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Being "friends".
So my ex and I dated for three months, and he broke up with me over an issue that made him not trust me completely. From the beginning, he wanted to be friends and frankly, I was uneasy about it. Normally when the relationship's over, it's over for me, and that door shuts as to not become a revolving door of emotions. But he ended up explaining to me that he still wanted to remain "friends" to see if maybe we could get back together again, and could see each other in a light outside our relationship (which for the last month was full of arguing over things we both misunderstood about one another.)
I agreed to this - and still, I'm uneasy. I've made it clear to him that I feel as long as I'm being his "friend" that seeing anyone else besides each other would be unfair to either of us and just hurt us, ultimately. And he's said he has no desire to do so. So we're "platonic friends"... and that's the gist of it.
However, he's stated to me several times about how it will take "time" to see if we can be back together. I'm not a serial dater, so I can understand that it's going to take time, but at the same time I feel like if he felt the same way toward me it shouldn't be too much of a question if he wants back with me.
I guess I'm afraid that this is just a way of keeping the door open for him, so he can still have that option with me but if something else comes along, he'll go for it. But I also know that he really likes me, and he's not the type to jeapordize what we have. It's just a complicated situation, and I'm wondering if anyone else has ever been there, and if they really got back together again? Also, what really IS the appropriate amount of time to keep him in my life is things seemingly go nowhere? I feel like a month and maybe slightly more is a justified amount of time.
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I have been in your situation where me and my ex broke up and he wanted to be just friends. I really wanted him to come back. I was miserable and desperate without him. It felt like the end of the world for me because we dated for 2 years. But we did end up getting back together. It took about until the next season. And when I least expected it to happen. But the thing is the breakup was so hard to get over that I just couldn't be friends with him because it made me feel a lot of pain. Because I still had a deep connection with him and I always thought in my head that "hes still mine, I'm still his" but no he was flirting with other girls I was flirting with other guys. Thats the real picture. Once your ex's you can do whatever you want to hurt each other. You need to to not be friends with your ex at all. Cut all contact with him or trust me you will get hurt. Even if you aren't friends with him you'll still get hurt. So do yourself a favor and block him from everything and throw away everything. You have to think that he's not in your life anymore. Once you do this he will start to notice you don't need him in his life anymore or in yours. Then he will start to come back to you. It will take some time. So make a change in your life. And start working out and enjoying it and keep yourself busy every minute. It took me till the next season to get him back and I really missed him when we were a couple again.
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One of the reasons why I always suggest to cut contact with the exes is because it only leads up being a pain in the ass later on half the time.
Lets back track on what you said:
You are uneasy about the ideal of having a friendship with you ex, This is where you've made up your mind on whether it's a good idea or not. If you feel uneasy then I'm assuming there is a good reason behind it.
On his behalf, The guy can't make up his mind on what he wants and so he decided he would go down the route of playing games to see "where it will lead too" Stop letting him waste your time. If he didn't trust you while dating, He certainly isn't going to start now.
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