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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
I'm a commuter student at my university. I live at home with my mom and my grandparents. In the Fall, I plan to move out. I will be an upperclassmen in the Fall. So, I have two choices: dorm or apartment. Which should I pick? This is what I've come up with so far:
I am working on campus and I'm in a sorority, so sometimes, it gets late and I'm still at school. Having a dorm would make life easier since I wouldn't have to drive home every night. I wouldn't get home very late on weeknights. I'll have privacy and space, which is what I need. I know that I'll have a roomate, but it's completely different. I'm also involved in many clubs on campus. So, it's convenient for me to just walk over to anything I need. I also think that my family wouldn't feel as bad if I moved to a dorm because it seems like something necessary for me to be more comfortable while moving to an apartment they may see it more like I just don't want to live with them.
The issues with the dorm is this. My school is big. Going to a big school means there's all kinds of different people. Some people are bad and some people are good. The other day I was almost taken by a cult. I know it sounds weird, but it really happened. They started talking to me and wanted to put me in their car. Then I found out and confirmed that they were a cult and they were taking people. It was on the news, the internet and everything. The girl who was trying to seduce me into it lives in the dorms because she left her family since they didn't want to participate in the cult. I'm SO scared of that. What if the roommate is literally a psycho... like this chick? In an apartment, I would be able to pick my own roommates and a few of my sorority sisters would be willing to move with me.
The other thing is that I'm already 20. I don't know if living on campus is just fun for the first or second year students. I'm not trying to say it is or it isn't. I have no idea since I've never lived anywhere other than my house or with any other people less than 30 years older than me. So, either way I think it would be fun and different to live with friends. But, I'm just saying what I've heard. A lot of my friends who were living in the dorms moved out last year and it was also cheaper for them. Maybe I could get a place that's close to school. It's not like I have to move 20 or 30 minutes away.
What would you do in this situation? Either way, I'm really excited. I just want to make a decision that would be fun and responsible. And just a sidenote: As far as the partying goes, I guess me and my friends do party but we don't throw major parties with tons of people. We would mostly go out and come back so we're not extremely noisy. And in an apartment, i could decorate as I please. I'm not as limited as I would be in the dorms.
Any suggestions, preferably from people who have been in this situation before?
Thanks!
HI, I'm old enough to be your grandparent and I will offer you some advice based on the wisdom of my age. While I can't make a decision for you; what I can and will do is point out what I feel are some points to consider and hopefully the benefits of each choice.
First you are correct in that living in a dorm you are assigned a roommate rather than selecting a roommate. If the dorms are full and you are put with someone you just cannot live with, for whatever reason, this can and will have an effect on you school work.
You are also correct concerning your on campus activities. What you need to also consider is your safety. How safe is it to walk from the activity to the parking lots as opposed to the safety of walking back to the dorm. Which is safer. Your safety and security should be paramount. Then the question of commuting distance can be considered.
I'm sure your family understands that you are getting older and want to experience life. I doubt they will see your choice of moving into an apartment or dorm as simply not wanting to live with them but for what it really is. You wanting to experience a little more of college life.
As for the other things you mentioned they are somewhat ancillary to the real questions.
From my point of view your choices are: Safety and convenience, and selection over assignment regarding a roommate(s). Both are very important questions.
Not knowing where you go to school my first thought is safety. Some schools and the area they are in are safer than others. Even so your safety has to be or should be the larger part of the decision making process.
i am very under age for sex but i cant wait to have it. i also cant wait to have a shower with my bf and btw how old do u have yo be to do that. i have tryed masterbating but is there a way to do it without putting anything in you??
btw im a female and im 12
Hi, I am old enough to be your grandparent. I am an advisor on this site for questions just like yours. I will tell you the truth; how you care to follow my advice is totally up to you. You have actually asked three questions; I will try to answer all three.
We receive a lot of letters like your. In answering to the others I have found a web site that I will provide a link for. After reading my advice and before making a decision I would like you and your boyfriend to look at this website. It is all about first time sex.
To begin with; sex between two consenting people; generally speaking they are adults or older adolescents, is a beautiful thing. To totally enjoy sex you need privacy, comfort and security. At your present age it is doubtful that you will find all three.
Privacy, comfort and security are more for the women than the man. A women needs all three in order to relax and enjoy sex. She is the one who's body is being invaded and if she cannot relax and is not secure in her surroundings or is fearful of someone walking in on her, then most likely she will not enjoy the sex and probably will not orgasm.
Sex at your age: There is no law that says you have to be a certain age to have sex or to shower together. At age 12 I would say you are way to young to be having sex. While you body may be capable; you do not have the maturity needed to have sex or to acquire the needed precautions to avoid getting pregnant.
At your present age you should be learning how to fend boys off, to keep them from groping you. That's part of teenage life. When you get a bit older and more mature you might let your boyfriend feel your breasts and maybe even finger you and you might even give him a handjob. Most importantly you both keep your clothes on. Right know keeping your clothes on is your best defense against pregnancy.
From groping and fingering you can then move on to oral sex. What this does is help relieve the raging hormones both you and your boyfriend experience with puberty.
