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How can I make a fake peins
You do know that there are stores that carry sex toys right? Get over your embarassment and visit one. Even as an adult I always wonder at first if the clerk in such a store will be at ease about any thing, whether youre straight, bi or gay. They do not hire anyone for those places that can't help a customer feel more comfortable. When I come in I tell them want I want....what I have used that doesnt work...what my budget is...etc
If you live too far from a town which such a store, there's stuff that can be found on line.
If this hasn't helped, perhaps you need to restate your question as to what your situation is. Have no idea if you're male or female and why you feel it needs to be made rather than purchased. The material a dildo or fake penis is made of is important in keeping it clean and germ free or a person could risk getting infections from something around the house they use or even purchased items that aren't cleaned regularly.
I'm a 13 year old girl and the first time I masturbated it was great.after that I never felt anything again except for a little bit a month later. All my friends do it all the time and say its great.ive tried everything. What's wrong with me?
You mention your friends do it all the time. Are you trying to keep up with doing it as often as they do? You know..like trying to be the same as others? The pressure you put yourself under in trying to match your peers could possibly be what makes it difficult.
YOu see, our mind is really our greatest sexual organ. If there is worry over parents discovering you've done this or perhaps they have religious views that it is wrong...those thoughts bouncing around in your head can dampen the ability to have an orgasm. If it is religious views, do not feel guilty about it. The christian church is quite wrong on some things like this. Been there done that.
Or you could be the type of person like myself who requires more intensity, I am intense as a creature by nature as a Scorpio, intense in anything hobby, in conversation and as well in sexuality. So perhaps all you need is more intense stimulation than your hand can give. Get a vibrator. If you maturbated wiht a vibrator and had this problem, it wasn't a good one. Sorry to tell you there are not many good ones on the market. I get the idea that it isnt women designing them but men cus most arent helpful. If you go shopping for one, get over your shyness this is important. Pick up all the models on display with batteries in them and hold them to your crotch while clothed. If it is strong enough to get a good tingling sensation through the clothing, it will be perfect for you. Or ask the clerk if those are old batteries in the products. Tell her what you are looking for but stress the fact that you want to test the strength of the item on yourself through the clothes. Something shrink wrapped that she suggests isn't going to help unless she is willing to open the package in effort to possibly make a sale.
so there is this girl i like, and one of my friends know, but my best friend doesnt believe me so he doesnt really care because he thinks i dont like her. But this girl is stuck between my friend that knows i like her, and me. I think she knows i like her cause my friend told her, im planning to ask her out but im scared of rejection, because i got rejected 3 times in my life and never had a girlfriend. I flirt with her a lot, but i dont think she notices, and sometimes it seems like she likes me but other time it seems like she doesnt like me. what should i do?
As a female, I can attest that the flirting of boys in grade school, through college age even in some cases comes across as goofy behavior, more of the class clown persona, or downright confusing. What's really gross is when older adult men haven't figured out how to approach a woman yet and think some kind of sexual contact is gonna get the interest of a strange female. If he isn't Brad Pitt he may as well forget that approach.. Just tossing in some humor here.
Okay, so what does this leave you with? Conversation...talk to her, get to know her as a friend first. Not every girl that you become good friends with is going to see you as more than just a friend, but some will be attracted to you for more. But if you're really young, I suggest you wait if possible before getting sexual and also being very careful.
I have a nephew who at age 10 already had girls calling him at home. He is both white and black and has girls of any race interested in him. He has girls begging to BE his date, his girlfriend.
So what does he do different. I guarantee he's never been rejected. She's a human, just like you are with the same needs, moods, talents..etc... You are an apple, she's an orange both are very different from each other...but they do have common ground, they are both a fruit. Find out what she likes to eat, if she like sushi but you don't, keep on trying till you find the common ground there. How do you hang out with your guy friends? You can do pretty much the same with her, just don't talk crude and raunchy jokes to her. My nephew has very good manners, makes the girls feel special, like a princess and yet he does it without groping her and asking for sex. The most he has done is hold hands, kiss and cuddle. He has great parents he can talk to about anything. He has not had sex with any of the swarms of girls who are interested in him and yet they're drawn to him like a moth to a flame. He is not gay. He is handsome but still average looks, there are guys in his school hotter looking than him. So thats not it. I hope this helps. Any more question or something I did not cover, let me know.
Im 13 and I want someone.Please i want to tell everything to him/her.I want to......
Please someone give me ur yahoo id.
You want someone to tell things to like a "Confessional?" I know you can go to your local priest. Or talk straight to God...that is your safest bet.
Oh, that's not it? I misunderstood? I wonder why? You do not spell out what you are asking advice for and leave us to guess.
If you are really 13, and need some advice then Spit it out!! Otherwise, you're not seriously asking for advice. You likely plan to darn well do whatever it is you want.
I certainly hope no one gives you their contact id's. Because I only have your word for it that you are 13. You could be in your 30's or 40's and a Child Predator for all I know. If you are...get lost.
So I met this girl a few months ago, I threw a party and she showed up with her boyfriend, he is an old friend from highschool. Anyway, she is really pretty and loves all the same things I do. Her boyfriend has been with her for a year and half the time I see her she is sad. Whenever she comes over to a party I chase her around and get touchy with her, she never says anything to her boyfriend but never really says it is okay that I do it. She sometimes flirts back but she never touches me or anything.Last weekend I threw a party and her and I put on cat ears and we were running around and chasing each other, I looked up her dress and she got upset, then her boyfriend got in a fight with her because she is too friendly with me. I don't know what to do. Does she like me? Should I pursue it or is that just going to complicate things?? What do I do??
Oh my God I can't believe by the way you talk that you are college age!!. Sorry, but it sound's like the maturity level of a middle schooler! Time to grow up boy...are you really ready cus I don't want to waste my time here. She is not your entertainment playstation...she is another human being. No female, dating someone or single is there to gratify only your horniness. The sexual part is just the icing on the cake to an already healthy friendship where both people feel mutual love, care, trust for each other. You say she's often sad. I'll bet no one knows cus they don't bother to ask. Stop thinking of yourself first. If you want to learn to grow up, start by asking people about their lives. Let her know that she seems to look sad. You're wondering if she'd like to talk about it. If she doesn;t, guess what she needs more trust between you and her. Your friend can't fault you for being a listening ear but chasing her around the room is childish...are you a child or a man. Don't stop with her. Start talking to other people...especially the women you don't have any sexual attraction to. Force yourself to do this if you want to grow up. Not just a couple times, make it a daily, weekly habit and see where you end up in 6 mos time.
