|
I just want to die.
i really want to die. this feeling never goes away. i'm not exaggerating, i've felt this way for almost a decade.
I've done everything. many types of therapy, different drugs, trying to OD, i still cut myself.
I'm sick of it.
Peoplesay they care, but it's so fickle. when they decide they don't need me, they change their minds.
My mom hates me.
My dad left because of me.
My family blames me.
I have no friends.
I just want a way to end this.
I'm sick of people telling me to not do it, because it doesn't help, it makes me feel worse.
ODing doesn't work, i can't get my hands on a firearm.
If life wants me to quit so badly, why can't it make it easier to do so?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I wish I had the time and space to write what needs to be written. I would also like to know you better so I could earn your trust to show you that what you feel may not be the actual truth. I say this because I have lived most of my life with some of the feelings you have expressed here and I am now old enough to be your grandfather.
I don't think your father left because of you. I think that is an excuse your mother may have given you to put the blame on someone for your father leaving. Unless you have heard this from your fathers lips don't believe it.
There is a difference between hate and love. I can't say and I find it hard to believe a mother would hate her own child. Even if a mother for some reason did hate her child her maternal instincts would not allow her not to love her child.
As for family; not knowing the extent of how you are using the word I will not even go there.
What I do see in your writing is someone who is severely depressed. Is see that you have tried therapy. Therapy alone does not aways work. Therapy in conjunction with medication usually works better. Problem is doctors do not like to prescribe antidepressants for anyone under 18 because of some side effects.
I would like you do two things for me. First: I would like you to call the following organization;
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273-TALK (8255). Tell them what you wrote to us. They can help you. Ask them to help you find a medical doctor who can treat your depression and a therapist to talk with you who is knowledgeable in your type of problem. You may be more comfortable taking to a women so don't be afraid to as for females.
Second: There is another organization called RAINN. This stands for Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. Feeling as you do they too can help for you express yourself as mentally abused. Their number is 1-800-656-hope.
Both of these numbers are hot lines operated 24/7; staffed by professionals who can help you. RAINN will help you find doctors and therapist in your town.
If you are over 13 everything you tell your doctor and therapist is confidential. Not your parents, school or any one else can be told what you talk about or what you are being treated for without your written permission. This is Federal Law.
]
You wanna know the real reason why life isn't "quitting" on you? Because you can get through it. And because life is a privilege. You don't know if you'll have that privilege tomorrow. Some of the happiest people in the world get that privilege taken away instantly without their choosing. It seems impossible to deal with, right? Well it's not. You were born and put on this earth because you are strong enough to deal with the crap that life throws at you. Why does your mom 'hate' you? You have to try and find the source of the problem that is causing your pain. There's all sorts of help you can get to turn your life around. You need to think as positively as you can because it's the only way that things can brighten up for you. If you continue to bring yourself down, you'll make everything worse. If all your attempts to take away your own life haven't been working, don't you think that's a sign that it's not meant to be? Most people that want to commit suicide don't really want to die...they just want a way out. You can find that way out. Suicide is not the escape route.
]
The problem isnt whether you think people like you or not, it's if you like yourself. Many people are so consumed with the fact that they have to make people like them or even get approval just to feel justified. When all that really matters is that you live life for you and start to build on that. Don't be consumed by what others think and say. Build your life and successes for you. The right people will come along to support those successes. Remember that one time or another people feel alone and feel depressed. At the end of the day the only person that can overcome it is themselves. Don't let people dictate how or what you should be and live your own life to the fullest and make your own happiness. Everything else will fall into place.
]
More Questions: |