You asked about masturbation: Women experience orgasm in two ways. Some are vaginal and some are clitoral. By vaginal I mean that the only way they can orgasm is through penetration of the vagina. During masturbation a women will stick one or two fingers or a dildo in her vagina to bring herself to orgasm. Clitoral orgasm is brought on through the stimulation of the clitoris. Many women use a combination of both clitoral and vaginal stimulation during masturbation.
Masturbation is the best and safest way to relieve sexual tension for someone your age. Masturbation is practiced by over 95% of the population, even married adults and used as part of foreplay. Most all recognized religions approve or condone masturbation.
I know I have been long winded her, but you asked a big question.
My advice is you wait to have sex as you are far to young. You may have entered puberty but you are still a child. To start having sex now is something you will regret in later years. There is also a double standard to think about. While your boyfriend will be seen as a big man; you will be given the label of slut or worse. Don't rely on your boyfriend to keep your sexual escapades a secret, he won't and he can't. Teenage boys a wired to tell the world, so to speak, when they become men. Becoming a man to a teenage boy is the first time he has intercourse.
Please look at the following link before you make any decision about having sex.
http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/virginity/readyornot.html.
Hey, my boyfriend is very skilled when it comes to fixing things... computers, ipods, stereos, etc. He gets a few clients here and there, and never lets them down. He always helps them and gets they're stuff fixed by the time he says he will. The problem is, he needs more clients and I'm trying to help him figure out a fantastic way to advertise himself. He has legit business cards, I told him he's got to get out there and hand them out and interact with people so they know he's legit. I was thinking newspaper ads, putting up fliers around bust parts of towns where we live, and even craigslist. Does anyone else have any creative ideas that has helped you or anyone you know?
Any advice would be very much appreciated. Thank you so much.
Newspaper advertising is an expensive way to market a business; it also does not allow for target marketing as the newspaper may cover a wider area than he may want to serve.
One of the best ways to market a business is word of mouth. Once your boyfriend has fixed something for someone he should send a letter to that person thanking them for their business and asking if the were satisfied with his work. In an effort to grow his business he would like to offer than the enclosed discount coupon for their next service. To validate this coupon all they need to do is refer someone to him for a repair or service.
The value of the coupon could be anywhere from 5% to 25% off their next repair or service. The higher the value the more chance his customer will refer someone to him.
This is a very inexpensive way to market his business as both the letter and coupon can be generated off his own computer.
Holiday cards is another way to market a business. Sending holiday cards not only for the traditional holidays one would send cards for but for the non-traditional ones too; such as Memorial Day, Labor Day and Thanksgiving.
The left side of the inside of the card will read "Wishing you and your family a Happy________. The right side of the card might say something like 10% off computer tune-ups.
The thanksgiving card is always a big hit with customers as it is so unusual that they usually talk about it at the office. You can also include the referral coupon in place of the discount coupon for the computer tune up or send both. Birthday cards are always a big hit with customers especially when they are not expecting to receive one from a service company.
When servicing a customers equipment your boyfriend should always keep on record the customers name address and phone number. If possible try and get information such as date of birth, wedding anniversary and children's birthdays.
Before a motor vehicle accident forced me to retire I had produced a list of twenty or so question concerning my customers and their business that I felt were important for me to know. Among the first questions are the ones I have given you.
At the beginning of each month you have your computer generate a list of all customers who have a birthday or wedding anniversary that month and prepare the cards for mailing. If the month has a holiday in it you should have those cards prepared for mailing as well.
Doing good work is probably the smallest part of growing your business. Keeping and finding new customers is the largest and hardest part of the business. Customers have short memories, even when you do good work. Communicating with them in the manner I suggest is inexpensive and also a unique way to keep your name in-front of then. It is just unique enough that they will most likely say something to friends an neighbors, one of whom will need your services.
It sounds like your boyfriend has a small business. The goal here is to work smart and inexpensive. As his business grows and he can afford more advertising the next level would be the local cable company.
I got this e-mail and I want to ask you if you think this is a scam or should I get in on a lawsuit?
"Thursday, February 24, 2011
Avandia, the Popular Diabetes Drug, has been Restricted by FDA and Banned in Europe
Avandia, the Type-2 diabetes drug produced by GlaxoSmithKline, has been warned against by the Food and Drug Administration as well as banned in both Europe and the UAE. Experts claim that Avandia may be responsible for causing heart problems as well as strokes in patients.
Have you taken Avandia? You may be entitled to a settlement - but you need to act now."
No it is not a scam. The law firm that sent the E-mail has filed a class action law suit against the maker of Avandia.
If you are a Diabetic and have been treated with this drug and suffered any side effects from it. Then you might be covered under the class action law suit and awarded damages based on the amount of the award, the number of litigants minus the legal fees. The award could be, large or small or nothing at all.
You received the Email because your name and Email address where on a list either supplied by the drug maker or some other list provider that has you in some manner tagged to Avandia. If you have not ever been treated with this drug, ignore the Email.
If you have taken Avandia as part of a diabetes treatment then I would suggest talking with a local attorney before responding to the Email.
Hi- sorry to rant but my family is crazy and I need to vent somewhere. Please help.
Basically, whenever my mom gets angry, she turns into a psycho and starts yelling at my brother.
There's a lot of history behind this. When he was a junior at high school, he started going through severe depression. At the time, my parents were having a very aggressive divorce and my mom was in a very bad state of mind, often crying and losing her temper easily. As a result, she didn't notice that my brother was depressed so she didn't notice when he started missing school without telling anyone.
