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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
so me and my boyfriend WANT to have sex, were going to use protection and everything, we have talked about it.
last weekend i had the house to myself, he came over...
but we he went to put it in i froze up and it was very painful, he didnt even have it in.. is there something wrong with me?
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather; hopefully the wisdom that comes with age and life experiences will be helpful.
Julie75's answer is most likely the correct answer. There is also another answer that comes to mind; which is you subconsciously may feel you are not ready for sex and your body may overriding you conscious thoughts. It's all very psychologically based.
You say you and your boyfriend WANT to have sex; do you feel pressured at all by your boyfriend to have sex? This is a key question as to how you feel about a sexual relationship.
Boys very often almost to a fault mistake lust for love. Boys need very little to no stimulation in order to make love. Where as for a girl there most always be some form of loving relationship before they enter into a sexual relationship. Girls almost never mistake lust for love.
Girls, especially for a first time encounter must be stimulated and relaxed be for she will allow a boy to penetrate her. Most young boys do not know how to make love. They have one goal when having sex which is to climax in you.
I don't think anything is wrong with you. I think that subconsciously you may not be ready to have sex and are doing so for possibly the wrong reasons. You wouldn't be the first and won't be the last girl to do so. Your current boyfriend is most likely not going to be the boy you marry; so why allow him to coerce you into giving him your most precious gift? There are other way to satisfy his sexual needs while you make sure he is the one you want to give your virginity to.
The following website is one I usually recommend to girls that write to us who are questioning if the are ready. Since you are having trouble being penetrated and it is my feeling you may not be ready; I think you should look at this site before you try again.
http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/virginity/readyornot.html.
I live in a house with no interior rooms and no basement. Our house has been here for ages through other tornadoes as well so I assume it's fairly sound, but what can my family do?
We don't have any ditches that aren't under power lines, either, and we're under watch for a tornado tonight. Our bathtub/bathroom in on an exterior wall, as well. We have sturdy furniture to be under, but if the room we're in is blown away what difference does it make?
Hi, I'm probably old enough to be your grandfather; hopefully the wisdom that comes with age and life experiences will be helpful.
First I feel the need to explain something as it is important not to panic.
A Tornado Watch: means that conditions exist within the approaching storm to form a tornado; but a tornado has not been spotted on radar or by a qualified observer.
A Tornado Warning Means: That a Tornado has been spotted. You will be told where the tornado is, its direction of travel and the towns in the tornado's direction of travel. People in the path of the tornado will be told to seek cover.
Given the conditions you wrote about; the best advise I can give you is to go to a closet in the center of the house. Get on the floor of the closet, cover yourself with pillows and blankets and close the door. Do not come out of the closet until you hear the all clear. If you have a battery operated portable radio take that with you and listen to the news to see when the storm and tornado has passed your area.
A closet in the middle of your house is going to be the safest place given what you have written.
16/f
recently, I've been feeling kind of down and I get kind of aggravated easily. I've even started snapping at people, and if you knew me, you'd know that I rarely do that. In fact, I'm a reserved person and prefer to do things on my own and I like being alone a good portion of the time too, sitting in front of my computer writing and watching random things. Well, I'm wondering if maybe it's the birth control pills I'm on? But I've been on those for a month now and I just started to feel kind of irritable and lousy in general. It started maybe yesterday or earlier today?
It's just the pills, right? Or maybe I'm just really in a bad mood? I feel like I just want to be completely left alone, I don't even want to talk to my boyfriend and it's starting to bother me because I know I love him and I don't want to push him away or anything... And it doesn't help that all my friends are basically talking to me, but not listening to me. Maybe I just need a break from everything?
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather; hopefully the wisdom that comes with age and life experiences will be helpful.
Short answer to your question: It is possible as Birth Control Pills do mess with the body chemistry(Hormones) to some extent. The fact that you have been on birth control for months makes this unlikely.
Most likely you are suffering what I call typical teenage blues, caused most likely by the fickleness of puberty. Yes, puberty is still having its effects on you and will continue to do so for several more years.
You could be in a bad mood because of something you may have consciously dismissed as trivial, maybe subconsciously bothering you. There are a lot of reasons we get into bad moods many a time we don't even know the reason for ourselves. Best thing to do at those times is to just ride it out.
