I sorta like this guy who's a close friend, but he has a girlfriend. She's not exactly a friend but she's also more then an acquaintance. Is it worng that I like him? and wanna be more then friends? Of course I could never do anything until he and her break up, but I just wanna know if what im feeling is wrong? Im 15/f and he is 16
Can anyone really control who they fall in love with? the simple answer is no, but it's not the feelings that are wrong, it's what we do with those emotions and whether we act upon them the right way or the wrong way. It's very honorable for you to hold off on pursuing anything until he is available and this will help build a deeper friendship and respect with the man you love, so if there is a time where you can be more than friends, then the foundation is already set for a wonderful relationship. Good luck,honey.
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Okay, I stopped attending my church because my favorite pastor was let go, he now runs a church out of his home on Sunday nights, what they call an "organic church." I love it. Now, there are a lot of people there that are older than me and more experienced in their walks with Christ. They are so on fire for Jesus and bringing up incredible topics and stories from the bible and all of the teenagers there hardly ever speak because we are so inexperienced. I want to be on fire like the rest of the group, I don't want to be it for them, I want to be on fire for Christ for me. It will help me to better understand the discussions, it will help me to interact more with the people in the group and if I know what to say and what to talk about, I won't feel so stupid to be speaking. My question is, how do I go about being this? Should I get a devotions book or memorize random verses or just read the bible in general? I know I'm a good person and I love Jesus with all my heart but I want to be the one next week to be speaking and raising my voice over the talk of everyone else because I have something incredible to add. Any help is appreciated. Thanks so much, God Bless
Honey, the reason why they are so on fire for Jesus is not the versus the memorize, or the stories they know,the reason why they know these things is because of their relationship with Christ. With any relationship there will be up's and down's, but love and passion must come from the heart, not from a book or from a person, it comes from within yourself. Here is what I would suggest, spend some time in prayer and talk to Jesus about anything and everything. It dousn't have to be anything formal, you don't have to be on hands and knees or in a private area with your eyes closed. If you are taking a walk outside and you gaze up to the sky, thank him for such a beautiful moment or whatever is on your heart at the moment. Spend some time listening to Christ and learn what he has to teach you. Follow your heart and he will lead you where you are supposed to go.
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A friend recently bought me a voodoo doll from New Orleans. I live in New Zealand. How do I safely get rid of it? I don't want to throw it in the bin incase something bad happens. I was thinking of just putting it in the post and sending it somewhere but I am scared of something happening too. What should I do? Please help.
The problem with Voo Doo dolls is that when they are made the person making them will often "enchant" the doll and unless it specifically say's what type of magick they empowered it with it's really luck of the draw. Many people down in that region who create and/or sell voo doo dolls often practice a branch off of Voo Doo called Hoo Doo, which uses many of the same practices but without the religious or spiritual aspects of the religion. Many do feel that grey or black magick is acceptable and does not cross the boundaries of white or black magick. Whether or not you believe in magick or spells is irrelevant, because it is the intention of focused energy of the practitioner that enchants the doll, not you. Not all dolls are enchanted for bad or evil things, but because you do not know the practitioner, it's better to be safe then sorry. A couple of things you can do, you could try and contact a local Wiccan or Voo-Doo Priest to "de enchant " the doll for you, basically stripping any and all magic from it, which basically takes away it's life or intention and then keep it as a suvinior. You can also ask your friend to go back to the place where they bought it and find out a little bit more about the dolls, and their beliefs on magick are and what they enchant the dolls with or you can take the doll to an isolated area and bury it. after the doll is buried/ covered, sprinkle sea salt around the hole. Make sure the circle completely surrounds the hole and that there isn't a break in the circle. Then pour holy water on top of the hole in the shape of whatever symbol you use for your spirituality that would represent a blessing , i.e., for Wicca would probably be the pentacle, for christian a cross or dove, ect. If you choose to send it back to your friend, place the doll in a box and again do the same as if you were burying it. Magic may not be real to most people, but it is real to the practitioner and it is their energy that will determine the actions of the doll. I hope this helps.
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How can I break free of traditions that my family are holding me to? They will not allow me to get married!?
