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He's always distracted.
I've been dating my boyfriend for a while now. We get along good and have mutual interests, and a pretty good chemistry. I spend every weekend, as well as Tuesdays and Thursdays with him. He lives about thirty minutes away, and we go to different schools, so we don't see each other as often.
In person, we are always laughing, always talkative, always sharing thoughts and memories. But when I call him, there is always something else more important going on. He's either watching television or playing video games, and I'm not a naggy person so I let him have his fun. But lately it's been so annoying. I'm always talking and there's just silence and the background noise from the tv from his line. He takes a few minutes for him to respond to things. I told him I wasn't going to call him if he's always distracted. He apologized and turned off the tv but the next time I called he kept the tv on when I threatened to hang up.
So how do I tell him firmly that I want to talk to him without so many distractions?
Thanks. I'm fifteen, and he's sixteen.
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That's typical. A lot of dudes don't like talking on the phone, so that might be all it. is. I think you've done all you could but leave him alone if all he's doing is playing video games.
xoxo,
dottie4
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I agree with the person below me, mainly because I AM one of those people. I love my boyfriend of 2 years and I love talking to him but I hate talking on the phone. I just absolutely hate it, I think it's very awkward, no matter who I'm talking to. I know you want him to pay attention to you but it seems to me like he does. Just try to see things from his side and enjoy the time you do get to spend with him. Best of luck, Jess.
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Before you sink your claws into him, take a deep breath and consider: What if your boyfriend, the person he honestly is, is a person who just doesn’t really like talking on the phone.
Yes. What he is doing is rude, and you can tell him as much. But instead of starting this conversation by demanding he change to make you happy, why not open up a conversation about what would make you both happy?
Give him some space, without your judgement and without fear of your getting angry with him, to tell you how he feels about these phone calls.
Let’s be serious: Every weekend and two weeknights a week is a good deal of time for a healthy teenage relationship. I live with my partner, and we probably only spend that much QAULITY time together. The rest of our time together is spent cleaning, working, running to and from places, at work, out with others... ect. Two evening plus weekends of QUALITY time together, is a good, positive amount of time to be commiting to a serious relationship.
Let’s be every more serious: People run out of shit to say. We get tired. We get distracted. Conversation isn't everyone's idea of a relaxing thing to do.
Perhaps you can speak to your boyfriend about making an agreement like, not calling during shows he particularly likes, or not speaking for more than 20 minutes. Although he shouldn’t be acting rudely, you also need to be open to compromises that work for him. That might mean calling less, at different times, having shorter conversations, or shit: Write him an e-mail and let him respond at his own pace.
It’s fair to ask him not to be rude.
It’s not fair to insist he feel the same way about phone conversations that you do.
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