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I hate myself for being selfish, self centered


Question Posted Thursday February 3 2011, 11:00 am

when i am in school, all i feel is bitterness to people especially to my classmates and friends. i have friends in our room but i think we are not really good friends, just a companion. I cant feel their presence at times you really need a friend. We just have a happy time always. and i think that they will not be there when you need them. (do you think im being selfish for not thinking that we are friends?) i have to that conclusion because i cant accept and i feel irritated to their attitudes at some points. I think they are being competitive and friends are enemy when it comes to grades. Also, i dont feel the tight of being friends. you know? i have good friends, an i know what i feel whether and its a good feeling. a feeling of "friendship". do you think its right?

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Alin75 answered Friday February 4 2011, 2:21 pm:
Well, whichever way you play it, friendship is a two way street. Both parties have to be there for the other.

I partially disagree with the answer below, or at least the part that implies that friendships often end when things change. I am 36, I have two friends I knew since I was 7, one from when I was 8, another from when I was 13, and many from high school. And I am talking really good friends. The relationships survived people moving abroad, getting married, having kids, you name it.

But the point is that the friendship has to be right. Its ok to be competitive with your friends as long as it remains friendly. Its not ok to regard them as enemies no matter what one wants. Thats not friendship in my book. If you feel bitterness towards your friends you should really figure out why. Is it something on your end or on their end?

Of course, we are all different, and I have met people who never really get very close friends. Its all ok as long as you dont hurt anyone and you are happy. But, that being said, close friends (the kind you would trust with your life) are great to have.

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tay030693 answered Thursday February 3 2011, 2:59 pm:
it all depends on ur age level. upperclassman seem to acknowlege that there is more to life and things are going to change, and arent going to be together forever. I always feel this with friends as well. Im a senior and almost done with my last year and i feel like i have one friend that i will talk to when its all over and yet we arent going to the same college so it might not. when it comes to being competitive with grades just think does it all matter. you are you and they are them. if you do get a better grade or a worse grade so what? all that matters is you do well so you can better yourself. all you can be is yourself and enjoy each others company. thats what friends are. and i struggled with this alot too but just keep holding on because things only get bad so when there is good times u appreciate them alot better. did this help?

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