Miranda's Advice Column :)

Ask Miranda

I decided to give my ex another chance. We dated for 3 years and of course I still have feelings for him. Plus he was the guy I lost my virginity too, and the only person I've ever been with. He hurt me by saying it's not going to work since he's leaving again for the military. I just don't understand why he would pretend he still had feelings for me, just to toss me to the side again. I'm heartbroken, and I feel like a fool for letting my feelings get involved again. I've been doing great in all my classes, and six months later he calls and wants to hang out and puts all these lies into my head. I don't know what to do... Please help me?

Wow I'm in your current situation right now except my ex broke up with me 4 days ago. He came back for me and I'm not sure if he's really committed to me anymore.

That's really disappointing and to be honest I feel hurt the same way you do too. I think the only thing you can do is to just try to move on. Do everything that makes you not bring those feelings back to the surface. I would be mad at my boyfriend if he told me that.

There's nothing really you can do right now. He's proved nothing to you except breaking your heart. Just try to avoid him. The best thing to do is to FORGET. If you ever need help feel free to talk to me anytime. Because I'll share with you what I've been through the past couple days and it's been horrible. Find someone who is worth your time and will make you happy. I know there's someone out there for you. You just have to wait till he comes. And another thing about breakups is you can cry and crying helps you get over it faster. I hope I helped.

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Okay so I have a bf, and we have been going out for 2 months. And I have a guy friend that asked me to give him a picture of me in my bra, should I?

No way!!!! You don't want to be easy to guys and that's not a good way to show them your bra. Don't do this. They are only using you for your body and nothing more. A guy will do anything to force you to take a picture of yourself. DONT DO IT. He will want more later...trust me. I know I've been there and I've done that.

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my boyfriend.. lies bad. just about everything,and he lies about uu




He shouldn't lie to you or else how can you trust him? Confront him and tell him if he can not be honest with you then its over. You deserve someone you can trust. He can't lie to you anymore because that is so disrespectful. Don't be with someone who can't be completely honest with you at all times.

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okay so I'm 17/ female
soo me and my ex have been talking for a long time we broke up last summer but we still talk as if we go out even when he has a girlfriend he still messes around with me.. which i think is wrong he has put me through hell and back in it again but its like i fell in love with him so i cant leave him alone we almost had sex last week but i got really scared i dont know if i should have sex with him because i dont want him to have everything. its really confusing should i just cut him off and not talk to him anymore? it might be kind of akward tho? i dont want any of his girlfriends coming up to me and asking me have i been messing with their man shaking my head what do i do ?

He wants his cake and eat it too = He has his girlfriend and you.

You need to cut him off and not talk to him anymore. It will be hard at first but it's what right! He can't have both of you. Don't be around him anymore your wasting your time with your ex when he's with another girl. What does that say? It's pretty much like he's using you if his girlfriend gets boring, they get in fights or just so he can feel better about himself. Don't let him treat you like this. He can't keep you no more. You both are ex's. You need to back off and let him and his girlfriend have a relationship. Because this guy's head isn't in the best place right now.

Be interested in other guys. Find someone who you like. So that you can start getting in a relationship with someone more mature then your ex and so you can have a real relationship. You want to be happy with someone who you can just be with him. Once your ex notices you left he might pull you back. But listen to me he had a chance to get back with you and he chose another girl. His loss not yours :)

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how can you tell if a guy likes you?

If he tries to get your attention. Talks to you first. Makes eye contact. Touches you. Asks for your number and calls and texts you a lot. And mostly if he asks you to hang out with him or go somewhere for a date. That's the surest sign he's into you.

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I know this Guy who ive Known for about 15 years now.
He was around alot during my Childhood years.!
Hes not to much older then iam.
He's a really good friend who i tell everything to.
He told me he wanted to be with me & that he was in love with me.

I dont know what to do!

Ask yourself if you want to be with him and if your in love with him too. If you think this guy could be the one then go for it! If you think you guys would just be good friends and stay that way then do that. It's up to you. Since he's in love with you I think you should take the chance now before he changes his mind.

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There is this guy in school that my friends are saying he likes me but my only friend who knows if its true or not wont tell me because he doesnt want to confess someone elses feelings to me. Before i had a feeling that he liked me but i bypassed it because i figured it couldnt be true. After having people tell me it might be true i want to know if it is true or not because i like him too. When i talk to him he never says much or even drop hints as to if he does like me, so i dont know what to do.. do i just let it go again even after what my friends found out or do i try a different approach?