I am 20 years old and was raised in the U.S, as is my wonderful boyfriend of two years. While my family is of middle-eastern decent, my boyfriend is not. I was always expected to be in an arranged marriage to a middle eastern man of my parents' choosing, however my boyfriend (who is of the same religion as me and very respectable) changed those plans. I have never wanted an arranged marriage, but to be married to someone who truly makes me happy, and he is exactly that. The problem is that we have been in a long-distance relationship for two years now, (we live in bordering states) and it is getting to be very difficult on the both of us to wait around for my father's permission. My boyfriend and I know eachother very well and love eachother greatly, and have our plans for our future figured out already. (Let me also add that I am not pregnant, and that anything of that nature is not the reason we are so anxious to start our lives together, but because we are simply ready to and know we want a future together). Because of my culture, it is customary for the daughters of the famiily to live with their parents until they are married. I have a part time job and am working toward a bachelor's degree, while my boyfriend will be completing his degree in the spring of next year. However, my family makes this very difficult on us both because they do not allow me to drive up and see him, they do not allow him to see me more than a few times during the year, and they refuse to acknowledge that this long-distance is getting very difficult and that we need to live our own lives. Since I am still in school and only have a part-time job, I find it impossible for me to support myself on my own completely, and the fact that my parents both choose to look at me as though I am a child upsets me even further because they do not take me seriously. My culture is very particular with the order of marriage proposals and relationships, and my parents refuse to let us be together until they meet his family, who are wonderful, yet they continue to make promises that they will visit them and then continually break those promises to me and my boyfriend. I feel like I am stuck in this house and just want to break free but I do not know how to get my family to understand that I want to live my own life. I have explained to them many times that I want to be an adult and be on my own and to be able to marry the one person who makes me so happy, yet they continue to see me as a foolish child. Part of me wonders if running away to be with him would be the best option, since reasoning has led me nowhere and i have a car of my own and some money in my savings, however leaving my family would be very hard for to do under such stressful circumstances. Please, if anyone has any advice, I would very greatly appreciate it.
It sounds like you love and respect your parents very much, which is very honorable and say's alot about the beautiful woman they raised, but you are a grown woman now and have to make decisions for your life and your future and part of this will include accepting the fact that your parents may not accept the life you have chosen for yourself. Instead of trying to gain your parents approval, i would let them know of your plans and tell them that you are going to do this with or without their blessing, though you would much rather do it with their blessing. It may take some time to adjust to your plans and they may try to talk you out of it but it's important for you to take control of your life and to follow through with the things you want for your life. Above all else, your parents love you and when they see that their little girl is being taken care of, this will open the door for change, not only for you but for your children as well. You need to set some boundaries with them. This may require you to move out and seperate from them for awhile but try talking to them first about your plans and see if there may be some room for compromise or at least healing the relationship.
I wish you the best of luck, hun.
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So I am 20 years old, and on my parents' health insurance. I went to get tested for STD's at my university's health center, as I am sexually active. How it works is the university sends you the bill, which you are supposed to make a copy of. One copy you send to the university with your payment, and the other you send to your insurance so they can reimburse you.
My problem is that before I always sent it to my mom, and she took care of everything for me. But my bill clearly states that I have gotten tested for HIV, Chlamydia, etc, etc. I don't want my mom seeing this. I discussed with her today how to pay bills with the insurance and stuff, and she told me I need a password in order to send the bill to insurance. She won't really give it to me because she is now extremely suspicious that something is going on. What do I do? For this bill I guess I can just pay it without insurance, its not too expensive, but what if something else like this happens again? I want my health stuff to be kept private from the rest of my family. Is there anything I can do?
Thank you
I would go to the university where you got tested and explain to them that you are on your mom's health insurance but do not want to her to have all of your personal information given to her such as the test's you received. if they can have them send a bill that will not reflect the services given, which will allow you tell your mom whatever you want. If it dous not work and they refuse to do this then talk to your mom and let her know that you appreciate her for allowing you to be on her insurance, but you would like to take on the responsibility of submitting your own medical claims, since later on you will have to do this anyway's when you get your own insurance, and ask her to give you the information you need to submit these things. It may be to late for the series of tests that were already given but if she ask's why you had them, let her know that some of these STD's can be contradicted in many different way's and that it is always better to be safe then sorry. Educate her on how some of these dieases are contracted aside from sexual contact and explain that the tests are a series of tests that are done together and that it would cost more for individual tests to be conducted so you opted to just he have the entire screening done. If you are in the medical field, you would need to get these things done anyway's.
The last option is to contact the insurance company that your mom uses. Ask them to give you your own card and password and ask them how you can sumbit your medical claims. Also ask them what you asked us and voice your concerns about confidentiality and see what they can do for you. I hope this helps.
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I was sick for a month and a half with a herpes virus on my tongue, and couldn't eat, talk or walk. it's taken me another month to heal and all i have been doing is lying around in my house waiting to be healthy again basically. I feel so unmotivated and find myself crying all the time. It's so hard for me to be positive sometimes and i really, really want to gain my weight back, but i have noo appetite. If anyone has any words of advice on health, or has been through anything remotely like this before please feel free to help me on anything.