If your mood doesn't improve in a day or two then it may be a sign your body is telling you that something is wrong and you need to see a doctor. You may have some type of infection that you have yet to feel the pain of or your body is at the end of its ability to handle on its own and needs some medication to help.
I am a young single mother of a 13 month old, looking for a job, and living with my parents. I am stuck in the house most of the time with little to no help (besides financial support which I am completely appreciative of) from anyone else. I am naturally a people person, but now im usually alone unless I get to go out once or twice on the weekend.
I know I'm lucky to be taken care of by my parents, but for the past month I've been starting to feel depressed. Im turning to alcohol more (when im out, not around the baby), been breaking out from stress, been sad & guilty feeling, and feeling like I could break down at any moment. I dont feel like myself.
Then, friday night, I drank way too much to the point of not remembering some things,and ended up letting this guy have his way with me. I know he had a condom on though, but I know its not 100% safe. I regret it so much and even though he took advantage of me when I was extremely trashed, I know I was probably willing at the time. I feel so guilty, horrible, disgusted with myself...etc. I just want to cry & cry. Only 2 people know and I cried it out to them, but I dont want anyone else to know.
Basically, I dont know what to do with myself. I feel so depressed. I already decided not to drink. Should I see a therapist? Do you guys think im becoming depressed? My dad has extreme depression and anxiety (i dont see him).and both of his parents were as well, but could genetics play a part?
thanks :(
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather; hopefully the wisdom that comes with age and life experiences will be helpful.
Even though your child is 13 months old you may be be suffering from postpartum depression. Whether it is postpartum depression or just regular depression you should seek treatment.
You start by seeing your family doctor first to be screened for depression, then follow the doctors instructions. Depression is an inherited disorder so it is possible you will suffer from it as well. Make sure to advice your doctor of this fact.
I'm currently 17 years old, I've been seeing a psychologist for about a year now. My psychologist has diagnosed me with depresson and a small social anxiety disorder. I was prescribed Lexapro as an anti-depressant, which I was going to start taking (this was about...7 months ago) but I never did because I was too worried about side effects and such (I can be verrry paranoid), so I just told my doctor I wanted to try to work it out on my own. But anyway, that's just a little background.
Lately I've been wondering if there's more that's wrong with me, though. For example, I don't necessarily fight a lot, but when I do get angry I can get reeally angry. Sometimes I just get random bursts of this almost uncontrollable anger where I just feel like I can't control. I don't ever hit or throw anything really, but boy do I feel like it. I tend to get irritated very easily; even the smallest, slightest thing that someone is doing or saying can just really irritate me and put me in a bad mood. It's like I have no patience. I also tend to over analyze a lot. For example, I can spend hours analyzing and thinking about the way someone responded to a question I asked, or a statement they said. It's insane! Not only is it a waste of time, it distracts me doing important tasks and also causes me to overcomplicate relationships and such. I can go for a really long time without eating, but then when I do eat it's almost like I can't stop. Even if I'm extremely full, I could just continue eating and eating for no reason. My moods go up and down like a roller coaster, also. I can get extremely depressed for a couple hours, and then after a while and I can like a really strong high and do crazy things. I can go from being unstoppable and extremely confident to extremely deppressed and suicidal in no time.
Sorry that was so long, I'm just sort of confused about all of this. My psychologist never really says anything about any of it other than depression, so I was just wondering? Thanks for any advice, input, etc. !
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather; hopefully the wisdom that comes with age and life experiences will be helpful.
Lexapro was and is a drug approved for administration to younger patients suffering from depression. There are very few, according to the article I read only two, drugs FDA approved fro teenage depression. The side effects of a drug do not effect every person the same, some people report no side effects from a drug or only suffering them for a short time while their body gets accustomed to having the drug in it.
You are approaching the age where you can have adult antidepressant drugs; a change in medication may be possible at this time.
As someone who suffers from depression I can tell you with certainty that antidepressants do work. With the medication doing its job you can face the problems you wrote about much more forthright with your talk therapist.
I do believe you need to speak to a psychiatrist to be put on the proper medication. A psychiatrist is the best doctor to prescribe this medication as depression is generally caused by a hormonal imbalance of two hormones that work in the brain.
