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I'm afraid they'll judge me.
My family is very stern about meeting the guys I date. I usually wait to see how the relationship goes before I introduce them to each other. In the past my boyfriends have gotten along good with my family, but I am nervous about this one. My boyfriend has red orange hair and I am afraid my parents will judge me. They've always made jokes about people with orange colored hair and I don't want to be teased. I want my boyfriend to feel comfortable, more so. He's very sweet and I want my parents to see how happy he makes me. But I am scared they'll be so mean. Any advice?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
If your family can go along with the other boyfriends. They can deal with this one. Just call your parents and inform them that he has red orange hair but he's really nice and sweet, and not to give him a hard time. then sweetly inform your bf that your family can be quite critical and he should be prepared. your parents only want whats best for you and when they see how happy the bf makes you, they should be able to overlook the hair color.
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Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather; hopefully the wisdom that comes with age and life experiences will be helpful.
I'm sure you have heard the expression; "Never judge a book by it's cover." I think that expression is appropriate for the situation you find yourself in.
Having daughters is different than having sons. Parents, especially fathers seem to be more protective of daughters than sons. I'm the parent of one child a son. I will try and put myself in the position of your father and see if I can help you make meeting your boyfriend easier on the three of you.
I have two niece's who grew up without a father. They would come to me from time to time for advice on how to approach my sister with something. When I would listen to them, I always listened, I may not have of agreed,though there were things I wanted to hear. My sister is very opinionated and hard to accept different points of view.
You cannot just spring your current boyfriend on your parents. Your going to have to ease them into it, sort of set them up for meeting him. so that the shock of seeing his orange hair won't cause them to judge him on looks alone.
You have already said the one thing I would want to hear, that you are happy with your current boyfriend. Mom and dad need to know this. You should tell your parent what you do together that makes you feel comfortable and happy when your with him.
Let your parents know what your boyfriends interest are other than you. Is he interested in science, golf , stock car racing etcetera.
Emphasize any interest your boyfriend may have that your father is also interested in. This is an important point as I feel your father is the one you need to convince more than your mother. If your boyfriend and dad have any common interest, then there is common ground for them to make a relationship on. Example if dad likes NASCAR and so does your boyfriend, then orange hair or not he can't be all bad. Your fathers point of you so to speak.
You tell your parent more and more about your boyfriend so they get to the point that they almost know him as well as you do. When they ask you when are they going to get to meet him? You say there is one more thing they need to know about him. That is when you tell them about the orange hair. By then hopefully you have told them enough about him and how you feel about him and how he cares for you. That the orange will be a non-starter.
What it all comes down to is salesmanship. You know there is a point of contention. You need to eliminate that point before you present your product. In this case your boyfriend.
I've been in sales for over 30 years, successfully, and a father and Uncle for much longer. I feel if you take my advise and adapt it to how you do things you should be able to make your parents more comfortable and accepting of your boyfriend.
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Talk to them about it first.
I once had a boyfriend who was sweet as pie, and really liked wearing pink. I was terrified that he'd wear his favourite pink shirt to meet my parents. I also didn't want to tell him he couldn't wear his favourite clothes to my parent’s home...
So. I called my dad and said "Dad, I need to tell you. James wears a lot of pink. He likes it and I think it's cool he likes it. I know this is exactly the sort of thing you'd tease a guy about, so this is me, your daughter who loves you, asking you NOT to tease him, at least not the first time you meet him. Okay?"
And my dad cracked a few jokes on the phone, teased me sometimes about 'guys who wear pink' but never teased my boyfriend to his face about wearing pink. (As they got to know each other, the teased each other about other things, but my dad never took him out for the pink shirts.)
If your parents are otherwise polite and generous people, ask them, as a favour and sign of respect to you their daughter, to leave the orange hair be. You might be surprised. They might just come through for you.
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Looks arn't everything in life , always remember that they just capture the eye but not the heart. Your the one who is dating him not them, if they can't accept your happyness then they are selfish sorry to say this, but sometimes parents think they can control everything they can't choose who you fall for. If they don't like him cause of his looks then they are stuck up and therefore that means you have to intefere and stand up for yourself and your relationship. Tell them how you both feel and he has to explain to your dad how he feels for you and how much he respects you.
Personality is the most important thing and respect ! Good luck :)
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