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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
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this may be long. sorry but i need help..
my phone got stolen a few weeks ago so I have been using the house phone to talk to my boyfriend. well the other night he was out to dinner with his friends so i went and got my moms phone to text him. She has about 300 unread emails, and she got a new one. I didn't want the LED light to be flashing since I was using it to know when my bf texts me. So i was gonna open then close the email.
Turns out it was from her "lover."
This isn't the first time I have "caught" her. When I was in about 7th grade, I opened up her email thinking it was mine and read some stuff. Showed my sister, she talked to her whatever. I was young.
Well this time, I showed my sister, and she told me to reply to it. So I did, saying "this is ___ daughter, you better pray my dad, sister and I never find you."
We decided to leave his and my email on her phone so she can see. The next day she came and said "you sister thinks im cheating on your dad?" and i said we read the emails blah blah blah and that I'm the one who emailed him back. She was shocked.
The emails weren't anything sexual but she did say she "loved him more" and that they should meet up.
Turns out he works where my mom does. My mom cleans offices (as do i, at the same place) and she "ran into him."
shes lying. the one email said "i want more of your sweet kisses" from him. her excuse "he gave me a kiss on the cheek."
the emails never said "i had fun with you" ect. She told my dad she had a "crush" on him when she worked somewhere else a few years ago. so it might be true that she "ran into him" and hasnt been "seeing" him long.
So, idk how I feel. Its no surprise that my mom is unhappy. they fight and she use to tell us "when you guys are both 18 im leaving your dad" well im now 19 soon to be 20 and my sister is 23.
Like my sister is all upset and cant believe this is happening, as to where I am just like "okay." I haven't cried, yelled or anything. Tonight both my dad and sister were "yelling" at my mom and I just sat here. I haven't called her names, the only thing I said was "i don't want to talk to you" but I love my mom, i'm a mommys girl.
I don't know if its just not hitting me yet or I have a better control of myself. she left the house tonight, wont pick up her cell, probably bc im calling from the house, and I have no idea where shes at. I'm worried.
Do you guys think something is wrong with me bc I "dont care" about her cheating? yes, its wrong and she shouldn't have. But at the same time im like whatever....:\
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather. Hopefully the wisdom that comes with age will be helpful to you.
What is happening with your mother and her friend and your mom and dad are two separate but joined issue's. I think you are old enough to understand how that can be.
It is hard for any child, regardless of age, to understand why a parent is cheating on their spouse. it is almost as hard to understand why the spouse is putting up with it.
What is important to understand that this is an issue that is between your parents and not you and your siblings. There is nothing that you or they did to cause the cheating and nothing you can do to stop it.
What is also important to understand is whatever is happening between you parents does not in anyway effect there feelings for you and siblings. You are their children and they love you. They maybe caught up in their own problems to the point that they may not show their love to your satisfaction. It does not mean they have lost their love for their children. I know of no parent who has ever lost their love for their children.
Liking someone and loving someone are two entirely different thoughts and emotions. A parent can at times not like a child. Your mother may not like you or your sister for violating her privacy and reading her text messages but she has not stopped loving you. Do not confuse the two.
I don't think there is anything wrong with you for having no emotions about the cheating. In fact by having no emotion you are in fact having some. I believe you are just overwhelmed by all of this and this is how you are dealing with it. By in a sense shutting it out. Not the best way to deal with it but it is a form of self protection.
My advice: This is a problem your parents need to workout. You and your sister need to stay out of it. There is nothing you can do to fix it. You have made your feelings known and that is all you can do.
When i was in middle school i was molested by my friends dad, and ever since then i have never looked at an older guy in a physical way. I'm 21 now and i work with a 40 year old who is insanley good looking for his age. He showed intrest in me and we've hung out a few times. The first time he tried to kiss me i felt VERY uncomfortable and said now, but each time we hung out i started to like him that much more, so we ended up making out. One night after drinking, we went back to his place and he tried kissing me more but i was tired so i started to pass out. I felt him taking my pants off, and then my underwear and he started to go down on me and then he had sex with me. I was pretending to be "passed out" the whole time, but he didn't know. So what's wrong with me? I think i didn't want him to know i was awake because i didn't want things to be awkward at work from then on, and i may have secretely wanted to have sex with him but didn't know what to do. What do you guys think my problem is? Because i still can't get him out of my mind. I just can't believe i could ever like someone 19 years older than me who technically raped me.
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather and I think I have some advice that will be of help to you.
First; I'm sorry your friends father molested you. It is apparent from what you have written that his molesting you has left it scars.