You also need to talk to a psychiatrist about the different mood swings you wrote about as these are signs of a different type of depression which would require different medication and treatment.
I am a person who is very reluctant to take pills. Due to a car accident I also suffer from chronic pain which is the cause of my depression. My pain doctor and I once had a knock down drag out fight over my not taking extra, they call it breakthrough medication, when I needed it. It took him, working with my therapist forever to convince me to take this medication when I needed it. What I learned was that if you take medication when the body needs it, you give the body a chance to heal. By not taking your antidepressants you are not giving your body a chance to heal itself.
The side effects of a medication can be temporary. If they continue to be a problem the doctor can try a different medication. Your goal is to heal yourself. To do so you need to be compliant with the doctors direction as well as forthright with the doctor(s) in in saying when something is wrong or effecting you in away you don't like.
By working with your doctor, telling your doctor everything that is not right; no mater how trivial you think it may be. This is how you get better.
The reason your psychologist talks only about depression is most of what you have written about are symptoms of depression. The eating binges, the mood swings, being lethargic, anger and everything else are all part of your depression. While I hate to harp on it, medication will help with most if not all of this. Once the symptoms are under control you and your psychologist can work at getting at the root cause of your depression.
I said in the beginning it was an auto accident that caused my depression. That is only partly true; the accident was the trigger. With medication and through therapy my therapist and I worked to find the root cause which was buried much deeper.
I'm 18f and I'm 5 foot; My boyfriend is 6'1; We usually have sex with me on bottom, and I get bored. I like to take controll sometimes as well, and I have a hard time reaching the "0". I never have actually, so I figured new positions would help. We tried me on top, and It won't stay in, it's always coming out, and I try to go slow, and not move up as much but it still manages to come out. My boyfriend is 7 1/2 inches, so I don't think his size is why.
When we do it Doggy Style, it doesn't work, at all. Literally.No matter how much I spread my legs apart, or even bring my body up, he can never get it in, or even keep it in,
Any advice on some good sex positions, or even some tips to help me reach the "O" he's always getting his, which I don't mind, but I'd like to get mine for once, ya know?
Thankss!
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather; hopefully the wisdom that comes with age and life experiences will be helpful.
Before I dive into an area of any advice I would like to review some advice I give to women who are having sex for the first time. I feel some of this advise is important to getting the most from sexual intercourse for a women.
Are you having sex in a place that is secure from intrusion. Meaning are you rushing through sex for fear of being interrupted or being caught by one of your parents, or roommates.
Are you having a sex in a place that is comfortable both to you and for you. In my day the favorite place to have sex was the back seat of the old mans Chevy. My wife now tells me that for her and other women this was not very comfortable place for having sex.
Guys can get off almost anyplace. They don't worry as much about being caught as all they need to do is put it back in their pants and zip up. For a women it takes more to put herself back together. Getting caught is always a distraction, even to married couples with children.
Comfort, both your personal comfort and your comfort with where you are having sex is also important. As I said if you are uncomfortable this is going to be a distraction to and for you.
Assuming that you are in a safe place and comfortable; the problem is most likely that you are more clitoral than vaginal. If this is the problem their are two ways to help you have better sex with your boy friend.
To find out if you are more clitoral you should find a place where you can masturbate in private. There is nothing wrong with masturbation, according to a recent survey nearly 95 percent of the population masturbate. It is something we all do to each other during foreplay as well.
The reason I am telling you to do this is you can control how you touch yourself during masturbation. Stimulate you clitoris primarily during masturbation. If you hit that big O during masturbation the problem is 50% solved. Now all you need to do is teach your boyfriend how to touch you and stimulate you during foreplay. He will have to pay greater attention to your needs during foreplay as well. You may also need to extend the time you spend having foreplay until you are sufficiently excited.
To get the greatest enjoyment from sex both partners need to communicate. Moaning does not really tell your partner anything, you need to verbalize your needs. Touch me here, lick me there, don't do that, pinch me here and so on. He too needs to tell you what his needs are.