When the teachers finally mentioned his absence to my mom she became furious and started screaming at him, that he was just like his father and why couldn't everyone leave her alone as she sacrificed so much from her life to try to make things work out for everyone. To this day she still speaks about the start of my brother's depression as if it was a personal betrayal (she had high expectations about his school future as he is smart).
My brother then proceeded to fail his high school exams and not get in to university. He and my mom would often fight, sometimes ending with her breaking things from his room against the wall. My brother lost interest in everything and had (and still has) no friends. He refuses to talk to my dad because my dad is a dishonest person who isn't interested in having a relationship anyways (a lot more history there but i won't go into that) .
My brother then went to a 6-month therapy camp abroad, stayed with relatives, came back to re-take his high school exams (after a 1 year study program) and failed them again. He has no drive and I'm very worried about him. He is now doing a pre-university course that will give him one more chance to get into uni but I'm afraid that he may fail again. He doesn't do drugs or anything like that but the main problem is that he just doesn't do anything! He is addicted to the internet and cares about nothing else.
My mom is still angry at him. She thinks that he doesn't respect her and thinks that she is an idiot (that's what she tell me). If she just communicated with him about it, she would find that he is actually a very nice person who would respect her if she just stopped using him as an emotional punch back. To me it seems like she just gets so unreasonably angry, as if she is taking out her issues against my dad onto my brother (or something!).
They just had another argument. My brother lost his temper last night because my mom made him do the dishes, so she got really angry at him for losing his temper. She then started yelling at both of us for not taking her seriously at around 12pm, woke up my brother by yelling at him and stormed out of the house. My brother didn't let me come into his room (I think he was crying) but a while later told me he was going to the local hospital because his hand was bleeding. It turned out he had punched his mirror and now there is blood spattered all over his floor.
When my mom comes home, she will probably get angry at him for losing his temper again and getting blood all over the floor. She seems to think he is some sort of monster. I am now sitting home by myself feeling pretty shaken up and I'm not sure what to do. When they both come home, it's going to be hell. Please help.
I'm not a doctor but from what I know about depression your brother is still suffering from depression; so is your mother. The crying, temper tantrums, the withdrawal from friends are all signs of depression. Your brothers problems in school are another sign.
The best advice I can give you, which you will probably have more success with your brother than your mother, is to get your them into treatment.
From your writing I can't tell if you live in the U.S. or another Country. if you live in the U. S. take your brother to a local emergency room. By law they have to treat him. If you live in another country where public health is available take your brother to the appropriate health center for treatment.
My friend has internal bleeding and she hasn't been coming to school a lot. People have been saying that shes dieing. And she has been to the hospital a lot. How could she have gotten this internal bleeding and how does a person even get it?
There are a number of reasons people suffer from internal bleeding. The most common reasons are from injuries received in an accident and form stomach ulcers. Your friend may also be a Hemophiliac; which is a person who's blood does not clot properly and need special treatment in Hospital when the do get injured.
Is it possible to die from internal bleeding? Unfortunately the answer is yes. If the doctors are unable to control the bleeding a person can die not only from the bleeding itself but from transfusion shock when the doctors try to replace the blood loss.
The fact your friend has internal bleeding does not mean she is dieing. The fact that she has come to school at times is a good sign. The best thing you can do to help her recover is to be her friend. Visit her if she can have visitors and be up beat. Help her parents keep her spirits up by keeping her included in what is happening in school and with your mutual friends. Ask her parents what things are allowed; such as some type of short get together with all her friends, then make it happen.
In other words just be her friend.
my parents used to make me clean the entire house as my "chore" for living at home, all through high school. My sisters are apprx 12 years younger than me, and because my mom is perpetually sick and my dad is perpetually working, i have always been the one to take care of them. Recently i moved out, and over the last few months the house has absolutely gone to hell. the carpet is literally covered in clothes, food, and my sister's toys. my dad has left some plumbing projects undone which has resulted in mold. to make a long story short, they no longer care if the house is clean or not.
I have noticed since moving out that my sisters (4 and 6) are always ill. they go through pneumonia, colds, flu viruses more than any other kids i have seen, and i know it's because my family is living in their own filth. whenever my dad sits them down to eat, he brushes all the food crumbs (and objects) onto the floor to make room. he uses bath towels as pot holders.
Because i was hurt that it only mattered to them when they could force me to keep the house, i stopped coming home every weekend to clean up for them (even when my mom said she was going to pay me) but started once again when i went into the bathroom and stepped into a used baby wipe. (my dad won't allow us to flush them, we have to throw them in the trash, which was overflowing)
I think my parents might be hoarders as well. you cannot walk through the garage, even though we have cleaned it out 4 or 5 times; my dad refuses to get rid of anything. only recently could we even walk around downstairs.
the house being in constant disarray has resulted in my parents being on edge and also, constantly sick. i usually wake up to screaming. I can't talk to my parents about anything without being treated like i am younger than my sisters, then i am reprimanded for trying to correct them.
now here is the problem. I am going to move to another state soon, and i am afraid to leave my sisters in this environment; there is no way i could take them with me, i can barely support myself. if i mention anything about how to keep organzied, i get yelled at, and treated like i am too stupid to understand them. it's getting frustrating, and i don't know how long i can stand coming home and seeing everything BEYOND dirty. how do i tell my parents that i am worried about this environment, and that i want things to change? my mom is too sick to really help, and my dad has started habits that are actually making it harder to keep things clean (like putting trash in the sink when the can is full, then putting and industrial sized can in the living room because he doesn't want to walk 5 feet.) it looks awful and it's harming their health. furthermore, i am tired of being responsible for essentially, 4 children. i don't want my sisters to have the same emotional problems that i did from being seen as a cleaning tool... and i have no idea how to talk to my parents about it.
please, please help.