There is a group called RAINN: which stands for, Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. I would like you to contact them. They operate a 24/7 hotline staffed by volunteers who are trained to help you find people in your town who can help you and are part of the RAINN network. There number is 1-800-656-HOPE. Please call them now.
If you would like to check out their website, the URL is: http://www.rainn.org/
As for the man who had sex with you when your were drunk. Being drunk means you were not legally able to give consent, therefore you were raped. I would suggest you discuss this with the counselor from RAINN and follow their advice.
Once again I'm sorry your friendsfather molested you. Your parents should have sought therapy for you when it happened.
Please call RAINN and talk with their call takers. let them help you find someone in your town who can help you work through all this. In the mean time I would suggest you do not date this man.
ok so here it goes I like this guy that goes to the mental health center that I go to and iam 22 years old and he's 40 years old and the manager there says we can't date each other becouse of the age difference what should I do?
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather and I hope the wisdom that comes with age will be helpful.
Let me put another spin on this scenario for you.
You two have met at a mental health center; while there is nothing wrong with that neither of you truly know why the other is being treated for. The manger of the treatment center may know why you are both there but buy law cannot tell either of you why the other is there.
Just for conversation lets look at why someone 40 years old would want to date some one 18 years his junior. The first thing that jumps out is that he is old of enough to be your father and maybe only a few years younger or even the same age as one of your parents.
When I see this I see someone who is either a child molester or has a fixation on child molestation. By dating women such as you he legally get to satisfy his fixation. by you dating him you are enabling him not helping him with his fixation.
This may be what is on the managers mind when he told you that you cannot date this man. By law he cant tell you any of what I proposed as a possibility and the man you want to date would never tell you that.
Will this man hurt you? Physically I don;t think so. Emotionally he will when you become to old to satisfy his fixation as a child molester.
My advise: Follow the managers advise and find someone else. You will only be hurt emotionally by this man.
I've always had a hard time making choices on my own and when i've made my own choices i've always made the wrong ones let me give you and idea on how i've been living my life eveer since I can remember. i think it has to with the fact that my dad molested me when I was 3 and I don't remember it but I still have flashbacks about it like the police coming and putting him in a cop car and then putting me in another cop cap and then as having to have supervision while I was around my dad couldn't be alone with him. my mom's side of the family telling me about him molesting me and then my dad's side of the family calling my mom a liar. Then we I got older I started acting out when I was 12 my dad died. I kept running away from home from since I was 12 up untill I was 17. I started drinking when I was 18 and a man had sex with me while I was drunk which how I see it was rape. and ever since I turned 18 Ihad sex with 5 guys and one girl in 5 years time and now I just don't understand why iam living my life this way and I want to change how can I change the way I live my life?
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather and I think I have some advice that will be of help to you.
First; I'm sorry your father molested you. Not all fathers are like him and his family should never have treated you as they did. It is apparent from what you have written that his molesting you has left it scars.
There is a group called RAINN: which stands for, Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. I would like you to contact them. They operate a 24/7 hotline staffed by volunteers who are trained to help you find people in your town who can help you and are part of the RAINN network. There number is 1-800-656-HOPE. Please call them now.
If you would like to check out their website, the URL is: http://www.rainn.org/
As for the man who had sex with you when your were drunk. Being drunk means you were not legally able to give consent, therefore you were raped. You could report this rape should you wish to. I would suggest you discuss this with the counselor from RAINN and follow their advice.
Once again I'm sorry your father molested you. Your mother should have sought therapy for you when it happened. It is not her fault that she didn't. Back then we thought children your age where more resilient and that being only 3 you would forget it ever happened. We know better now.
Im a 15 year old girl and for some reason i dont really feel emotion anymore, I dont feel sad or depressed. but nothing. Usually i just wear a fake mask of happiness and everyone buys it. they believe im the happiest person ever. I enjoy mimicing peoples expression and studieing what other people do. Its shocking how people are so easily fooled. I dont really understand much of why people get so upset or how they can express emotions so easily without feeling stupid. I dont really care about anything. Especailly my school work. Ive lost complete interest in it, since i no longer feel the urge to do well. They think ive gotten lazy, but i just dont feel the need or push anymore to do well in school. Most advice columbs about realated topics suggest going through your childhood memories but, i honestly cant remember mostly anything thing from my childhood. i cant even remember as far back as a month ago or a week. Its all a blur. The few momories i do have is of pointless interactions between strangers or classmates. thats what all my memories are, pointless blurs of my life. I feel as if im in a dream, as if nothing is real and nothing is really happening. the days just blur together and i just go through it without feeling anything. I dont even reconize myself in the mirror anymore. People would consider me "pretty" and stuff but when i look in the mirror it feels as if what im doing or me myself isnt real. I dont feel "real", nothing feels real. And I honestly dont know why.