When I first met my wife she gave a horrible handjob; hard to believe but true. I had to teach her what I liked and how to give one without rubbing me raw; she too had to teach me what she liked. None of us are mind readers that is why in anything we do, sex included, communication is important. How is your boyfriend going to know what your needs are if you do not tell him and show him what you want. You also need to ask him what he likes and does not like.
Below is a website link I found that has some positions you might want to try which offers greater clitoral stimulation.
http://ezinearticles.com/?3-Amazing-Sex-Positions-That-Allow-For-Maximum-Clitoral-Stimulation!&id=2891888
im 20/f and i've never been on a date, not even one. however there's this friend who i would like to go on a date with. we're not that close but he's really friendly when we see each other. I don't wanna go on a date because i like him. i just wanna go on a real date for once. is it okay for a girl to ask for a date, or should i just be implying it? and how should i do that? im also reaaaaaaallly reaaaaaaally bad at flirting! plz help!
You could try asking if he would like to come over for diner, that is if you are a good cook. That settles the problem of who cooks. Its still a date, its a dinner date where you cook for him.
18/f
My boyfriend and I had sex plenty of times before. Every time he finishes, his penis is usually sore and his erection goes down in seconds. Just recently, afterwards he still had an erection, but was still really sore, and the tip of his penis stung. That used to not happen before.... He searched it up on google, but nothing had his problems.
When he went to go urinate, it stung a little bit, and he told me the next morning it still kind of hurts now. But the sting and the soreness usually disappears in a day (that's how it's always been with him) So right now, he says he's not sure if it's because it's so sore that it seems like it stings? But he's very worried... There's nothing wrong with me, so I'm confused.
He used to have some erection problems when we first did it. It would go down randomly in the middle of intercourse, or sometimes it would go down even before going in. He's not on medication for anything, it was always like that. But now we're not having that problem anymore... We're having this problem now... Anyone know what's going on? Help please?
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather; hopefully the wisdom that comes with age and life experiences will be helpful.
Your boyfriend should see a Urologist ASAP. If you are using condoms or spermicides and have recently changed brands he should bring a sample of each with him. He could be suffering an allergic reaction or something more serious so he should not delay in making an appointment.
I would also suggest refraining from having sex until he see' the Urologist.
My son is 4 years old not even close to 5 yet. He is involed in a pre school. He has a speech problem which got better with speech therepy but his ear drum had burst and they put new tubes in but his speech has gotten worse again. He doesnt try or doesnt even focus in school. His teacher and speech teacher say they know he could do it and get better if hed just try. I cut the sugar way down in his diet no soda or anything. he can have a little sugar like every other day. His behavior is awful you can tell him the same thing 20 times and he still wont listen. if he finds something he likes hell do it. he unloaded a truck of wood the other day then swept the truck out didnt want any help and did it all him self. wouldnt stop until it was all done. hes a good kid i just dont know what to do about his behavior its getting so hard to handle. I think he has ADHD his doctor thinks so to. He did blood work that showed his thyriod elevated and is sending him to a Behavioral clinic to be evaluated. but all this stuff takes so long.
Hi, I'm old enough to be a grandfather to most of the people that write to us. Hopefully the wisdom that comes with age and life experiences will be helpful.
The two other advisers have given you some very good advise. The only thing I can so is to bear out there advise with some of my own.
Teachers have a tough job, especially today inlight of budget cutting. Medicating a child is an expedient way of solving a problem for them. It may be expedient but not always the best way or even the correct way.
While your son is at an age that ADHD would start to exhibit itself, so would other problems that mimic ADHD. You need to have you son properly evaluated a part from those who would be evaluating him for the school. It is my believe that the school evaluators rely more on the teachers evaluations then taking the time to do a proper evaluation on there own. Knowing this the teachers provide an evaluation that will get them the determination they want. Then you are advised to see your family doctor for medication based on their evaluation.
Don't do that. Seek out your own doctors. You need to have your son evaluated by a child psychiatrist. This is the only doctor qualified to make this determination. When seeking a child a child psychiatrist you want a doctor who is certified by the college of Psychiatry and Board Certified. In many states any Medical doctor who has completed a residency in psychiatry can practice psychiatry. This is what I recommend you seek out a doctor the is both board certified and a member of the College of Psychiatrists.
