Member Since: March 14, 2010
Answers: 62
Last Update: November 7, 2011
Visitors: 3738
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I have been in a relationship with my girl for a year now and known her for 5 we get along really well always have. I am a single parent and a couple of months ago she found out she was approved to purchase a home and she asked me to move in with her I have a lease and it is not up she recently moved in to her home but talk of us living together has changed at first it was us and our and so on but my lease is up in dec and I am not so sure anymore I told her when she asked mee and my chold that I wanted her to be sure she said she was and now she says she wants to make sure and get to know me and so on. I do understand and dont want to regret but I do love her I let myself believe she was ready and never pushed her for comitment at all...so what do i do now do I just move forward with my own life and plan for myself and child do I wait what do I do (link)
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First things first, you've prefaced this by saying you've known each other for five years, which is a substantial amount of time. But then you tack on that she wants to "get to know" you? What is there to "get to know" all of a sudden? Unless I'm missing something, you should both know each other well enough for the 21 questions to be out of the way.
It's understandable that anyone would have cold feet in the event of moving in with someone, and it's perfectly reasonable to mull it over. However, to answer your question - "do I just move forward with my own life and plan for myself and child?" You should always be planning for yourself and your child, even if you're married to someone. I'd advise you to put your needs and especially your child's needs first, before possibly ending up without a place to live. You can still see someone and have a healthy relationship without sacrificing your own independence and rushing into something the other isn't comfortable with.
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I am a 17 year old girl, I have been in relationships with guys, but I don't know if I have ever been in love with them.. I think, I have been in relationships with girls too. Here is the difference between the two, when I am with a girl, I feel I need to protect them, I never get enough of talking to them, Kissing them makes my heart melt, so on and so forth, When I am with a guy,like I am now, I don't care if they talk to me or not, even if people say he is so hot and can't find myself attrached to them, I almost get disgusted with myself when I kiss him and don't know why, I just don't know what to do, I can't take this confusion. People tell me that I am happier with girls. But I just don't know what to do, ever sience I was little I was attrachted to both guys and girls, as I got older I started having dreams of girls, but then I "fall in love" with a guy, or is it lust? am I bisexual or lesbian? (link)
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I'm going to have to disagree with the other individual who opted to give you advice.
Your sexuality, as well as everyone else's, is not something that's set in stone. In fact, it's very mutable, and you're likely to feel many different ways as you get older. There's no one definition that fits all, and you're not going to become content in racking your brain in regards as to what you need to brand yourself with.
Many people who identify as homosexual, also have heterosexual tendencies, and vice versa. You could see yourself marrying a woman, but prefer to be intimate with men, for example. This is why no one can help you pick and choose what you prefer. What sexuality boils down to is a hardwired preference.
You know what you're attracted to, what you desire and what you don't - it's not about fitting into a slot, and even though doing this might bring you some peace of mind, ultimately what you find yourself infatuated with/lusting over, or in love with, can only be defined by you.
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Ok, it's not like you think well maybe it is we really haven't gone on a date for a really long time and we did a few days ago, still no sex. I devote plenty of time to the relationship, still no sex. He did become abusive again a few months ago but I'm over it and have forgiven him. I guess I should have left then or something. Even when we do have sex which has now dwendled down to less than one time a week, I do not feel sexual if that makes sense. Before I enjoyed it, now it's like I'm going through the motions. Any suggestions? (link)
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"He did become abusive again a few months ago but I'm over it and have forgiven him. I guess I should have left then or something."
I'd be less concerned with my non-existent sex life with this guy, and more concerned about my well-being, which he couldn't care less about.
Abusive behavior isn't healthy, isn't acceptable, and unless he's seeking around-the-clock help, you're diving head first into a doomed situation.
There are more things in a relationship than intimacy, and most certainly, it takes TWO people to make a relationship work.
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I have gained and lost weight all my life! So my whole body is flabby!!
I am not fat, I am just a bit overweight! I wanna know what to do to tighten my body everywhere!!
Desperate please help (link)
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Various forms of exercise will help tone and sculpt your body, depending on your level of activity and determination.
I'd recommend joining a local gym, one of the main benefits you aren't going to receive working out by yourself is the feedback from an actual trainer. They'll be able to pinpoint a realistic routine suited for you and even help motivate you if need be.
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Lately I have been feeling very nervous or even anxious. I have no idea why but the feeling that i feel inside makes me feel super uneasy. It's like i constantly have butterflies. I try to take a second to breath and calm down but it doesn't stop. It has been happening for about a week now and I don't know what to do. I have a lot going on in my life right now but I am not really worried about it too much so why is this happening to me?! (link)
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Most likely what you're facing is anxiety. A simple trip to your doctor can have you properly evaluated, and if need be, prescribed medication.
