|
I told him i'm willing to do some things with him because i want this relationship to work
i'm 18 year old girl
i wouldn't categorize myself as a "sexually active" person.. but my boyfriend and i have talked about it and he really likes to get horny and mess around. I told him i'm willing to do some things with him because i want this relationship to work. i really want this relationship to work. i think i'm in love with him.. i think he's the one.
we have been dating for about 7 months now and we recently had another discussion/argument/kinda fight about oral sex. he said he really wants me to give him head and wants to give me head. I've done it before. i'm no virgin mary. but i'm not crazy about it either. I just don't really "get off" when i do oral sex. can someone help me?
when he gives me head, it tickles. like sometimes i will start laughing because it will tickle. it doesn't really get me horny, but its not like uncomfortable. its just like enjoyable i guess. but i dont get off from it. does anyone know why i don't get off of it? and how i could?
when i give him head, i tend to gag a lot. I don't like the taste of cum or pre cum. i tried licking it and it just made me gag even more. there was a point when it felt like i needed to throw up.. so then i tried just sucking it without tongue and that was ok but he wasn't too crazy about it. so any advice on how i can get past the gagging? we tried putting a condom on him but it just tasted like latex :/ blech.
please help!!!!
thank you!!!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
If your doing all of this to make the relationship work, then you are doing this for all the wrong reasons. Relationships need to be built on love, respect, trust and open communication. Sex is meant to deepen the relationship, not the basis for it. It may be time for you to evaluate where your relationship is and where you would like it to go. If this is the only real problem in the relationship, then you may want to examine why you feel that you need to do this in your sexual relationship in order to keep him happy. It's normal to feel some insecurities in a relationship and this is where you need to communicate with your boyfriend about this.
Ok, now for the sex advice. Some men prefer oral sex over intercourse and when the partner isn't to into it this could create a problem. This is where compromise and imagination comes into play.
It's possible to limit the oral sex by getting him involved in other things, such as creative foreplay or getting him excited to try out a new position you just read about. One thing my husband likes is to be teased. Place a blindfold on him and gently tie his hands behind his head. Not tight to where it hurts or freaks him out. Rub some oil onto your hands and gently touch him in different areas of his body. The anticipation will get him very excited. Spend some quality time doing this and take your time reaching his sensative spots. When you notice him responding, you can start moving up and down the inner thigh and slowly make your way to his manhood. You will notice when he is ready, slide yourself on top of him and remove the blindfold. This usually works like a charm and no oral sex needed. If you want to give him a little extra treat, you can use whipped cream or chocolate syrup and spend a few minuted down there before you get on top of him. It's a matter of being creative and compromise.
For you, the very top of the clitorous can be overly sensative and may not feel good if he is licking that area. Try to move his mouth down further and have him suck lightly. This should take away the oversensativity to where you can enjoy it. Being able to make a woman cum from oral sex makes the man feel more like a man. If he is unable to please you, move him off of you in a way that makes him feel that you are so turned on that all you want to do is pounce on him. This may save some hurt feelings and ego. Another option is food items or cherry flavored lotions. Grinding into him will also help. If none of this works, sit on top of him and move back and fourth. When he is licking you, slightly lean back. This should help you find your "feel good spot"
I hope this helps and best of luck to you.
]
well are you physically attracted to ur boyfriendd?
or try thinking about what turns you on. honestly, whether its watching 'porn' before hand than do it...or 'playing' with yourself. personally i do not do either but for some of my friends it works for them.
]
Are you really attracted to your boyfriend? And are you comfortable around him and telling him what you want and don't want?
The attraction part cannot be fixed. If kissing him isn't fun or arousing, you're not going to like doing anything else. You don't reference any of this, so I'm offering it as a possibility. You can't communicate your way into good sex if there's no attraction.
The communication question is important, though. If you're attracted to him, letting him know your concerns and feelings about what you want and don't want is vital. If you gag while giving head, then try using your fist to grip the penis at the base and just use your mouth near the head.
If you're nauseated by his penis that it's triggering your gag reflex, ask yourself why. Taste? Make him shower first, maybe use chocolate sauce. Also, there's no rule saying you have to taste his semen. Have him warn you before he ejaculates. If you simply don't like his penis and it gags you to be near it so intimately, you may just not be attracted to him.
As for receiving oral, either he's not doing it right and you need to tell him what you want (and he needs to listen!) or perhaps you just don't enjoy oral. It happens. I'd try better communication first-- also a lot of foreplay prior to it starting. A man shouldn't just dive in there cold. If that's what he's doing, no wonder it feels weird.
]
My advice on sex has always been and always will be that sex is a beautiful thing between two consenting adults. Nothing is weired or strange as long as both parties consent to whatever it is they want to do.
While you may have consented to oral sex you are not comfortable giving it and receiving it does not turn you on. Okay; there is really nothing wrong here that time and practice can't fix. Oral sex is a great form of foreplay and a great alternative to intercourse as is mutual masturbation. The problem here is one of comfort for you.
How do we fix this. First you and your boyfriend have to communicate better. He has to understand you are not comfortable with giving or receiving oral sex. Practice of course will make it better, but first you both need to know the proper way to start, then experiment with to find what each of you like and dislike.
As for you giving him oral: Nothing says you have to let him cum in your mouth. You will know when he is ready to cum. Just before he shoots take your mouth off his penis and finish him with a hand-job.
The taste of cum changes somewhat based on what he eats. My wife and I have found what foods make my cum bitter. When we have sex after having these foods and she decides she wants me to climax during our foreplay she will finish a blowjob with a hand-job. She likes to this sometimes just to see how far she can make me shoot. Frankly when we get to that point I really don't care if I cum in her mouth, her hand, or her vagina; just as long as I cum. I think your boyfriend will feel the same way.
As for receiving oral sex: This is where communication really comes in. The greatest thing about sex is two lovers exploring and learning about each others bodies, likes and dislikes. This is where you have to teach your boyfriend about your body. What you like and don't like. How to touch you, how to lick you, should he put his fingers in you or his tongue.
My wife has a very pretty nose and when we first met it was one of the things about her that turned me on. It was also a big turn off for her sexually. Until she told me I loved to kiss and lick it as part of our foreplay. I thought her shaking her head was because it tickled and since I also liked to tickle her I continued.
Communication is the key to any successful relationship. This includes a sexual relationship and is a very important part of that relationship.
]
I'm guessing that you don't enjoy it because you're not very relaxed and he's not really good at it. Plus you need to be a little more turned on before he just goes down on you. If you have more foreplay, it may help out. Try kissing a little longer, more touching, caressing and have him lick a little harder and slower when he's down there. Don't have him lick on your clit the whole time as it will become irritated. Let him finger you while he's licking as that tends to feel better. I understand about not liking the taste of cum but I've found that every man has a different taste, so don't give up hope all together. I like to kneel in front of him and use both hands. I use one to caress his testicles and the other to jerk him off while I'm sucking. So when your mouth goes up and down, use your hand to cover the rest of his penis. That way you don't have to go so far down with your mouth. I would recommend eating a few york peppermint patties or some other type of mint before you suck him. Then when he's ready to cum, let him cum in your mouth but let it run down the side of his penis and you don't have to swallow any. The mint will help with the taste but I would suggest going to the bathroom right afterward and rinsing with mouthwash. He won't mind what you do after because you will have just given a great orgasm. If you have any other questions, please feel free to ask. I hope this helps and good luck.
]
More Questions: |