I'm not saying the behavioral clinic is the wrong way to go, just make sure the people evaluating him are properly certified to do so.
ok well when my bf uses a condom i am only 12 so how much would sex hurt ???????
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather; hopefully the wisdom that comes with age and life experiences will be helpful.
Three of the other four adviser have told you you are too young to be having sex. I'm going to make four out of five. What is your rush. Sex is not a game or something to pass the time with. You can't be more than in sixth or seventh grade, that's still middle school.
You should be more concerned with things like how to kiss a boy. What clothes to wear, hair styling and maybe makeup. SEX, no way. Has your school even had you in a sex education class? I don't think you have reach the grade where that is taught.
I usually recommend a particular website for girls to look at that are thinking of having sex for the first Tim. Given you age I am very hesitant to do so as I do not want to encourage you to have sex at your age. On the other hand I am hoping that you will read the areas on "first time sex" and "Am I ready", and heed the advice the give to wait until you are older. So please read and think about what you read before you start having sex. You are way to young to be doing so.
http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/virginity/readyornot.html.
Hi my boyfriend wants to have sex but i keep telling him no we are to young and he says if i dont he will break up with me and i love him what do i do?
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather; hopefully the wisdom that comes with age and life experiences will be helpful.
If your boyfriend is pressuring you to have sex within or he will leave you; point him to the closest door. He is not in love with you and you can find someone who will respect you.
This is an important lesson, not just for sex but a life lesson. Never compromise your values to satisfy someone else's needs or desires. The one thing in life that are truly ours are our values. When you allow someone to force you to compromise on your values you are giving up one of your most valuable possessions.
If I were you I would not give in on this subject for as I said he is not in love with you; he is in lust for you. He wants you to satisfy his sexual needs. There are other ways to do this for him without compromising your values or giving up your virginity.
If I am correct in my thinking, once he has conquered you and coerced you in to giving in to him; he will be looking for other mountains (girls) to conquer. It is in your best interest to tell him to get lost and for you top find someone who not only loves you but respects you.
me and my bestfriend have decided we like eachother in a way that most people thinks wrong. we're both girls, i'm fifteen and she's sixteen, and we've ended up making out and doing little things when we're really drunk but we don't know what else you can do? we're going to try doing something sober to see if it's for us, but we don't know what to do, as we're both slightly uncomfertable with going down on eachother as its just a bit weird, and like, i don't know. we just need something to do but we're unsure of what girls can do with eachother. suggestions welcome! thankyou(: xxx
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather; hopefully the wisdom that comes with age and life experiences will be helpful.
I don't like to put label on things especially sexuality at your present age. It is not unusual for girls or boys to experiment with sex between two people of the same sex. It is part of the process of figuring out your sexuality.
What is most important about sex be it girl/girl or girl/boy is it be consensual between both parties. That is a rule to live by from puberty to death. Both parties in any sexual situation have to consent to whatever it is you want to do or try. Without consent it could be Rape or at the very least not very satisfying for one party. As long as both parties consent then nothing you do or try is weird as long as it is done in private and no one is physically harmed.
Now the grandfather in me feels a lecture coming on: Both of you are way to young to be drinking and getting drunk. I know the attraction alcohol has for young people. I may be old but I'm not naive on this subject. I dealt with it the same as my father did. My son was allowed to drink at home in front of me without any problems. He was in trouble if I caught him drinking outside my home or view.
There are very good reasons there are laws against teenage drinking. As a volunteer fire fighter I have seen the results of teenage drinking. I would have loved to have teenage drinkers and teenage drunk drivers sentenced to ride along with us on the rescue squad on weekends. These are the times when we would have to rescue teenagers from their bent and smashed cars. Sometimes it is a body recovery and not a rescue. At those times I wondered who had the worse job, us or the Police Officers that have to make the notification to the parents.
Take a minute and think about this. It is 3AM and two Police Officers knock on the door of your parents home. Your father answers the door. He knows without the officers saying a word to him that you have either died in a car accident or in a the hospital, the result of an accident most likely caused by drunk driving. How do you think your father feels at that moment?
Teenagers are not mature enough to handle the effects of alcohol, this is why there are laws against teenage drinking. A teenager like everything else in life needs to learn how to drink responsibly and that is why I chose to let my son drink at home where I could monitor his drinking.
