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I caught my mom cheating
this may be long. sorry but i need help..
my phone got stolen a few weeks ago so I have been using the house phone to talk to my boyfriend. well the other night he was out to dinner with his friends so i went and got my moms phone to text him. She has about 300 unread emails, and she got a new one. I didn't want the LED light to be flashing since I was using it to know when my bf texts me. So i was gonna open then close the email.
Turns out it was from her "lover."
This isn't the first time I have "caught" her. When I was in about 7th grade, I opened up her email thinking it was mine and read some stuff. Showed my sister, she talked to her whatever. I was young.
Well this time, I showed my sister, and she told me to reply to it. So I did, saying "this is ___ daughter, you better pray my dad, sister and I never find you."
We decided to leave his and my email on her phone so she can see. The next day she came and said "you sister thinks im cheating on your dad?" and i said we read the emails blah blah blah and that I'm the one who emailed him back. She was shocked.
The emails weren't anything sexual but she did say she "loved him more" and that they should meet up.
Turns out he works where my mom does. My mom cleans offices (as do i, at the same place) and she "ran into him."
shes lying. the one email said "i want more of your sweet kisses" from him. her excuse "he gave me a kiss on the cheek."
the emails never said "i had fun with you" ect. She told my dad she had a "crush" on him when she worked somewhere else a few years ago. so it might be true that she "ran into him" and hasnt been "seeing" him long.
So, idk how I feel. Its no surprise that my mom is unhappy. they fight and she use to tell us "when you guys are both 18 im leaving your dad" well im now 19 soon to be 20 and my sister is 23.
Like my sister is all upset and cant believe this is happening, as to where I am just like "okay." I haven't cried, yelled or anything. Tonight both my dad and sister were "yelling" at my mom and I just sat here. I haven't called her names, the only thing I said was "i don't want to talk to you" but I love my mom, i'm a mommys girl.
I don't know if its just not hitting me yet or I have a better control of myself. she left the house tonight, wont pick up her cell, probably bc im calling from the house, and I have no idea where shes at. I'm worried.
Do you guys think something is wrong with me bc I "dont care" about her cheating? yes, its wrong and she shouldn't have. But at the same time im like whatever....:\
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I think you and your sister need to let your parents solve the problem on their own and no I don't think you should have read your mom's text messages or answered them for her that's a violation of privacy next time if you see one of her texts I suggest you don't even open them and if you do by accident don't read it how would you feel if your mom did that to you? No I don't think there is anything for not having any emotions about your mom cheating on your dad you probally just shocked and scared by the situation and by the way those are emotions. I hope i've helped you with your problem.
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Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather. Hopefully the wisdom that comes with age will be helpful to you.
What is happening with your mother and her friend and your mom and dad are two separate but joined issue's. I think you are old enough to understand how that can be.
It is hard for any child, regardless of age, to understand why a parent is cheating on their spouse. it is almost as hard to understand why the spouse is putting up with it.
What is important to understand that this is an issue that is between your parents and not you and your siblings. There is nothing that you or they did to cause the cheating and nothing you can do to stop it.
What is also important to understand is whatever is happening between you parents does not in anyway effect there feelings for you and siblings. You are their children and they love you. They maybe caught up in their own problems to the point that they may not show their love to your satisfaction. It does not mean they have lost their love for their children. I know of no parent who has ever lost their love for their children.
Liking someone and loving someone are two entirely different thoughts and emotions. A parent can at times not like a child. Your mother may not like you or your sister for violating her privacy and reading her text messages but she has not stopped loving you. Do not confuse the two.
I don't think there is anything wrong with you for having no emotions about the cheating. In fact by having no emotion you are in fact having some. I believe you are just overwhelmed by all of this and this is how you are dealing with it. By in a sense shutting it out. Not the best way to deal with it but it is a form of self protection.
My advice: This is a problem your parents need to workout. You and your sister need to stay out of it. There is nothing you can do to fix it. You have made your feelings known and that is all you can do.
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Unlike the other answer, I am not going to tell you that you were wrong for reading her emails, I am not writing to express my feelings about that as that isn't what you were asking.
I think people react differently to different situations whether it be about family issues, someone passing away .. anything. No two people react exactly the same, so your reaction shouldn't be anything to worry about.
I do think however, your mum is wrong for saying she is going to leave your dad when you and your sister are 18. Parents split up all the time but dragging something out and potentially messing around behind someones back will only end in tears. If your mum is unhappy, you and your sister should support her AND your dad regardless. They are your parents, after all.
I hope this helps.
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You were wrong, You should of kept out of your mothers business.
There may be more behind the situation involving your mother and father than you know. You were wrong to reply, You were wrong for showing your sister. Whether you like it or not, Your mother is not entitled to be in a marriage if she isn't happy. As I understand your upset with her for cheating, This is a situation that should be between your mother and father. The way you approached the situation was wrong.
What you could of done instead: Was approach your mother and express how the emails made you feel and your concerns on the situation, Not reply.
I think your mother is wrong for not being honest with your father about seeing someone else.
Your mother is unhappy because she was caught red handed, She's guilty but on the other hand she wasn't caught by her husband..She was caught by her daughter. My advise: From here on out let her and your father handle the situation and stay out of it.
EDIT: You don't like the truth, Then don't ask. Obviously you are too immature to hear it.
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