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He's uninterested...I can tell.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years. I am graduating high school in June,and he has a very successful job. We've had our fair share of hardships, but they just never get solved, really. We'll talk about it, and then we'll be better equally for a few weeks or even months, and then it's back in our fighting cycle. I bottle my feelings up because I don't want to hurt him if something serious comes up, he walks away during fights, gets aggressive, and jumps to conclusions, twisting my words up into his own form.
For a while, we both stopped being so irritated with each other, but of course, like always, it came back. I've also noticed lately he seems uninterested in me. It was my birthday, so he took me out to eat, and it was a romantic dinner. But after that, he stopped doing the little things he normally does. He no longer seems happy to see me, calls me beautiful, or makes me feel special. I'm at a depressing point in my life with all this pressure of graduating, family life, and everything else going on. I feel alone, suicidal, and destructive. I feel distant and like we're just friends because he doesn't do anything special for me anymore. I have adjusted my attitude and life to make him happy...why can't he do that for me? I'm giving and giving and he's just taking. I tried to talk to him about it, but he just takes my honesty too seriously and stomps away. He always pouts when I don't run after him, but this has become so tedious since we fight so much...and I feel we're past that point in our relationship. Someone please help...I'm going to let go of him if this doesn't get fixed...
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Your situation isn't uncommon. Since your problems never get solved and this turns into a cycle, you're going to have to changed this.
He is truly being immature for stomping off and not taking these problems seriously.
After being in a relationship for awhile, guys don't keep doing the sweet little things to keep you interested and make you happy. They kinda just expect you to stay. During a time you guys aren't tense, sit him down and talk to him, no fighting, don't argue with him and don't threaten him with breaking up or something.
Tell him you want to do more things with him, tell him you miss when he did sweet things for you. Tell him that you feel like he's losing interest in you. Hopefully he'll tell you he's not and reassure you.
Relationships are give and take. You know that, but he probably doesn't realize this and is probably losing interest because of the fighting.
Find a way to work through the problems. Tell him to tell you the things that bother him, but don't defend yourself, just listen and you can do the same. Don't attack him with "You're doing this wrong! And this and this, ect" It'll push him away and cause him to defend himself.
Just tell him to listen to you, and that you want to fix these problems. You can't be lazy in relationships.
Give it a try and if he's not willing, then just let him go.
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Oh my goodness...where to start. There is so much you don't know yet about the differences between men and women in how they work through things, what are mature ways to work through issues, what is an example of a healthy relationship, responding vs reacting, how to relate to humans period. Not just guys you are dating., Chemistry or lack of it, different personality styles, the list goes on.
The reason you don't know these things yet is partly due to your age. When I was your age, I did not have years of life experience yet either. But that road is called the school of hard knocks. Looks like thats what you are experiencing right now. The way to speed up your learning experience is through head knowledge. I recommend that you do lots of studying and reading...good books on how to compromise, how to understand the opposite sex...etc. Head knowledge though isn't always easy to put into practice but you will at least be better equipped by having some constructive knowledge and ideas. I get it across to you, I have to write you a book right now.
You have some preconcieved idea's of how a relationship is supposed to work. And worse yet, you have some preconcieved ideas of what a healthy relationship is. Right now, you are not in a healthy relationship. I think your inner voice already knows the answer. Time to let him go. Then focus on getting some education from books first. Don't know if you're religious, but if you have a higher power you believe in, whether Jesus, Goddess, Buddha or just guardian angels, asking for guidance there is a good thing to start now in life. I did at your age. And it has served me well. Some of my best decisions in life were with the help of Spirit. The creator knows you better than anyone and certainly more than I can guess to even give more construct advice. You will be talking one way it will seem for months maybe years before your mind learns how to hear back from the source. Good luck sweetie. Sorry I cant give you anything precise..it really wouldn't help.
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