I think what your friends are telling you is true. If most of them are picking up hints that he likes you then maybe he really does. Some guys don't just say they like a girl because they're afraid of what they will say. Don't worry too much if he doesn't like you or not because chances are he does. If you really want to know ask one of his friends or just ask him if you feel up for it. I am pretty sure he doesn't know if you like him either. Just go with the flow it's better for things to be a mystery then for you to know everything. It makes love more interesting. Chances are if he asks you out pretty soon then you'll know your friends were right. And maybe he was just shy to admit it. Naturally guys give girls mixed signals because they don't know how to express themselves. They all do that. So don't worry about it he probably likes you!

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okay so I have been dating this guy for the past three months and I recently found out he was cheating on me! He told the girl he made out with that he was single and that I was just his friend! I found this out cause i incidentally talked to the girl.I really got angry when I found out he had been lying to me all this while and I immediately broke up with him. when i confronted him about the whole thing he had to accept it but then for the first five hours after confrontation he was all like "i cant believe i could lie so well.." but after that he said sorry and kept on texting and calling me up! he wanted me back and told me he was very sorry and all and he actually spoke to some of his friends (who i know too) about the whole thing and how he really feels sorry about everything. he told some of our mutual friends to call me up too ..should i trust him again and go back to him or not????I am kind of attached to this guy.. before I knew this side of him, WE had an amazing time together ..thats what makes me hard to believe he could actually do something like this to me. I used to consider him my best boyfriend ever. He would do everything just perfectly :) and though ofcourse we were together barely for three months it felt a long time to me cause we used to meet atleast twice a week or even more often most of the times!!Thats why it is so hard for me.I dont know what to do.

Ok well there goes a saying "once a cheater always a cheater." This guy is a jerk for saying "i cant believe i could lie so well..". Is he crazy? Your not supposed to lie to another girl saying your single. You should definitely ask him what was his reason for cheating on you? Was he not happy in the relationship? Was there something missing? Whatever the reason you deserve to know. Cheating is not right and you deserve to know why he did it before you move on. I wouldn't trust this guy at all. He may be sorry because you found and he wants to keep you. But he doesn't know what it feels like to be cheated on. If i was you I wouldn't want to talk to this guy or see him ever again. Give each other a lot of space and go find someone who you can trust and not be cheated on again. He broke it and that's what you need in a relationship. Hang out with your girlfriends, spoil yourself shopping. This guy doesn't deserve your time for what he did. He deserves NO time from you whatsoever. You have to move on. If you go back to him things won't be the same and it will be harder for you to trust and be happy with him. Who knows if you go back to him so easily he could just cheat on you because he doesn't feel that guilty about cheating in the first place. I wish you the best of luck. :) It's hard but you can move on from him! But this guy did a mistake and now he needs to learn from it.

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I sent my girlfriend a text message. In the text message, I asked "Are we
still boyfriend and girlfriend." A couple of minutes later, I didn't get a
response, so I sent another message saying "I would really appreciate a
response." She sent this reply " yes David..... I have to say its kind of
getting old having to tell you over and over again.. I m not sure why you
worry so much.. I have a class now..so I'll talk to you later "

Question: She used excessive periods after saying “yes david”. She used
five periods after that sentence. She only used two periods in her other
sentences. She put extra space between "yes david....." and the next
sentence. When I copy and pasted the exchange of texts into advicenators,
the extra space didn’t show up, but it was there in the original message.
You can’t see the extra space here, but it was in the original message.
She didn't use this extra space between her other sentences. What do the
five dots in "Yes David....." mean? I understand they mean she is annoyed,
but do they directly express annoyance or do they mean that something was
unwritten and it is up to the reader to assume what was supposed to be
written?

haha she's pissed off. Because you have to ask her if you are going out with her. That would piss me off too if my boyfriend asked me if we were dating and I knew it already and had to remind him. Whenever a girl puts a period or dots or a lot of them it means she's mad and annoyed. You are over-thinking this through. Don't worry about it. It's just girl language when a girl puts periods or dots or is saying like 2 words notice that she's not in a good mood or she's mad at you. Try to make her happy and don't ask questions like that. Ask her what she's doing or something fun so she won't get pissed off like that. Good luck!

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So last night I was at a dance it was kinda boring but the my group went to dinner and around ten I decided to text the guy I liked who said he couldn't come to the dance bc he switched schools like a week before the dance and so I went some other guy but I couldn't stop thinking about the guy I liked so I texted him and the whole night no response and I felt stupid now this morning I wake up and it says he texted me back at 2 am well I fell asleep at one so now I feel even more stupid what and when should I text him bc last time a while ago I texted him back in the morning around 12 and he didn't respond after that should I wait till tonight or what?