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather and hopefully I can help you with this problem.
This is going to sound strange but the fact that you say you feel nothing means you are feeling something. It is a form of depression you are feeling. Most likely caused by puberty and the hormonal changes going on within you.
Back when I was a teenager and when your parents where your age too, we called it going through a phase. Something we and they would grow out of. Statistically they were correct in that 7 out of 10 teenager did. The other 3 continued to flounder and picked up different labels such as lazy.
Today we know better and their is help for what is know called teenage depression. Lets face facts here; who better than today's teenager has earned the right to get depressed, especially the girls. To start with you have all the physical changes going on with your body, then the hormonal changes, the social changes of middle and high schools.
Then there are boys and dealing with there becoming all hands and focuses on one thing. Then there is the fact that more is expected of you. You need to get good grades to get in to a good college. You are a young adult you are expected to act like one.
We are stealing are children's childhoods, of course teenagers are going to get depressed. Who wouldn't? This type of depression is not a mental illness in that it is a chemical in balance of hormones secreted in the brain to control mood. Because of this in some cases medication is used to help us through this and the best doctor to prescribe medication is a psychiatrist because the medication effects secretions in the brain; not because you are crazy.
Talk therapy then helps you sort out the problems, or stressors as they are called that is causing the depression. The therapist helps you find ways to deal with these stressors rather than hide from them which is in essence what you are doing when you say you feel nothing.
My advice: Go see your family doctor, as your are 15 you can do so in total medical confidentiality. Meaning mom or dad can be asked to wait in the waiting room while you and the doctor consult and you are examined. The doctor by law, called HIPPA, must keep your confidence and can only release information with your written permission. This way you can be totally open and truthful with your doctor.
Tell the doctor what you have told us. The doctor will most likely want to do a full physical to rule out any physical causes and screen you for depression. If you are an HMO patient and the doctor decides to prescribe for you and feels an anti-depressant is in order. Ask to be referred to a psychiatrist for the reasons I gave above as well as a therapist. You may have to change therapist several times until you find one you are comfortable with; this is not unusual. You have to be comfortable with your therapist if you are going to be able to talk about the problems causing you stress.
Good luck and write back if you need too.
i have been sexually active since i was 16. i have never bleed during or after sex. but with my recent boyfriend. i bleed alot. we have had sex before but nothing like this has happend. during our last intercours he hit a new spot that i have never had befor. it didnt hurt or anything but as a result i bled. is there a way that he either tor somthing inside me or he was the only one that could reach my cheery?
Hi, I am one of the older advisers on this website and while you didn't say how old you are, I am probably old enough to be your grandfather.
It is questions like yours that I am an advisor on this site so I can give you the correct information rather than what in my day was called "Old Wives Tales" or "Street Information"
The fact that you did not bleed on your first intercourse could be for several reasons. You could have lost your Hymen do to physical activity, had a very thin Hyman, fingering or do to masturbation. It is possible that your Hyman was so elastic it was pushed aside or it had a hole in it that other partner(s) were able to slip through.
If your current boyfriend is that much bigger in circumference than your past boyfriends he may not have been able to slip through the hole in your Hyman and in fact did rip you Hyman. This of course is something only you can answer.
If you continue to bleed after intercourse then you should visit your gynecologist.
My stomach hurts extremely bad, when ever I pee it hurts worse. Its not my period because I already had it this month. It hurts towards the lower part of my stomahce whats wrong with me?
Hi, I'm one of the older advisers on this website. Probably old enough to be your grandfather. Hopefully the wisdom that comes with age will be useful to you.
The best advise you are going to get on this site is to go see a doctor. None of us are doctors and we won't and can't make a diagnoses over the Internet. First of all we are prohibited from doing so and more importantly we would probably be wrong.
While it is most likely you have some type of urinary infection, without some lab work; the exact type of infection and how to treat can only be done by a doctor. Women are more prone to urinary infections then men for some reason, your doctor may be able to tell you why.
If you are over 13 you can see your doctor with total medical confidentiality; meaning your mom can be asked to wait in the waiting room while you speak with the doctor. This way you can speak with the doctor openly and truthfully and the doctor must keep you confidence by law.