thank you so much
It sounds like you are suffering from depression which can be a serious issue.I am not a doctor and you would need a doctor to properly diagnosis this, however this is simply an impression that I am recievinHowever, you energy spent alot of energy fighting off the virus and your body "crashed and burned" is how I usually refer it to. This means that it depleted it's energy levels and now this is kind of a rest period to regain your energy again. Depression if often a part of this phase in healing. What often works if to give your body a "signal" that it's time to wake back up again, and a good way to do this is to start becoming more active. You don't want to push yourself to hard at this point, but taking extra walks, listening to upbeat music that makes you feel good and getting some fresh air everyday is a good way to start. Open your blinds, go out with a friend you haven't seen in awhile for lunch are things that will begin to uplift the soul and release some of the "feel good" endorphones in your brain. Do a little more each day until you are back the where you should. It may be a struggle sometimes as you may not be motivated to do it, and listen to your body and it's needs. If it's a pattern you may have to push yourself a little. But these are suggestions only AFTER you have gotten the ok from your doctor and that you are physically capable of doing these things. I hope this helps and hope that your road to recovery will be a smoothe and east journey for you. Take care
Angel
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Hey guys. I really need someone to talk to and I have no one. I don't even have one person. So, I hope that maybe someone out there will here my cry and give me the advice I need. I appreciate first of all that you are reading this. But, I really need practical advice. Not just someone telling me to talk to my mom or something like that. Because obviously, I wouldn't be at this point if I didn't "talk" to her. I have sat her down and talked to her about this. But, my mom doesn't listen. Not only does she not listen, but you never know what kind of mood she's in. She may say ok and the next day she goes and does it again.
First of all I'm 20/female. I live with my mom and my grandparents. My mom and I have good and bad days like any other family. Sometimes we fight. Other times we're friends. But, it's gotten to a point where I've lost all my energy and I think I'm starting to get sick over it. About two years ago, I suffered with anorexia and bullemia because of the stress. Now, I feel like I just get sick all the time because my immune system is suffering.
My mom has been a very "obsessive" person from the time I was very young. When, I got into my teens it became a problem. She was overprotective but not in the sense that she wouldn't let me do anything. She would let me go out, but back then when there was myspace, she would go into mine, read my messages, check my e-mails. She had all my passwords and if I changed them, she would throw a TANTRUM. You may think I'm kidding, but I'm talking about the tantrum of a small child. Like crying. So, I would have to give her the passwords. If I didn't, she would threaten never to speak to me again. She would sit beside me when I was on Instant Messenger and tell me what to tell people. I had absolutely NO secrets from her. Like, not even a secret a friend told me would be a secret from her. She would find out. It made me really upset but I thought it was a small price to pay since she would let me go out and stuff. There are some kids whose parents don't. So, I thought I was lucky in that sense. I knew I had freedom I only craved a TINY piece of privacy, like having my own private e-mail account. But, like I said. I thought it was a small price to pay.
So, fast-forward. When it was time to apply for college, she really wanted to me stay here. She didn't want me to leave. At this point, I was just starting to get over anorexia and bullemia and I felt like I needed her and like I needed my family nucleus. But, I may have been wrong. The day after graduation, I was contemplating just doing summer here where I live and transferring in the Fall to a university in the state but outside my city. The day after I graduated, my mom dropped a major bomb: I'm adopted. I don't think after I heard that news, I was ever the same again. She didn't sit me down and talk to me. She didn't take my hand and say that she decided to adopt a baby. This is how it happened. I was crying because I was really upset about the school situation. I was crying hysterically too because the night before I had a fight with her. I was mad for a variety of reasons. But, I went to a very small school. 75 people in my graduating class, all girls school. These were the richest people in my city. I wasn't rich, but I've always been content. However, everyone in my class drove to school senior year. I was the ONLY senior who didn't drive because my mom was too afraid to let me drive. I just wasn't where I wanted to be in life and I was so angry at her because of the night before. So, she woke up really upset and so did I. She pretty much told me while we were fighting that she wasn't my mother and that my dad wasn't my father and that his kids really were and those are the kids he lives with. Every time I think about being adopted, it's really hard to think of it as this loving, beautiful thing, which it is. But, because i found out that way, I associate it with fighting and people leaving and it's just something I'm not comfortable with.
The day of my orientation, I couldn't even sleep over at the dorms (which some students due at orientation so they don't have to drive back the next day), and I couldn't stay there. I went into this really big depression. They were talking about fraternities and sororities and all the clubs offered and I was nowhere near listening. My mind was elsewhere. The same day of orientation, my biological mother had e-mailed me back. That same day, I had a relapse and went back to my eating disorder until February of last year.
I can only imagine how much better I would have done in school, all the things I would have joined, all the friends I would have made, if I wouldn't have found out that way on that day. I know there's never a right time but there is a right way. And it's not shouting at someone and telling them in an argument. If she had held that secret in her for 18 years, in all types of circumstances, why now?? She claimed that the reason she spied on me all those years was so that someone would not tell me. She wanted to delete the myspace message before someone sent me a message saying that i was adopted. There were people in my school who knew because they knew people in my family. I swear I had no idea before that day. I look like my parents. I'm their daughter. But, I'm so upset because they don't understand what I'm going through and they don't want to understand.
All my mom does is fight with me. She makes a mess out of my room and has no respect for the fact that I just need my own little space to study. She really doesn't care. I have talked to her about it before, but she continues to throw things around my room, on my desk, etc. She doesn't log into my facebook account anymore, but she got her own. I made the mistake of telling her who the guy that I like is, and she looks at his facebook day and night. That's not about protecting me anymore. It's about being a nuisance. I'm TWENTY! I'm not trying to say I know everything about the world. I know I'm young. But, I think I'm past the stage where my mother has to spy on me to get information about me. If she wanted to know more about my life, she could start gaining my trust and i would tell her.
