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ADHD in a 4 year old
My son is 4 years old not even close to 5 yet. He is involed in a pre school. He has a speech problem which got better with speech therepy but his ear drum had burst and they put new tubes in but his speech has gotten worse again. He doesnt try or doesnt even focus in school. His teacher and speech teacher say they know he could do it and get better if hed just try. I cut the sugar way down in his diet no soda or anything. he can have a little sugar like every other day. His behavior is awful you can tell him the same thing 20 times and he still wont listen. if he finds something he likes hell do it. he unloaded a truck of wood the other day then swept the truck out didnt want any help and did it all him self. wouldnt stop until it was all done. hes a good kid i just dont know what to do about his behavior its getting so hard to handle. I think he has ADHD his doctor thinks so to. He did blood work that showed his thyriod elevated and is sending him to a Behavioral clinic to be evaluated. but all this stuff takes so long.
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Hi, I'm old enough to be a grandfather to most of the people that write to us. Hopefully the wisdom that comes with age and life experiences will be helpful.
The two other advisers have given you some very good advise. The only thing I can so is to bear out there advise with some of my own.
Teachers have a tough job, especially today inlight of budget cutting. Medicating a child is an expedient way of solving a problem for them. It may be expedient but not always the best way or even the correct way.
While your son is at an age that ADHD would start to exhibit itself, so would other problems that mimic ADHD. You need to have you son properly evaluated a part from those who would be evaluating him for the school. It is my believe that the school evaluators rely more on the teachers evaluations then taking the time to do a proper evaluation on there own. Knowing this the teachers provide an evaluation that will get them the determination they want. Then you are advised to see your family doctor for medication based on their evaluation.
Don't do that. Seek out your own doctors. You need to have your son evaluated by a child psychiatrist. This is the only doctor qualified to make this determination. When seeking a child a child psychiatrist you want a doctor who is certified by the college of Psychiatry and Board Certified. In many states any Medical doctor who has completed a residency in psychiatry can practice psychiatry. This is what I recommend you seek out a doctor the is both board certified and a member of the College of Psychiatrists.
I'm not saying the behavioral clinic is the wrong way to go, just make sure the people evaluating him are properly certified to do so.
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I am going to second the first advicenator not as a qualified professional, but as a former kid who was stubborn, once thought to have a hearing problem (turns out selective hearing isn't a problem), and extremely difficult to direct in school.
I was a strange sort of kid. By the age of 5, I knew I wanted to be a paleontologist when I grew up, could give you the Latin name and period in which just about every dinosaur lived, and could read fluently. I couldn't ride a bicycle until age 8, and I had a lot of problems in school because teachers couldn't get me to do anything I didn't want to.
I had my hearing tested multiple times. I was punished. I was yelled at. I was given poor marks. Then someone realized that I was probably just bored. My parents started at home by giving me extra education and encouraging my interests. Eventually I was put in gifted classes, and that worked like a charm.
Something you need to do is to work with your son. He has to know that he can't just do the things he likes. If that were the case, nobody would work and everyone would live on the beach! Be firm with him. If he has homework, have him do the stuff he doesn't like before the stuff he does. Likewise for chores. Teach him that he gets to do the fun things as a reward.
Back when I taught karate lessons, I taught the white belt children's class. I'd say that about 75% of the kids registered were diagnosed with ADD/ADHD. Every single one of those children did just fine in a very controlled environment where they were encouraged to develop themselves.
Please don't immediately assume that your child is hyperactive and needs to be medicated into a kiddie coma. I see so many children these days Ritalin-ed into shadows of themselves when they are really just vibrant children who nobody wants to spend extra time on. Teachers don't like to (except for the very exceptional) because they don't get paid any extra for it. So it's up to you to make sure your special little boy isn't left behind and given a stigmatic tag that will follow him for the rest of his educational days. I'm not saying ADHD doesn't exist, but there are a lot of kids who are diagnosed who I just don't think have it.
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Hi, I am qualified and experienced in both junior school teaching (5-7 year olds), and audiology (hearing testing and hearing aids), just to let you know a bit about where this advice is coming from.
I really feel that you need to get him to an audiologist for a complete hearing test. Not just a tympanogram where they check the ear drum.
I have seen a case like this before, where the boy was so severly deaf, yet it never got picked up until I tested him at 12, at a country show, for free. The sad thing was, by that stage he was in foster care, and was continually being shifted from family to family due to his poor behaviour.
The reason people didn't click that he was deaf was because he was very good at lip reading and also reading peoples behaviour.
The reason people thought he had crappy behaviour was because they could be right behind him and talk to him and it seemed as if he just wanted to do his own thing and was ignoring him.
Try a couple of things.
When he isn't facing you, but is in the kitchen with you, drop something that will make a really loud noise, or bang two pot lids together and see if he turns around. He may, and still have a hearing loss, but just may need sounds loud to hear them.
Sometimes when he is sitting very close to you, whisper quietly that you want him to pass you something, or point at something in a book. Or maybe ask him if he wants a piece of chocolate. See if you get a response. Do this first into his right ear, and then on another occasion into his left ear, and see if there is a difference. Sometimes only one ear can have a loss.
but really the best thing is to visit an audiologist, and soon!
There is so much I want to say to you about this! If you want my email address to discuss this out of this site, let me know.
Next, there is a condition called Auditory Processing Disorder (APD) its when they can hear but the brain doesn't really make sense of what it is hearing very well. Talk to the audiologist about that. I didn't work with people with that condition, so you need to find someone who does, to get better advice on it, but it is definately something that you should ask about, because he does have some unusual symptoms that sound similiar to those of people with APD.
Next, A mountain of research has proven that sugar doesn't amp up kids, its the food colourings and preservatives and additives.
So a spoonful of sugar may be fine, but 3 or 4 drops of red food colouring in a glass of water may send him wacky.
An incredible book which I really recommend is called The Chemical Maze. Very easy to follow, and it tells you about different chemicals to avoid in foods, to help eliminate particular behaviours/problems etc. And it's easy to do!
Also, I was wondering if he may be gifted? Now before you laugh, gifted kids who are bored get into all sorts of trouble! And if he has a hearing loss or something along those lines, and is gifted you will be getting all sorts of craziness! I wondered about this after you described how he unloaded the truck of wood by himself. Also giftedness isn't just someone who is good at reading or writing. You can have a gifted person who has dyslexia and yet can be a brillian gymnast or build something really well. Giftedness comes in all shapes and forms, and you can get Twice Exceptional kids, those who have some kind of difficulty, but still do other things really well for their ages.
You can get his IQ tested by a psychologist, but I recommend looking up the Gifted Association or whatever you have like that in your city/country and getting them to recommend a psychologist who specialises in gifted kids, because sometimes regular psychs refuse to test kids, saying they are too young. If a kid is gifted, they are not too young, as they work at a much higher level, and an experienced psychologist will know this, and will recognise behaviours from what you tell them and what they see anyway.
I know this may all seem random, as I haven't mentioned ADHD, but it is really only fair to your son that you check these things first, before they stick him on any kind of drugs.
Please write back through the 'ask bewise a question' button if you have more to say or have further questions.
I hope this helps!
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