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He will break up with me if I don't let him have sex with me!

Question Posted Monday April 18 2011, 12:30 am

Hi my boyfriend wants to have sex but i keep telling him no we are to young and he says if i dont he will break up with me and i love him what do i do?

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bakahaido answered Monday April 25 2011, 1:00 am:
DUMP HIM! he's just with you to have sex with you. guys like that are not worth it. and it is better to be the dumper and the dumpee. believe me, it will be so much better to cry over the break up (i know you love him) than to cry when he dumped you after he's succeeded at taking your virginity.

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bubblegumdrop answered Sunday April 24 2011, 10:51 pm:
Let him break up with you. You shouldn't be forced to do anything you don't want to do and that you know you shouldn't be doing. You have a lot of years ahead of you, don't waste them doing stupid stuff when you're young.

Go watch Sixteen & Pregnant on tv. Do you see how difficult their lives are? Remember that when your boyfriend is trying to get in your pants.

Be strong. If he loves you like you love him, he won't force you to do anything.

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Cherokee answered Sunday April 24 2011, 2:39 am:
I agree with some of these posts. If he cares about you the same way you care about him he wouldn't pressure you into doing something you don't want to do. So you lay down your rules NOW. It's never to late to put someone in their place. Let him know that you're not going to have sex until YOU ARE READY. If he doesn't understand or appreciate that then he has no RESPECT for you so MOVE ON. It's plenty of guys that will cherish your wishes and a few tears a night is worth walking away with your dignity and pride. Do what's right for you not what someone else wants. Good Luck!

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ladybug123_22 answered Tuesday April 19 2011, 6:25 pm:
If he really cares about you at all he wouldn't try to pressure you into something you don't want to do end the relationship.

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WittyUsernameHere answered Monday April 18 2011, 4:58 pm:
You break up with him first.

Seriously. Part of relationships is respecting personal boundaries. If someone says they don't want to have sex, that's it, sex doesn't happen. I'm married, if my wife says shes not in the mood its time to turn on the TV or something, no one has a right to pressure someone into something they don't want in that specific moment, in general, etc.

People don't pressure people they love into things they don't want to do. You care about him more than he cares about you. Realize this, and realize that there is no staying with this guy. Even if you give him sex, the lack of respect that causes him to demand it will show up in other places in your relationship.

Walk away.

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Fouska013 answered Monday April 18 2011, 12:38 pm:
O.O wow, really, just tell him to leave and never come back! Having being in your place unfortunately, I'm afraid he disrespects you and wants to use you :((( I'm sorry to say that :(( Don't let him do what he wants; he is free to leave. I'm 100% you'll find a better guy, there are a lot more men to meet :D good luck :) and don't have sex with him dear

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adviceman49 answered Monday April 18 2011, 12:22 pm:
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather; hopefully the wisdom that comes with age and life experiences will be helpful.

If your boyfriend is pressuring you to have sex within or he will leave you; point him to the closest door. He is not in love with you and you can find someone who will respect you.

This is an important lesson, not just for sex but a life lesson. Never compromise your values to satisfy someone else's needs or desires. The one thing in life that are truly ours are our values. When you allow someone to force you to compromise on your values you are giving up one of your most valuable possessions.

If I were you I would not give in on this subject for as I said he is not in love with you; he is in lust for you. He wants you to satisfy his sexual needs. There are other ways to do this for him without compromising your values or giving up your virginity.

If I am correct in my thinking, once he has conquered you and coerced you in to giving in to him; he will be looking for other mountains (girls) to conquer. It is in your best interest to tell him to get lost and for you top find someone who not only loves you but respects you.

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dottie4 answered Monday April 18 2011, 8:32 am:
I would end it with him. He sounds like a real jerk, and you can do better. Plus it feels better to be the dumper in the end then the dumpee.

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MCC answered Monday April 18 2011, 5:20 am:
Well then let him break up with you. What kind of guy insists on having sex, and your the girlfriend! Not even his wife geez! That guy is just selfish and using the fact that you love him alot to blackmail you into having sex with him.
Think about it for a minute, you only get to give away your virginity once in your life. I'm sure you wouldn't want to remember that you were blackmailed out of it by some selfish boyfriend.
If you feel your too young to have sex then he should respect that. Stand firm don't be pressured into something you don't want. If he dumps you, fine, you'll be heartbroken but atleast you won't be regretful and won't feel used or cheated. Other than that you'll know for sure that he never realy loved you. He values sex more than you my dear and the fact that he stooped as low as blackmail just to get it is proof enough. If he doesn't backoff you might as well break up with him first as hard as it may be. I encourage you to abstain till marriage its rewarding. Wait til marriage sex will stil be their.

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bewise answered Monday April 18 2011, 2:31 am:
Wow! What a jerk! DON'T HAVE SEX WITH HIM!

Think about it like this.

Your virginity is a once in a lifetime gift that you can give to someone. It needs to be someone you love and someone who loves you.

Whilst you may feel love for him, even if he says he loves you, he doesn't really, and you can see this by his behaviour.

When a person loves someone truly, they will respect them and care for their needs. This means if you say NO, he listens and respects that even if it is hard for him and he doesn't like it.

But what your boyfriend is doing is using threats to manipulate you into getting what he wants.
Don't be his throwaway hookup.

Your virginity should be given to someone who would wait 5 years to have sex with you because they love and respect you so much.

Another thing is, I think you can fall in love many times. There are so many incredible people in the world, and while you are with this guy, no other genuinely nice guys will even look at dating you.

The longer you are with the bad guy who doesn't really love and respect you, the more chance of missing out on the nice guy you have.

Breaking up with someone is hard, but it is worth it. I am so glad now that I am with my husband, that I didn't stay with the guys who didn't treat me well before, even when I felt in love with them.

Maybe make a list of all the qualities you think a good husband should have and see if not loving you properly, manipulating you and disrespect are on that list, and then decide accordingly.

You only have one chance to give your most special gift away. How would your future husband feel if you gave it to some guy who didn't even treat you right?

Be strong, and stick to your guns! You are right to not have sex with him!

If you would like to email me back, I would love to hear how you go. Use the 'ask bewise a question' button.

Go well and be strong!

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