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Iam interested in being with an older man
ok so here it goes I like this guy that goes to the mental health center that I go to and iam 22 years old and he's 40 years old and the manager there says we can't date each other becouse of the age difference what should I do?
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Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather and I hope the wisdom that comes with age will be helpful.
Let me put another spin on this scenario for you.
You two have met at a mental health center; while there is nothing wrong with that neither of you truly know why the other is being treated for. The manger of the treatment center may know why you are both there but buy law cannot tell either of you why the other is there.
Just for conversation lets look at why someone 40 years old would want to date some one 18 years his junior. The first thing that jumps out is that he is old of enough to be your father and maybe only a few years younger or even the same age as one of your parents.
When I see this I see someone who is either a child molester or has a fixation on child molestation. By dating women such as you he legally get to satisfy his fixation. by you dating him you are enabling him not helping him with his fixation.
This may be what is on the managers mind when he told you that you cannot date this man. By law he cant tell you any of what I proposed as a possibility and the man you want to date would never tell you that.
Will this man hurt you? Physically I don;t think so. Emotionally he will when you become to old to satisfy his fixation as a child molester.
My advise: Follow the managers advise and find someone else. You will only be hurt emotionally by this man.
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You should not date him.
Sure, it's legal and maybe they couldn't stop you, but it's a horrible idea.
It's a horrible idea because at forty years old he should want a different things from a relationship than you do at 22. If he doesn't, that's a serious problem. If he, at forty, sees you as a viable partner, than he is more likely than not, a not great person for you to be with.
Add to that the fact that you both need to access services at this Mental Health Centre, and that the people there (who know you both well) have said it's an awful idea... I think you need to accept that although it's fine to have a crush on someone, pursuing this particular crush would be a very, very bad idea.
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As long as you keep your relationship outwith the center and dont let your relationship influence any aspect of the work you are doing there then i dont see this as a problem. I could see why the manager wouldn't want fellow patients/staff members dating but when it comes to forbidding any sort of relationship for purely personal reasons that does not impact upon the center in any way, i.e difference in age, he doesn't have a say. It really is none of his business.
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You are an adult, Nobody can't tell you whom and who you cannot date. If the manager doesn't like the idea of you two having a relationship then take it outside the mental health center. Nobody needs to know your business you are both adults and you make your own choices.
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