Even when I have friends or go out with new friends, she ALWAYS has something bad to say about them. It's more like she wants to be my only friend. I don't know what it is. But, talking hasn't helped and I've lost all sense of how to take care of this situation.
Help!
xoxo
I'm sorry that you have to go through all of this. There seems to be alot of issues going on here and most of them sound like they are your mom's. I see a mother who is almost deathly afraid of losing her daughter and who knows she is loosing control so she is acting out in order to maintain that control over you. It sounds like alot like emotional manipulation to get you to stay home. You may want to sit down and talk to her as one adult to another and find out where her fears and anxiety are coming from. this may not be easy to do because most people don't like to admit deeper rooted emotions and situations but it may be beneficial for her to talk about it so she can move forward. .whether or not the talking works you need to set some boundaries with her. It sounds like she wants you to stay home, yet you probebly want to move across the country right now. Tell her that you are willing to stay home while you finish school with the understanding that she needs to respect your privacy and allow you the freedom to be an adult. She will not be willing to let go easily and may throw a fit over it, but if she understands that the other alternative is you leaving and that you are serious about it, she may calm down enough for you and her to work out a compromise on the rules. But you need to set clear boundaries with her and follow through with what you said you would do if she crosses those boundaries, if you plan on staying home for a longer period of time. The other alternative is to make arragngements to move out. Let your mother know your plans, and let her know that you still love her but it's time for you to be out on your own and live your own life. Again, this will probebly make her angry for a time, but once you leave and have shown her that she is not forgotten , over time she will probebly begin to accept the new change. It's important to take control of the situation regardless of how she acts about it and to let go of her control over you. She loves you way to much to disown you or never speak to you again. But you cannot allow the tantrums and fits to control what you feel is best for you. You may want to seek counciling for the eating disorder's. , even if you are not doing it now, it sounds like a coping mechanism that you turn to when you are really stressed out. A councilor can help you work through these emotions and help you find more effective coping mechanism to deal with stress. Once you set the boundaries in your life and feel more in control, you will feel more control over your life and be alot happier for it. I wish you the best of luck.
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Okay so I'm 20. I feel like I can't breathe properly, as if I'm not getting enough oxygen into my lungs which causes me to feel lightheaded and dizzy. I also can't do a full yawn sometimes and like i need to yawn every couple of minutes. It usually takes me 6 or 7 tries to get the satisfaction, its the same as the breathing.
I am a smoker, have been for 6 months BUT I've been having this exact problem since I was 5 years old and the only thing the doctor will do is put that thing to my chest and back and ask me to take deep breaths but I don't have the breathing issue when I'm in the doctors office seeing as i only talk to him for 5 minutes.
Doctor also said It could be anxiety and yes I've had anxiety and depression before but like I said, it's been happening since I was 5. Sometimes when I try to get that oxygen satisfaction after a while, my shoulders hurt near my chest area(like the colar bone area) and i can't take deep breaths again for about 5 minutes.
He hasn't even mentioned the possibility of it being Asthma or anything else besides stress and axiety but that can't be it for the reason i stated above and also because it happens 24/7 every single day even when i'm calm and i'm stress free! Dad thinks I'm crazy too, like it's all in my head, but it's not. I've tried breathing exercises and i walk alot and i drink a lot of water and everything and yeah, since I was 5! and I'm pretty sure i wasn't suffering from anxiety or anything when I was 5 so thats another reason.
Does anyone else have the same problem and if they can help? I feel like i'm about to faint or worse, die!
Only a doctor can give you a diagnosis and properly evaluate you, but it sounds like you are suffering from panic attacks. I've had panic attacks since I was a child to. Some people say that it is caused by intence fears, but I have noticed that panic attacks often go hand and hand and feel that they may share the same neurotransmitter's in the brain. You have brain cells in your brain that send of signals per se to other parts of the body. If these transmitters are low it often causes depression, but I feel that they may also effect the part of the brain that effects your "fight or flight" responces. Again, i'm not a doctor but realized that when I was having panic attacks, I would get really depressed. The more depressed I got. the worse the panic attacks became. It's important to get panic attacks treated because it can be quite disabeling and over time could cause you to develope phobias. Because of the severity of panick attacks, people usually become of afraid of having more panic attacks, which in turn may bring the onset of another panic attack. Most panic attacks are usually treated with either anti-anxiety medication such as ativan or xanax. Most doctors will usually try and steer away from these because they can become addictive and other alternatives are usually SSRI anti-depressents, such as Paxil or Prozac and counciling. The trick that really helped me was to take one day at a time, i wrote in a journal daily about all the things I was feeling and I set small goals every day. The biggest thing was overcoming the fear of panic attacks and learning to ignore them when I felt an onset as opposed to allowing it to consume me. After months of having them and realizing i wasn't dead yet, i learned to not be afraid of them anymore. This will be your biggest step and probebly the most helpful step in overcoming panic attacks. You may also want to excercise, walk or stay active and keep your mind focused on other activites. Councing will help you figure out what is triggering them. You may want to change up your diet a little bit, especially if you are consuming alot of coffee and/or sugar. These things may make you feel your nerves are on edge and overwhelm you. Taking some time to also try breathing techniques or even meditation to help you learn to relax when you feel over stimulated or anxious can also help calm your nerves and clear your mind so you feel more grounded and focused. Stay positive and try to surround yourself with positive people and environments. This may help lift the depressions and increase the neurotransmitters or "feel good" stuff in your brain. Breaking the cycle with panic attacks is easier when you can lift alot of the depression. It's a lot of hard work, but soon it will be worth it and you can have your life back again. Again, I'm not a doctor and only a doctor can diagnose this, but if this is what you have, hopefully this will be helpful to help you work through this and start living the life you want for yourself. I wish you the best of luck.