I think you shouldn't text him back at all. Just stop and wait till he texts you so you know what time to text him back. Because you obviously texted him when he was too busy. He will text you when he feels like it and when he's available. Don't text him back. You'll be happy when he texts you first and then you can talk at a good time and hopefully you won't miss his text, because I can guarantee it wont be at 2 am.

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17/f

Hi- this is kind of the opposite of a normal relationship question. Basically, there's this guy who likes me at school. He gets sort of tongue tied when I'm around and my friends say he likes me, and that he'll try to ask me out soon. The problem is, I'm actually not interested in dating. This guy is great in a lot of ways but I've never been on a date and I'm just not interested atm. how do I say no if he asks me out, without hurting his feelings?

Very simple you say it in the nicest way possible and that you think he is great in a lot of ways and be completely honest with him and say you've never been on a date. Don't say your not interested in him or else he will get hurt. Don't say just no either. You have to compliment him and say he's really great guy but you are just going to have to pass. He should accept that. Be nice about it. He will feel better if he knows the truth. Trust me everyone wants to hear the truth. But you have to be nice about saying no thats all it is :) Hope it goes well!

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Me and my boyfriend of a year and a half have been going through a really rough time in our relationship. We have been trying to take some time apart in hopes that it will help. Unfortunetly it has done the exact opposite because he has been thinking that i am going around with some other guy. I haven't though, i have barely left my house. And now I have permanently destroyed the relationship i think because I completely freaked out and lost it. i told him that i did sleep with some one even though i didnt. i dont know why i even said that to him but now i dont know what to do. Is there anything at this point that i can even do?

You have to talk to him and tell him that it was a mistake for you to say that you cheated on him when you really didn't. You have to be completely honest with him. Tell him in a sincere way so that he can possibly believe you. Show him by your ways of caring for him and about his feelings. If he feels hurt say
"I know I probably hurt you when I said I cheated on you but the truth is I only said that because I completely lost my mind! And I'm really sorry and hopefully you can believe me"
Then give him time to think about it. Don't talk to him just give him space. He will give you his answer from there on. I hope things work out and he believes you and forgives you too!

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A while ago, I told my friend about a crush that I had. Since I was afraid that she would freak out, I told her that I didnt like him any more but I do. Now I learned that she likes him a little too!!! I even just had a dream about him. Should I tell her that I still like him a lot or let her have him?

I think you should because she's your friend and she wants someone who is honest with her. She doesn't want you to hide your feelings. Once she knows you like him you both can decide on what to do from there. I think you shouldn't have a challenge over him with your friend. If she really likes him let her have him and be a good friend. I'm sure you both can make something work out. She will value your friendship more if you tell her and then figure out if she likes him A lot or a little. I hope this helps!

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I am a 17 year old girl, I have been in relationships with guys, but I don't know if I have ever been in love with them.. I think, I have been in relationships with girls too. Here is the difference between the two, when I am with a girl, I feel I need to protect them, I never get enough of talking to them, Kissing them makes my heart melt, so on and so forth, When I am with a guy,like I am now, I don't care if they talk to me or not, even if people say he is so hot and can't find myself attrached to them, I almost get disgusted with myself when I kiss him and don't know why, I just don't know what to do, I can't take this confusion. People tell me that I am happier with girls. But I just don't know what to do, ever sience I was little I was attrachted to both guys and girls, as I got older I started having dreams of girls, but then I "fall in love" with a guy, or is it lust? am I bisexual or lesbian?

Well the only way to tell if your a lesbian is if you like women and you are sexually attracted to them. When you look into your future you see yourself with a woman. You may or may not have relationships with women in the past. When you look deep down inside, the word "lesbian" feels right for you.


You can tell if your bisexual if you like both men and woman. You are sexually attracted to both men and women. When you look to the future, you can either see yourself with a man or a woman. You want to have sex with women or men, build a life with a woman or man, have relationships with both men and women. You may or may not have had crushes or relationships in the past. You may not have relationships with women in the past. When you look deep down inside, the word "bisexual" feels right for you.

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So my ex and I dated for three months, and he broke up with me over an issue that made him not trust me completely. From the beginning, he wanted to be friends and frankly, I was uneasy about it. Normally when the relationship's over, it's over for me, and that door shuts as to not become a revolving door of emotions. But he ended up explaining to me that he still wanted to remain "friends" to see if maybe we could get back together again, and could see each other in a light outside our relationship (which for the last month was full of arguing over things we both misunderstood about one another.)
I agreed to this - and still, I'm uneasy. I've made it clear to him that I feel as long as I'm being his "friend" that seeing anyone else besides each other would be unfair to either of us and just hurt us, ultimately. And he's said he has no desire to do so. So we're "platonic friends"... and that's the gist of it.
However, he's stated to me several times about how it will take "time" to see if we can be back together. I'm not a serial dater, so I can understand that it's going to take time, but at the same time I feel like if he felt the same way toward me it shouldn't be too much of a question if he wants back with me.

