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what am i supposed to do?
so my dad thinks my sisters friends are scum because they drink and smoke. he doesn't let me hang out with my sister and all of them. my sister has always been there for and i like her friends, they're fun and we get along really well. they want her to get out of the house. they don't know her the way i do though. like whenever i'm sick she'll be the one taking care of me and she always makes me feel involved and she treats all of my close friends like family. she's a sweet person, and so are her friends. they all work/are in the marines, so it isn't even like they're bums, they just like to live life. i really like hanging out with them but i don't want to lie everytime i have to..no matter how much i convince him that theyre not bad people he still said if he catches me around them i'm going to be in hugee trouble. what am i suppose to do? i love my sister.
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Ok then. I was going to guess 16 or younger.
18? You're legally an adult. You are also old enough to make your own choices and set your own priorities. This means, if your father chooses to try to control your actions and makes dealing with him unpleasant, then ignore him and go around him.
She's your sister and it sounds like you're very close. Don't lose that, you'll value it more and more the older you get. Don't sacrifice that relationship (or the relationships with her friends, if they're as cool as you say) because your father disapproves.
I wouldn't say this to anyone. I'm saying it to you, specifically because of that "they all work and they just enjoy life" line. Not only are they at least decent examples of having your shit together, but you're mature enough to recognize the and acknowledge the difference. Your father's not in a place to be able to do that, it's not your fault and it's not entirely his either. But it's also not your job to deal with it.
Figure out what you want, and do it. Take what action you deem necessary to protect yourself from your father's reactions. You're not going to agree with him for the rest of your life, and you've hit the point where it's time to stop pretending you do (at least, when he's not around)
For as long as you live at home, it's reasonable to keep your private shit private. Going your own way is part of becoming an adult.
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You didn't mention your age, so my advice to you will be limited.
Regardless of how old you are though, your father is simply looking after you. I think using the term "scum" to describe them is overly harsh, but he's only looking out for your own safety. As a parent it's his job to protect you.
The bottom line here though, this is your sister. Your family, your blood relation. And he needs to recognize that you need to have that relationship with your sister, despite what friends she has. As long as you're not participating in what they do (illegally) and you're not surrounded by it, there's no issue.
I'd suggest explaining the importance of bonding with your sister to him. You can't just cut off family because their friends have a lifestyle that differs from yours.
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