If it feels hard for you to start with conversation, here's something else you could try...giving hugs to random people. You've seen the people on youtube with signs Free hugs and they give hugs to people. I can think of something even easier, go to an old folks home and ask the old ladies there if they want a hug, talk to them. People at old folks homes are so lonely and ignored and unloved that they are an easy place to start.
Notice I did not give advice on what to do about her being with your old school friend? Because that's the least of your troubles...you'll run into that in life. If a woman has made a promise and she is married to a man...she is off limits. An unhappily married woman is off limits because if she is not separated, then you are an aid to her committing adultery. Be a man of moral character. And lastly, there will be the girls who are single but dating. If you come across someone like that and repeated get to see them and interact with them in association with groups of friends, and If you feel an attraction growing for her...it is okay to let her know that you are attracted to her and wish she were free. Mention that you will not interfere. But if at any point in time that she changes her mind, you will gladly accept her as a girlfriend. Thats the right thing to do. Ahhh but you grew up in a world of "Instant Gratification" Fast foods, info at our fingertips, etc... Instant gratification plainly often created a "Spoiled Kid" You can remain a kid til the day you die but you will be a very lonely single man your entire life unless you are willing to learn to become a man. Women are not attracted to kids in adult bodies. The body might attract women into bed for a night but not for long if there's nothing behind the eye candy on the outside.
If you are serious, and want to ask related questions to becoming a REAL man, I am married to one so I have much more to share.
I mean it's gotten so bad that I am scared to come fear of getting hit in the head numerous times with her fists and cussed out I mean I try to stay away from the house the only time I am at home is to make sure my mom gets her meds and for me to cook meals and since I barely know how to cook it's mostly stuff that you can cook quickly and pop in the microwave or when my mom is having one of her good days which is very we might get to go out to eat . I am usually always at church and I bring my cell phone with me just in case of an emergency and when I am gone I get my stepdad to drop by and check in on her and the kids I am just scared to go home I wish that our life could be back to normal a happy hugging family I mean my mom use to hug me all the time we were really close not anymore . That's terrible in a 2 years time
I don't understand where the stepdad is in all this. Maybe they're divorced or maybe his job keeps him away alot. Did he leave the moment she became ill. If so, there must be some other family you can turn to for help, does she have sisters or brothers? I can't imagine people leaving you to fend for yourself in this. Or maybe you haven't reached out asking for help yet.
You mentioned church. Have you told your pastor everything?
Or lets forget about how she treats you or the little ones and just think about her. Doesn't she deserved to live out her end days even though so ill, in peace? Would you say she is in peace? NO...that's not. She needs professionals to be caring for her, not little babies, and a young person who hides at church and a husband/ex husband who isn't there 24/7. I get it...its your Mom. But Mom is never going to be herself unless God reaches down and does a miracle. The Mom you love is only in your memories now. The person before you needs help and is in no shape to be able to ask for it herself.
Here's another way to look at it. Lets say she dies in the next couple days. OH...you can go home now and not worry about being beat up...so are you going to feel any better? No, you trade strong emotions...instead of being in fear for yourself, now instead of fear it's remorse that haunts you..wondering if you could have done more. Just check out every possibility now so that when the time comes...you can be at peace knowing you did everything possible for her, the children and yourself. And YES it is a lot to ask of someone your age to carry the burdon of having to find help for your situation at home. l But that's all I am advising you to do...just reach out and tell anyone and everyone who is local there...start with your Pastor. He should be able to research and find agencies to help.
I read an inspiring story some 15 years ago of a very young teen, 13,14, or so whose mom was a drug addict and there was no dad. Just her and mom. Mom was losing her health and in danger of dyinng. The girl took care of herself and her mom doing everything in the household. There wasn't any food so she visited foodbanks. Mom eventually was so fried she could no longer hold a job and then she went over the deep end, oblivious to the world around her, the house could have been on fire and she wouldnt have known. The girl asked school counselors who put her in touch with the right agencies to help. The article showed a happy mom standing next to her. Mom had gone thru treatment and was drug free and credited her then 15 yr old with saving her life, otherwise she would've overdosed and died. If a 13 yr old can reach out for help, so can you. That's all you need to do.
I really appreciate it your feedback on my question (About my mom and my suspicions on her affair) I was actually looking forward about having some sort of heart to heart with her after reading your response. Unfortunately, today after we all went out for dinner I heard my parents talking in their bedroom. I didn't want to intrude or overhear anything so just plugged my headphones in for a bit. After a while, my Dad gathered his things and ended up just leaving the house about half an hour ago. When I tried to talk to my mom about what happened she was angry and didn't want to talk at all, which I suppose is understandable. Now I'm just even more confused than before.
Sometimes when a person drops the bombshell and the other person didn't see it coming, they don't know how to react and must get away to think things through rather than start to fight. Your mom looks like she'd have preferred for him to stay so she could tell him her story in more detail and why and all. So she is possibly angry because she see's this as him denying the problem or not wanting to talk about it. She needs to give him time. Once they both have had a chance to talk, perhaps then things will settle into a new pattern...whatever that may be. Hang tight then sweetie, and just wait for the time when your mom is ready to talk. Your dad will be needing your love and hugs too. Don't take sides if they both try to get you to do that. Parents don't think sometimes and unknowingly say things like that to the children.
Okay, I'm 17 & the guy I've been seeing for almost 2 months is 18. We hang out for a little over the school week & then usually all day & night Friday and Saturday nights. Yesterday we hung out all day & then we went back to my house and we were laying in my bed & cuddling. We were spooning and I could tell he was already hard from that & we had talked about hooking up a few days before. We've obviously made out before but i haven't had the chance to really do anything to him because we're never in the right place for it. I decided to give him a blow job because I have my period and it's too early for sex.
He started kissing me and we were making out & it was getting pretty heated. He was really hard and at one point he was like ontop of me and humping me so I decided it was time to blow him.