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What do you think is the minimal age that you can wear perfume? being in high school and being hit in the face with smells of BO and AXE spray is horrible, but I'm almost 18 and I'm not really upping my age at all (I don't keep up witht he laest fashion, heels aren't ym thing). I kind of thought that a perfume would be nice and could be discrete if it's a faint smell.
I'm not a fan of like really noticable ones but there was this article I found of new perfumes that someone using perfume for the first time would try since it can hlep you with even weight loss, etc. I was kind of concerned because the same perfue could smell different depending on the person's own body but these ones kind of stabalize things.
My list includes:
Tsi-La Misaki
Pacifica Mediterranean Flag
Giorgio Armani Acqua di Gioia
Dawn Spencer Hurwitz
C.O. Bigelow Lemon Eau de Parfum
Harvey Prince Eau de Lite
What is your opinion? And have you used any of these?
I haven't used any of these products, but some of them are more popular scents and could get kind of pricey. If you are looking for a lighter scent, body sprays that have more of a flower scent is nice. I use a perfume called "cherry vanilla" and then use a vanilla body spray over it to give it a more lighter vanilla scent with a hint of cherry. My husband loves it and I have gotten alot of compliments on it. And the best part is that you can get the perfume at walmart for under $10.00 and the body spray for around $5.00 at walmart as well. Another alternative is a perfume called Vanilla Fields, which dous have more of a perfume smell but not as strong as many of your musks. It's really all about personal choice in which scent you prefer. Another option is to go to your local department store and ask to "test" different scents and perfumes. This will give you a better idea what you will like. If one really stands out, ask them to spray some on you. Wait about 5 minutes and then you will have a better idea of how it will smell after it has evaporated a little bit. you can also take your friends and make a day out of it, what better than to get some honest opinions while your having fun? Godd luck, hun :)
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When I woke up today....iCouldnt move nor could i really speak...And after I had an image in my head vanish I was again able to move,So What is this called and should I be alarmed ?
I am not a doctor and only a doctor can accuratly diagnose this, however, it dous sound similiar to a condition called Sleep Paralysis. According to WEBMD this is not a serious condition and can be common, however, if you are concenned or this seems to be a regular thing for you , you defeintly want to see a doctor who can refer you to a specialist in case there is something else that is going on in your body. I will leave you the link.It shouldn't be used for self diagnosis but simply used for informational purposes. On a more personal note, i had this happen to me once when I was 12. I remember waking about and cousln't move or even talk for about 5 minutes. I really freaked me out but it never happend again. When the internet came out, i was able to research this condition a little bit which has helped put me at ease. I hope this will be helpful to you as well.
http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/guide/sleep-paralysis
I hope this helps!
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Please, help me! My 16 boy is very thin. He had a few friends and they were not good for him. Anyway, I thought he'd see it in time. Well, one of them came and fought him at my house and one videoed it. It got online and the teasing got worse. My son said if I do something it will get worse. Fast forward to today, my son has these boys picking on him at school and coming to my house in a group to fight. Luckily, he wasn't home but the boys saw me and told me they wanted to chill with him. HELP I want to beat the shit out of all of them.
As a mother myself, I understand where you are coming from. This type of behavior is not only unacceptable, but it is also illegal. The first thing I would suggest is to go to the school and speak to the principle about how they deal with hazing and bullying. The principle needs to be aware of this and most likely the police will be involved. The difficult part about this is the possibility of retaliation from other peers at school, however someone needs to be notified. Chances are there are other kids in his school that they are bullying as well, by taking a stance there is a better chance of getting this issue resolved and could possibly prevent a more severe crime from happening. If the harassment continues, call 911 and file charges against them. Your son may also need counciling or may need to be placed in another school, which could be difficult this late in the school year, but with a situation as you described, they may be able to work something out. Another option is having him homeschooled for a time. There is a great program that is a virtual school and many states do have programs for high schoolers called Connections Academy. Here is the link http://www.connectionsacademy.com/home.aspx. You will need to click on the link for your state to see for sure if this would be an option for you.
There is no cost unless you are out of the United States. I am also including a couple of links that may be helpful in understanding bullying and may be able to help you with more resources in your area.
http://www.ncvc.org/tvp/main.aspx?dbName=Bullying
http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/bullies.html
http://teachers.net/gazette/FEB09/noll/
Please note that I am not an affiliate to any of these links, nor am I getting paid to supply them. I hope this information will be helpful to you and your son.
