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disgusted & possibly depressed
I am a young single mother of a 13 month old, looking for a job, and living with my parents. I am stuck in the house most of the time with little to no help (besides financial support which I am completely appreciative of) from anyone else. I am naturally a people person, but now im usually alone unless I get to go out once or twice on the weekend.
I know I'm lucky to be taken care of by my parents, but for the past month I've been starting to feel depressed. Im turning to alcohol more (when im out, not around the baby), been breaking out from stress, been sad & guilty feeling, and feeling like I could break down at any moment. I dont feel like myself.
Then, friday night, I drank way too much to the point of not remembering some things,and ended up letting this guy have his way with me. I know he had a condom on though, but I know its not 100% safe. I regret it so much and even though he took advantage of me when I was extremely trashed, I know I was probably willing at the time. I feel so guilty, horrible, disgusted with myself...etc. I just want to cry & cry. Only 2 people know and I cried it out to them, but I dont want anyone else to know.
Basically, I dont know what to do with myself. I feel so depressed. I already decided not to drink. Should I see a therapist? Do you guys think im becoming depressed? My dad has extreme depression and anxiety (i dont see him).and both of his parents were as well, but could genetics play a part?
thanks :(
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather; hopefully the wisdom that comes with age and life experiences will be helpful.
Even though your child is 13 months old you may be be suffering from postpartum depression. Whether it is postpartum depression or just regular depression you should seek treatment.
You start by seeing your family doctor first to be screened for depression, then follow the doctors instructions. Depression is an inherited disorder so it is possible you will suffer from it as well. Make sure to advice your doctor of this fact.
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Because it is in your genetic line( your dad,. and his parents as well) it could be a bit about genetics,. But it is also a big factor of having a kid at such a young age. it turns your life upside down. and trying to deal with all the new issues with that is a very big struggle. Also the fact that you don't go out much,. when you do it's like an escape from what your dealing with. Now being not able to see friends and hang out can make you feel very alone and depressed,.
But it WILL Get better! I truly believe that:)
It would be a very good idea to see a therapist my dear. even if it doesn't help at first,.. sometimes it's just that you need to find the right one. Sometimes it takes a while before you will feel better,. but you will feel better, sometimes just talking to someone can make you feel so much better!
Hope this helps!
~Jasmine*
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