It is not cool to drink, things happen when your drunk. Date rape is the most common think to happen to a girl when she is drunk. It happens when she is either passed out or her inhibitions are so reduced that she puts up little or no resistance.
I've seen and dealt with it all being on a rescue squad. Drinking lowers your inhibitions, makes you feel as if you can conquer the world and no harm can come to you. The next thing you know someone like me is standing over you and you hear the jaws of life tearing at the car trying to free you from the wreckage.
Yea, I'm painting a pretty bad picture, but you know what? This is the picture that turns into reality about 90% of the time for teenagers that drink. It may not be you to day, but if you continue to drink as a teenager you may just meet me or someone like me in the near future.
My family is very stern about meeting the guys I date. I usually wait to see how the relationship goes before I introduce them to each other. In the past my boyfriends have gotten along good with my family, but I am nervous about this one. My boyfriend has red orange hair and I am afraid my parents will judge me. They've always made jokes about people with orange colored hair and I don't want to be teased. I want my boyfriend to feel comfortable, more so. He's very sweet and I want my parents to see how happy he makes me. But I am scared they'll be so mean. Any advice?
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather; hopefully the wisdom that comes with age and life experiences will be helpful.
I'm sure you have heard the expression; "Never judge a book by it's cover." I think that expression is appropriate for the situation you find yourself in.
Having daughters is different than having sons. Parents, especially fathers seem to be more protective of daughters than sons. I'm the parent of one child a son. I will try and put myself in the position of your father and see if I can help you make meeting your boyfriend easier on the three of you.
I have two niece's who grew up without a father. They would come to me from time to time for advice on how to approach my sister with something. When I would listen to them, I always listened, I may not have of agreed,though there were things I wanted to hear. My sister is very opinionated and hard to accept different points of view.
You cannot just spring your current boyfriend on your parents. Your going to have to ease them into it, sort of set them up for meeting him. so that the shock of seeing his orange hair won't cause them to judge him on looks alone.
You have already said the one thing I would want to hear, that you are happy with your current boyfriend. Mom and dad need to know this. You should tell your parent what you do together that makes you feel comfortable and happy when your with him.
Let your parents know what your boyfriends interest are other than you. Is he interested in science, golf , stock car racing etcetera.
Emphasize any interest your boyfriend may have that your father is also interested in. This is an important point as I feel your father is the one you need to convince more than your mother. If your boyfriend and dad have any common interest, then there is common ground for them to make a relationship on. Example if dad likes NASCAR and so does your boyfriend, then orange hair or not he can't be all bad. Your fathers point of you so to speak.
You tell your parent more and more about your boyfriend so they get to the point that they almost know him as well as you do. When they ask you when are they going to get to meet him? You say there is one more thing they need to know about him. That is when you tell them about the orange hair. By then hopefully you have told them enough about him and how you feel about him and how he cares for you. That the orange will be a non-starter.
What it all comes down to is salesmanship. You know there is a point of contention. You need to eliminate that point before you present your product. In this case your boyfriend.
I've been in sales for over 30 years, successfully, and a father and Uncle for much longer. I feel if you take my advise and adapt it to how you do things you should be able to make your parents more comfortable and accepting of your boyfriend.
i recenttly hit my head while swimming i couldnt see so i went to the hospital and they said it was a cuncution its been 1 month since then and i still get blurry vission also im having trouble focasing and saying big words should i go back to the hospital? what could those symptoms mean? thanks
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather; hopefully the wisdom that comes with age and life experiences will be helpful.
Head injuries are very serious injuries. You have already been diagnosed with a concussion and one month later are suffering from conditions that relate to your head injury and the concussion.
You need to be seen by a doctor, I would suggest a neurosurgeon as they are the best doctors to deal with injuries to the head and brain.
Please, please tell your parents that you are having these symptoms and have them arrange for you to see a doctor or take you to the emergency room.
This could be something very serious or could be you are still suffering from the initial concussion. Fact is only a doctor can tell and they will probably want a CT Scan or MRI to confirm there feelings. So tell your parents now this is not something to hide from them.
