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whats the similarities/differences between heroin and cigarettes? i mean they both are addicting drugs.. they both can kill you.. what is the difference? why is one illegal and one is not? that pisses me off... :/

Woah woah woah...cigarettes and heroin are 2 different things when it comes to how dangerous they are. Cigarettes can be harmful to you, especially in the long run, but heroin just screws you up. Not only does it basically destroy your brain, when you're high on heroin you do things you wouldn't normally do and that could be hurting somebody else. Personally I'd stay away from both, as they are both pretty disgusting, but heroin is just insanely bad for you...

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I just found out that all my videos are going to be lost from google video! Some of them have been up there for many years and there are hundreds, if not thousands of links to them from all over the internet. They aren't letting us easily move videos to youtube or anything.

Can anyone tell me why this is happening? Writing to google is really pointless. They don't write back with anything but a form letter.

Thank you to anyone that can answer me why this is happening!

P.S. Doen't it make sense that a company this big wouldn't just shut down a major division without a good reason? If they have a good reason, then why don't we know what it is? :(

Well this is the first I'm hearing about this, but I would bet my bottom dollar that the reason is people's lack of interest in Google Video as compared to their interest in sites like Youtube. Sure, Google might have plenty of money to keep Google Video going for years, but what is the point if not many people are using it (by "not many" I mean in comparison to Youtube users)? It would just be a waste of money which they could be using to invest in newer projects because Google is constantly changing. Anyways, that would be my guess. Sorry about your predicament, best of luck, Jess.

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I don't smoke, I just want to know.

I hear all sorts of rumors, such as:
- It makes you stupid
- It damages brain cells
- It contains the same carcinogens as cigarettes

Are any of these true? Are there any other physiological / psychological effects?

There are many many MANY different opinions on weed. I'm not speaking from the position of a regular user, but I am speaking from the position of an observer to a pot-head older brother.

-Does it make you stupid? Well, whether or not it makes you stupid is more of an opinion really. I believe it impairs your rational thought process to some extent, but it's a slow process. You don't just wake up the next morning as a vegetable.

-Does it damage brain cells? There has been a lot of research to suggest that it does, however there has been a lot of research to suggest the complete opposite, that it actually helps people. I personally think it does because I can't see how inhaling smoke of any kind wouldn't damage brain cells. Again, I think it's a slow process.

-Does it contain the same carcinogens as cigarettes? What weed contains varies from plant to plant. It all depends on how the person who is growing it takes care of it, if they use pesticides, what water they use to water it, etc. Generally, I would say no, weed doesn't contain carcinogens. It's a plant, grown naturally and typically unaltered, unless laced with another drug. It would contain as much carcinogens as any vegetable or fruit, grown naturally.

Basically, humans are pretty individual and unique as far as how we react to things. How one person's body responds to weed as compared to another person's response could be completely differents, just like it could be in ANY drug (including legal OTC drugs). Speaking as an observer, weed has made my brother do a LOT of crazy things. He has been doing it for about 5 years now and I can easily say he has drastically changed. He is much more paranoid now (irrationally paranoid), his sense of judgement is pretty messed up (he doesn't really connect his actions with the effects), and he has become so dependant upon the drug that he has let it run his life. So to sum all of this up, yes I think there are psychological effects to smoking pot. However, I think they are different for each individual. Hope I helped, Jess.

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20/f

I am in a commited relationship, but for some reason I feel the need to have affairs. I am currently on my 2nd affair, the first is still kinda ongoing, but not as much as in the past, due to over time, it gets harder to keep it up. Is something wrong with me? Why do I feel the need to have affairs? I know you can't get in my mind and tell me whats goin on in there. But...IDK. just tell me something, please :)

First of all, if you are having affairs then you aren't in a "committed relationship". If you were committed to your significant other, you wouldn't be having affairs. I'd suggest ending all affairs and possibly breaking it off with your current boyfriend until you can learn to actually be in a committed relationship. Typically having an affair has to do with your self confidence. If it's too low, you are trying to prove to yourself and others that you're attractive by having multiple men. If it's too high, you may have a sense of apathy as to what your boyfriend might feel if he knew of your affairs. I think it would be best for you to tell your boyfriend of the affairs. It sounds like it would be what you need to snap you back into reality and show you that you are physically and emotionally hurting someone that cares about you very much, and that that isn't a good thing. Goodluck, Jess.