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I have been seeing this guy for about a year. It all started as a drunk hook up with him, an acquaintance back then, and after that we started seeing each other more and more, until we became best friends and developed feelings for each other. I have had a rough year and he has stuck by me through it all. During the summer, I wanted to start a relationship. I told him that I didn't want to just be friends with benefits anymore, I wanted to take the next step and make it official. He was hesitant, but he agreed. We were official for three months. During that time we fought a lot, so we decided to take a break because it seemed like things were better when we weren't officially together. He told me that the reason he agreed to a relationship with me was because he didn't want to lose me, but I could tell that he didn't truly want to be in one. So we did the unofficial thing for another few months, nothing changed except we stopped fighting and grew even closer. Yet in the back of my head it really bugged me that I was not good enough for him, that he's just using me for the benefits of a relationship without having to put in any of the work himself. I talked to him about that a few times, and he said he just feels more comfortable being what we are now. So last night I finally decided to end it because I was beginning to resent him for that, I don't like waiting around and catering to him whilst he finally decides he wants to be in a relationship with me again. I told him that we should just be friends without the benefits. He said alright let's go for it, that he understands.
I do really want to remain friends, because we do have a really beautiful friendship, but its painful at the same time because at the end of the day I still love him and want to be with him (I'm not sure if he knows that though. I've been pretty emotionally distant from him the past month or so). And I know he still cares about me but he just doesn't want an official relationship.
Did I make a mistake? Should I have stayed and waited some more? I really saw us getting married and having kids someday (he was even vaguely bringing it up), and I feel like I screwed it up. Should I tell him I think I've made a mistake?
When I've asked him why he doesn't want a relationship, he says its because of the obligations. He feels like he's obligated to spend time with me, so its forced on him. However, when we're not in a relationship, he spends time with me because he wants to. And what he said held true: when we were together, I rarely ever saw him and he didn't really pay attention to me. When we're not official, he's obviously happier and loves spending time with me. But what bothers me is that he's had girlfriends before so obviously that wasn't an issue in his past relationships.
The biggest reason why we fought while in the relationship was because I rarely saw him because we weren't taking any classes together, and I didn't have a car. Now we see each other every day because we have a class together and I got a car. So I feel like we won't have the same problems if we get into a relationship again.
Ugh. What should I do? At the end of the day I'm happy with him regardless if we're official or not, its just something that bugs me and eats away at my self esteem and makes me resent him. Did I make a mistake? Should I just talk to him about it some more?
We are both in college, and we have been exclusively seeing each other since we met. (link)
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"When I've asked him why he doesn't want a relationship, he says its because of the obligations. He feels like he's obligated to spend time with me, so its forced on him."
Hello scarlet red flag.
Here's the thing, you can either sit around waiting, hoping for that magical day that he'll commit to you and give in to all your desires; or you can find that in someone who doesn't feel obligated to spend their time with you, but enjoys it.
A guy that doesn't want a "title" on a relationship, just doesn't want a relationship. You're not going to change his mind after a year.
All your resentment comes from the fact that he's used you, and you've allowed it to go as far as it has. He might make you happy as a friend, but don't allow the friendship to remain as a revolving door. Put up some boundaries, benefit from them, and move on.
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My parents have been married for 31 years. My Dad is a jerk, cheated on my mom several times early in the marriage, was an alcoholic & is now just plain mean to my mom. He treates her like a slave. My dad has been going outside on the patio, smoking cigars & playing online poker/games for over 2 years now. Just recently my sister & I were sitting on the sofa watching TV. She turned around & saw that my dad had a small window up with porn on it. My mom is a Christian & they both go to church. I KNOW she wont be okay with this especially because she meets all of his "physical needs" when every he wants. I have been very convicted about this & think I should tell her. Please give me your advice. Thanks. (link)
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The bottom line here is: there's nothing unethical, immoral, or condemning about pornography, nor is your father cheating on your mother through it. I respect the fact that you hold firmly to certain morals, but we're all hardwired to want and desire sex (as it's apart of evolution, to procreate, etc.) And these feelings have nothing to do with the lack of love/respect you seem to think he has for your mother.
How you view your parents relationship and most importantly, how they view it, and how relationships (let alone a 31-year-marriage) work are not the same thing. You need to realize that you're not apart of the situation.
Furthermore, I think the core issue in this is how you feel about the existing relationship between your parents. In which case, you need to discuss how you feel with them in a constructive, positive way. Revealing what you believe to be as some form of adultery to your mother isn't that, certainly.
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I've been married to my beautiful wife for 3 years now. I told her I'd do anything in the world to make her happy and to please her. About a week ago she confessed to me that she wants to experiment with other men. She wants to actually have sex with another man to see what it's like since she has only been with one other man before our marriage. I can't really overcome this and it makes me feel like a bad husband. I told her I'd have to think about a lot of things first. She said that it's the only way she'll be completely happy in this marriage. What do I do? I feel like if I say yes then I am degrading myself and this marriage, but if I say no then I'm holding her back from what will truly make her happiest in this world. (link)
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"I told her I'd have to think about a lot of things first. She said that it's the only way she'll be completely happy in this marriage."