First let me say I'm sorry you find yourself in this position and that I am extremely proud that you care enough for your siblings to want to do something to make a better life for them.
My suggestion is probably not something you are going to like though it is the right thing to do given the situation you have written about. You have a right to a life just as your sisters have a right to a warm, clean home and clean clothes to wear.
My suggestion is you contact the child social services division of your local government. If you are not sure how to contact them you can ask the local police or sheriffs department for help. From what you have described your sisters do live in a dangerous environment. Local law enforcement can help you with contacting child services.
Child services will of course look to you to care for your sister. You will have to explain to them that you are moving out of state for what ever reason your are and are not financially able to care for them. If you are willing and it is only money that is the problem child services will supply funds to care for them.
You should also have a list of names,address and phone numbers of Aunts and Uncles, Grandparents and even close cousins who might be able to step in and care for your sisters, ready to give to child welfare.
I realize what I am asking of you is going to be the hardest thing you have ever done. It is also the right thing to do and in the best interest of your sisters. Hopefully a relative will step up and take your sisters into their home and care for them until social services is assured your father has cleaned the house and made it a safe environment for your sisters.
Will your parents get upset with you for doing this. I'm sure they will; what is important is the safety and health of your sisters. You are not your parents housekeeper; that is not your purpose in this world. You have the right to seek out your own destiny. If your mother is to ill to care for your sisters and keep the house clean then your father has two choices. He can step up to the plate and care for your mother and the children as well as keep house or he can hire a housekeeper and caretaker. It appears he has chosen to to neither expecting you to do what is his responsibility.
Just for the record I am old enough to be your grandfather. If your father was my son or even my son in-law he and I would be having a rather heated discussion about the living conditions my grandchildren and his wife are being forced to live in. To be frank your father needs a wake up call.
Can a girl get pregnant if sperm gets in her ass
Anything is possible. The likely hood of someone getting pregnant from unprotected anal sex is highly unlikely.
First the germs and bacteria in the rectum would most likely kill off the sperm. Second the sperm would have to leak from the anus down and into your vagina and travel up to fertilize an egg. Possible, yes; likely, no.
A word of caution here. While anal sex is a great way to avoid pregnancy and for some a very enjoyable for of sex. Anal sex should never be done without using a condom. There are way to many germs an bacteria in the rectum that even thoroughly washing the penis will destroy.
Okay so today my mom and dad were going to buy me an i pod touch i have been waiting for about a year to find out i was going to even get it and yesterday they said i could get one but when we got to the store my dad said it was cheaper online and we could save $20 but i told him that i could pay $20 for it now but he said no and now i have to wait another week for it. so when i got home i made a scene about it i ran in my room slammed the door threw my shoes against the wall and cried for about half an hour but i wasn't just crying about the i pod other things have happened in the past 3 year my dad lost his job 3 years ago and still doesn't have one we are running out of money(that's why i couldn't get the i pod sooner but my conformation is coming up and they have money saved for me so they said i could get it) on valentines day the boy i like found out i liked him but he didn't like me that way(we are friends) and later found out that he has a secret girlfriend he told no one about and i just couldn't handle all my school pressure and i am the smartest kid in my family(i have 2 bothers and a sister)i used to get all a's but now i have b's and c's and my mom and dad are upset i can't keep up this image they want. so i had a complete melt down about this whole thing and i think i has something to do with anger issues because my older brother has anger issues so maybe i do too. i don't know but i need so help
Hi, I'm one of the older advisers on this site; old enough to be your grandfather. Do you have anger issues? Hard to say from what you have written. Just because your brother does is not a reason that you too have anger issues.
What I believe is going on is more of frustration than anger. I'm sure with dad being out of work for so long the family dynamic has made a drastic change. As you point out it took mom and dad a year to save for your Ipod. When you went to the store and returned home without it, the frustration you have been carrying around finally broke through and the meltdown commenced. Frankly I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner.
As for your school work suffering. I can understand that with the family dynamic changing, the onset of puberty and the changes in your body along with the hormonal changes you are experiencing it is somewhat understandable that your school work would suffer as well.
As you did not include your parents reaction to your melt down I believe they were not that upset by what happened. Which tells me they understand your frustrations. They too are frustrated along with scared for what the future may hold that they cannot control or even foresee. Your dad being a good parent is also frustrated that he is unable to provide for his family the way he would like to.
Yes, we all have are frustrations; we all have are meltdowns. The question now becomes what to do about it. For you I would suggest you talk with your school guidance counselor. Tell him/her what is going on in your life and how you feel. He/she should be able to work with you to help you find ways to relieve the stress. He/she can also work with your teachers to get your grades back up.