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I've been dating my boyfriend for a while now. We get along good and have mutual interests, and a pretty good chemistry. I spend every weekend, as well as Tuesdays and Thursdays with him. He lives about thirty minutes away, and we go to different schools, so we don't see each other as often.

In person, we are always laughing, always talkative, always sharing thoughts and memories. But when I call him, there is always something else more important going on. He's either watching television or playing video games, and I'm not a naggy person so I let him have his fun. But lately it's been so annoying. I'm always talking and there's just silence and the background noise from the tv from his line. He takes a few minutes for him to respond to things. I told him I wasn't going to call him if he's always distracted. He apologized and turned off the tv but the next time I called he kept the tv on when I threatened to hang up.

So how do I tell him firmly that I want to talk to him without so many distractions?

Thanks. I'm fifteen, and he's sixteen.

I agree with the person below me, mainly because I AM one of those people. I love my boyfriend of 2 years and I love talking to him but I hate talking on the phone. I just absolutely hate it, I think it's very awkward, no matter who I'm talking to. I know you want him to pay attention to you but it seems to me like he does. Just try to see things from his side and enjoy the time you do get to spend with him. Best of luck, Jess.

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About a day ago i found a small red bumpp on my vagina. And now its like kinda pink and white i dk wat this could be helppp!

It's a zit. Try not to mess with it, just like you wouldn't mess with a zit on your face. Don't pop it or anything because since it's on your vagina, the skin there is sensitive and there is a higher risk of it getting infected. Best of luck, Jess.

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So.. I recently decided to shave my Vagina. I was kind of scared to shave it at first but I wanted it to be smooth. Well, I shaved it and now there are like red bumps and I can't seem to get it smooth.. Also, I've realized that the hair grows back really fast and it's been itching down there a lot lately.. Is this normal? How do you get rid of the bumps and what is the best way to shave it? Thanks!

The bumps/itchiness are from razor burn...yes, it happens to all of us. Try using a moisturizing shaving cream before you shave and then afterwards put a little bit of moisturizing body lotion around the area, but make sure you don't get it in your vagina because that could cause an infection. Also, I wouldn't shave every day as that will just cause more irritation. I usually shave once a week. If you're regular about shaving down there and you don't just do it once a month or something then it will start to grow back slower. Goodluck, Jess.

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15/f - I've been having periods for over a year and a half now, but they are always irregular. My average cycle is 43 days. I'm on mefenamic acid pills three times daily when I'm on for extremely painful and heavy periods.

I keep getting hot flashes, at any time (not just on my period or anything) over the past few weeks they've been getting worse. Normally when I get one I've been talking about something embarrassing (like sex etc, that I don't have a problem with at all - my face just seems to blush!) or another good example is that when this guy I'm sort of in an open relationship with, but we're more friends than anything, comes over and sits with me I get a really hot and bothered and my heart beats so fast I swear you can see it moving my chest!! Sometimes nothing triggers it, they just happen.

Does anyone know why I'm getting such bad blushing?? Or even how I can overcome it, especially in situations like with my guy - where it is unbelievably embarrassing and makes me so readable!! Thank you :) xx

Hot flashes and blushing are two different things. I blush easily also, but most boys I run into seem to think it's adorable for some reason. There isn't really any way to "fix" it, it just happens. Just get used to it and if someone points it out, just laugh and brush it off. Also, I did that a LOT more in front of my current boyfriend when we first started dating about a year ago. Now I'm much more comfortable around him and it almost never happens, so I wouldn't worry too much about it. Best of luck, Jess.

