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i know or i think i'm being used and why is it hard to leave ? =( help!
ok so first, i'm 21, i met this exchange student at my university, he's at class with me, we started dating and i saw he was interested, i was a virgin, i lost my virginity to him, i'm pretty sure he isnt seeing other girls other than me, but i dont get it, when im with him he's the sweetest guy EVER he holds my hand always holds me and kisses me even at night when i stay at his he always holds me (eventho i dont like being hold when sleeping) or he holds my hand when we're asleep, sweet things like that...but we have been seeing each other since mid january, he will leave in may, a long distance realtionship isnt an option and i dont even know if we have a relationship now, but sometimes i feel he just wants to see me for sex, sometimes i go 4 days without knowing of him, and i get the feeling when im online on facebook chat he instantly goes offline, i'm almost sure this is no coincidence.. i dont know what to do or how to bring it up ... he sees me in class and kisses me after class and usually makes plans like hey do you wanna go for a movie tomorrow maybe :) and hes really sweet, but then i go days without knowing of him speaking to him or even a text, if i text him he texts back, but that's it, i dont know what to do, how do i end this? i dont know how to tell him that i dont know if we were dating or not but i dont like things to be this casual and not exclusive cause he could easily be dating someone else at the same time cause he has no commitment with me, and still i feel STUPID for asking for commitment when he is leaving SO soon or an explanation of what are we ? bf gf? friends who have sex ? we arent exactly friends tbh... deep down i feel, it isnt a bf gf relationship, so id feel dumb by asking him, cause it feels like just a hook up friends with benefits or something but i have NEVER been in this situation this is so unlike me ! i wanna end it cause i dont like feeling like when i see his friends i once heard them speaking about me they didnt knew i was there (the guy wasnt there, i only heard his friends ) like saying that i was hot and talking about my body etc, so i can only imagine what they think like yeaaa man you're sleeping with this hot girl with no strings attached ;)! and id HATE for something like that to be thought by others to be honest but im pretty sure its the case :S cause we are not in a relationship on facebook, his guys friends know we go out and all that but still i feel uncomfortable by maybe being looked as the girl who hooks up with his friend :S i feel i dont ask him for anything and i dont know what to do !! also i feel so awkward when people like his friends or people in class ask if we are dating! and hes close there and i ignore i was asked that question and he once answered yes to "is she your gf" but i saw it kind of doubtful in his voice! i felt he just said yes because i was there! (ALSO we once spoke about this, like how in france you dont ask a girl if she wants to be your gf, you just assume she is already after a period of time you've been dating, and i told him that for us it was different (hes french, im mex) that for us we always have to know where are we standing one does not assume you have a gf or bf , you have to be asked, but we werent talking about US , just about things in general so i feel i missed my chance or maybe he meant to say we were considered bf gf? idk :( ) i dont know how to bring the subject up !!!
from one part i wanna end it cause i feel deep down used,,but on the other part i feel, i dont care i love having sex with him cause he is SO attractive, and ive never ever thought this way tbh and ive dated hotter guys before but theres something about him that makes me feel so good when he holds me eventho i know he may not have feelings for me cause he has never said anything like that besides that im beautiful and very pretty etc. but never like ....idont know meaninful stuff...
from one part i wanna end it , on the other i think..he is leaving soon so im gonna enjoy while it lasts, but i dont wanna be seen as the girl he's hooking up with !! but at the same time i am enjoying sleeping with him ! and i dont know what to do please i really need some advice my head is so messed up!!! sorry its long :(
how could i bring the subject up?! because i feel we have just a hook up relationship sometimes ! so i would feel stupid by bringing the subject of a relationship up :S
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Instead of mentioning a relationship, try instead to mention a "hook up, just sex thing". If he seems happy with it, you have your answer. Its a dirty trick, buy so is his. Then of course you could be a closet masochist. Im serious, some girls like being the used hooker, just dont admit it.
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Have you ever heard the old saying "He's just not that into you?"
If he was interested in you then he would make time to talk to you. Nobody is busy to the point where they can't make a 5 minute phone call a day to see how someone is doing. If he says so, That's a bullshit excuse. I am a full time college student, I study and I got a job as a DJ on the side but you know what else? I still make time to see my partner.
You said it, The guy isn't fully committed to you and your pretty much wasting your breathe with this one. If you have to ask if you are in a relationship then you aren't in one because if you were you would know it. If you want to end things you simply tell him "Sorry it took so long for me to tell you but I don't think we are going to work out. I would of told you sooner but I wasn't sure how to word it" It's direct and simple. If you want someone who is committed to you then you have to put behind what you've got in order to find it.
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