The economy is getting better, there are more companies hiring and your dad will find a new job. When this happens the your family dynamic will change for the better and the stress you are feeling will start to lift.
17/f
I'm turning 18 in two weeks, I'm partially excited.. But yet, I'm really depressed about it. I get more and more sad when the day gets closer. I'm already stressed out about school, because I can't help but think about when each of my assignments are due. It makes me realize what day it is, and I just think. "This many days till my birthday, and my parents divorce." Why are they divorcing? Money problem. When I'm 18, I'm no longer getting government money. My dad is retired, and he's turning 73 a week before I am. And it gets me really sad whenever I see him try to win the lottery, and hearing from my sister that my dad says my mom doesn't want him anymore because he can't support us financially. And it gets me really upset, because I won't be able to see him anymore. He's leaving, so it hurts whenever I see him try to do whatever he can now. I see him, clean, cook, garden, fix my car, before he's not here anymore. He's going to be moving in with his little sister to watch over his mom since she currently went blind.
I'm happy he gets to take care of her, but yet; he's going to be in another city. Which makes me sad. I keep wanting him to stay, but I don't want my parents to argue. My mom wants to stick around me and my older sister to take care of us when we're already growing up. I mean, my sister's turning 23 this year and she already moved out. My mom still wants to watch over us.
I know, I can't stop time. I wish I could. I'm trying my best to think positive about this whole situation, and keep thinking and hoping that he won't leave on my birthday or even discuss divorce on my birthday. Because, my birthdays have never went well.. Ever. There wasn't a day where I didn't cry or get frustrated, a day that it always rained. My parents wouldn't understand if I even spoke to them about it.
They don't consider mine or my sister's opinions, because they say it's their decision. Maybe one day I can go visit my dad & his mom now and then? But I would really miss him living in the same house.. Especially since my mom would be working even harder to even keep up with the financial problems. Help! How do I even think positive or even feel a little bit better on my birthday?
I wish I could think of a better way to help you then what I am going to offer.
The first thing to remember here is that nothing that is happening between your mom and dad has in anyway been caused by you. Whatever is wrong between them is just that; between them. No child young or old, child or adult wants to see their parents marriage break up.
Your father is not leaving you and does, from what I am reading, want you in his life. You have the ability to visit him whenever you desire. This is a plus factor many children don't have. Many children either take sides or are not old enough to visit the parent that has moved away independent of that parents visiting schedule.
Financial problems always put a strain on a marriage; problem is that financial problems just don't go away with the divorce. Possibly the spending that lead to the problems do but not the overall problem. Here again this is not your problem and again from your writing no one is blaming you.
Your problem as I see from your writing is one of stress. Teenagers have a lot of stress placed upon them as it is. They have the stress placed upon then with school, their social life, the desire to get into a good college and the list goes on. Now you have the added stress of your parents divorce which is going to have an adverse effect on at the very least your school work. You cannot let this happen.
My suggestion is you find someone to talk to that can help you to unburden yourself and be a relief valve for some of the stress. This person can be a teacher or the school guidance counselor. You can also contact the local mental health department and ask to speak with a therapist for depression and stress counseling.
I am recommending this direction rather than fee for service as finances seem to be a problem. If you have good health insurance you should see your family doctor. Tell the doctor what is bothering you, you might even show the doctor the letter you wrote us. Your doctor can then direct you to the proper care for stress relief and for what I'm sure is a little bit of depression brought on by the stress you are under.
what is are courses of virgina sores?
The best cure for what you have written about is to see your doctor. When you do, be honest with your doctor, he/she has to know everything including how long you have been sexually active and the type of activity so you can be treated properly. If you are over 13 anything you tell the doctor is confidential and protected by law. The doctor cannot tell anyone including your parents; this is the law.
If you have an STD the doctor is required by law to report this to the area health department. Their job is to contact your sex partners to find the source of the infection and to stop it from spreading further. They are by law not allowed to inform your parents either.
last year i had to beg my parents to let me get rides with my friends, who were older than me and had their lisences for at least a year. finally my parents said yes, and things were great, until one of my friends was involved in a car accident 2 months ago, and i was in the passenger seat. no one was hurt, but ever since then my dad wont let me get rides with my friends.
my mom is okay with me getting rides, but says we have to respect my dads wishes, so she wont talk to him about it. he wont listen to me. i got into so many fights with my parents about this, and eventually i gave up. so now i just deal with it. but its embarassing to have to get rides from my parents, and its hard to hang out with my friends. i dont like lying to my parents either.
i dont let my lisence till october. i dont want to miss out on an entire summer of being with my friends.
please help. thank you. im a girl, and 15, if that helps. :)
Unfortunately I'm on both sides of this issue. I'm a parent and old enough to be your grandfather. I'm also a member of a Fire Department Rescue Squad. As a fire fighter assigned to the Rescue squad I have had the unpleasant task of having to cut all to many teenagers, both dead and barely alive from what remains of their cars after they crash.
For those of us that do this job it is the hardest of all the jobs we do. For most of us are parents ourselves. When we have a shift where we have had a particularly devastating accident we all go home and hold are children a little closer.
It is not hard for me to understand why you father feels as he does. He's scared; he is afraid of loosing you. It is not that he doesn't trust you, he doesn't trust the person driving. Teenagers think they are invincible, that nothing bad will ever happen to them.