But i do feel that the first step would be to contact the school and then the police department. It may also be a good idea to make arragements for him to go to a relatives house after school or an after school activity that will get him involved with other kids while allowing him to escape the confrontation without losing face to his peers. Also do some research on different sites and maybe join a few forums that will allow you to gain the supportand possibly some more advice from other parents who are dealing with the same issue. I wish you and your son the best of luck. He's a lucky young man to have a mama who cares so much :)
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older dog peeing in house at 3
If this is something that began recently, I would highly suggest taking the dog to the vet. This could be a sign of a UTI (urinary tract infection) or some other medical issues that need to be addressed. A vet will be able to properly diagnosis the dog and should be able to trat the dog or give you the best alternatives available. I hope this helps and your furry friend feels better soon
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I want to rephrase my questiong because no one in understanding it. I am married. My husband has a son who lives with my husbands parents. My husband was young and unable to care for him now his parents dont want him to live with us (they think and even have him call them mom and dad) I have a son and we have a daughter together. I am thinking my step son is jealous some how and a little more. When we all get together (normally at my inlaws house) he is very "abusive" towards my kids purposely makes them mad yelling at them, example call my son to go play on the swings with him and then start spinnig with his legs out to purposly hitting him. There are many more examples some worse then the first. I have tried asking my mother in law about putting the boys in therepy or counsling together and she refuses there is anything wrong. my son is 4 and my step son is 7. No matter what I do its as soon as we get out of the car he starts with his attitude and being very rude. so as of right now we limit contact with them which we do not enjoy but we dont know what else to do.
I wanted to apologize for the misunderstanding and thank you for clarifying this issue. I am not usually so impulsive but when there are issues regarding child abuse, it really upsets me. however, i am only human and i am admitting it was the wrong way to respond. I hope you can except my apology because I'd like to try and help.The first problem I am noticing is that your husband had a child at a young age and was unable to care for the child at that time, as a mother of having a child at the age of 17 myself, i can understand hard hard it is to raise a child at that age. It sounds like, at some point there was an aggreement that his parents would raise the child, for at least a time, but now that they have raised him for so long, it sounds like they are not willing to allow your husband to have the child back. There is alot of emotional attachments and possible hard feelings between both your husband and his parents since it sounds like you and your husband would like to have the opportunity to have him back and raise him with your family. Part of the child's behavior may be due to the conflict between your husband and his parents. I feel the first step will have to be getting the in-laws to allow your husband to reeneter his son's life as a parental role and to be willing to allow him to reestablish the connection between father and son and them to be willing to allow this to happen without hindering the process. The most difficult part about this is the emotional connection between everyone. I feel that the first steps to healing these relationships may have to be between your husband and his in-laws, and it may be your role to try and mediate and initate this process. But counceling for them all would probebly be the best first step. If this issue can be handled and the communication is open again, then they may be willing for you and him to have custody without alot of court costs and more emotional turmoil. The second steo, i would advise is for your husband to spend some time withthe child alone, if he isn't already, so he can bond with his son on a more deeper level and may help the child's anxiety and reaffirm his place in the family and in your husband's life. As for your children all together, you can either wait and not have the children have contact with each other for awhile until some of the other issues are resolved or healed or there will have to be an agreement between all parties on how to handle his aggressive behavior when he acts out. Though siblings will fight, it should still not be acceptable and your in-laws should and need to be in aggreememnt with this. Again, this is the first step and probebly the hardest step. If you have a good repore with the in-laws, then maybe all of you can sit down and explain what you and your husband would like to have happen and the reason's why and reaaffirm his appreciation to his parents about helping him when he needed it and to let them know that you are not trying to take the child out of their lives, but merely createing the family the way it should be. I would try this first. If this dous not work, i have no other advice at this time, but i will try and do some research on the internet to see if i can find some resources for you and your family. I hope this is helpful and i wish you the best of luck, but i do feel that if he and his parents can find a common ground in all of this, it will pave the way for a positive change and may help with his son's emotions. Children at the age of 7 may have a difficult time understanding and may be impulsive when things begin to change and he may not even understand what he is feeling or why, but over with love, boundaries and possible counciling, i think things will begin to flow as you would like it to and the relationship can heal, to include the one's between his son's and yours.
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Please try and show it then. This was full of hate:
"You don't need a lawyer,all you need is a restraining order! or better yet, get on the phone now and call 911! This is child abuse and if you are aware of him abusing the children and you are not doing anything about other than crying to us about how you love him, then you are just as guilty as he is!You might as well take the damn stick and start beating them with it yourself. If you care about your kids half as much as you claim, you'll have his ass arrested and get him the hell out of your lives. Grow a pair and get this taken care of now!!
This is responce to your feedback:
Then you should learn how to write because the way I read it , it made it sound like your husband was abusing the kids, and why would you want to have custody of an abusive kid anyways? why put your kids through this? You don't need advice, you need a shrink!"
