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am I bisexual or lesbian?
I am a 17 year old girl, I have been in relationships with guys, but I don't know if I have ever been in love with them.. I think, I have been in relationships with girls too. Here is the difference between the two, when I am with a girl, I feel I need to protect them, I never get enough of talking to them, Kissing them makes my heart melt, so on and so forth, When I am with a guy,like I am now, I don't care if they talk to me or not, even if people say he is so hot and can't find myself attrached to them, I almost get disgusted with myself when I kiss him and don't know why, I just don't know what to do, I can't take this confusion. People tell me that I am happier with girls. But I just don't know what to do, ever sience I was little I was attrachted to both guys and girls, as I got older I started having dreams of girls, but then I "fall in love" with a guy, or is it lust? am I bisexual or lesbian?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
It may be a little early to decide if you're a full out lesbian. You may have just been with guys that weren't right for you. I definitely felt more passion when I was with a woman and probably a lot of the same feelings you have. It was like girls just understood more, cared more and just felt better all around. But, I still had feelings for men that never went away. If anyone tells you to choose a side or it's just wrong to be with the same sex, just ignore them and do what makes you feel good. Truth is, you can have your heart broken by a girl just as easily as you can by a boy. So the decision lies in what your heart tells you is right. If you have any other concerns, please feel free to ask me. I hope this helps and good luck.
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I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
I would be hesitant to place a label on your sexuality. At your age both boys and girls are still trying to figure out their sexuality. To label yourself as a Lesbian or even bi-curious would not only be wrong but self defeating at this time. To even put this in the category of a phase that most young people go through would not be right either.
There are a number of reasons for sexual attraction to someone of our own sex at this age. First and foremost is the fact it is safer and easier to relieve the sexual tension brought on by the changing hormones your body is producing. Parents think nothing of two children of the same sex being behind closed doors, sleeping together, even in the same bed, particularly females. Puberty can start much earlier than one may think and can be the reason behind your early feelings for girls.
I have known women that have been bi all through college, then gone straight heterosexual afterwards. Reason it was easier and sex was more available if you were bi; it was also safer.
My advice: Don’t put a label on your sexuality at this time. Just enjoy learning about who you are sexually. When you are older if you still want to put a label on your sexuality then do so, but for now just enjoy being you.
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I'm going to have to disagree with the other individual who opted to give you advice.
Your sexuality, as well as everyone else's, is not something that's set in stone. In fact, it's very mutable, and you're likely to feel many different ways as you get older. There's no one definition that fits all, and you're not going to become content in racking your brain in regards as to what you need to brand yourself with.
Many people who identify as homosexual, also have heterosexual tendencies, and vice versa. You could see yourself marrying a woman, but prefer to be intimate with men, for example. This is why no one can help you pick and choose what you prefer. What sexuality boils down to is a hardwired preference.
You know what you're attracted to, what you desire and what you don't - it's not about fitting into a slot, and even though doing this might bring you some peace of mind, ultimately what you find yourself infatuated with/lusting over, or in love with, can only be defined by you.
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Well the only way to tell if your a lesbian is if you like women and you are sexually attracted to them. When you look into your future you see yourself with a woman. You may or may not have relationships with women in the past. When you look deep down inside, the word "lesbian" feels right for you.
You can tell if your bisexual if you like both men and woman. You are sexually attracted to both men and women. When you look to the future, you can either see yourself with a man or a woman. You want to have sex with women or men, build a life with a woman or man, have relationships with both men and women. You may or may not have had crushes or relationships in the past. You may not have relationships with women in the past. When you look deep down inside, the word "bisexual" feels right for you.
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