There is a line from an old movie where a commanding officer is telling a pilot "Son your writing checks you body can't cash." This is true of almost every teenage male driver. They all think they have great car control skills; they don't. They keep pushing and pushing until one day they push to far.
That's when I get called. When I finish getting them out of the car, all to often the Police have to make what for them is the worst part of their job. Notifying the parents. Telling them they have to go to the hospital or worse to the area morgue to identify the body.
This is what scares us as parents, you too will be scared when the time comes when your children reach the age you are now. You are not going to be able to negotiate with you dad on this one. But in time he will remember what it was like to be your age. Unfortunately at the moment he is remembering only what he was like when he first got his license. Give him some time and he will come around as did I and my parents.
(18/f) my parents are always on my ass about grades, same with my little sisters. one of my sisters (15) has always had A's and B's in everything, so she was never an issue. since i started highschool i've gotten D's and even F's on my report card, and needless to say, this isn't acceptable. my other sister (12) usually got A's and B's but she's been getting C's and my parents flip out over it, and my mom just told me thats because she scored advanced on all of her test scores. my other sister and i scored proficient. for some reason, this is really bothering me. they tell me i'm smart and could do better, but now i'm not really sure. i have a horrible memory and can't study. i can just never concentrate enough to even bother.
but this is pissing me off mostly because now i know both of my little sisters are smarter than me and i don't even really think i should try anymore. its a little late for that, anyways. i have about 3 months left of my senior year and then i'm finished with grades. i don't plan to go to college.
is there any possible way i could take an IQ test or something? now i'm just curious. am i not trying my hardest or am i, in fact, stupid?
People learn in two different ways; as I found out with my son. There are visual and oral learners. The ones that do better with people actually teaching them, oral, usually also suffer from some form of ADHD, Attention Deficit Disorder. This sounds a bit like you and what it took the Army to diagnose my son with and thankfully they did.
Once he was properly diagnosed the military was able to teach him,he excelled in his military studies and was the Honor Graduate from his Advanced Technical School Training. This was a big change from a kid that I was once told to teach to ask "do you want fries with that order."
Today he is a Paramedic who has a number of life saves to his credit. He took what the Army taught him went on to College, made up what he was deficient in and was the Honor Graduate from his Paramedic class. He was also a Deans List Student all but his first semester in College.
Yes I'm proud of what my son has accomplished and you can do as he has done. You test with a HI IQ yet you have a problem learning just as he did. What you need to do is be tested for ADHD. This is something your family doctor can test for. If I am right and you are like my son, once you are on medication you will be able to concentrate more.
The next step is to enroll in one of the independent learning centers where one on one teaching can be obtained. They will not only help you make up the work you are deficient in, they will help you learn from the main stay teaching methods.
You probably have a learning disorder that is undiagnosed. This is something that can be over come, you are not stupid by any definition of the word. I should not be saying this but your parents are wrong to get mad at you for something that is not your fault. Learning comes easy to your sisters and it will for you once you learn how to deal with your learning disorder.
Your biggest problem is your parents don't understand how two of their three children excel in school and they are frustrated because they want the best for all their children. That is the job of all parents.
My advice is: You make an appointment with your family doctor. By law and the fact you are an adult, as you are 18 you can see the doctor without parental supervision. When you are with the doctor explain just as you have to us. Ask if it is possible that you suffer from ADHD. If the doctor agrees then ask the doctor to explain this and how it has effected your ability to learn. I believe once your parents are aware of the problem they will no longer be mad at you and most likely be mad at themselves for not seeing this.
Then you can search out a proper learning center to help you.
I am a 17 year old girl, I have been in relationships with guys, but I don't know if I have ever been in love with them.. I think, I have been in relationships with girls too. Here is the difference between the two, when I am with a girl, I feel I need to protect them, I never get enough of talking to them, Kissing them makes my heart melt, so on and so forth, When I am with a guy,like I am now, I don't care if they talk to me or not, even if people say he is so hot and can't find myself attrached to them, I almost get disgusted with myself when I kiss him and don't know why, I just don't know what to do, I can't take this confusion. People tell me that I am happier with girls. But I just don't know what to do, ever sience I was little I was attrachted to both guys and girls, as I got older I started having dreams of girls, but then I "fall in love" with a guy, or is it lust? am I bisexual or lesbian?
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
I would be hesitant to place a label on your sexuality. At your age both boys and girls are still trying to figure out their sexuality. To label yourself as a Lesbian or even bi-curious would not only be wrong but self defeating at this time. To even put this in the category of a phase that most young people go through would not be right either.
There are a number of reasons for sexual attraction to someone of our own sex at this age. First and foremost is the fact it is safer and easier to relieve the sexual tension brought on by the changing hormones your body is producing. Parents think nothing of two children of the same sex being behind closed doors, sleeping together, even in the same bed, particularly females. Puberty can start much earlier than one may think and can be the reason behind your early feelings for girls.
I have known women that have been bi all through college, then gone straight heterosexual afterwards. Reason it was easier and sex was more available if you were bi; it was also safer.
My advice: Don’t put a label on your sexuality at this time. Just enjoy learning about who you are sexually. When you are older if you still want to put a label on your sexuality then do so, but for now just enjoy being you.
Hello, 16 F here
I don't know how to explain myself...