Of course I've given head before, but I've never given him head and I was really nervous. My mom was downstairs and I was paranoid so I just went under the covers and blew him down there. It was really hot under there and it was hard to do a good job. I couldn't look up at him or see how he was reacting. He was breathing pretty heavily, but about halfway through started moving his hips around. Is that good or bad? I was feeling like I wasn't doing a good job after that. I had almost his whole penis in my mouth and I was also using my hand at the bottom and had pretty good rythm. He came and i swallowed all of it and when I came up, he was smiling and I was like sorry that sucked and he was like "no it was amazing" but didnt really convince me.
He kept smiling after and I was like why do you keep smiling and he said "nothing yu just make me so happy"
After that I was pretty confident that he liked it. He was snuggling me and tickling me. I jokingly asked him what his favorite part of the njght was. He said "to see your gorgeous smile" and then he was like "but you want me to say your blow job" and then said "it was good but you can do better" I was kind of offended. Was it good or not? Should I be embarassed if it sucked?
When people write in for advice, it is so easy for them to paint a picture for us they want us to see, not what really is. Somehow, I have the feeling that something is not on the level here. Be it your age, perhaps way younger, your previous experience, hiding under a blanket just in case mom walks in...hahaha thats a funny picture. And what was the plan to tell anyone what you were doing under the blanket. Oh Hi mom. We're doing research for a class paper about what its like to be a preschooler and we're pretending to play tent! Your title says I think I did a bad blow job and at the end you contradict yourself, I was pretty confident. Give me a break... it sounds more like you are trying your hand at writing soft porn.
If this is really on the level, and you really want to continue to have sex and have no clue how to, you might want to check with planned parenthood, get protection and ask them for referal for free sex counseling in your area.
my father mental abused me and my siblings, and my parents love was all ways around , the fight and have there way with each other in frount of us kids i now grown up 51. and had three kids , never re married and find i only me a like my father and i want to throw up
We reflect our mother and father. When people see us, they see our parents come from us.
If you are a religious person and you believe God created you,
that makes you a son or daughter
because God created you.
It is true you see your father come out
make you sick
If you make God your Father
And you love him
and just try to understand Him
like you did your earthly father
You will see God the Father
Come out in you
You will see joy
Write me back if you want more help.
Okay hello f/14 :P so my friends hair is naturally dirty blonde and over the past 2 years shes dyed and cut her own hair and she sorta ran out of hair ideas :/ if you search Kitty Insanity on google (she us considered a new '"young scene queen") her hair is a pink/purple color and dark brown /black well she has asked me personally what to do with her gair. So if you have an idea or your familiar with the "scene" style please let me know :) brcause she honestlu has no clue what to dye it and it would really help her alot
Oh, I've seen that style on my Niece. Didn't know it had that name til I looked it up on the internet.
First, I don't know how often she has colored her hair lately in her quest to find a style that expresses her best but if its been too recent since the last coloring, try to get her to wait a bit.
I over-colored my hair in my 20's, way too often and one day, it was breaking off in chunks because I had badly damaged it and I was freaking out. I have heard through friends of people they knew who did the same and all their hair broke off and they had to go to wearing a wig for quite a while.
Inner beauty is even more important than outer beauty. I hope you both learn that one day.
As to what color to dye her hair and have it look good, I know a little about personal color analysis, the best colors to wear based on skin and hair color. I'm glad you gave her natural hair color. A brunette can wear the more dark brilliant colors of the same cool color palette as a Blonde can. Blondes simply needs a pastel version of the same. This works for clothes so not sure how it works for hair. Instead of purple, she'd choose lavender, instead of red or fushia, pink. Instead of forest green, a sea foam green. I am not savvy as to what colors are available..likely not much choices. One of my daughters dyed the tips of her long brunette hair a lime green when she was a teen about 12 yrs ago. There weren't many choices then and green was her favorite color but thats the only green that was offered. Just have her avoid too dark a color and she'll probably be okay. No jet black or dark purples, blues or greens. Avoid raggedy ann red and oranges and yellows. Those fit a natural Redhead better.
So me&my friend are both 15/f and my friend has depression. It's getting worse and worse and its been going on for months now and I have no idea what to do for her..she needs help. However, she does NOT want to go to the doctors, she cant tell my parents and I cant tell mine..its out of the question. Also my school is just so untrustworthy , we tried talking to them before and theyre just so stupid and unhelpful its ridiculous. Without all that is there a way to help her? I mean im assuming unhelpful answers here, but I need something thanks!
You do realize as her friend that you must be 100% committed because she's gonna need the support to stick with this throughout her healing process. I don't understand why the parents cant be told unless you feel they will cart her off to the doctors.
The subject of depression is close to my heart because I helped one daughter to use these methods to get over depression of losing a boyfriend. She lost weight and couldnt sleep before she finally took the one free appointment offered through her job to see a counselor. He told her everything I had already told her. She came to me in amazement..."mom you are really smart" During her worst days, she needed to hear my reassuring encouraging voice daily, leaning on my strength and reminders to use these healing methods.
I have felt depression during my lifetime too. I never liked the way it made me feel so I only allowed it to hang around maybe 3 days before I would employ these methods to raise my Neurotransmtters. At the time I did not know what they were and that doesnt matter, it still works.
Neurotransmitters NT's are chemicals located and released in the brain to allow an impulse from one nerve cell to pass to another nerve cell.
Our brain needs sufficient amounts of neurotransmitters (chemical messengers used by nerve cells) to function at its best. Stress, worry, emotional distress, depression, high blood pressure, ulcers, migraine headaches, strokes, alcoholism, anger, fatigue, drug addiction, poor eating habits and pollution, are indicators that your neurotransmitters are at dangerously low levels. Additionally, today's normal diet does not provide sufficient nutrients to produce adequate neurotransmitter NT levels.
Do computer researches one these words: neurotransmitter (low levels), serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin. All three are neurotransmitters.
You will find all sort of helpful information on the net on ways to raise the levels of these hormones which will help depression. Even diet is addressed. In fact, thats how Doctors help by introducing a precursor drug that allows the brain to make it on its own NT's if it isn't currently doing so. So can our brain create the NT's without a Doctors's prescription of a precursor drug? Yes the human body has a wonderful ability to self heal itself IF it is given the right conditions to do so.
Alright, then what are those conditions?
