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my parents wont let me get rides from friends
last year i had to beg my parents to let me get rides with my friends, who were older than me and had their lisences for at least a year. finally my parents said yes, and things were great, until one of my friends was involved in a car accident 2 months ago, and i was in the passenger seat. no one was hurt, but ever since then my dad wont let me get rides with my friends.
my mom is okay with me getting rides, but says we have to respect my dads wishes, so she wont talk to him about it. he wont listen to me. i got into so many fights with my parents about this, and eventually i gave up. so now i just deal with it. but its embarassing to have to get rides from my parents, and its hard to hang out with my friends. i dont like lying to my parents either.
i dont let my lisence till october. i dont want to miss out on an entire summer of being with my friends.
please help. thank you. im a girl, and 15, if that helps. :)
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It wouldn't it kill you to get a bus pass good for each month to wherever you had to go. Do that or ask your parents to pay for a cab when needed from someone's house.
I would be grateful that they want to pick you up. Most teens don't get that everywhere or anywhere you want to go. Big deal if your friends mock you or you feel uncool. That's their problem not yours to worry about. It would mean they're immature which is really what this issue with your folks boils down to.
They can't trust your fiends due to either immaturity or little to no driving experience because they already got you into an accident and that's a very big deal hurt or not.
I would ask for a bus pass or cab if you feel embarrassed at least you will be 100% safe and that's what they want.
In Canada they have graduated licensing which requires 1 year worth of driving on a learner's permit in the province of Ontario with an adult in the car at all times, no highways and no driving at night.
Then the second level allows for highway driving, eventually no adult and introduction of night driving. Then after being road tested you get full license. Takes 2-3 years depending on aptitude.
If under 30-years-old and you have even 1 drink before driving you can go to jail if they stop you and you have any alcohol in system.
Waiting for your license in a few months is nothing compared to this. Suck it up get a cab or a bus pass and be fine or just ignore being mocked.
Dad's not going to change his mind and you know what your friends should respect why. If they ever asked tell them it's due to the accident that you cannot drive with anyone under 18 who doesn't have enough experience behind the wheel. If they don't get it--not your problem but it should give them something to think about.
It's best to look like an idiot for not taking a ride with someone you shouldn't drive with than to be an actual idiot for going with a friend who may or may not be over their head driving or irresponsible enough to get into another accident. Your dad's right on this.
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Unfortunately I'm on both sides of this issue. I'm a parent and old enough to be your grandfather. I'm also a member of a Fire Department Rescue Squad. As a fire fighter assigned to the Rescue squad I have had the unpleasant task of having to cut all to many teenagers, both dead and barely alive from what remains of their cars after they crash.
For those of us that do this job it is the hardest of all the jobs we do. For most of us are parents ourselves. When we have a shift where we have had a particularly devastating accident we all go home and hold are children a little closer.
It is not hard for me to understand why you father feels as he does. He's scared; he is afraid of loosing you. It is not that he doesn't trust you, he doesn't trust the person driving. Teenagers think they are invincible, that nothing bad will ever happen to them.
There is a line from an old movie where a commanding officer is telling a pilot "Son your writing checks you body can't cash." This is true of almost every teenage male driver. They all think they have great car control skills; they don't. They keep pushing and pushing until one day they push to far.
That's when I get called. When I finish getting them out of the car, all to often the Police have to make what for them is the worst part of their job. Notifying the parents. Telling them they have to go to the hospital or worse to the area morgue to identify the body.
This is what scares us as parents, you too will be scared when the time comes when your children reach the age you are now. You are not going to be able to negotiate with you dad on this one. But in time he will remember what it was like to be your age. Unfortunately at the moment he is remembering only what he was like when he first got his license. Give him some time and he will come around as did I and my parents.
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