Why don't I list what I can think of?
-I have friends. I have a lot actually. All of my best friends aren't necessarily friends with each other (in other words i do noy have a close-knit group of friends)
- i do not hang out with them much
- normally i stay at home and go on the computer or do things with my family
- i often feel i can't talk about my problems with anyone
- i feel as if no on really knows who i am and what my personality is like
- that being said, my personality is CONSTANTLY changing depending on my surroundings. At school i am happy and nice and friendly and funny. With my famiy i am funny and irritated and very political, but i feel more relaxed. When in by myself i feel scary and alone and crazy almost. I dont feel like anyone likes me
- i DO NOT have suicidal thoughts. Of course i have wondered about it, but i cant imagine myself doing it EVER
- i eat a lot. A LOT . i eat when im bored, or i eat just because there are snacks in the kitchen
- my sleeping patterns are relatively normal
- sometimes i feel so empty and alone, no matter where i am. I feel like i cannot connect with anyone
- i have muscular aches regularly and i get strong headaches almost on a daily basis
- i have never had a boyfriend or kjssed a guy. However i have had MANY MANY opportunities. Also, sex doesnt necessarily interest me that much.
- i have good self esteem. I am not narcissistic, but i KNOW i am beautiful and smart. People often tell me i am both, so i guess i just believed it too.
- i feel out of touch with society. Sometimes, although i WOULD NOT EVER act on them, i actually SOMETIMES have homicidal thoughts..... That sounds so bad, but i am being completely honest, though
I am so sorry for the length
I just wrote anything that came to mind
How would you diagnose me... Depression? I am not sure and i am confused
Thank you so much for any help
PS i am sorry for any grammatical errors... I'm on my iphone :)
My question is... Do i have sone
As someone old enough to be your grandfather it is my opinion that you are not typically depressed.
Some of what you have written about yourself are symptomatic of depression but probably not enough for a diagnoses of teenage depression. The homicidal thoughts are worry some to me as are the daily headaches. The homicidal thoughts could be benign unless you actually have a plan to kill someone. The headaches are another story and are a symptom of high stress which could lead to depression.
For the most part you sound like a typical teenager having some trouble dealing with the early years of puberty. This doesn't mean you should not seek some form of help. The first thing you can do is to ask the school guidance department to screen you for depression.
Should they refuse, which is a possibility you should make an appointment with your family doctor. You need to do this anyway to have your headaches checked out. Your family doctor can screen you for depression. The treatment for stress headaches is almost the same as it is for depression, just different meds along with talk therapy to help you deal with the stress.
As someone 16 years of age you can visit your doctor with total confidentiality and have been able to do so by law since you were 13. The law, known as HIPPA, guarantees your rights to speak with your doctor in private without parental supervision. Anything you say to your doctor can not be told to anyone including your parents without your expressed written permission.
Now that you know this, make an appointment with your doctor; tell him/her exactly what is troubling you. Asked to be screened for depression. Then follow the doctor's orders or advice.
18/f (who is a senior in high school)
I'm being charged with Lar-2337-m1
I was wondering why it's a class 1 charge and not a class 4 charge ?
(this was my first .. & will be last... offense..)
The item I stole was a 35$ shirt from a department store.
My other questions are:
Should I just plead guilty or no contest ?
& do I even need a lawyer if I'm going to plead guilty ?
& could I ever have this expunged from my record if I am found or if I plead guilty ?
You are 18 which means these charges will be on your record for life if convicted at trial.
My best advice is to hire a lawyer. The fact that you and your friend where treated differently needs to be told in court. Unrepresented you will have trouble bringing this up in court, especially if pleading guilty or no contest.
If you cannot afford a lawyer the court will appoint one, but these lawyers are very overworked and not always the best of legal representations. If you can afford to hire a lawyer than it is in your best interest to do so s the outcome will effect you for the rest of your life.
i'm 18 year old girl
i wouldn't categorize myself as a "sexually active" person.. but my boyfriend and i have talked about it and he really likes to get horny and mess around. I told him i'm willing to do some things with him because i want this relationship to work. i really want this relationship to work. i think i'm in love with him.. i think he's the one.
we have been dating for about 7 months now and we recently had another discussion/argument/kinda fight about oral sex. he said he really wants me to give him head and wants to give me head. I've done it before. i'm no virgin mary. but i'm not crazy about it either. I just don't really "get off" when i do oral sex. can someone help me?
when he gives me head, it tickles. like sometimes i will start laughing because it will tickle. it doesn't really get me horny, but its not like uncomfortable. its just like enjoyable i guess. but i dont get off from it. does anyone know why i don't get off of it? and how i could?
when i give him head, i tend to gag a lot. I don't like the taste of cum or pre cum. i tried licking it and it just made me gag even more. there was a point when it felt like i needed to throw up.. so then i tried just sucking it without tongue and that was ok but he wasn't too crazy about it. so any advice on how i can get past the gagging? we tried putting a condom on him but it just tasted like latex :/ blech.
please help!!!!
thank you!!!
My advice on sex has always been and always will be that sex is a beautiful thing between two consenting adults. Nothing is weired or strange as long as both parties consent to whatever it is they want to do.