Please make a small effort to be nice to people here. If you didn't like the feedback, file an abuse report. If she files an abuse report on you, your account will probably be closed.
yep
I understand what you are saying and appreciate your feedback, but i have to disagree with the fact that it was full of hate. Maybe a little to straight forward for many people's liking or a bit to passionate,and if it was offensive, i apologize. I can go into what she said and my responce back, however it really is irrelevent. The real issue is the fact the her children are being abused, which, on a personal note is a real sore spot for me because I used to work in a shelter for abused children. When you are caring for a child who has a fractured skull at the age of 18 months, or a 2 year who was running and playing a year prior and now is completely paralysed and non-responsive due to shakin' baby syndrome as the mother stood by and watched it happend, who's fault is it really? who commits the bigger sin, the person who did it or the person who stood by and watched it happen and did nothing to intervene. Though the abuser is 7 years old, which i didn't understand until after the first responce she made, she still wants to have custody of the child who is abusing her children. Though i believe that her intentions are pure and she probebly feels that they can get the child the help he needs and the grandparents are not fulfilling his needs, there is still the issue of where she is spending less time with him because of his abusive nature, she is still concerned because he is abusing the smaller siblings, and that the first priority needs to be focused on her own children's safty. If her husband feels the need to step in because this is his child, then they may need to get some help from a professional for a better plan of action. But the fact remains, if a child is in an abusive situation, the first priority should be placed on keeping the abused child, or this case children safe. There are other means to get the other child help to include calling CPS or even discussing this matter with the school psychologist who can make observations and get involved.If it is reported, she may not even need to get a lawyer and the county may pick up the tab. If a person chooses to not get involved for the matter of keeping the peace in the family, then they are no different than the abuser. Most of the children i worked with came from families in a similiar situation, and noone ever believes that it will ever get that far until it actually happens. But it dous, it is a serious matter, and the first priority needs to placed on the safty of the two smaller children.
again, i apologize if i came off rude to anyone of our reader's. .i hope that this woman will be able to get the help she needs and i hope that the choices made will be beneficial to all of the children. But abuse should not be acceptable no matter what the circumstance is or how young or old the offender.
Best of luck to the family.
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well i'm 17 years old and i'm a 26A i have been the same size since i was 12 years old and i haven't grown yet i was wondering weather my boobs will grow or they will stay this size forever
Honey, let a woman tell you like it is. Women's breast will normal "fill out" when they begin having children. Seriously, i started off as an A and after my first child a C , so whether you are entering or exiting puberty, it dousn't matter, as soon as you begin having children this will change your entire hormonal system and you should see some positive changes in this area. If you decide not to have children, you can talk to your doctor about certain types of birth control, hormones, or consider implants. So don't be discouraged there is plenty of hope yet:)
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a guy just texted me asking me to prom and i dont know if anybody else will... But the thing is that this guy has kind of a stuttering prob, which isnt bad but my friends just kinda laughed and are like "well do you want to go?" And i dont really know. I want to go to prom, i really do!
But this is so complicated because people are gonna be talking and my friends will just laugh at me and i just feel bad.. i dont want to say no.
He isnt like "weird" he plays sports and has friends and stuff but still... idk. My OWN friends are kind of iffy about it.. HELP!
My husband also stutters and has since he was a kid, yet he is the best thing that has ever happend to me.He's the type of guy that every girl dreams about. If you really want my advice...get a clue. If your only problem with this kid is that you are worried what your friends will say or will laugh at you, then you don't deserve to go with him. He'd be better off asking someone else and you can go to the prom with your cousin.
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I have a 4 year old and a 7 year old step son. My in laws live in 3 houses on the same land. So all our holidays have been out there etc its just easier. Well My step son is mean and my mother inlaw wont get him any help. His mother hasnt wanted anything to do with him in a long time years. My husband was 17 was he was born and unable to raise him. So my inlaws have full gaurdian ship of him. I would like to take them to court and raise him our self which could cause alot of problems but unable to have the money to get a lawyer right now. I cant leave either of my kids alone with i have caught him shaking my 1 year old daughter hurting my son punching him. hitting intenially hurting him yelling at him telling his he cant stay the night but your sister can. i mean this is constant as soon as my son gets out of the car hes on his case. its hard to talk to my husband about his son i feel like i hate him even though id do anything for him. hes just so awful to my kids. i dont want to go to there house we are down to going out there 1 time a week. sometimes less.
You don't need a lawyer,all you need is a restraining order! or better yet, get on the phone now and call 911! This is child abuse and if you are aware of him abusing the children and you are not doing anything about other than crying to us about how you love him, then you are just as guilty as he is!You might as well take the damn stick and start beating them with it yourself. If you care about your kids half as much as you claim, you'll have his ass arrested and get him the hell out of your lives. Grow a pair and get this taken care of now!!
This is responce to your feedback:
Then you should learn how to write because the way I read it , it made it sound like your husband was abusing the kids, and why would you want to have custody of an abusive kid anyways? why put your kids through this? You don't need advice, you need a shrink!