Hugging is a big one. Again do the research yourself on the net. Look up Hug therapy. Even more fun is to watch video's of people offering free hugs. In fact the two of you together for safety could both do the same making signs that say "Free Hugs" and give hugs to whomever comes up to you for hugs. You can't give a hug to someone without getting the NT's raising effect in return. Hugging instantly jump starts your brains ability to manufacture NT's so your levels go up. When the levels get back to normal levels, the depression should be much much less if not gone altogether. In science reports, 4 hugs a day are considered a bare basic survival for example and most of us get less or none every day.
HOW TO HUG
There are different ways to hug but the most effective for your friends need is this:
The full body hug. What we call a bear hug, totally enveloping us, it touches all the bases. We really look at each other. There is no evasion or ignoring that they are about to hug and make it last longer than a few seconds, the longer the better. Personalize and customize each hug you give. ending with some pats on the back when your bear hug is done or rock side to side while hugging. It all works
Laughter: You've heard the term that Laughter is the best medicine. That is because it had a medicinal effect on our bodies, helping us to produce the NT's we need. It's hard to want to laugh when feeling depressed so your friend will have to be committed to doing everything I list. Easy is putting really funny movies. Check internet for comedians and watch some shows. YOu may have to search for a style that you both find funny. Have you ever run into people whose speech is punctuated by laughs instead of "periods or comma's" That's me. I don't have to think about it. My body knows how much laughter is needed and so I impulsively laugh.
Brisk movement: In todays society, we sit in cars, sit in school, sit in front of the TV or computer. Our bodies do not get enough movement to produce NT's. I have heard a brisk walk suggested though that is not my favorite. So Putting on music and dancing to the beat is a good way to up your NT's, silly is good, spinning and twirling too. Just last week, I wrote a blog about hugging and wanted to do one on Skipping too as another way to get rid of depression.
Back to skipping, I don't mean skipping jump rope, just skipping like little kids do, that kind of hop, jump movement forward. You won't find it on an internet search. NO one has it. But I skipped last week with husband as he walked, I couldn't help laughing because i felt so silly and kid-like and it felt good. It's too embarassing to do along so go together, hold hands and skip. It's also good aerobic exercise.
Music, sound, singing: Music has always had a way to touch people in a restorative way. Some like using singing bowls, gong sounds. But the best is simply singing along to the songs where the melody itself makes you feel soo good. It may take a while for your friend to figure out which songs do that for her. So she may start her collection of those kinds of songs to use in the future once she is healed of depression but has a bad stressful day and puts on her playlist of mood lifting music. I can't describe it as anything different than a feeling of butterflies rising within you, your soul waking up from somewhere in your stomach, sprouting wings and wanting to fly out of your heart to soar in the air above in joy. When you feel that, you have the right music. It doesn't matter the lyrics as much as the sound of the melody. For example one of those songs for me is the song Clocks by Coldplay.
There isn't instant change and relief using natural methods to fight depression. After all you say it took a while for her to get worse over months time. So the healing willing be in slow bits too. She has to stick with this and try to do something everyday that helps raise the bodys NT's. Working on her thought process, vocalizing positive statements is good too. If you can't think of any, both of you join some pages on facebook that daily post positive sayings. Have her tell you which are her favorites, and if she can't pick, pick some for her. Write them down and stick them somewhere on her bedroom walls, and on her school binder...where she'll see them everyday. State them aloud together. At school she might want to whisper it under her breath...but repeatedly say them even if she doesn't feel positive. It will take some time to retrain her mind to stop thinking negatively which brings down the NT's and thinking positively which brings them up.
Good luck. May your guardian angels be working hard to bring this together. She is blessed to have you for a friend.
Okay! Let me explain this . . . I am a bisexual girl, and I am about to go to high school. The problem is, I have a crush on my teacher. She is female like I am, and I think she is the most amazing, talented, inspirational, and beautiful lady in the whole world.
Here is the worse problem: everyone at my school can tell that I have a crush on her! They can see it in the way I look at that teacher and blush whenever I'm around her. I am often teased about my feelings for her, and people hate me because I am bisexual.
I am worried that someone is going to tell her that I have a crush on her, because then she would never see me in the same way. Any advice? I'd appreciate any. Thanks!
Where the heck is your school..in the Bible belt? If you live in a state or county that is highly religious where practically every neighbor attends church and believes that anything other than one male and one female as a couple and only the missionary position for sex is acceptable...then I can understand the teasing. But from seeing 3 daughters through high school during the years 2000 through 2010, I know darn well how progress the school systems are becoming. Middle school kids can get free condoms and sexual care, they offer many not health related only but sex related courses and this includes introducing and covering the topics of all sorts of alternative lifestyles as I will call them. There was no such thing as I was in school. So I had to learn and adapt as an adult.
Gay's really pretty much get the spot light as far as having every right to be gay as we have to be straight. What isn't covered as often is bi-sexuality, transgender, and cross dressing. What is the most rare is polyamory, a triad where a girl has 2 boyfriends or a boy has 2 girlfriends and they all 3 are aware of it and choosing to be a 3 some as friends too, just that the 2 of same sex are not necessarily sexual together...more often not.
I read so many girls writing at your age who think something is wrong with them and wonder if they are gay and are confused because they are sexually attracted to both sexes.
I don't know if you are sexually active enough to be able to sense the difference between the sexual attraction of another female versus just adoring and worshipping her because she is such an amazing human being. If you have been in sexual relationships with girls already, likely you do know. If not, perhaps there's a chance you are not bi-sexual. If in your life you come across one person in your whole life time who is your sex and you are attracted to them sexually and act upon it, you've had a bi experience but that doesn't make you necessarily wired to be sexually attracted to any females ever again. Being bi-curious does not make oneself bi either.
Either way, it seems your biggest worry is that someone is going to tell her what you feel. Do you honestly think there are kids brave enough to do that? Has anyone hinted that they would tell her? If so, then the only way to alleviate your worries is to beat them to it. I call this 'facing your fears'. Once you face them they go away.
I am not suggesting you come out and tell her that you are bisexual, and that you have a crush or sexual feelings for her. That might make her uncomfortable. First off, there may be little chance of privacy to tell her in person without a chance of others hearing. Plus it may be more embarassing to say anything in person so write it in a letter, hand it directly to her when no one can see you doing this. Tell her to please read because it is very important to you because people are teasing you.