While you may have consented to oral sex you are not comfortable giving it and receiving it does not turn you on. Okay; there is really nothing wrong here that time and practice can't fix. Oral sex is a great form of foreplay and a great alternative to intercourse as is mutual masturbation. The problem here is one of comfort for you.
How do we fix this. First you and your boyfriend have to communicate better. He has to understand you are not comfortable with giving or receiving oral sex. Practice of course will make it better, but first you both need to know the proper way to start, then experiment with to find what each of you like and dislike.
As for you giving him oral: Nothing says you have to let him cum in your mouth. You will know when he is ready to cum. Just before he shoots take your mouth off his penis and finish him with a hand-job.
The taste of cum changes somewhat based on what he eats. My wife and I have found what foods make my cum bitter. When we have sex after having these foods and she decides she wants me to climax during our foreplay she will finish a blowjob with a hand-job. She likes to this sometimes just to see how far she can make me shoot. Frankly when we get to that point I really don't care if I cum in her mouth, her hand, or her vagina; just as long as I cum. I think your boyfriend will feel the same way.
As for receiving oral sex: This is where communication really comes in. The greatest thing about sex is two lovers exploring and learning about each others bodies, likes and dislikes. This is where you have to teach your boyfriend about your body. What you like and don't like. How to touch you, how to lick you, should he put his fingers in you or his tongue.
My wife has a very pretty nose and when we first met it was one of the things about her that turned me on. It was also a big turn off for her sexually. Until she told me I loved to kiss and lick it as part of our foreplay. I thought her shaking her head was because it tickled and since I also liked to tickle her I continued.
Communication is the key to any successful relationship. This includes a sexual relationship and is a very important part of that relationship.
i've been talking to this guy from craigslist, who's got an 85 camaro for sale. he's asking for 2000 for it. he said that it has no ac, or heater, and needs new vacuum hoses. he said he's got the vacuum hoses, just hasnt had the time to hook them up. i thought that he was asking a reasonable price for it, considering what's wrong with it. but i wanna know how hard is it to fix the ac and heater? what all do you have to do? is it expensive? would i have to buy new parts? i'm going thursday to go look at it and see if it's worth buying.
also, if anyone could tell me little things to look for when i'm looking at it to see if it's worth buying, that'd be great! i know nothing about cars! :) thanks so much
I agree with Zane on the Craigslist thing. I will also add that $2,000 for a car that needs all that work is a little steep. Not knowing what is wrong with the A/C and the heater you could be buying a money pit.
My advice: Pass on this one, based on your last sentence the possible cost of the known repairs could double the cost of your purchase alone. Then their are the hidden costs such as the transmission and possible engine work needed. It sounds to me as this car was not well maintained. Try and find a car that you can afford from a reputable used car lot.
Okay so im 11 yrs old and i've gotten my period already im on it this week so tomaro i have school but i sit next to a guy, how do i know when i have something in back or what if i smell? but also today i was wearing shorts and some blood ran down my leg... im terrified if that happens at school help !!!!!!
Hi, You're 11 years old which would put you in middle school and already getting your period. This is, from what I can see by what you have written, probably freakin you out a bit.
As someone old enough to be your grandfather and being male I can't really offer advice on your immediate problem. What I am going to offer is where to go to find the best advice for this problem and other problems of this type.
I'm sure you have heard what I'm about to say from your own parents or grandparents; none of us were born parents or grandparents. At sometime in our lives we were once you age and have gone through just about everything you are facing and will face. When it comes to the different changes your body is going through your best source of information is your mom.
Trust me your mom went through this, she had all the questions you have and are going to have and she has the answer. If something is happening that is not suppose to she will know it and know what to do about it. There is no reason to be embarrassed about any of the changes puberty is bringing about; it is a normal part of life.
As I said this is a normal part of life; trust mom to have the answers to your questions, the right answers. If for some reason it is not possible to have a private conversation with mom at home as her if just the two of you can go for a ride or a walk someplace where you can have a girl type talk. Mom will understand.
I'm a 17 year old female living in South Africa. I have a boyfriend who I have been with for 1 amazing year and an ex boyfriend who I was with for 2 years . I'm all about boyfriends. But I have some girl issues .!! Here's some things :: 1) when I masturbate I watch lesbian porn or I think about a girl. 2) sometimes when I see a girl I'm attracted to I get so turned on and I dono what to do with myself. 3) there is 1 girl in particular I want to be with sexually and emotionally but I don't know what to do . Should I go out there and try it or contain myself? Biggest problem is I love my boyfriend more than my own life ! Please advise me on what to do !!
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
I would be hesitant to place a label on your sexuality. At this age both boys and girls are still trying to figure out their sexuality. To label yourself as a Lesbian or even bi-curious would not only be wrong but self defeating at this time. To even put this in the category of a phase that most young people go through would not be right either.
There are a number of reasons for sexual attraction to someone of our own sex at this age. First and foremost is the fact it is safer and easier to relieve the sexual tension brought on by the changing hormones your body is producing. Parents think nothing of two children of the same sex being behind closed doors, sleeping together, even in the same bed, particularly females.
I have known women that have been bi all through college, then gone straight heterosexual afterwards. Reason it was easier and sex was more available if you were bi; it was also safer.
My advice: Don’t put a label on your sexuality at this time. Just enjoy learning about who you are sexually. When you are older if you still want to put a label on your sexuality then do so, but for now just enjoy being you.