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straight or lesbian ?
I'm a 17 year old female living in South Africa. I have a boyfriend who I have been with for 1 amazing year and an ex boyfriend who I was with for 2 years . I'm all about boyfriends. But I have some girl issues .!! Here's some things :: 1) when I masturbate I watch lesbian porn or I think about a girl. 2) sometimes when I see a girl I'm attracted to I get so turned on and I dono what to do with myself. 3) there is 1 girl in particular I want to be with sexually and emotionally but I don't know what to do . Should I go out there and try it or contain myself? Biggest problem is I love my boyfriend more than my own life ! Please advise me on what to do !!
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
There is nothing wrong with being attracted to both sexes. I've been with both many times in the past, finally got married to a man but I still want to have sex with women. My advice would be to go on a few "friend" dates with this girl you're attracted to. Have lunch, go to a movie, have dinner or just hang out at a store for the day. See how she reacts to you and you'll see how you're feelings are for her. If you do have sex with her but still love your boyfriend, then she is probably just an infatuation and you'll have a lot of those in your life. The best thing to do after you've experimented, is to talk to your boyfriend about your feelings toward girls. Like most boys, he will more than likely want to join in but you'll have to make that determination if you want to go that route or make it exclusive when you're with a girl. If you have any other questions, please feel free to ask me. I hope this helps and good luck.
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Talk to your bf maybe he will want you to see what it is like at least sexually. Don't jump to emotionally yet...that would suck for your bf. I am like you with the porn though...I don't really like watching porn with males too much...but if you look up some studies a good percentage of females would rather watch other females and get turned on a lot more while looking at a female. I think there is a lot more beauty to appreciate looking at a female body apposed to a male. Don't be scared to like the female body. Most woman do...Its hot to watch girl on girl. Best thing to do is talk to your bf and don't just jump into lesbianism...emotions should not be in the equation when you are first thinking about this.
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I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
I would be hesitant to place a label on your sexuality. At this age both boys and girls are still trying to figure out their sexuality. To label yourself as a Lesbian or even bi-curious would not only be wrong but self defeating at this time. To even put this in the category of a phase that most young people go through would not be right either.
There are a number of reasons for sexual attraction to someone of our own sex at this age. First and foremost is the fact it is safer and easier to relieve the sexual tension brought on by the changing hormones your body is producing. Parents think nothing of two children of the same sex being behind closed doors, sleeping together, even in the same bed, particularly females.
I have known women that have been bi all through college, then gone straight heterosexual afterwards. Reason it was easier and sex was more available if you were bi; it was also safer.
My advice: Don’t put a label on your sexuality at this time. Just enjoy learning about who you are sexually. When you are older if you still want to put a label on your sexuality then do so, but for now just enjoy being you.
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You need to decide what is more important too you, Being with your boyfriend or dating the girl you have feelings for.
Know that if you decide to leave your boyfriend to date someone else don't expect it to end on a nice note.
You need to decide for yourself what you want
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