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F/15
Ok, so I finally got the boyfriend I've been wanting since I was a little kid. He's amazing and I'm so glad to be with him. But I'm having an issue. He's been acting like he likes a very good friend of mine (we'll call her Olga). I've only been dating him for three weeks, but he's been hanging out with this girl a lot lately and its bothering me. I have a good reason for it too... let me explain the whole thing.
This is a long story, sorry. Ok so originally, my boyfriend was dating this girl, we'll call her Penelope. I was really close with him at this time and to be honest, I liked him even though he was dating Penelope, who I was friends with. I couldn't help it... He's an amazing guy. I was guilty about it, don't get me wrong, but... yeah.
Then after two months, Penelope broke up with him. I was texting him throughout the entire thing (yeah, she broke up with him through text-very unexpected) and helping him through it. I wsa NOT thinking about a relationship with him at that time, I was focusing on getting my two friends back together. Once I figured out she was sure she was over him, I tried helping him get over her, not cuz I wanted to date him, but because he was obsessing over a girl who didn't like him.
Two weeks after the break up, he started telling me about how he sorta wanted to go out with Olga. He said she was the type of girl he liked. (He didn't say it, but shes smart, absolutly gorgeous, a talented musician, and always looking perfect and cute and all). And I was really hurt by this, but I tried to hide it.
I dealt with him talking about this girl for a month, and then he asked me if there were any girls he should think about going out with, and I told him I thought he had already decided he wanted to go out with Olga. He said Olga would be a nice girl to go out with, but he hadn't made any official decisions. He told me he wanted to know who liked me so he could find out who he liked. I told him he should focus on who he liked and go from there. Then he said he liked a girl, and after a day full of guessing and teasing, he told me it was me. At the same time, he was making me tell him who I liked, and it was him. After making sure Penelope was ok with it, he asked me out, and we've been dating for about three weeks now :]
But all we've done so far is hold hands, nothing more than that. And he's hanging out with Olga and talking to Olga a whole lot. I don't know what to do, it really hurts. He says he thinks I'm amazing and beautiful and that he likes me a lot... But... Olga's still there and still gorgeous. And he did like her. I don't know what to do.
I might be overreacting, but please, help me!!

This must be really really hard for you, it would be for me...but I agree with the post below. If he hasn't done anything to make you not trust him, you shouldn't just assume he's going to cheat on you or anything. A relationship can only work with trust. And if he does end up to be a cheating jerk, so what? That just means she gets a guy who is unfaithful and you will find someone who loves you and isn't going to stray. You do have a right to be uncomfortable about this situation, but don't let your jealousy destroy your relationship. Best of luck hun, Jess.

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Long story short, I asked a friend to prom who wasn't my boyfriend. The Thing is, I knew my boyfriend didn't really want to go, although he offered to take me. He hates dances and wouldn't enjoy himself, I didn't wan't to force him into a situation that makes him unhappy. We also have a long distance relationship, so I would have to pay a lot more money to take him when he wouldn't really want to be there in the first place. I genuinely thought that he would be relieved not to go, but I made the mistake of assuming he would be okay with it. However, when I told him he was really upset. We have been going out for almost a year and never fought until now. I feel terrible and want to make it up to him more than anything. Please, I need some advice on how to fix this ad apologize.

Yeah...that was definitely not the smartest thing to do. I wouldn't want my boyfried doing that to me, especially without consulting me. How would you feel if he went with someone else? If you want to fix this, you need to talk to him. Say to him: "I'm really sorry that I did this, I wasn't thinking clearly. What do you need me to do to make you feel better?" I don't blame him at all for being upset, he has the right to and it's good that you recognize that it was wrong. All you can do is talk to him and hope he can forgive you. Best of luck, Jess.

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My daughter is 13 and I'd like for her to start paying for her new clothes, accesories, and basically everything. Of course I would still pay for her food and keep a roof over her head. She doesn't have a job but she gets $5 a week for allowance. Do you think it's okay to make her start paying for stuff?

If you're going to make her pay for that kind of stuff on her own, I'd suggest paying her more. $5 a month is definitely not enough to buy 'everything' with, even if she saves it up. Honestly, I'd say her being 13 still makes her a kid...don't make her grow up so fast, her childhood will go by too quickly anyways. Best of luck, Jess.

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well im getting braces and i was wondering eat u can and camnot eat

You can't eat apples or caramel. I would strongly suggest you don't eat stringy foods or things that would get caught up in them easily. Also, chewing suger gum is a BIG no-no. Remember to brush very thoroughly though, no matter what you eat! Best of luck, Jess.