You will have to choose your own words but if you want, say that you are very close to some girlfriends, to the point that others have taken notice and assumed you are bisexual and have spread that idea of you through the school to the point you get teased about it or worse shunned. Some classmates have noticed how much you like her as a teacher. Admit that you think she is a wonderful, talented person and you probably have some hero worship of her. The kids see this too and are hinting at telling her that you are bi and want her sexually. So you wanted her to know before what's up before the kids tell their version of the story to her.
That should take the pressure off you enough that you don't worry about this. You do know that students shouldn't be interacting in personal relationships with teachers no matter what, right?
I will warn you that if you do decide to write a letter to your teacher, she may instinctively know that there is more to it than you let on. It may open a line of communication. She might ask you if you think you are bisexual too. If she is your health teacher, she might talk further, if she is any other teacher, she would likely say something about if you are struggling with that or how you're treated over that, to get some counseling to feel better about yourself...perhaps the school counselors may be suggested. The teacher knowing is not the end of the world, just more embarassing when you are young. Once you reach that point in life where it doesn't matter what others believe about you, you'll be blatantly out in the open enjoying your life.
Since you are moving on to high school, it may become even more prevalent there that teens been to realize their alternative sexual lifestyle tendencies. It would be good to advertise and invite all of those inclinations. High school is large than middle school so there's a bigger concentration of young adults there. Find support from the gay students, the bi students, the cross dressers and polyamorous. I mention this because I personally know a teen who started such a group in her school. She found guest speakers on particular topics to come in and talk to their group. This was all with the knowledge and okay of school officials, she was their teen contact for such a group. Never know, perhaps you'll conquer your fear and be able to help others in your position and actually learn some much needed pertinent information along the way.
Good luck!
17/f
I used to really take it to heart when people said something bad about me, but all of a sudden now I don't anymore.
If people physically are immature-like locking me in a room for a few minutes (me the other day) from somewhere now I just shout at them.
Also, in class if someone's nasty I'll respond back-just like say 'well that's not true'.
You see before I'd ignore comments but be angry when I got home that I did not stand up for myself but now I am doing I feel its to much.
So my question is how to be assertive but not look like an idiot eg.shouting my head off.
I am trying to imagine how you can get locked up in a room even a few minutes during the school day. We are talking high school here aren't we...not grade school? Where were the adults when this was happening. It may be maddening for you but no big deal otherwise. Imagine them doing the same to another kid who has phobia's. If they pushed a kid with claustrophobia into a closet and held them trapped there for a couple minutes, those few minutes would traumatize them so badly they might have to change schools.
There are laws that teachers can not touch your body in any way, not even a friendly hug. This is to protect you from teachers who may not be innocent and want to take advantage of you. Similarly, students should not be able to lay hands on any other student. I hardly think you willingly walked into the room or closet they locked you in. You likely resisted and they put hands on you and dragged you in.
That Is Bullying! In an age when teens are commiting suicide because they are being tortured verbally or physically beyond what they can handle, parents and school administrators are beginning to take attention and do what they can to stamp Bullying out.
Some kids will have a tougher hide than others. It is good to learn to not take things personally all the time. I told my kids growing up that kids who verbally abuse other kids most likely have a poor home life. Either they are ignored, not loved enough or they themselves are verbally abused or more. I explained this so my kids could feel for the abusers and not hate them. But at the same time, you can ignore comments only so much. Occasional comments are easy to ignore. If its a constant battering of abusive comments, there's a chance that professionals will see that as bordering on bullying. Read up on what bullying is.
Cute comebacks will not be very successful at your age because your peers have yet to grow and mature the part of the brain that handles knowing what is proper and improper behavior. It doesn't mature until into your 20's So your words likely will not have any effect, no more than they would if you were trying to communicate in english to a non english speaking person. I tried using logic on kids in school when i was teased. It did not work. Finally in last year of high school one girls brain matured enough that she realized how she had treated me was wrong and she apologized to me. There are versions of this going on in adult life too. I tried logic with a verbally abusive husband but it only irritated him more. He had some kind of mental illness that he didnt think he had..so untreated it continued to slowly get worse over the years. Something like that, a person can choose to walk away from and never go back. None of us deserves to be treated in any manner other than a loving caring one. You will choose wisely who you associate with in life because of this. In school, you can't walk away from it. Do learn how to be assertive in life. But right now, I'd talk to a school counselor and find out if they consider this bullying or not. If not, what constructive ways do they have to suggest you use to deal with the other students. I know this will make you look bad in classmates eyes...a squealer. Right now you are an angry one...some get depressed, some end their lives over it. I'd say being considered a squealer or a rat is preferrable to the other options.
Me and my girlfriend are still virgins but we have done stuff like she has blown me and gave me a handjob and i have fingured her but she wants me two eat her out and to be honest i dont know how. Or what it even is. Plzz help and dont judge. We are both 17
First, Hurray for you both wanting to take care of each others sexual needs but not going the chancier step of intercourse and risk of getting pregnant.
When done correctly for your girls particular needs, it is very fufilling for her, as much as her giving you a bj. In fact many men will both finger and give oral sex (go down on, eat out) their woman before having actual intercourse as a woman is able to have multiple orgasms before you even enter her. Some only have orgasms this way and thus it is an important factor in a healthy sexual relationship. Some women find this sensitizes their genitals in a way that makes her more easily able to achieve g-spot orgasms as well. All women are different in what one likes or not, how the oral sex has an affect on her. You should read as much info as you can on it. Once you begin to try using your tongue on her, you'll see it is much different than using your fingers, and you will need to learn all over again a different feel for it. How hard or gently or fast or slow will apply here too. She'll need to do her part in communicating when she likes something you are doing, like "keep doing that dont change" or "do the same thing but faster". Let her know you haven't done it before but are very willing to learn. If for some reason you both have some difficulty here, see if she's open to using a strong vibrating toy to sensitize her first until you learn to achieve the same without a toy.
Well I have 2 best friends we'll start here. So the deal is me and D (one of the best friends) are simply well not pretty. While T (our other best friend) she is gorgeous. T gets all the boys. And me and D are I think the only ones in our grade who haven't been asked out. I am really good friends with boys, in fact I sometimes find a boy's company even more comforting. I have a lot of things in common with boys. For once, I am a gamer and I like scary moovies. Well my point is looks is the only feature boys notice which well I lack. Will I really be forever alone? And how shall I deal with T?
PS: sorry this is kinda hard to read and understand
I understand what you wrote perfectly. Not hard to read. While in school, I never had attention from guys either. But once out of school, like you I had friendships with guys. In fact even today at my age, I still am more comfortable having male friends because females emotions are too up and down and all over the place for me.
