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Parents interrogations
How do I stop this? I don't understand why they do it, I'm an honor roll student who has never gotten into trouble. My parents always look angry every time I come back home, asking me all sorts of questions and acting like I'm lying the entire time. They hardly let me go out as it is. What can I do to make them less protective?
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I agree with the person below me, and I know that his method works out of experience. When I was a younger teenager, my parents always wanted to know where I was and who I was with all the time. Me, being in my 'angsty' teenage phase, resented them for being 'nosy'. As I got older, I realized that I actually liked my parents (haha) and I wanted to share with them the ups and downs of my dramatic teenage life. Of course, I didn't share the parts that would get me in trouble or compromise their responsibility of being a parent for their desire to be my friend. So yes, sharing things with them actually works if you want them to lay off. It shows that you don't mind letting them into your world, which allows for a stronger relationship between you and your parents. It just helps them trust you more and it helps cut down on any fights you have with them. Over time, you'll realize that the less you fight your parent's rules and ideals, the more they'll trust you and let you have freedom. Goodluck, Jess.
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This question is about as old as man kind. It would help if I know your age, since I do not I will go with a more generic answer.
I don't think the problem is that your parents think your lying or that they don't trust you. The problem is the mistrust they have for the world we live in a mistrust that unfortunately is somewhat well deserved.
In many cases things that were once considered child play are now criminalized. Children are forced to grow up long before they are ready physically or emotionally to handle some of the situations they may find themselves in.
Last but not least is children do not come with owners manuals. Parents learn their parenting skills on the job. They fall back on what they know which is how their parents raised them. If they feel their parents were to lenient then they will be stricter with their children. If they feel their parents may have been to strict or to smothering they may choose to be less so.
We read books, we listen to so called experts who tell us how we should be raising our children. Tough love was all the rage at one time. News flash it not only didn't work it back fired. Yet we still listen to these so called experts rather than follow our instincts.
Most of all we are scared. We are scared for your safety, as your safety and well being is our job one. Some children feel their privacy is being violated if they have to account for every minute of their lives. You do owe your parents the respect of telling them where you have been and maybe a little about what you have been doing.
If your having sex, that is something you probably do not want to share with your parents. I see nothing wrong with coming home and instead of waiting to be interrogated; saying hi mom after school Julie, Jan and I went to the mall. We window shopped, had coffee, met some other friends and basically just hung out. I'm going to room now to start my homework call me when dinners ready.
Instead of waiting for mom to give you the 3rd degree you volunteered the information you were willing to share with her. That information should be more than enough to let mom know where you were and what you were doing. Until she has reason to believe differently she should not ask any further questions. By volunteering the information you defused her reason for asking and any heated debate about privacy you might get into.
I'm sure what you see as being very protective is just your parents way of making sure you are safe and making safe decisions. If you try my way I believe you will find a more peaceful existence between you and your parents.
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