If you can get to your doctor by yourself than do so. If not then tell mom or dad that you need to see the doctor and why. Then make the appointment.
Most importantly is the fact that you need to see a doctor to clear this up.
i have a story and a question- so here's the thing... i sent my former teacher two letters of appreciation, then she sent me back a thankyou letter. then, because i was so excited to get a letter from her, i sent her another letter saying thanks for replying and congrats on her new baby that she mentioned in her letter. she didn't respond, so i sent her another letter talking about random stuff and questions so she would have to reply back. when several months passed, i finally figured out that a possible reason for her not responding to my letters was that she didn't want to talk anymore. so, finally, i sent her another letter apoligizing and explaining why i kept sending her letters and how i really just wanted to talk to her and sorry for any inconvenience. so my question is do you think she's mad at me? i feel so embarrassed and there's no way for me to talk to her because she moved and even if i did have her number, i wouldn't call her or show up at her house like a stalker... this is humiliating. do you think i overdid it by sending the apology? do you think she appreciated the apology(that is if she was annoyed with the other letters- which by the way, were not anything bad) she knows me by the way, she knows i'm a good kid. she said it herself in the letter that sent me. what's your opinion? thanks!!=]]
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather. I hope the wisdom of my age may be helpful to you.
You don't say if you are a guy or a gal. For some reason I get the feeling your a guy. If I'm wrong pleas excuse me. Even if your a gal my answer is still somewhat relevant.
I'm sure your teacher appreciated you letters but may have mistaken you interest in her. Today teachers have to very careful in how they interact with students and former students while they are in school and under age. Even after a student graduates the interaction between a teacher and former student of different sex's can be called into question with devastating effects for the teacher.
This is a subject that is even harder to approach with a student she may suspect have the wrong interest in her. If she were to write back and say anything about what she felt you were feeling it could be misinterpreted by you or anyone else reading the letter.
While it may have been wrong of her to not write back and say something to you about this or just write a general letter about how nice it was to be your teacher and how sorry she was to be moving. She may have felt the safest thing for her to do was to discourage you by not answering you at all.
If you appreciate her as a teacher and a mentor do not send her any more letters. Just remember her for the fine teacher she is and what she has taught you.
One of my best guy friends (we'll call him Sam) told me on Friday that he was sick of his life and that he was going to kill himself. I've been paranoid all weekend and i dont know what to do. he's the type of guy that mot definately would kill himelf.
Hi, I'm one of the older advisers on this site. I hope the wisdom that comes with age will be helpful to you.
You have not given your ages so I am going to error on the side of caution with my advise.
If your are truly his friend and he still lives at home then I advise you to tell his parents what he told you. Better he be alive and hate you, the he kill himself and you have kept his confidence.
If you are adults and do not live with parents them you should advise the proper authorities of what you suspect. They will check on him and if it is felt it is possible for him to harm himself they will take the appropriate action to keep him safe. Of course if you do know how to contact his parents you should do that as well. As an adult though only the proper authorities, such as the police, have the ability to save him from himself.
Hey im a 19 year old female and for the past 3-4 months my heart would start beating out of my chest for no reason. It usually happens when i'm at work and i'm a shift supervisor at a local fast food place. It doesnt even have to be busy but all of a sudden out of no where my heart will start racing like crazy. I know how to read pulse's so i read mine and it was around 130 bpm. Thats the highest i've counted it before. I dont have chest pain when this happens. It does get a slight bit more difficult to breathe and i get a little light headed but its never severe. I've talked to family and friends and they suggested that i may be having a panic or anxiety attack. Does anybody have any idea whats going on? Thanks and i do rate!
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather and I hope the wisdom of may age and life experiences will help you.
As a fire department first responder with a rescue squad I have to suggest two things. First what is happening to you needs to be evaluated by your family doctor as this is something serious. Second you should tell mom or dad what is going on. I use the word should rather than need as you are now an adult an are not required to tell your parents. Although if you still live at home your parents should be made aware of what is happening as this could be a serious health condition.
You could be having panic attacks. Having them this often and with any regularity is something that needs to be looked into. The other possibility is your heart going into what is called "A" fibrillation. While this is a serious condition many people also have lived with this condition for long times. In your case if this is a fibrillation issue your heart has self corrected. This still needs to be seen by a doctor. They will probably ask you to wear a monitor for a time so they can see when it happens.
To much caffeine can also cause heart fibrillation, so you might want to cut back on caffeinated drinks and make sure you are also eating balanced meals three times a day.
Most importantly you need to see a doctor NOW.
