am i a slut? i have had sex with almost 100 guys and i don't know how to stop doing it, help?
Question Posted Sunday April 17 2011, 12:06 am
i lost my viginity at 13, and since then i havent been able to stop, im now 15 and have sucked over 50 differnt boys, and i have had sex with over 30 differnt guys, i also done anal with 10 differnt guys. i really cant stop even though i feel so ashamed its like a thing that im so used to it feels very normal , im only 15 and all the guys have been 16 -35 years old... iv done threesums and all sorts, am i addicted or just a dirty slut?
VoiceofReason answered Monday May 16 2011, 9:57 am: Short of going to a therapist, you have to ask yourself why you are so sexually active at that age. Is there a kind of approval you're getting out of it you aren't at home? Were you sexually abused by your father, another relative or a stranger? If so this could cause you to become hypersexualized.
The other component that worsens this is America's puritanical sexual attitudes. You know the definition of puritanism, right? "The overwhelming fear that someone somewhere may be happy" (H.L. Mencken), which leads to self loathing and thus a feeling that being screwed is all you're good for, which is entirely wrong.
There is no such thing as a slut, btw. If a guy can get accolades for bedding everything from Seattle to Sydney then a woman shouldn't be comdemned for being a lusty sexual being, either, but only as long as she is doing it for pure pleasure and not because there is something else going on.
Whatever the case, it is obvious you aren't able to manage your sex life as judiciously as you should at your age. Counseling can really help. Not to confront it now could lead to disease or poverty inducing pregnancy or worse later on. So get some help. Do not go to any religious organization about this. They will mess you up even more. [ VoiceofReason's advice column | Ask VoiceofReason A Question ]
Cherokee answered Sunday April 24 2011, 6:57 am: You're not a slut you just have a addiction. Addiction's are hard to break and if you feel that you can't break this addiction by yourself you need help. Don't get scared or upset when i say "help" i mean simply talking to a counselor or a adult you trust. The path that you are going down is very un-healthy for a 15 year girl and dangerous. The reason you are also having sex may also be deeper than an addiction. You could be trying to fill a void that you feel that you are missing. If something in you're life isn't going right or you are having problems maybe you are using SEX to escape the pain and problems? Not too sure but just my opinion. You should defiantly stick to only one sex partner because their are so many disease's and ST D's going around you DO NOT one to be a statistic. Have more respect for yourself and want better for yourself you're lowering your dignity and pride and that's never good. I'm sure you're beautiful and have many things going for you but if you don't stop you will ruin you're life because something will end up going wrong, pregnancy scares, std's or even worse. So slow down and talk to someone. Good Luck! [ Cherokee's advice column | Ask Cherokee A Question ]
AskAliceMadisson answered Sunday April 17 2011, 5:37 pm: I think that you are just simply addicted. You should try to stop doing it with every single guy you meet. What I suggest is to find a steady boyfriend and to only do it with him. I think that you should also go to a doctor, because you might need to get your hormones tested. I had a writer write to me once, about a similar problem, and she got her hormones tested and it turned out that the doctor gave her some pills to take and she stopped wanting to have sex all the time. You should go to the doctor if you keep on behaving like this. Also, I think you should only do it with guys your age than 35 year olds. I understand how ashamed you feel, but it really is hard to stop. It is like a magnet and it is attracting you, wanting more. Be sure that guys can't pressure you into sex, if they can't you are defiantly not a slut. If you want any more advice, please email me on AskAliceMadisson@hotmail.com. If you don't trust that I give professional advice, please go to my temporary website to see to examples of advice I gave to people, which helped them. My website is www.askalicemadisson.webstarts.com [ AskAliceMadisson's advice column | Ask AskAliceMadisson A Question ]
adviceman49 answered Sunday April 17 2011, 3:17 pm: Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather; hopefully the wisdom that comes with age and life experiences will be helpful.
To start with you are not a slut; a better term would be compulsive sex addict. Sex to you is not that much different than alcohol is to an alcoholic. You can't help yourself; but you are not beyond help.
Short answer to your question is: Yes you are addicted.