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I have so much anger && depression in me.
For the past month or two . My life has been taking completly changing and its not the first time , its like this time its really hurting me. I cry myself to sleep everyday, and with no on to even talk i mean no one . When Im around people im fine but hahaa when iget home it just comes . Ive mistreated way to long . But you guys are giving advice like its so easy its not really i dont know to deal with this at all .

Nobody ever said it was easy. Life isn't easy. No one's life is perfect, so that shouldn't be your expectation, or you will be thoroughly disappointed. Here on Advicenators, we give people advice. It's up to them to decide what to do with it. If you've decided that there is no changing of the dark place you're in, then there is absolutely nothing any of us here can do for you. It is up to YOU to decide how you are going to fix your predicament, all we are trying to do is lend you a hand in doing so. Considering we have all been depressed and been through bad things before (everyone, not just the people here on this site) I'd say you should be more open minded to other people's advice. You can't just say 'oh that will never work, my situation is completely different' to everyone who tries to help you. Also, it would probably help if you elaborated on your situation a little bit more. It's all anonymous here, so you don't have to worry about people knowing who you are or anything. Anyways, best of luck, Jess.

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I am in high school and a girl and I CANNOT stand when people chew their gum like a cow. Problem is, in my school people are allowed to chew gum, and very few of them keep their mouths closed. The ones near me seem to be the worst :/ but I don't want to be rude asking them to stop, and I try to ignore it but I can't. What should I do? Thank you!

I'm sorry but there's really nothing you can do about it. You can't force people to do what you want them to do or stop doing what you don't like. The earlier you learn that in life, the better off you'll be. Plus, I don't know how things work in your school, but in mine if I told someone to close their mouth while chewing their gum, they'd probably actually try and chew it even more obnoxiously. That's just how a lot of teenagers are. If it starts to bother you, try to absorb yourself into your school work as a distraction. I would definitely advise against asking the annoying gum chewers to stop though...in highschool, you don't want to make a lot of enemies. Best of luck, Jess.

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i have been with my girlfriend for awhile,how do i know when she is ready to have sexual contact?

13/m

You'll know when she tells you herself. If you pressure her into it, she'll probably regret it. Wow, it still astounds me how young kids are wanting to have sex these days. I agree with the person below me, you have your whole life to do these things.

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my son is 15 years old and he behaves really bad.i know that he is using marijuana and he goes to party and come home really drunk if i start to argue with him he would screem at me and get really agresive with me .i had to call the police twice because he wold come home late every weekend.what can i do can.

He sounds like my older brother when he was 15. Look, I don't know your situation, but I was a spectator of those kinds of things happening between my brother and my mom for a long time. You need to stand up for yourself. YOU are the parent and therefore it is YOUR responsibility to keep your son from heading down the wrong path. He may kick and scream and threaten, but in the end, you will be doing the right thing by being so strict. You were right to call the police.

You say he goes to parties and gets high and drunk, but do you let him go to parties, or does he sneak out? If you let him go to parties, then stop letting him do that. If he sneaks out, then continue calling the police on him. It's better for the police to go out and find him before he gets into even more trouble.

When my brother was going through this (and even worse), my mom never stood up to him. I always wished she would because I was worried about him and the kind of people he was hanging out with (your son's friends probably have a HUGE influence on his life and are a major reason of why he acts the way he does). My brother never had a parent that stood up to him, so he kept doing all of that bad stuff and currently, he is working at Walmart full-time as a cart pusher. He never even graduated highschool. That is what happens to kids who fall in with the wrong crowd and don't have a parent who will stand up to them.

So, don't just sit around and wait for him to grow up and out of this 'phase' because if you do, he will probably have gotten himself into quite a lot of legal trouble which can ruin a lot of oppurtunities he would have had in the future. Stand up to him. If he misbehaves, punish him. If I were you, I'd take away his cellphone (if he has one) so it could distance him from his friends.

He might not like it, but you need to stand strong and guide your son through his teenage years. I was never really in to the 'take things away from the misbehaving teenager and hope it works' way of parenting, but seeing my brother go through exactly what your son is going through, I now understand that tough love is sometimes the only real option. Best of luck, Jess.

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I was wondering on how not to not to feel pain then I saw heard about this guy that couldn't feel pain now I am having seconed thoughts is it wrong?