I babysat for my parents from nine p.m. until 3 a.m. My baby brother is nine months old. He woke up at midnight and did not go back to sleep even when my parents came home. My sister and I do not do good with my brother all by ourselves. My parents were all the way across town. The baby cried for two hours straight and did not want his pacifier or bottle. We did not hear anything from my parents until 3. They wouldn't answer their phones and came home TWO HOURS after I told them my brother was screaming crying nonstop.
They came home and did not have any sympathy at all. They told me I'm the babysitter and I needed to handle it, yet they know I'm not good with him. They treated me like the enemy, arguing with me what time it was and praising my sister, and refusing to acknowledge all the work I did taking care of him.
I am so sick of my parents. Every time I do something nice for them they never appreciate me, and I can never do anything right. They expect so much out of me and I hate their shit. They don't ever acknowledge anything about me. They always neglect me and hurt me physically and mentally.
I am tired of this. I feel ugly and useless everyday of my life. I feel like I am worthless because all they ever do is bring me down. I try talking to them but they won't listen.
Hi,I'm old enough to be your grandfather. I'm sorry you are being treated the way you feel you are. Let me assure you you are not ugly or useless, that I'm sure of.
As to your feelings of being abused. No child should be physically or mentally abused. Mental abuse is hard to prove; physical abuse is easier to prove as it leaves marks.
The best thing fro you to do is to talk to a teacher or your school principal about what is going on at home. They are legally obligated to report abuse to the proper authorities. If you have bruises, regardless of where on your body they are show them to your teacher, Principal or school nurse.
Your parents should not have left you home with a screaming infant for over two hours. My advice should this ever happen again; call your parents and tell them that they need to call you back and tell you what to do. If you don't hear from them in 10 minutes your calling 911 for help.
I wish I had a better answer for you or more help to offer you. The best answer is the one I have given you which is to talk to one of your teacher who you trust or the school principal. You have a right not to be abused; physically or mentally.
Trust me when I say you are a beautiful caring person; if you were not you would not have written to us.
I very much enjoy speaking with older people, I've never felt comfortable with people my own age. I have a 15 month old son who is my whole world. I have him to live for, but that doesn't stop my major depression. The anti-depressants aren't helping, neither is my panic medicine. Calling suicide hotlines doesn't really help me. Therapy isn't really helping. I don't want to get out of bed, don't want to move, but I want to get better for my son. The reason I was on here was because I was contemplating suicide, but I know that's stupid, and I am here for a reason. I am in college to be a chemical dependency counselor, and eventually a mental health counselor. My best friend committed suicide a few years back, leaving behind his one year old son. I am interested in opening up a mental health clinic in the future after I get my Ph.D. and was wondering, what is your personal experience with suicide? I can tell you have something because you've answered to many of the suicidal questions that I have read. And do you have any advice for me? I don't know why I feel like this, and I hope I don't do anything stupid.
I'll have you know I'm not old, just well aged, ha ha, but I am old enough to be your father and possible your grandfather.
To start with my only personal experience with suicide is really not a personal one, but dealing with others who had attempted suicide. I have spent many years as a first responder with a fire department rescue squad. We are called when some one is attempting or has completed the act of suicide. Then their is what my wife does for a living with the countries largest provider of mental health services. I am able to draw on her experience as well as my own experience as a first responder when answering these questions. Lastly there is my own compassion for people which is why I have put up with some of the agony of being a first responder.
I to suffer from depresion I'm sure you have seen that in my answers. There is a difference between being actively suicidal and suicidal addition. Being actively suicidal is when you have plans as to how and when. Suicidal ideation is somewhat like daydreaming about suicide. I'm not sure but in the deepest part of my depression I would talk about jumping in front of a freight train while talking with my therapist. If she felt I was actively suicidal rather than just having some type of ideational thoughts, or just making a point. I believe she would have booked me a room with comfortable walls.
As to the questions I chose to answer: I choose teenage sex questions so I can dispense truthful answers. In this day of parents who where so sexually active prior to marriage I am amazed at how many of their children that are so ill informed about sex and their bodies. I look to answer there questions as truthfully as I know how.
Mental Health questions: I think we have already answered that one. But as someone that suffers from a mental health issue and as I have great resources to answer these questions I feel somewhat obligated to do so.
The last set of questions I look for have to do with Rape, Abuse and Incest. These three issues happen more than we know. Rape and incest go unreported for long periods of time until the person who has suffered ends up in a therapist office suffering from depression.
Date rape is very common and girls are never sure what to do about it. I counsel that no is no and they need to report the rape.