I guess I'm afraid that this is just a way of keeping the door open for him, so he can still have that option with me but if something else comes along, he'll go for it. But I also know that he really likes me, and he's not the type to jeapordize what we have. It's just a complicated situation, and I'm wondering if anyone else has ever been there, and if they really got back together again? Also, what really IS the appropriate amount of time to keep him in my life is things seemingly go nowhere? I feel like a month and maybe slightly more is a justified amount of time.

I have been in your situation where me and my ex broke up and he wanted to be just friends. I really wanted him to come back. I was miserable and desperate without him. It felt like the end of the world for me because we dated for 2 years. But we did end up getting back together. It took about until the next season. And when I least expected it to happen. But the thing is the breakup was so hard to get over that I just couldn't be friends with him because it made me feel a lot of pain. Because I still had a deep connection with him and I always thought in my head that "hes still mine, I'm still his" but no he was flirting with other girls I was flirting with other guys. Thats the real picture. Once your ex's you can do whatever you want to hurt each other. You need to to not be friends with your ex at all. Cut all contact with him or trust me you will get hurt. Even if you aren't friends with him you'll still get hurt. So do yourself a favor and block him from everything and throw away everything. You have to think that he's not in your life anymore. Once you do this he will start to notice you don't need him in his life anymore or in yours. Then he will start to come back to you. It will take some time. So make a change in your life. And start working out and enjoying it and keep yourself busy every minute. It took me till the next season to get him back and I really missed him when we were a couple again.

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I saw a few weeks ago that my ex finally joined facebook, but I never friend requested him since I had the fear of him hating me or something. The other day I decided what the hell, why not. If he accepts me, he accepts me; If he doesn't, he doesn't.
Well, he did accept me after all. I didn't say anything to him, I just left it at the accepted friend request. Then he wrote on my wall several minutes later saying "Wow this is crazy, I swear I was just looking for you on this the other day".
And he asked for my number in a message.
So what does it mean ?
I should take it slow, right ??

I guess...but you should have waited till he added you first on facebook that was your number 1 mistake right there (if you want to date him again). He could just want to be friends with you and reconnected that way. It doesn't mean that he wants you back just yet. But that's good that he talked to you first. If you want this guy back in your life you have to respond slowly to his responses. Don't let him mess with your emotions so fast. That message he said probably means that he wants to reconnect with you because he was thinking about you. Take it slower than before. Remember he's your ex not your boyfriend. Things could be really awkward if you don't have control over this.

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Well I resently broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years and I'm trying to forget about him but now his friends know what happen kinda and they are looking at me like I'm the evil one in this. They don't know how he treated me and what went on behind doors and they keep trashing me I don't know what to do I look really bad to everyone and I get dirty looks. How do I make peice?

Don't start any arguments with his friends or him. They probably are on his side mostly because they are his friends. Just because they are doing that you shouldn't give them dirty looks also. They haven't heard your side of the story only his, maybe that's why they aren't being mature about this. Just be a kind person that you are and don't let them bother you. You are your own person and they are their own person. It's better to make peace if you can be quiet about things.

5 ♥

Hi I'm a teenager. I liked this guy or a long time and now he is starting to like me. The thing is I don't like him anymore. He texts me and facebook chats me but I don't want to reply because I don't want to talk to him. The reason I don't like him anymore is because I got to know him and I like a funny out going guy. I feel bad for leading him on but I'm really not interested. What do I do?

Just be straight up with him and let him know that you just want to be friends. Tell him your sorry. He can accept that you guys can be friends or he will move on to find another girl he likes. But the best thing to do is to let him know that you liked him but now you just consider being his friend. It's best for him because he doesn't want to waste his time. He could also feel hurt if you never tell him about it. If you keep ignoring him he will think your just busy or playing hard to get and he won't stop bugging you. So yea, be friends. It should work!

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When your stuck between two guys is it better to just stay single?

If you don't want to cause any drama then yes it is better to just stay single. You should really do what you want though. If you like being single than go ahead and do that. But if you like/love one of these guys then be with them. It's how you want to live your life. Sometimes drama is good because then your life would be boring without it. You should do what your heart desires. But if you want to not cause drama between the two guys then just stay single.

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how do i get a guys attention to let him know i am interested and seduce him with the things i might do casually

Use a flirty pickup line and maybe he will flirt back. Try to get him in a room with you two alone and go from there. It should be easy if your feeling sexy and have direct eye contact. Don't force him to think your sexy. Just make it come natural for you. Use the sexy walk and shake your butt that should work too ;)

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