Well i had sex 8 days ago and I'm supposed to get my period 6-7 days ago but missed it and freaking out because protection wasn't so reliable, u can cut me slack because it's my second time having sex and it was unplanned for. I have couple of questions... How long should I wait to take a pregnancy test so it would be accurate?! Does birth control make you gain weight?! If I somehow decide to get an aboration, can I be submitted out of the hospital in the same day (I'm in middle of collage exams that will set my future)?! Will it affect my movement?! Thanks
You have asked questions that being a male I have no first hand knowledge in or what I would consider myself an expert in. I have done some research on a couple of your questions and will try to answer them for you. You may get better more knowledgeable answers from someone like marinemom24. She too is an older adviser and may be able to give you better advice.
Abortion Procedures: In general an abortion is done on an out patient bases. After the procedure is completed the patient is told to go home a rest for a day or two. I would suggest if you are considering an abortion and do not want it to interfere with exams that you schedule your procedure for a Friday afternoon.
Birth control and weight gain: Much of the research I have done tells me that it can cause some weight gain it depends on the type of birth control. This is something you and your doctor should discuss as there are a number of different types of birth control options to choose from. Which ones are right for you is something that needs to be discussed with your doctor.
Pregnancy testing: From what I read the best rated test for home testing was Clear Blue Digital. It says if you think your pregnant to test, if it comes up negative, wait a few days and test again. If it still comes up negative go to a doctor for a blood test if you still feel your pregnant. If it comes up positive you should have it verified by a doctor with a blood test.
I wish I had some better advise to offer you, as I said this is not my usual area of expertise.
You do appear undecided on whether to see the pregnancy through or have an abortion. I consider myself to be very liberal and that puts me in the pro choice column.
Once you let people know your pregnant, if you are pregnant, you are going to receive many different points of view and advise as to what to do. Remember one thing; this is your body, your choice. You have to do what you feel is the best for you. Whatever choice you make is the choice you make you and I don't mean that in any demeaning form. What I mean is others can offer advice but they don't have to live with their advice.
Should you decide to see the pregnancy through and give the child up for adoption; here again it is your choice, and a very noble on at that.
You have to do what you feel is right for you; This is the meaning of Pro Choice.
This is all I will say on this subject, the rest is up to you. I will be here to listen and support you in any choice you make should you need someone to listen to you or help you in your thought process.
anything in here not kosher for passover?
hollywood diet-
48 Hour Diet:
Pineapple, Apple and Orange Concentrates, Apricot, Peach and Banana Purees, Palmitate Vitamin A, Vitamin D, Vitamin E, Ascorbic Acid, Vitamin C, Thiamine Mononitrate (Vitamin B), Riboflavin (Vitamin B2), Pyridoxine HCl (Vitamin B6), Cyanocobalamin (Vitamin B12), Niacin, Folic Acid, Panthothenic Acid, and a special blend of Essential Oils, Bergamot, Tangerine, Lemon and Orange.
Check the puree and concentrates labels for any milk products or by products, if it has any make sure to keep them away from the passover dishes and not to have them with a meat meal. Also on the vitamins if you are taking all natural brands they should not be a problem.
I recently gave oral sex to my girl friend. Both of us are virgins, and this was the first time either of us have had any sexual contact with anyone.
What are the chances I have contracted an STI?
surely the only way would be if my girl friend had an STI passed down from her mother at birth, and if so, would she recieve any information about it?
Thank you very much for reading, and for any help and advice- much appreciated
The others have answered the question very well. I will just add that cold sores are a form of Herpes. If either of you have cold sores it is advisable to refrain from oral sex while the sore is healing. Even fingering or handjobs are best refrained from as you can have some of the virus on you fingers from touching the sore.
Hi i have a small size like bean in the inside of my right eye it was the same color as my inside bottom eyelid now its dark almost black it looks like a really small part of it is conected to my eye lid im scared dont know what it could be. Can any one tell what it could be or has any one had something like that happen.? Thanks
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather; hopefully the wisdom that comes with age and life experiences will be helpful.
What it could be and what is can be many different things. It could be a simple black head or something more serious. None of us are doctors and even if we were we would need to examine you to make a diagnoses.
You need to see a doctor right away. problems effecting the eye are considered life and limb so expect your doctor to make an appointment available immediately.