To get help you could go to your parents and tell them what is going on and ask them for help. Operative word here is COULD. I understand all the reasons why you would not want to tell your parents about what is going on. All I will say about this is; telling your parents will make it easier for you to get help and to recover. Hiding your illness, yes it is an illness, from them just adds another bump in the road to your recovery.
Will your parents get mad? Will they yell and scream? Maybe; It all depends on how they perceive the information you give them. If you do decide to tell them and want help on how to tell them, write back to me and I will help you.
To start getting the help you need you go to your family doctor. Since you were 13 you have medical confidentiality. This means you can tell your doctor anything and everything that is bothering you and the doctor cannot tell your parents or anyone else without written permission from you. The law is called HIPPA and say in part any medical professional that has any medical contact with a person cannot reveal medical information about that person without their written permission. This includes doctors, nurses, EMTs and paramedics.
Knowing this tell your doctor everything, just as you have written here. The doctor will want to examine you to make sure that physically you are okay and not picked up any STDs. The doctor may or may not prescribe some medication, but will refer you to psychiatrist for help.
The above of course is one way of getting help and a way I suggest. I know you have probably heard of Alcoholics Anonymous; well there is an organization called; Sexaholics Anonymous(SA). If possible you should also try and make contact with them or at least talk to your psychiatrist about working with SA as well. The following is a link to their meeting locator states web link: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
I hope you will take my advise and get help. You are not a slut and do not let anyone tell you differently. You have an illness, not very different from that of an alcoholic. It can be treated; first you have to ask for help and you have.
Hopefully I have supplied you with the information as to where to get that help. I also hope you will give great consideration to telling your parents. I believe that once the get over the initial shock they will be very helpful in your recovery. Just remember that this is up to you, I can only advise you. Parents are not the enemy. One of our jobs as parents are to keep our children safe from harm and my view is now is when you need them to do one of their primary jobs for you. [ adviceman49's advice column | Ask adviceman49 A Question ]
Willyouregret answered Sunday April 17 2011, 1:45 pm: Ok so like I'm 16 and I honestly don't know how you feel but what I could tell you is yeah you might be possibly addicted and bad consequences could come out of it like pregnancy aids stds stuff like that and you might be careful but anything could happen especially at such a young age. Now I'm not judging you but if other girls know about this they would think your a slut everyone has there opinion and it could get worse. If your allways wanting more or craving for sex then you need to seek professional help. But it's all on you, you can stop yourself if you really try you just have to stay away and tell yourself you don't need that. Yes other girls and possibly guys might find out and think all this crap about you.. Everyone makes mistakes you tell them that if they do bug you. Hope I helped:) [ Willyouregret's advice column | Ask Willyouregret A Question ]
Xui answered Sunday April 17 2011, 5:52 am: You need to seek professional help from a therapist, This is not normal.
You are only 15 years old, Having sex with so many different men can lead to STD's, AIDS and Unwanted Pregnancy. You are putting yourself at great risk. As consensual as you may make it seem having sex with men over the age of 18 is statutory rape. It is 100% WRONG.
It is good that you see the problem now the next step is to do something about it, Seek professional help. If you have to sit down with your parents, Then do so because in the end it is about your safety and well being. Tell a school counselor or someone you trust but in the meantime you need to stop having sex. It's disgusting to be having sex with so many guys at your age, Sorry to be harsh but that is just gross. [ Xui's advice column | Ask Xui A Question ]
SomeoneSpecial answered Sunday April 17 2011, 5:14 am: Oh my. You are not a slut, you just have a problem. Self control, I don't believe in programs to help people with their problems, especially if they don't want to get fixed up. Just take a step back and look at yourself. Is this the way you want to think of yourself? Is this the way you want others to look at you in this information (if not already) later comes out? This is not a good thing especially for a minor. Those older guys could get into a lot of trouble if that gets out. You say you're ashamed and you can't stop, is it because you aren't trying? Next time a situation you are put into anything sexually related, do something else. I know it's easier said than done but will power is such a good thing every woman should have. When you grow up, find your perfect man and get married, would you really feel good about yourself telling him this? No, I don't think so. This needs to be stopped. Don't put yourself in situations to do that kind of stuff because in the end, it will lower your self confidence, your moral values and everything you've ever thought and in the future, you won't know who you are anymore.
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