Last year I admitted to my wife of 3 years that I have been a crossdresser and bi all of my life. I am 31 years old. I also admitted having relations with several men during my life. She took me by surprise when she told me that she is supportive of all of this and wants to be part of it. She likes buying clothes for me and helping to dress me up. Occasionally we go out together as girlfriends. When we are making love she likes me to be dressed in the clothes she picks out for me. She also likes it when I tell her about the sex I have had with men. Recently she has been asking me to go out with her dressed up in search of a guy to pick up so she can watch me have sex with him. I don't have a problem making it with a guy but I am not sure if I should do it in front of my wife. She say's that she want's me to do this for her to help her understand my crossdressing. Is this something I should agree too?
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life? AskAngel answered Wednesday March 23 2011, 2:04 pm: Honey, here's the deal, you dropped a bombshell on your wife last year and she is taking it really, really well. In fact, to well.Most women are typically more emotional than physical and would typically not want to watch their partner with someone else unless it's to control the situation and make sure the other person knows that their territory is already marked and there is no emotional attachment that goes with the sex. Most guys would either be in the dog house or divorced right now, instead your wife is not only being supportive but being pro-active to your needs. However, her extreme acceptance is also telling me that she may have a real concern about where she stands in your life, as well as insecurities she may have regarding the marriage and therefore, overcomponsating for those emotions. The fact that she actually wants to watch you be with another man also tells me that she wants to be a part of everything you do in this matter to make sure that even if you do go outside of the marriage to fulfill your sexual needs, that you will always go back to her to fulfill your emotional needs, hence the explaination above. It may also suggest that she has a strong desire to also be a part of every aspect of your life, because you are married and have entered into a partnership, and this may be the one thing that will destroy the marriage, but by showing her on-going support and devotion may make you either change your ways or at least establish her continued exsistance in your life. Either way, i feel there is alot of insecurity that your wife is feeling.Sometimes actions speak louder than words and even if the partner dousn't say what they feel, they will often show it. My advice is to either sit down with her one on one or with a councilor who can mediate, and discuss how she really feels about you having sex with other people outside of the marriage and why she she feels the need to be there. This will most likely be her biggest concern. Establish your needs and what you expect or desire from her and voice what you feel her role should be in this situation. discuss with her why you are uncomfortable with her being in the same room while you are having sex with someone else and then reassure her of her of her place in your life. Also, analyse why it makes you uncomfortable to have her in there, this may open up some other issues about the marriage that hasn't been addressed yet, such as your need to go outside of the marriage for sexual fulfillment. Then Allow her to voice her concerns and encourage her to open up about you having sex with other people, address her concerns and insecurities and then try to work on a compromise that will meet both of your needs. This may take some time nd work, but could result in a stronger relationship with your wife or a decision to live a life that is more suitable for both you and her. I wish you the best of luck. [ AskAngel's advice column | Ask AskAngel A Question ]
julie75 answered Wednesday March 23 2011, 12:31 pm: It's no different than most men who want to be with two girls. She probably doesn't want to have sex with this guy but it's something that obviously turns her on. If you really want to please your wife, try a little alcohol to loosen you up a little. You do need to face a little fact, that theres a possibility you will want to leave your wife and lead a different lifestyle. I hope this helps and good luck [ julie75's advice column | Ask julie75 A Question ]
adviceman49 answered Wednesday March 23 2011, 9:32 am: Hi, I'm someone who is old enough to be you father and hopefully the wisdom that comes with age will be helpful to you.
Before I offer you my suggestion let me say this. My view on sex is that it must be consensual between both partners. If you feel that you are being pressured to do something to satisfy your wife that is not my definition of consensual. Also understand that anything that happens between two partners (or more) is not weird as long as all involved consent.
I can understand how someone being asked to have sex with a stranger in front of their partner could be outside their comfort zone. For most of us sex is a very private matter to be enjoyed by only two.
A possible solution to this is to ask one of your regular partners if he would consent to allowing you to video tape one of your encounters. It is a lot easier to ignore the camera than it is a person. You can also hide a camera so it is unseen.
If watching you with a male partner is what your wife wants to see this could be the solution. She gets to watch just not be in the room. I would suggest that you rent some gay porn video just to make your wife fully aware of what she will be seen between her husband and some other man before you actually video yourself having sex with another man. [ adviceman49's advice column | Ask adviceman49 A Question ]
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