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Should I make my child pay for there own things?
My daughter is 13 and I'd like for her to start paying for her new clothes, accesories, and basically everything. Of course I would still pay for her food and keep a roof over her head. She doesn't have a job but she gets $5 a week for allowance. Do you think it's okay to make her start paying for stuff?
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I think that is a little young to be paying for clothes and accesories, not just because she can't really get a job and get things for herself but because that means you could lose control of what she wears. She is a teenager and fashions these days seem to mean less and less material for younger clothes.
By all means with her $5 ask her to buy perhaps her own hair aaccesories but at thirteen I believe parents should take responsibility for the clothes their children wear and make sure they are clothed.
My own mother went to extreams when I was at college and university, she made me work, support myself with clothes, food and so on and give her housekeeping despite not receiving any benefits from it.
Your daughter will soon be wanting to impress the boys, it is what teenagers do and I am sure you do not want her to get into any trouble.
Hope this helps.
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Having your daughter start making her own money and having her by things on her own is a very great idea... she is only 13 so you may want to up her allowance a little and teach her if she wants something she has to save the money to buy it... still provide her food and clothes that she needs but if she wants something extra like a hat or an extra shirt tell her to save up maybe give her small task to earn the money since she cant yet get a job she has to learn how to handle money and how to save for what she wants good luck
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No...I'm a 15 year old and my parents have never said that to me....I asked them why one day and they told me....I'm in high school and getting a job to pay for things would only get in the way of my studies....its hard to do that....and even if she gets 5 dollars a week...she had to at least save for a couple of weeks to get clothes and things she wants...things are not that cheap these days....and she is just to young to pay for things....I wouldn't make her pay for things....in my 15 year old opinion...
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Okay I don't want to be harsh or anything but common shes 13. In what, middle school. Yeah goodluck having her find a decent job. If you had her paying for her stuff, it would be with the allowance money so, you would be paying for it anyway cause the allowance money comes from your pockets. This is just my opinion, but I think she would be pretty upset with it. Maybe have her pay for the things that she wants extra. Of she really needs new jeans, don't make her pay for those. But if you two are ever out and she sees these earrings she 'has to have ' she should definitely pay for those herself. Wait until shes at least in high school to expect that much of her.
Again this is just my opinion
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i think if its things she doesnt need like more clothes and stuff just because she feels like getting more clothes, then you should make her pay on her own.. but i think 13 is a little young. if shes too young to get a job, how is she to pay for her own things? mske her start doing things around the house and then youll pay for more things until she gets a job.. idk, just my opinion :)
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The columnists below me have already put it pretty well but I'll add my thoughts anyway.
Up until I was 16 my parents paid for pretty much everything. At 13 they gave me £25 a month (around $40) which was for me to spend on little things I wanted or to save. This eventually increased to £50 ($80). I have friends who were given much more but who were expected to pay for their clothes and some 'luxury' items and if I'm honest, it's those people who are better at budgeting now.
I got my first job at 16, earning around $500 a month and that's when my parents stopped paying for 'extras' - outings with friends, clothes I didn't need, most make up, expensive beauty products etc. They continued to pay for some clothes (for example if I needed a new pair of shoes, a coat etc), my phone bill and every day beauty items (such as shampoo and basic skin care products).
Personally, I think I had it pretty lucky and was probably somewhat spoilt. Starting university in September was a huge shock because I no longer had a job and have to live off around $300 a month - and that has to cover food, beauty, health, hygiene and sanitary products, clothes, going out and transport. It was difficult going from having $500 to spend on whatever I liked to having much less to live off. I'm not complaining about what I had but in some ways I do wish my parents had been tighter with money so I'd had the chance to develop better spending and budgeting habits.
Having said that, $20 a month isn't nearly enough to pay for everything and at 13 your daughter is very young to be given complete responsibility. I would suggest giving her a bigger monthly allowance and continuing to pay for necessities like skincare products and clothes. For now, her allowance could be for her to spend on things like going to the cinema with her friends, extra clothes and accessories or for her to save. As she gets older, you can start to raise this allowance and give her more financial responsibility.
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No its not okay. What do you expect your daughter to be able to buy with her $5 per week allowance? That isn't even enough for a tee shirt. Your child is only 13 and you are her parent. It is your responsibility to provide her with the essentials she needs, such as clothes. I can understand you wanting your daughter to learn the value of a dollar, and that is a great lesson. But you need to wait a few years. Maybe until she is at least old enough to get a job. At that point, she can buy "extra" things that she wants. But even at that point you will still be responsible for the daily essentials such as clothing and hygiene products.
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Hi, I'm old enough to be your father and your daughters grandfather. Hopefully the wisdom that comes with my age may be helpful here.
I think I know where you trying to go here with having your daughter pay for her own things. There are several problems with your thinking.
First and foremost your daughter is still a child for whom you are responsible to feed, cloth, keep in school and keep healthy and safe.
Second if you wanted to implement a program such as what you have written about you would have to fund that program sufficiently to insure there is enough funding to cover the basic necessities in her life. Five dollars a week does not even come close to cover the basic needs of the average teenage. My reasoning for this is simple, refer to rule number one.