Well, think about it this way, if you touch your hand to a stove top and you can't feel pain, it still hurts your body. You just wouldn't know what your body was able to do and what it wasn't. Pain is what tell your body that something is wrong. You'd probably need to have weekly or monthly doctors appointments just to make sure you aren't walking around on a broken leg or something. And like the person below me said, if you're talking about emotional pain, if you can't feel pain emotionally, you also can't feel happiness. So, it would be a pretty depressing life, either way.

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i've been thru wayyyy 2 much for a young age. And i want to do drugs, cut myself, die, scream, yell, cuss ppl out, cry, i have emotional panick attacks all the time, my grades have dropped and im seeing a therapist, and even tho i recently made a big breakthru i still feel depressed. if some1 wants to rly help me,send me a message. its hard...life..it rly is. My life b4 this was as easy as breathing, and since then has taken a dramatic turn. i live in a violent household, mentally abused. i cant describe it. i have the most fucked up life in my grade. Sometimes i think im kidding myself when i sat to myself "evrything will ok" trying to be posititve. i fucking hate evrything. nothing will change. give the best advice if u've ever been in my place. thank you.

Every teenager in the world has been in your place. It's called teenage angst and it happens to every teenager out there. Everyone in your grade thinks they have the most screwed up life in their grade. I did when I was younger. The feelings pass, you make it through. Just keep your head up and remember that everyone is going through what you're going through, if not worse. You may think nothing will change now, but they will. I guarentee it. And in a few years, you'll look back at this time and laugh about how dramatic your life seemed. When I was in about 7th grade, I was just like you, saying all the stuff you just did. Then I met a girl who was being sexually abused by her own father and I realized that I really didn't have much to complain about. So yeah, your teenage years are a hell of a lot better when you let go of all your angst and just live life. Message me if there's anything else you need help with. Goodluck, Jess.

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I'm an 18 year old female with nothing on my sexual resume. I've never been kissed and the furthest I've gone with a guy is an awkward pat on the back. I am too the point where sex is just about all I can think about. I wanted to wait, and save myself for the right moment. Now all I want (or it really feels like need) is someone to just hold me, touch me, anything. Masturbation can only get you so far. I'm not this girl, I wanted to fall in love and have it mean something, but now I can't wait, I don't want to wait and its literally driving me up the walls. What am I supposed to do with myself, do I just go find the nearest guy and jump into bed with him? I don't want to feel like this anymore. Please.

Well you seem to be ready, so I'll skip the 'make sure you're ready, you can only lose your virginity once' speech. I wouldn't necessarily go to the nearest guy and jump into bed with him because then word will get around that you're 'easy'. And I'm assuming you don't want that. If you feel like you're ready for sex, then start looking for a guy to be in a relationship with. Someone you will trust, and who you know will treat you right (in every aspect of the relationship, not just sex). Sex is 100000 times better when you're doing it with somebody that you love and trust. Random hookups are usually sleezebags that just wanted to 'get some' and will probably go tell the whole world about your little sexcapade. Again, I'm assuming you don't want that. So goodluck, Jess.

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I'm asking this for my friend who is too chicken to do this himself. He and his girlfriend of one year and 14 days broke up. She broke up with him. They were doing the the long distance. After our first semester of college she broke up with him saying that she was too busy and join so many clubs and whatever. He didn't want to break up. So now next semester he is still into her. Everytime he's one facebook he looks at her wall posts, who she added as friend, and new pictures. Its kind of creeping me out. So what should i do or say to help move on? I'm running out of ideas, Help!

Well first off, Facebook creeping is actually really common now-a-days. Everyone I know that has a Facebook account does it, so that shouldn't freak you out or make you worry or anything. It's normal. Also, when a break up occurs, friends need friends to be around and support them. There really isn't anything you can say to make everything better, but just be there for him and invite him to hang out as often as you want to because it will make him feel wanted, which is what everyone really wants to feel after a really bad break up. You didn't mention if you were a guy or a girl, so hanging out could be different things, depending on what you like to do. Anyways, just be there for him, hang out with him, bring him food, whatever. He can't be upset forever. Goodluck, Jess.

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