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this site is typical right wing bunkum. people come to these sites for quick an relatively painless ways of committing suicide, not to be told "no, don't do it, u have so much to live for!!!!!!!!!!" Believe me, most of us have already thought through the alternatives, been to numerous councellors, tried antidepressants etc. these treatments just don't work for everyone. Just offer practical solutions for those who have made the moral right to choose to end their lives, or shut the hell up and stay off this forum!!!!!!!!!!!!
First off, I'd like to say that noone in their right mind will tell you how to kill yourself. This is for more legal and moral reasons.Seriously,noone is going to sit in prison for the next 20 years because they gave you a fool proof way to kill yourself and you decided to act upon it. That's not "do-gooders" that's CYA. Second, if you ask the general public for advice, then you will get advice according to the columnists beliefs and morals. Basically, when you ask a stupid question, you will get a stupid answer. , Now for this columist stupid answer to your question..I'm sorry that medications and shrinks don't work, but when you get to the bottom of things it all boils down to this.. your own will to live and noone but you can change that. Listen, i understand the arguement of having the right to die, but on the contrary,there is also the right to live, in which case you would be denying that right to the people who are closest to you or even people who you never expected to be effected by it. You can argue that people may be better of without you, but I can tell you first hand it's not true. There will always be people who will care, who will be effected by it and won't get over it. Dous it matter? It should, because these are the people who will always love you even when you don't love them back or when you don't love yourself enough. That should say something. It's kind of scary holding someone else's life and their fate in your own hands, just as they hold your's in theirs. Life is kind of funny like that. Think about the consequences, because that's alot of people's lives your thinking about changing.
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can i give a sdt to myself if i have never had it before?
If you do not have an STD, then you cannot give an STD to yourself, however, if you have noticed you have an STD and you have not been with a partner who could have possibly given it to you, think about some of the activites that you have done recently, such as sitting on a public toilet seat, sharing intimates or toys with another person, or any other contact with someone else's bodily fluids. It is possible to contract certain STD's without sexual contact such as crabs, herpies and HIV. If you are not sure about your symptoms, the best thing to do is to have your doctor run some tests, there may be something else going on or a simple thing such as a yeast infection, which could be caused by going swimming or taking a bath. I hope this helps.
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Last year I admitted to my wife of 3 years that I have been a crossdresser and bi all of my life. I am 31 years old. I also admitted having relations with several men during my life. She took me by surprise when she told me that she is supportive of all of this and wants to be part of it. She likes buying clothes for me and helping to dress me up. Occasionally we go out together as girlfriends. When we are making love she likes me to be dressed in the clothes she picks out for me. She also likes it when I tell her about the sex I have had with men. Recently she has been asking me to go out with her dressed up in search of a guy to pick up so she can watch me have sex with him. I don't have a problem making it with a guy but I am not sure if I should do it in front of my wife. She say's that she want's me to do this for her to help her understand my crossdressing. Is this something I should agree too?
Honey, here's the deal, you dropped a bombshell on your wife last year and she is taking it really, really well. In fact, to well.Most women are typically more emotional than physical and would typically not want to watch their partner with someone else unless it's to control the situation and make sure the other person knows that their territory is already marked and there is no emotional attachment that goes with the sex. Most guys would either be in the dog house or divorced right now, instead your wife is not only being supportive but being pro-active to your needs. However, her extreme acceptance is also telling me that she may have a real concern about where she stands in your life, as well as insecurities she may have regarding the marriage and therefore, overcomponsating for those emotions. The fact that she actually wants to watch you be with another man also tells me that she wants to be a part of everything you do in this matter to make sure that even if you do go outside of the marriage to fulfill your sexual needs, that you will always go back to her to fulfill your emotional needs, hence the explaination above. It may also suggest that she has a strong desire to also be a part of every aspect of your life, because you are married and have entered into a partnership, and this may be the one thing that will destroy the marriage, but by showing her on-going support and devotion may make you either change your ways or at least establish her continued exsistance in your life. Either way, i feel there is alot of insecurity that your wife is feeling.Sometimes actions speak louder than words and even if the partner dousn't say what they feel, they will often show it. My advice is to either sit down with her one on one or with a councilor who can mediate, and discuss how she really feels about you having sex with other people outside of the marriage and why she she feels the need to be there. This will most likely be her biggest concern. Establish your needs and what you expect or desire from her and voice what you feel her role should be in this situation. discuss with her why you are uncomfortable with her being in the same room while you are having sex with someone else and then reassure her of her of her place in your life. Also, analyse why it makes you uncomfortable to have her in there, this may open up some other issues about the marriage that hasn't been addressed yet, such as your need to go outside of the marriage for sexual fulfillment. Then Allow her to voice her concerns and encourage her to open up about you having sex with other people, address her concerns and insecurities and then try to work on a compromise that will meet both of your needs. This may take some time nd work, but could result in a stronger relationship with your wife or a decision to live a life that is more suitable for both you and her. I wish you the best of luck.
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