There are all types of abuse other than physical abuse. I try to offer support and how to get out from under the abuse. The same holds for Incest. I have a number of referral organizations I can refer people to for help with any of these situations.
Now about you. I think you know suicide hurts so many others. For you, you would leave behind a son with no mother. So if for no one else you need to fight to get better for him and you can get better; I'm living proof of that.
You say your medication isn't working; see your doctor and ask for a change of medication. Who is prescribing, your family doctor or a psychiatrist. If it is your family doctor you need to see a psychiatrist. If you need a referral ask for one. Since it is a chemical imbalance in the brain that causes most depression the family doctor is not the proper doctor to prescribe and follow a patient with depression.
Therapy: In order for therapy to work you need to be comfortable with your therapist. If your not, it just doesn't work. I went through 3 therapists before finding my present therapist. She has been wonderful and taken me to places I never in tended to go. She has never forced me anywhere. She just, well I'm not sure, just one day it all came out.
My depression started, as far as I thought because of a auto accident and chronic pain resulting from it. In fact that was more like the straw that broke the camels back. I've found out a lot about myself through therapy and what I buried deep in the back of my mind. Yes, it hurt to unlock it, but it was hurting more to keep it locked up. The only reason I allowed it to come out is the trust she and I were able to build. This trust didn't happen overnight took several years before the chambers of horror opened, as I call them. Now that the door has opened we have dealt with them and I am a much better person.
My uneducated guess is you may still be suffering from untreated Postpartum Depression. This is treatable.
Find a new doctor if needed, get on new medication and find a new therapist, one you are comfortable with.
this is kinda weird but my boyfriend gave me this perfume (bvlgari jasmin noir) for my birthday and i was just being myself and went to check how much it costed online it's a 5ml and it said it's a tester which probably meant it was free, should i be upset about this?
Hi, I'm old enough to probably be your grandfather. I hope the wisdom of my age will help you with this question.
Have you ever heard the saying: "It is not the gift itself but the thought that counts".
Your boyfriend took the time to find a gift for you on your birthday. The fact that if might be a free sample is irrelevant. What is relevant is the time it took him to find a meaningful gift that he could afford. The fact that he may have found something that was free, well that means he just got lucky.
Hi!am the 50 piritons dude again,i live in kenya and my contacts are +254720729441.before the piritons i had tried many poisons.some are cockroach chalk,petrol,and others i cant remember due to issues i had with my wife and i have never gone to hospital cz am nt financially stable.physically i feel ok
I stand by what I wrote to you yesterday. You are in danger of doing yourself great physical harm and even dieing.
Either call the emergency number for your country or go to the nearest hospital. While I;m not sure of the laws and practices of Kenya it is a developing nation. I do not think you will be turned away once you tell the doctors what you have done to yourself.
I am pregnant again for this man.I told him I was pegnant like last time and basicly receive the same reception.He was very vacant and all of a sudden I can't come at his house because the neighbour's ask his wife if they had out of towners staying there.Yes he is married and so I'm I.I paid for the termination last time.
Like the others I'm not sure what the question is. What comes to mind first of all is the old saying; "You've made your bed now you must lie in it."
You have cheated on your husband and gotten pregnant twice. I'm not even going to go into the fact of the cheating, that is for your conscious to bear. But in this day and age to have an unwanted pregnancy is unconscionable and unforgivable.
Pregnancy termination is your choice, that is the law. My feelings do not enter into. The law says you have the right to terminate and I will not object to any lawful acts.
What I do object to is your cheating and becoming pregnant in the first place. The irresponsibility of both you and you adulterer boyfriend who is not stepping up and doing what is right. On r would think the first time this happened you would have learned what type of person he was and learned something . But for whatever reason you have you went back to him.
If you decide to terminate the is pregnancy, which I feel you will. Once you do I suggest you give great thought to terminating you marriage as well. You are cheating on your husband who hopefully is being faithful to you. This wrong in all sorts of ways. If you are unhappy in your marriage your husband deserve to know it and why. If the problem is something that can be worked on to correct then it is up to you two t do so if you both agree.
Fact is that cheaters are always discovered. Ad hurtful as it will be it will be less hurtful to hear about your cheating from you than a third party; especially if you wish to save your marriage.
If you were looking for some type of compassion from us, you just may have come to the wrong place. I don't think you'll find it here.
Last night was my first time having sex. It was protected sex because he wore a condom. When he was about to cum he pulled out. When he pulled out he started masturbating and it got on my stomach. I thought I could feel it running down y stomach ast my vagina and on to my bed. But Im so paranoid that the cum couldve got into my vagina and I could be pregnant and I am so scared. Everyone is telling me Im fine but I need some advice from someone who knows about this stuff and is for sure!