You are so blessed at your age to have friendships with boys. The girls who have beauty will find that outward beauty begins to fade as they age. If they have no inner beauty, guys will be likely to dump them and they may end up miserable divorced singles, compared to you married to a wonderful man.
Boys at your age are more driven by hormones and therefore they go for the looks, not because they like who the girl is inside, but only because they hope to get kisses, groping in, or have sex.
Some of your gamer friends may have interest in trying dating and romance, but I'll bet that more of them are happier with just a friendship with girls. Many more graduate high school virgins than you think. It is not because they are gay or have something wrong with them sexually...they have the urges too. But they are using their school age times around girls as practice to using self control and not indulging in sexual activities just for the sake of experiencing it or indulging in their lust.
The boys you currently hang out with are also learning how to have a friendship first with a female, they want to learn all about how a girl thinks, her likes and dislikes. Girls are very mysterious creatures and the boys who take the time to understand them and learn how to have conversation and care about them just like their best friends are the ones who will be better choices as dating, romance and future husband material. They will be the ones who cherish all about you, not just the outside. And yet, they get that look in their eyes that shows passion, love for you. That is something that can't be faked. Though I am average in looks as my husband is, he tells me all the time how beautiful I am.
It gets even better girl. Listen to this...the boys who learn at some point (maybe during school days) to control their sexual needs and desires are the ones who ultimately are going to make the better lovers as adults than the boys who went to take care of their sexual needs in school. The guys who didn't go after the beauties because of their hormones, are more likely to take the time to please their woman first sexually before getting their release. Instead of having a guy who cums in minutes and then leaves the woman totally unfulfilled, they have a man who will spend an hour, hours pleasing his woman first.
At your age, though the guys dating your gorgeous friend don't initially always engage in sex, that is where it eventually leads. It is instantly gratifying to the guy but not to the girl because young boys are not thinking of pleasing the girl first.Your gorgeous friend may come crying one day to tell you her boyfriend dumped her because she wouldn't give him sex, or worse, she engaged in sex and is pregnant!
So, Enjoy friendships with boys right now. You're way ahead of the girls who have outer beauty.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years and have a great relationship, however our sex life is lacking. We have been in a dry spell for a very long time and I think we both need to make more of an effort but it is difficult as we both still live with our mothers. Yesterday he gave me an ultimatum that he needs someone in his life that can perform oral sex or he wouldn't have a problem breaking up an 8 yr or 20 yr relationship. This hurt really had I would never imagine him saying this. I questioned his sincerity with our relationship and he said this is something he just can't live without. I think he feels if I gave him more oral that his sex drive would go up. My issue is that I feel objectified with his remark and I told him that! I feel like I almost have to counter with an ultimatum to show him how it feels. It's not the oral sex that bothers me it's performing the oral sex because of an ultimatum that bothers me. I don't want to leave him but I need to know that our relationship means something to him and that he isn't going to just walk out one day.
You say you've been together 8 years and the sexual dry spell has been Very Long...how long...half that time, more than half? With every new relationship, there is a special thing that happens called NRE (New Relationship Energy) and that can easily mimic the strength of having terrific chemistry together. NRE has a euphoric effect, excitement is higher than normal.But after time it will die down and you are left with what the relationship really has. Either a couple has terrific sexual chemistry together or not. A terrific one carries on after the euphoria of the NRE dies off. Couples who have some or slight chemistry together, will find that after the NRE fades away, they are left with sexual chemistry that is hit and miss and as time goes on, it's more the miss than the hit. This is the case for a great majority of marriages, eventually the sexual intimacy is nil due to this occurance and either they begin to have affairs, cheating on each other or divorce. Why do we end up in relationships like this? Because, like myself at 20, we have no great vast life experience behind us to know the difference between the real thing or not. That is why once we gain this life experience, we make decisions to change the course of our lives, whether it be job, or partnership or something else.
The last situation is when two people meet but there is No sexual chemistry together. Either they go their own ways or because they want to experience sex badly for the first time or just plain feel like everyone is in a relationship except theirselves, they force the issue and the relationship is crummy from the start.
Can you see from my description how putting more effort into your relationship is like beating a dead horse? Though you may not want to hear this, you are going to have to come to grips with this mentally for obviously you are not in the first catagory of having sexual chemistry.
And then even if there was sexual chemistry, that does not guarantee that a man will treat a woman like his Queen. The fact that he is making ultimatums shows that he thinks of himself first instead of upholding and supporting you and loving you without any consideration to his needs or what he gets in return. The sooner you realize that not only is there no sexual chemistry but he is a poor example of a man, the better off you will be.
Who cares if you put 8 years in to him? I put 30 years in to an abusive husband I had no chemistry with because as a Christian I wanted to love him unconditionally. I left that relationship finally. My only regrets are that I didn't do so sooner. I now have a husband who is my sexual equal, the NRE we felt wore off and we settled into a very vibrant ongoing sex life and life of loving and supporting each other. We never make demands of each other. We have never raised our voice to each other. We are very blessed and I want to see you experience the same.
Sometimes we have lessons in life that are hard to learn. Wanting to Counter with ultimatums means you are not yet looking at this from a mature adult perspective. I know that hurts. I was once there as a young person but I learned to mature quickly because I did not enjoy the pain I was feeling when I chose an immature response. Maybe one of your lessons in life is to love yourself enough to not settle for less but place yourself in the best relationship possible. To be able to do that, you will have to let go of the ideals that fill your mind now as being right for you.
I wish you the best.
I am 24 years old but i am mentally retarded at least that's what my mom says. my mom has been sick with brain tumors for almost 2 years now. I will give you an example of the abuse if that helps. The other day I was trying to move a love seat for my mom it fell on my foot I screamed she called me a bitch and any other word she could possibly think of . she also hit me in the head 3 times with her fists as hard as could screaming you stupid bitch I hate you, you can't do anything right . I mean wouldn't you scream if a love seat fell on your foot. I think you would. I didn't have shoes on either . she threatened to take my phone away if I screamed like that again even though i pay for the phone myself. I have been contemplating suicide the other day I took 8 Tylenol at 1 on time because my head hurt so bad when she hit me in the head with her fists. I don't want to press charges because of her condition and I don't feel like I can move out because she is raising 3 of her grand kids by herself in her condition and i am the only daughter out of 3 who is willing to stick by her no matter how mean she gets what should I do please help i am at my wits end and about to have a nervous break down and about ready to put and end to it all .