Why is a problem with your eye considered life and limb? Mainly because if something is wrong with your eye only a doctor can tell if it is serious enough to cause a vision problem.
Never hide sicknesses or problems with your body, especially female problems from you parents. One of our primary responsibilities as parents is to see to your well being. You need to tell us when something is wrong so we can take the appropriate action. This is also a way of teaching you what to do later in life when you are living on your own. So tell mom or dad about this, I'[ll call it a pimple for now, on your eyelid and let them make the appropriate doctors appointment for you.
i lost my viginity at 13, and since then i havent been able to stop, im now 15 and have sucked over 50 differnt boys, and i have had sex with over 30 differnt guys, i also done anal with 10 differnt guys. i really cant stop even though i feel so ashamed its like a thing that im so used to it feels very normal , im only 15 and all the guys have been 16 -35 years old... iv done threesums and all sorts, am i addicted or just a dirty slut?
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather; hopefully the wisdom that comes with age and life experiences will be helpful.
To start with you are not a slut; a better term would be compulsive sex addict. Sex to you is not that much different than alcohol is to an alcoholic. You can't help yourself; but you are not beyond help.
Short answer to your question is: Yes you are addicted.
To get help you could go to your parents and tell them what is going on and ask them for help. Operative word here is COULD. I understand all the reasons why you would not want to tell your parents about what is going on. All I will say about this is; telling your parents will make it easier for you to get help and to recover. Hiding your illness, yes it is an illness, from them just adds another bump in the road to your recovery.
Will your parents get mad? Will they yell and scream? Maybe; It all depends on how they perceive the information you give them. If you do decide to tell them and want help on how to tell them, write back to me and I will help you.
To start getting the help you need you go to your family doctor. Since you were 13 you have medical confidentiality. This means you can tell your doctor anything and everything that is bothering you and the doctor cannot tell your parents or anyone else without written permission from you. The law is called HIPPA and say in part any medical professional that has any medical contact with a person cannot reveal medical information about that person without their written permission. This includes doctors, nurses, EMTs and paramedics.
Knowing this tell your doctor everything, just as you have written here. The doctor will want to examine you to make sure that physically you are okay and not picked up any STDs. The doctor may or may not prescribe some medication, but will refer you to psychiatrist for help.
The above of course is one way of getting help and a way I suggest. I know you have probably heard of Alcoholics Anonymous; well there is an organization called; Sexaholics Anonymous(SA). If possible you should also try and make contact with them or at least talk to your psychiatrist about working with SA as well. The following is a link to their meeting locator states web link: http://sa.org/top/United%20States%20of%20America/
I hope you will take my advise and get help. You are not a slut and do not let anyone tell you differently. You have an illness, not very different from that of an alcoholic. It can be treated; first you have to ask for help and you have.
Hopefully I have supplied you with the information as to where to get that help. I also hope you will give great consideration to telling your parents. I believe that once the get over the initial shock they will be very helpful in your recovery. Just remember that this is up to you, I can only advise you. Parents are not the enemy. One of our jobs as parents are to keep our children safe from harm and my view is now is when you need them to do one of their primary jobs for you.
I would love to become a social worker or a child pyschologist but im still in high school. I was wondering if there was any type of job I could get that is something to do with those two part time. Like something I could put for credits for this subject? Like a social worker assistant or something? And also what degrees would I need? And how long would it take to become either of these?
Hi, I am one of the older advisers on this website and I believe I have the answers to your question.
Both of the fields offer very rewarding careers although social work pays the lower of the two.
To become a Social Worker you need at the very least a Masters degree in Social work. This would mean a four year Under Graduate Degree, in related subjects plus at the very least 2 years working towards your masters degree.
For a Child psychologist a four year under graduate degree in psychology plus at least 3 more years working towards your Doctorate in psychology.
I'm not aware of any part-time jobs you can get that would give you credit towards any of theses courses. There will be clinical work to be done for both degrees but it will need to be done at locations chosen by your professors.
What I would suggest is that you contact your local social service agency to see if you can do a summer internship or job following. In this way you can learn more about the work you are choosing to do for a career and see if it is what you want to make your life's work. Working as a camp counselor at a camp for the mentally disabled will also be a good choice of part-time a job and both look good on your college resume as well.