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather and I answer questions on teenage sex so that you can be assured of getting the correct and straightforward answers.
The chances of you becoming pregnant are minimal. As long as the sperm did not get into your vagina you will not get pregnant.
That answers your question; now for some grandfatherly advice. I am happy to see your boyfriend was responsible enough to use a condom. Until you are either married or in a long term monogamous relationship and have been tested, both of you, for STDs you should always make sure the man/boy uses a condom. Condoms are the best thing for the prevention of transmission of STDs; as for Birth Control they rank towards the bottom of the scale for effectiveness.
Hopefully you are an older teenager, but as long as you are over 13 you can visit a doctor and ask for birth control; either pill, an IUD or any form of Birth Control you and your doctor agree is best suited to you.
By law once you are 13 years old you are entitled to medical privacy. Meaning you can consult with and be treated by a doctor without parental consent. Yes I understand some states have laws concerning certain female conditions that require parental permission to treat. Most of those laws are enjoined or have been over turned in the courts.
I tell you this for if you are going to continue to have sex you should be protected against pregnancy. The best form of Birth Control is the Pill which has been proven to be 99% effective in preventing pregnancy.
I'm including the following link which I usually include with questions from girls contemplating sex for the first time. Based on your question I think it would be a good idea for you to review the information that this link can provide you.
http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/virginity/readyornot.html.
Now people probably see this kind of story all the time, but I am in a position where I constantly think I am overweight. I am 13, 5 feet 6 inches tall, and weigh 120 lb. But before continuing this let me get something straight. I am a very happy person with talent, friends, good grades, and I know I am pretty even if others tell me otherwise. So I am optomistic even despite the thoughts of being fat. I work out often, strive to eat right, etc. I am just wondering if anyone would be able to tell me if I am healthy. Thank you so much for your time with much love.
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather. I'm answering your question because I am hoping a little grandfatherly advise and wisdom will be useful to you.
At the end of this you will find a link to a height and weight chart for females. According to this chart you are at the very low end of the weight scale for your height.
Please do not start fixating on your weight at such and early age. The models we see in the magazine are not what you would see in real life and they are not of a healthy weight. While the world in general is bordering on obesity you are on the border of being under weight and could stand to gain a few pounds and may in fact gain some weight as you continue through puberty. You may not gain any weight as a result of puberty, but your body is changing and will continue to change for as much as 8 more years.
To eat healthy and exercise properly is what you should be doing to maintain a healthy body. To answer your question I would say you are healthy and if you gain a few pounds you would still be healthy.
I don't know why you are thinking you are fat? Your BMI, Body Mass Index is 19, which is optimal. Anything less than that is unhealthy. The BMI is a way of calculating your chances of health related problems related to weight.
You may want to think of doing some body toning; just remember that muscle weighs more than body fat.
http://www.healthchecksystems.com/heightweightchart.htm
HELP!My 16 yo son had 4 boys MUCH LARGER than him come to my house to beat him up. Luckily he wasn't home. They told him on the bus that's why they showed up. Now he won't ride the bus, doesn't want me to confront them or the parents. He said their finally leaving him alone (I don't know if he's telling me everything), and if I do it will get much worse. One boy who was a friend did this already and fought with him. It was put on the internet and he was mocked at school. I found this all out much after the fact. Now these boys want to fight him because my son called one of them fat playing online a wargame talking smack to eachother. These friends came over and I told me to have my son call him like they wanted to hang out. I am outraged and need to know if this has happened to anyone outthere and what action is the best. Leave it alone because it's dying down? Go meet them and let them know it's not tolerated and have things get worse? Call the cops and have things get worse? HELP!!!!!! My son is very thin and these boys are huge compared to him. What do I do?
Hi, I'm probably old enough to be your father. Hopefully the wisdom of my age will be helpful to you.
You need to report this to the School officials and the Police.
Bullying has become a major topic both in and out of school. One that both school officials and law enforcement are working on correcting and preventing.
Before going to the school principal and law enforcement download the video before it can be destroyed by the bullies. Then make copies of it and take it to the school Principal and leave a copy with him.
Where I live all Middle and High Schools have a Resource Officer; a County Police Officer who Patrols the Schools during the day. The Officers job is multi-faceted in that the Officer is there to keep order and to hopefully prevent trouble before it starts. If your school has a Law Enforcement Resource Officer ask that the Officer sit in on your meeting with the Principal. Also have a copy of the video available to leave with the Officer.
