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Boyfriend is pissed I asked some other guy to prom instead of him
Long story short, I asked a friend to prom who wasn't my boyfriend. The Thing is, I knew my boyfriend didn't really want to go, although he offered to take me. He hates dances and wouldn't enjoy himself, I didn't wan't to force him into a situation that makes him unhappy. We also have a long distance relationship, so I would have to pay a lot more money to take him when he wouldn't really want to be there in the first place. I genuinely thought that he would be relieved not to go, but I made the mistake of assuming he would be okay with it. However, when I told him he was really upset. We have been going out for almost a year and never fought until now. I feel terrible and want to make it up to him more than anything. Please, I need some advice on how to fix this ad apologize.
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Honestly...and i know this sounds bad...but take it from me bring your friend to prom! Im now a second semester freshman in college and when i look back on my prom photos i get really upset. The reason for this is because i asked my (at the time) boyfriend who i was completely in love with to go with me. He, as well as your boyfriend, does not like dances...or people in general really =/. Anyways, we ended up going together and he acted miserable for parts of it not wanting to dance or have fun with me. i dont know how you are personally but i am a very outgoing person who loves to have fun! and he was not. So anyways, after a little over a year of being together he broke up with me because he couldnt handle the distance of me being at college. Now whenever i look back on those pictures all i think about is how much fun i could have had if i went with my other guy friend (key word friend) and not my ex. I know it sounds terrible...but honestly i think you made the right decision asking your friend. your going to have a blast and always remember having a great time at prom and not a sucky night. Oh, and dont worry about the sex after prom thing...its just some stupid cliche some man came up with to get laid =P. So all in all have a good time at prom...its a night your going to not want to wish you could forget, like me who unfortunately does.
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I know how it feels to realise that you have made the wrong move but don't hit on yourselve too much, no body is perfect at the point you probably thought it was the best thing to do, let your boyfriend know that your intentions were not to get him upset and why you decieded to go with some other guy, and then apologize to him, let him know you know that the decision you made was wrong and would not repeat again. Am sure you will learn not to take such decisions alone but always ask your boyfriend's view because what might sound right to you might not be to him such as this situation.
If the prom haven't been, then i suggest you cancel it with the other guy - For your boyfriend to initially offer to come along even though it is not his sort of thing shows how much he loves you, am sure your boyfriend would have even offered to assist you with a bit of money if you told him that was an issue but now you've blown it so dont. Just plead with him and let him know how much you appreciate him offering to come along and how much it will mean to you, it will be a lasting memory.....
If the prom has been, then you have to apologies and find a way of making up to him and also let him know there is nothing going on between you and the other guy you decided to take....
Good luck
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Given that prom has, sadly, become synonymous with having sex... how would you have felt if he told you that he was taking another girl to sex-fest?
I thought as much. ;-)
Now, as for making this right, I think you are half-way there. What you told us here, is a good starting point for what you should be telling him.
He may not believe you at first, since, as you can see from what I pointed out, it makes no sense unless you wanted to have sex with the guy you decided to go with instead, but you may be able to convince him if you honestly meant no harm when you did this.
If you did want the other guy more than your boyfriend, then you should be honest and just tell him that, break up and be done.
As you can probably tell now, the message he was giving you was: "I really hate dances, but I love you so much I will put you before my happiness."
With that in mind, tell him you understand, but you did the usual thing girls do in a situation like this: Make a decision based on what you think is reality of another person's feelings... without consulting them at all.
I have had this done to me before. It is one of the most maddening things ever. My last go-round with this was about something as simple as exploring a new store. She decided that I was never going to go with her, so she went herself.
Didn't ask me if I was ever going to go, just assumed I wasn't.
It wasn't the store issue, that almost ended the relationship, it was the fact that if she would do this...
... then what other things might she just go ahead and do since she thinks she knows what I am thinking without so much as asking me what might be in my head?
Trust in a relationship, is everything. Ours made it through this issue, and I hope that your relationship does too.
Remember: This isn't about prom. Not at all. This is about him never being able to trust you won't make a relationship ending decision on a whim because you think you know his thoughts without asking.
Good luck!
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Just apologize and make a romantic gesture with a neck message or kisses and extra hugs.
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Yeah...that was definitely not the smartest thing to do. I wouldn't want my boyfried doing that to me, especially without consulting me. How would you feel if he went with someone else? If you want to fix this, you need to talk to him. Say to him: "I'm really sorry that I did this, I wasn't thinking clearly. What do you need me to do to make you feel better?" I don't blame him at all for being upset, he has the right to and it's good that you recognize that it was wrong. All you can do is talk to him and hope he can forgive you. Best of luck, Jess.
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First of all, no shit your boyfriend got mad. You should have talked to him about this first. I'd be pissed off as all hell if my girlfriend did this. Secondly, how long distance of a relationship is it and why the hell are you having one in high school? Weirdo. Thirdly, I'd talk to him about it, apologize, and see what he wants you to do. It's sometimes hard to find a way to fix something without talking to him. If he doesn't want you going with a guy, then don't. Maybe he'll come down to see you, maybe you'll just have to go with friends. Remember, when you're in a relationship every action you do can affect two people, so you always have to think about what's going to happen to the other.
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I think you should tell the guy you are going with that you decided to take your boyfriend. apoligize and maybe all go to dinner or something before the dance. but i would really be upset to if i was in your boyfriends situation. I would hate fo rmy boyfriend to be going to prom with someone else. our relationship probably wouldnt last. he offered to go to make you happy prom is a big deal and he wants you to remember it with him.
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