Adviceman covered every thing well so I will just echo a point. My husband has a friend from his past who got married to a wonderful man. Unfortunately for about 5 years now that man has had a condition he is slowly dieing from. He is in great pain all the time. The wife is his total caregiver. His condition has totally changed his behavior so that he abuses his wife the same way you are experiencing with your mom. He screams and yells verbal abuse and hits her all the time. During his few lucid moments, he has no recollection of how he treated her and says he is sorry. She won't listen to reason from my husband and reach out for professional help. So in his contact with her, my husband has seen her health begin to go downhill quickly due to the stress. She is beginning to show some very major illnesses herself that may take her life early in the end.
I share this story because, out of the relationship of husband/wife she felt it her duty to stay by his side and that is good, but it is not her duty to willingly be emotionally and physically abused. You are in the same position with a mother/daughter relationship that is a precious relationship when both individuals are healthy and not changed dangerously by an illness or physical condition.
You must seek help for yourself and the grandchildren...your nieces and nephews.
Life sometimes throws us curve balls like this..something we never expected we'd need to deal with but deal with it you must. It's a hard thing at 24 to see your own mom affected this way. Don't let your love for her prevent you from placing her with medical professionals who can handle her outbursts because there is a whole team of people to work with her in the care facility. Her outbursts will continue and be directed onto the medical personnel if there isn't something that can be done to heal her. Your nieces and nephews have already had a hard piece of life if for whatever reason they are not able to be raised by their own mom...your sister. That is enough emotional trauma for them to carry for life, not having their mom. That alone is enough to create feelings of abandonment and other psychological problems that crop up later in life. Add to that living under the same roof with your ailing mom...that will only compound the problems for them and could possibly destroy their lives in the end result. Even if she only yells and hits you and not them, it is the same as any child growing up in a home where Dad beats mom and maybe the kids too or maybe not.But kids will be affected even if not touched just by witnessing others being mistreated.
I know an adult woman friend who remembers shaking in fear that he would find her and beat her too before he conked out in drunken stupor. She still recalls what it felt like to hear the screams of agony of her siblings as he beat them. I can tell you right now that all the counseling she's gotten has not had much of an impact on the emotional, psychological scarring she still carries. And it really does affect her life.
Please talk to doctors and get some help for the household, your life and those of the younger children depend on it.
So me and mt best friend are both sophomores in college &we used to be inseperetable. Even freshman year. Now this year when she's at school she barelyyyy talks to me. I always make the effort but she never does. It's been going on all year but she's coming home for summer soon. I know we wil be back to our old selves again but I don't want to only be her best friend when she's not at school. Because when I'm away I am busy but still make a huge effort. Whenever I confront her about it she says she's so busy... Yet she has a lot of time to tweet. I feel so stressed and depressed lately over our relationship. Besides talking to her because that never helps so far does anyone have any ideas of what I should do?!
Thank you s much!
College isn't the problem you know. It's a fact of life that most often we drift apart due to life's experiences. If not for college, perhaps marriage and moving to where husband has work, having and raising children takes a lot of our focus, or the career that you have chosen and working your way up the ladder.
You say with summer you'll be your old selves again. Maybe at this time, have a talk together to promise each other to stay in touch to matter where life takes you or how busy you get. This means it will be a fun treat to hear from each other, not a regular thing. You can not expect her to agree to stay in touch and hear from her daily, once a week, once a month even. It may somewhat a regular pattern to begin with though not often and then switch to times when a couple of years go by before you hear from each other. Only a very tiny bit of humanity get a chance to grow through life in person with a childhood best friend.
I will use my mother in law for an example. Now in her eighties and it being hard for her to get around, she finally does not meet her childhood friend anymore. But all through life, they kept in touch with letters and phone calls. When I married into the family, she showed me pictures of her best friend from childhood and stories of how their lives changed. Yet even after a few years went by they found a way to make a visit and get together in person. All those years they kept in touch and when they got together, it felt as if no time had passed, she was the same friend inside as Mom remembered from childhood, her personality intact.
I can attest to that. I had a childhood fried. I am in my 50's. Over life, I had a chance to be together 3 times only in person, besides the letter and then later facebook. But when I was in person one of those times, I shook my finger at her in play admonishing her and she snapped with her teeth at my finger so quickly it startled me causing me to pull my hand back quickly. She started giggling and I realized that I used to shake my finger at her in tease all the time and Every time, she reacted in exactly the same way.
It is wonderful to have a childhood friend to keep tabs on throughout the years. If you get blessed with it, Enjoy that. Not many have that.
You will have many new close friends and perhaps even have several best friends at the same time...it's possible, it happened to me. You may make big changes in your life, take big steps of growth that transform you into a person who now has less in common with your friend. What you will have in common perhaps is working a job, dating, getting married, having kids, your kids' marriage and becoming grandma. The circumstances in each of those situations may differ greatly. What if for example one of you has a man who ends up abusive and you divorce while the other is happily myarried to the best guy ever. What if one has no problem birthing children. The other has inability to get pregnant and must adopt or has many miscarriages. All these circumstances will change each of you in subtle ways where you become even more different from the young person you remember. When I changed from my Christian beliefs 10 years ago to a blend of Christian and earth based religion, I found I could no longer discuss how church is going for me since I no longer attend. That is another thing I do not have in common with people any more, even the more recent friends made in my church days.
If you can understand this in your mind and choose to accept if, the stress and depression should disappear. If you mentally fight the changes, you will continue to be stressed.
I hope you find peace with life's changes now because there are a lot more to come.
This is about my female teacher and I'm a female too.
sometimes i have caught her looking at me.Sometimes when we look at each other, either she looks away quickly or I have to break eye contact.
When she is teaching, 90% of the time she is looking at me.
When she makes a joke, or makes fun of a student in our class (when I say makes fun of someone, I don't mean that she's mean to the student.) she always looks at me after and smiles.
One time our class had to bring something for a shared lunch, and most of the boys forgot to bring something, so the teacher said to them that they had to sing a song, so the boys asked what song, and then the teacher said "girls just wanna have fun" then straight away she looked at me...