If the Officer ask you to sign a complaint, do so. Your job is to watch out for the well being of your child. Let their parents worry about their children.
I was in a similar position when my son decided to take an elective class in auto motive repair. This class required him to leave his home school for the central vo-tech school. Had I known this class was populated by all the bad apples from the disciplinary school next to it, I would not have allowed my son to take the class.
I had to press charges against a student, who told me "go head, I'll be home before the paperwork is done." Unfortunately for him I was and am very politically active and made sure he was remanded to the juvenile center." It was very satisfying to see him in tears as he was lead away in handcuffs.
I tell you this as you are your sons advocate. You must fight for him. Bullies understand two things; their power lies in their pack and most people will not challenge that power. When challenged the consequences have to be severe enough to make them back down. Your job is to not only challenge the bully but to ensure the Juvenile Justice System works for you in that it seeks to punish while seeking to change the behavior of the bully.
Please, help me! My 16 boy is very thin. He had a few friends and they were not good for him. Anyway, I thought he'd see it in time. Well, one of them came and fought him at my house and one videoed it. It got online and the teasing got worse. My son said if I do something it will get worse. Fast forward to today, my son has these boys picking on him at school and coming to my house in a group to fight. Luckily, he wasn't home but the boys saw me and told me they wanted to chill with him. HELP I want to beat the shit out of all of them.
Hi, I'm probably old enough to be your father. Hopefully the wisdom of my age will be helpful to you.
Zane has given you some excellent advice. Bullying has become a major topic both in and out of school. One that both school officials and law enforcement are working on correcting and preventing.
Before going to the school principal and law enforcement download the video before it can be destroyed by the bullies. Then make copies of it and take it to the school Principal and leave a copy with him.
Where I live all Middle and High Schools have a Resource Officer; a County Police Officer who Patrols the Schools during the day. The Officers job is multi-faceted in that the Officer is there to keep order and to hopefully prevent trouble before it starts. If your school has a Law Enforcement Resource Officer ask that the Officer sit in on your meeting with the Principal. Also have a copy of the video available to leave with the Officer.
If the Officer ask you to sign a complaint, do so. Your job is to watch out for the well being of your child. Let their parents worry about their children.
I was in a similar position when my son decided to take an elective class in auto motive repair. This class required him to leave his home school for the central vo-tech school. Had I known this class was populated by all the bad apples from the disciplinary school next to it, I would not have allowed my son to take the class.
I had to press charges against a student, who told me "go head, I'll be home before the paperwork is done." Unfortunately for him I was and am very politically active and made sure he was remanded to the juvenile center." It was very satisfying to see him in tears as he was lead away in handcuffs.
I tell you this as you are your sons advocate. You must fight for him. Bullies understand two things; their power lies in their pack and most people will not challenge that power. When challenged the consequences have to be severe enough to make them back down. Your job is to not only challenge the bully but to ensure the Juvenile Justice System works for you in that it seeks to punish while seeking to change the behavior of the bully.
I have a pimple like thing on my labia. It showed up the morning after having sex. STD's are not a concern with my partner or I. How could I get rid of this pimple like thing? It hurts very badly, even to sit, where underwear, jeans, wipe, etc.
all suggestions are welcome as long as you don't try to diagnose me with some STD, just options and oppinions of what to do. please and thank you.
Hi, I'm old enough to be you grandfather and when it comes to maters of sex and sexual related questions asked; I try to tell it as it is. Straight forward and truthfully.
So you don't want to hear that this could be an STD. Wrong answer. Let me ask you a question. Did you boyfriend have a cold sore? Did you two have oral sex? If the answer is yes to both, you may have an STD. A cold sore is a Herpes virus. I am not making a diagnoses as I am not a doctor and I would have to examine you to make a diagnoses. I am making you aware of the act of what may be possible.
It also could be an ingrown hair, a reaction to your boyfriends condom, if he used one or the spermicide on the condom if it had one.
Since it is causing you so much pain the proper thing to do it either tell your mom and let her suggest what to do. You do not have to be having sex to get a pimple, or a wart on your labia, or see a doctor.
If you are over 13 years old you can see your doctor with total confidentiality, meaning your doctor can tell no one not even your parents without your written permission. This is the law past by congress and called HIPPA. To violate your confidence in any manner results in big fines and jail time for the doctor. So tell the doctor everything and answer the doctors questions fully and truthfully. Remember also nothing you could have done will be new to the doctor.