And this sits well with you? If it's the only way she'll be "completely happy", by disregarding your feelings and disrespecting you, then she doesn't deserve you, period.
There's no correlation between the amount of men she's slept with before you and extra-marital sex. The fact is, she wants to sleep with other men because she's unhappy with you. Do you really want to be entangled in this web?
You might love her and she might truly mean the world to you, but she doesn't care enough about you to give you the proper respect you deserve. You are her husband, not a fling, not a doormat, and there's a time and a place to put your foot down. I'd say it's high time to do so.
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My bf and I were fooling around and we like to dry hump a lot. (link)
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Yes, you can.
Most women will still have part of their hymen intact up until child birth. It does not prevent you from pregnancy at all.
Any time preseminal fluid or semen comes in contact with the vagina, you run the risk of pregnancy.
I'd advise you to invest in a method of birth control - whether you're having full on intercourse or not.
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If my boyfriend wanted to have oral sex with me I know there is no way I can get pregnant. He doesn't have any STDs or anything so is there still chances of me getting anything if he doesn't? (link)
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If you know for certain that he doesn't have an STI - then in theory, no. You're not going to magically extract one from his penis.
Be aware that just because he has no symptoms of having one, doesn't rule out the possibility of him having one. Most men generally don't have as many symptoms as women do. There's no way to know if he is clean unless he's been to a doctor.
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My boyfriend is going camping this weekend with a group of friends.. part of that group of friends is his ex girlfriend..I can't go because i have to work. should i be worried? (link)
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After you date so many people, it's really not uncommon to have an ex that is still apart of your social circle. Or even still be friends with an ex. It's not something to lose sleep over, she's not in his life for a reason. And if he were interested in her, more than likely, he would've been pursuing her well before this camping trip.
However, if you have any reason to question his behavior, whether or not he's trustworthy, or think he's liable to cheat, yes. It depends on how sincere he is with you, bottom line.
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About two days after my last period, I got a red bump on the right side of my vagina. A couple days after that, another red bump appeared right next to the other one. They hurt really badly, whenever my underwear shift or when my legs rub together. I'm a virgin, so there's no possibility of an STD or anything, but could I have an infection? What are these bumps and should I see a doctor?
Thanks so much. (link)
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I'm going to assume that you're referring to your labia majora, which are your outer lips. Your vagina is inside your body.
Just because you're a virgin, you're not exempt from possibly having an STI. Herpes Simplex virus, for example, can be transmitted via saliva through oral sex, as well as Syphilis, among other STI'S. This information is false.
As far as what the bumps are, they could be a multitude of things. If you shave your pubic region, it could possibly be ingrown hairs. You might be allergic to the material in your underwear. You could have a yeast infection or a rash. I can't diagnose you as I'm not a doctor, but you should make an appointment with your gynecologist.
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how do you know that a guy is the one for you. the one you're going to marry and spend the rest of your life with? how can you tell? and how young can you be to know? (link)
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When you don't have to question if he is the one for you, really.
There's no definitive answer, it's all subjective. If somebody's right for you, they're right for you without question. When you're ready to absolutely commit yourself to someone there's no doubt left. As far as age goes, age equates to life experience. The older you are, the more relationships you've been in, the more established you are in life, the less you'll ask these questions because you'll have the answers.
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so i have a really good friend and i want to invite her to my birthday. the thing is, i dated her brother (how we met) and he found out about the party and is going to tell their mom she's going and drinking and stuff if he doesn't get an invite. he's really rude and obnoxious and i don't want him there. but i really want my friend to go and not get in trouble. so what do i do? (link)
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I don't understand why she'd be in trouble for being invited to your party, unless she's a minor and you're intending on serving her alcohol. Otherwise, she and her brother are two separate individuals, and your friendship with her has absolutely nothing to do with him, at all.
If there's nothing illegal going on and the party will at least have one responsible adult present, then there should be no issue. Even if her brother's a supposed immature brat - they are not adjoined at the hip, and you do not owe him an invitation of any sort.
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My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 3 years and he is showing no signs of wanting to get married. I have 2 children from a previous marrage and he has never been married before. We are both 33 years old and we live in Nebraska where people don't generally wait much longer than 2 years. We have had our ups and downs but we do very well with the exception of me wanting to get married and him putting it off. How long should I wait? What do I do now while waiting? (link)
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The thing is, some men just don't want to be married. Ever. Your three years could easily turn into the rest of your life waiting hopelessly, thinking he'll propose some day, and it'll never happen.