It is never to early or wrong for a parent to teach their children to live within a budget, that is what an allowance is for. The allowance is for her to spend on those things she wants but does not necessarily need. If budgeting responsibility is your goal then you need to set an allowance that is realistic for today's market place and the area you live in. Five dollars in to days economy will not even cover a hamburger, fries and a soda at any of the fast food outlets there are today.
I found in raising my child that there are two types of things in a teenagers life. There are those things they need and those things they desire and want. The things they need such as school supplies, clean serviceable clothes and shoes, medical and dental needs, good food, a warm safe place to sleep and do homework and others are a parents responsibility. The things they desire such as a prom dress, earrings, CDs, video's and video games and gaming machines and other luxury items are not a parents responsibility to provide especially if they are not affordable.
With my child I did two things. I gave him an allowance that would allow him to be able to go out and have fun as well as, with proper budgeting he could purchase some of the things I would not purchase other than as gifts. When it came to clothes he wanted the designer labels to be like his friends. Since they were affordable for me I would purchase them if he wanted. I also made him an offer where he could choose between the designer label and the knock off. The savings in buying the knockoff would go to him to use as he wanted say to budget for a gaming machine.
I was trying to teach my son two things; the importance of budgeting your money as well as the importance of how you can make money go further by buying good but not necessarily the designer brand. He learned he could buy two of something by buying the generic brand over the designer brand as well as getting a real education in the value of a dollar.
When he was finally old enough to get an after school job I was very surprised, as well as pleased to see how tight he was with the money he was earning. In fact I had to step in so to speak and advise him it was okay to enjoy a little bit of what he was earning.
If it is budgeting of money you are trying to teach your daughter then my advice is you find away as I did with my son to teach her. If there is another reason for what you why you want to do what your writing about I don't see it; write back and tell me or us and maybe we or I can advise you.
As you have written you cannot do. It violates the responsibilities you have under the law as a parent.
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No, it's not really ok. The way you just put that...
Setting a budget is one thing. Buying her what she needs within reason and allowing her to add to it is another. Making a 13 year old responsible for anything other than a small portion of what she wants is more than a little messed up.
She's a child. She needs a taste of responsibility and limits. She also needs to be able to dress like she'd like some of the time without having to pay for it. You need to provide limits and a taste of responsibility, not give her a sufficient allowance to buy things and leaving it up to her.
I also think 5 bucks a week is a really small allowance for a kid who doesn't have any responsibilities at all at 13.
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Wow - I don't mean to judge, but that's so unrealistic and unfair. First of all, your daughter is 13 years old. Not even legal to get a job, especially pay for her own clothes! If you give her $5 a week, you need a reality check. That's enough for two packs of gum. Either give her a bigger allowance and teach her the importance of saving money and using it wisely. So, I don't think it's okay to make your THIRTEEN year old daughter pay for her own clothes and basically "everything".. it's just really selfish of you as a mother.
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If you're going to make her pay for that kind of stuff on her own, I'd suggest paying her more. $5 a month is definitely not enough to buy 'everything' with, even if she saves it up. Honestly, I'd say her being 13 still makes her a kid...don't make her grow up so fast, her childhood will go by too quickly anyways. Best of luck, Jess.
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I'm sorry, but that's not realistic- 5 dollars a week won't go very far and it isn't really fair since she is too young to get a real job. I agree with the person below me, having her do chores or work around the house for money/new clothes is a much better option.
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In this economy $20 dollars a month is not enough to get by, I can understand frustration but your daughter is 13 years old and does not have a job. (Assuming)
I would go about it another route, If you feel your daughter should help you out more then I would have her be doing chores around the house. Until she has a stable part time job I wouldn't be expecting her to pay for her clothes. Your daughter is a child, Again I would hold off until she has a part time job but even when she does you shouldn't be expecting your child to pay for everything out of their own pockets..There will always be a time where they need help from the their parents.
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At $5 a week, that gives her $260 a year to purchase clothes, shoes, pay for extra-curricular activities and save for college.
Personally, I would say that's not enough. However, if your daughter is proving to be rather extravagant in her tastes, it's very reasonable to say that she has to pay for her own entertainment and 'wants' out of her allowance, and that you'll pay for her 'needs' to a certain limit. Keep in mind that she'd have to save for 3 weeks to go to one movie and get popcorn. That's pretty tough for a girl her age, when social gatherings become more important.
When I was 13+, I had a part time job, so my parents gave me about $200-$300 a year to refresh my closet, replace things that were worn out, etc. Every year, I was to go through my clothes, make a note of what I needed, give it to them so they could judge whether I was being reasonable or not, and then from that they would decide what my limit would be. Some years I needed more, if I was going through a growth spurt (which your daughter will likely experience in the next few years) or if I was starting a new job with wardrobe requirements. That way, if I wanted a pair of $200 jeans that was all I got, so I learned how to budget.
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considering she does not have a real job and she is only 13 maybe not. if she wasy 16 i would say yes. with the amount of money she gets if she wants say a candy bar or a certain food or wants to go to the movies one day i would say yes to paying for that but for clothes i would say no clothes are expensive i being 18 if i need new clothes my mom would give me some money and i have a job so if i want more clothes then ill use my own money. if she wants to do a certain activity with out the family like go ice skating stuff like that then its approiate that she should pay save up if she wants to do something or get a certain thing.
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