I brought cupcakes (I know, cupcakes are for younger people, not people in highschool, but it's the only thing I could bring lol) and the teacher had one, then I saw her take a bit of icing off of her cupcake and lick it off of her finger while looking at me then she smiled...like trying to be sexy?
Sometimes when the bell goes, she stands by the door and when I walk past, our bodies touch. There is plenty of room for her to move but she just stands there and obviously doesn't mind our bodies touching? (I'm too shy to say excuse me...)
One time she stopped talking to someone just to say bye, have a nice weekend to me.
When we were in the school library once, she sat next to me. Out of all of the free tables and chairs she sat next to me.
One time when this boy sat next to me, half way though the lesson she comes over to our table sits down next to the boy, and asks the boy why he's sitting next to me.
I don't know I'm just confused, what do you think? What's your opinion?
And I understand the never have a relationship with a teacher thing.
Hi. I am seeing this a week later. Hope I can add something helpful. Someone else mentioned the same thing I thought that maybe you remind her of herself at that age or of someone else, a kid sister, etc... All the things you mentioned could mean something is up with her concerning how she is treating you, and perhaps not.
If it gets to the point that your ability to do well in your grades in class are affected by it, it is time to make an appointment with your school counselor and let them know your wish to be transferred to a different teachers class. They may not want to do so without good reason, just say it's an extreme personality conflict and that it is affecting your grades. They still may not do it but its worth a try. If you are too shy to say excuse me, then likely you are too shy to go to a school counselor. Maybe one of your life lessons is to learn to not be so shy...i know it was for me. I was painfully shy as a child. It wasn't until high school I decided I was sick and tired of being so shy and asked God for help.
If you are ready to work on that, heres how:
1. Every day smile at people as you pass them. (OH my, they might start a conversation with me, that's scary!) Do it until you can do so without feeling uncomfortable anymore. There is no timetable in which you need to complete this...go at your own pace.
2. Once step 1 is mastered you add one little thing, smile and say Hi as you walk past or see people. (Oh, that's even more threatening...I spoke a word so they might really start talking to me.) Funny thing is most people never did talk to me, the few that made a comment, I could nod my head and just smile in answer. Keep doing this until you no longer have fears of people maybe starting convo with you.
3. This next one is a bit more challenging. Repeat the other steps, smile, say hi and then...make a short comment. ie "I saw your doodling, you're a great artist." "I really like your shoes, or necklace". People will smile and say thanks. Only sometimes do they volunteer more info like, "I got the necklace from my older sister for my birthday." You don;t have to make another comment to what was volunteered. Thats its. Keep doing this until you are finally comfortable with this.
4. Theres more??? Yes. LOL Now you progress to having a conversation and you are the one who starts it. And further more, you choose a total stranger to talk to. The easiest way is when you are out at the mall, any store. You might be looking for something for real or just looking for fun. Notice who else is there. At the same clothing rack, pull an item out and say 'excuse me, have you seen any more of this style is size small, med large...whatever pertains to you. If she says no and nothing else. Try another comment, "I always have a hard time finding clothes I like, don't you?" That will likely get a response from her. Practice a couple of comments back and forth until you are comfortable with it, and the next thing you'll realize is that you are no longer shy. In fact, you may have become more extrovert, outgoing, talkative than many of your friends. I certainly did.
This is an important thing to learn in life so that you don't have to suffer through uncomfortable situations like the one you have now.
Imagine being able to tell the female teacher, Excuse me, I can't get through. If she doesn't move, you'll be brave enough to say something more like, "I don't know how to say this politely so I will just say that I do not particularly enjoy rubbing body parts with other people just to get through the doorway. Maybe I am over sensitive, but could you please humor me and step aside?" There's just enough politeness but also assertiveness in something like that. You will know what sound s right for you to say.
Now if the teacher does not move out of the way, and begin to attempt touching you in other way, like touching your shoulder or patting you on the back, the laws are now that teachers can no longer do that as was possible when I was growing up. These laws are there to protect you. Once you are no longer too shy to deal with it, if she persists, it will be easy to go to your counselor and talk to them about it.
By the way, I do find it odd that a teacher would chose on several occasions to sit next to a student. I know of no teacher in my school years ever seeking out a student to sit next to. That in itself is very odd behavior for a teacher.
What if the reason for your suiside are to lift the burden you feel your putting on your friends and family now, to be selfesh is to only think ones self but what if you leave no mess for family to find what if you really have exhausted all other options I'm asking this because I am young enough know and old enough to realize my family shouldn't have to cart me from drs to drs because my poor health and being so depressed in front of them is only bringing them down
The only kind of burden suicide might lift is a financial one. Death of a child, no matter what the reason is a hard thing for any parent to cope with and will affect them for the rest of their lives. Us parents have the belief that we will age and die before our children so if the child dies first, it is very devastating. If you think the situation is "bringing them down" as you say, suicide will be much much worse for them.
A search on the internet will bring you many sites, support groups for parents trying to cope with a childs suicide death. Here is a site to look at if you will, a mom wrote a book and a portion of her story is on line to read:
http://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/suicide-of-a-child.htm
I know you can't quite feel right about telling your parents you are thinking of suicide but perhaps you can find someone to talk to who has already lost a child that way.
It is not selfish to think of ones needs first in some circumstances. However, Suicide is a pretty final thing. There's no changing your mind and going back to this life. However, I believe there is reincarnation. If there is even the slightest chance that I am right, this belief says that what hard life lesson you don't deal with in this life, your soul will have to deal with in another life. For that one reason...I prefer toughing out all my difficulties in this life so I don't have to go through it again and again.
I don;t have a penny to my name. Husband and I have no jobs. Some nice people are letting us live with them in exchange for helps we give them. My situation alone has been enough for many an adult to commit suicide because they couldn't cope with being so destitute. Life isn't easy for anyone. Everyone has their own set of circumstances to go through that are VERY PAINFUL..either physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually. Oh yes, let me add one. For 30 years I was married to the first husband who was abusive. No, life is not easy. That is why it is a good thing to reach out to others for help when you feel like you can't handle it anymore. And somehow with their help, you manage to get past another day, another week, month, year.
There's so much I don't know from what you wrote that is it very hard to say much of anything more.
I don't know if you are in constant pain, if you've been ill since birth, if it crippling, life threatening, if Drs. even know what is wrong with you. I wish you the best. Don't give up!