The idea of commitment scares a lot of men. How long should you wait? How long should you really have to if he's showing no signs and "putting it off".
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so my dad thinks my sisters friends are scum because they drink and smoke. he doesn't let me hang out with my sister and all of them. my sister has always been there for and i like her friends, they're fun and we get along really well. they want her to get out of the house. they don't know her the way i do though. like whenever i'm sick she'll be the one taking care of me and she always makes me feel involved and she treats all of my close friends like family. she's a sweet person, and so are her friends. they all work/are in the marines, so it isn't even like they're bums, they just like to live life. i really like hanging out with them but i don't want to lie everytime i have to..no matter how much i convince him that theyre not bad people he still said if he catches me around them i'm going to be in hugee trouble. what am i suppose to do? i love my sister. (link)
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You didn't mention your age, so my advice to you will be limited.
Regardless of how old you are though, your father is simply looking after you. I think using the term "scum" to describe them is overly harsh, but he's only looking out for your own safety. As a parent it's his job to protect you.
The bottom line here though, this is your sister. Your family, your blood relation. And he needs to recognize that you need to have that relationship with your sister, despite what friends she has. As long as you're not participating in what they do (illegally) and you're not surrounded by it, there's no issue.
I'd suggest explaining the importance of bonding with your sister to him. You can't just cut off family because their friends have a lifestyle that differs from yours.
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I had my first period on Jun 7, 2010. I am expecting my second period within the next few days. I am having the symptoms... cramps, I am crabby, and my boobs are really sore. Also... I need some new feminine hygene products. I am not in the mood to spend a lot of time in that aisle... so does anybody have any suggestions for a good overnight pad and pantiliner? Thanks! (link)
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Always Maxi Pads Overnight are always great.
Kotex Pantiliners are good as well.
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So I'm italian, and I'm pressured by family/friends/media to have a tan because most italians have tanned skin.
I'm naturally light skinned (not pale) but I do tan easily. The thing is, I'm so tired of tanning..and I don't want to ruin my skin. And I hate fake tanning products! I tried it and it's so annoying having to waste my time reapplying each day. But, I feel like every guy prefers girls to have tanned skin; on TV all you see is tanned skin! I'm fine with my skin color overall. Do guys really care what your skin tone is? Does it matter if your just plain white or tan? (link)
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You need to address how this is affecting you to them. Their behavior is utterly ridiculous and ignorant, and no matter what skin tone you are it has nothing to do with your background, and moreover, who you are as a person.
Judging by what you've stated, there are some deep seated issues regarding how you present yourself. Not surprising when you're living in a world that's constantly shoving mainstream propaganda down your throat. The truth is, you are beautiful the way you are.
You should be tired. At this point, I'd be fed up. There's absolutely nothing wrong with not tanning. Actually, there's more wrong WITH tanning than not. Skin cancer isn't beautiful. You are entitled to love the skin you are in. And no, it does not matter if you are white, black or tan. Real men care about personalities.
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ok well i am currently single. im not really lookin for someone but then i am. it seems like all the guys that i am somewhat interested in are older than me. im 22. the guys that im interested in and are interested in me are in thier 30s. is it bad to be 22 and interested in a guy in thier 30s? i mean they have been through more and already pretty much mature.what do you think? what is to much of a age difference for a 22 year old? (link)
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Everyone will share a different viewpoint regarding age gaps in relationships and what they deem as appropriate.
The way I see it is, you're a legal adult. No, it is not wrong, condemning, or abnormal to be attracted to older men. Many women are.
You don't need anyone else's validation to date a man in his 30's. You're a grown woman and can date whoever you'd like.
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Somebody hacked into our computer. They hacked into my brothers game he plays (runescape?), facebook & myspace for sure. We tried calling AT&T (our Internet service) but were no help at all. Anyway, what should we do? Were afraid he was able to find out our other accounts like email and other
important accounts. Are those possible to even get hacked? What should we do? (link)
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First off, I'd recommend asking your brother if he's given anyone his password to ANY of his accounts. It's far more likely someone your brother knows "cracked" (guessed/knew his password and/or personal information to security questions) and gained access to his accounts.
Yes, it's very possible that they can obtain access to any of your e-mails provided your password isn't difficult, or a security question (such as ones used for MSN and yahoo) is personal based, and the person knows enough about you to guess it.
The likelihood of them "hacking" into your e-mail, or anything else, is slim to none. They'd have to hack into a database, just as if they "hacked" into your brother's game account. By doing so, the provider would instantly be aware and you'd be arrested.
Cracking and hacking are entirely different terms. However, they are both illegal. Your ISP probably won't do anything about it unless you're being harassed/blackmailed with private information. The most you can do at the moment is to change all of your passwords/security questions to something obscure.
If problems continue, contact the police.
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