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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
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I am a 17 year old boy. I have been with my girlfriend for about 5 months now. When we first started dating, she was really into me but I was still a bit iffy, which probably was a mistake. Since then, she has really fallen in love with me and tells me often, but I don't quite feel the same way. I do love her and care about her a lot, but just don't feel as good about the relationship as I used to. The only thing is, dating me took her out of a deep struggle of depression which included lots of self-harm. She is very happy to be with me, but I am scared that I am her only sense of happiness and breaking up with her will send her back into depression and she may hurt herself, or worse. The one time we discussed breaking up, she cut herself, but then regretted it and told me she would never do it again. But still. What do I do? I feel pressured to stay in the relationship, and I am still not 100% sure if I want it to end.
Anyone who enters a relationship in a state of lack personally, is going to lean totally on another person for strength and for purpose to live etc...
That is not a healthy place to be for your girlfriend. You are instinctively picking up that there is something not healthy about your relationship. Whether now or later in life, if you end up having a girl dependant on you for her happiness instead of generating it within herself, then you will be unhappy. So its not her...its the situation. Plus, not to mention that it sucks you emotionally dry.
If you allow it to continue, you enable her to remain stuck and not grow past what issues lie deep down inside of her that neither you nor I can help her with. I am not saying to break up. Read on:
She needs a professional counselor. And she needs to be willing to go with the program and improve. There's a possibility she's not ready and that's her choice. You need to go talk to a school counselor and tell them everything you told me and any more that pertains to this. They need to know her reactions to your discussing breaking up.They need to know she's been depressed before. The counselors then have the responsibility to tell her parents. Perhaps she already has been to counselors. Perhaps she has been prescribed anti depression meds and they arent working but her parents assume it works. Or maybe she isnt taking her meds which is a great concern and must be addressed by parents and a psychiatrist. Or worst possible case yet, she is suffering a form of mental illness that is easily treatable and she could lead a normal life but nobody is seeing the signs and she has not yet been diagnosed.
Make sure you stress that you don't want to have to go through life with a feeling of guilt if she went to the point of committing suicide all because you wanted to end the relationship.
I understand that you aren't sure you want to end it, that you see something in her that you do like, but you need to say something that gets the adults in charge to take this seriously and look into it.
I want to commend you for being so alert to the feelings of others and caring enough to ask for help. Blessings to you and may all go well for both you and for her
I have two female rabbits and they are generally sociable with me and do not bite or nothing but recently for about 2 days they have been snapping and making squeking noise at me everytime I put food in their cage :/ I only pick them up to put them in their run and leave them for an hour or so to graze on the grass but I cannot pick them up now. I rarely pick them up! Is this behaviour normal for rabbits ?
My daughters had dwarf rabbits while growing up. In dont recall them ever making a noise unless they were hurt or scared. If you don;t get a helpful response from someone else on here, you might try and see if there is a 4H group online that offers advice. Good luck!
In the past school year, I've become friends with the principal violist of my orchestra. I've always really, really looked up to her. She's two years older than me (I'm 14). In my mind, she's the embodiment of perfection. She's an incredible violist – better than nearly every student I've ever met and better than almost every student in the country. She's the type that wins competitions, scholarships, and awards right and left, and regional orchestras practically beg to have her solo with them. In addition, she's beautiful, nice, likable, kind, funny, and popular. I've tried to be like her before; my attempts resulted in depression and self-hatred.
In the past year, I've also become obsessed with her. I think about her all the time – probably once every fifteen minutes. Whenever we're together, I pretty much follow her around. I Facebook stalk her. I read every review of every concert she plays. I probably should try to stop obsessing about her, especially because it's practically an invitation to compare myself to her.
And then, almost three weeks ago, she announced that she's leaving the orchestra. She made it into a big pre-college conservatory program 1000 miles away, where she's going to be studying with some of the best teachers in the world and building her career. I pretended to be happy for her, then went home and cried. I still can't get over the fact that she's leaving and I'm really depressed about it. I'm fairly new to the orchestra, this season having been my second year, and when I didn't know anyone else, she was the one who talked to me. I'm hoping that I'll stop obsessing over her when she's gone.
I don't even know her that well. We've only really been friends for a few months. Over the course of my life so far, I've had a lot of friends leave me and I really want a close friend.
How can I let go?
From what you wrote it looks like we have 3 issues here. Comparing yourself to others You have a need for a close friend and How do you let go.
In some ways they are connected. It would be easier to let go if you had another close friend to distract you until you emotionally heal from the loss of your friend.
You don't have the close friends because you need first to work through your issues of not feeling you are good enough. We all catch ourselves doing it throughout our lives. I did it 4 yrs ago when my new husband wrote me on a dating site. He sounded so intellectual that i thought with only a highschool education that I might not be at his level intelligence wise. But I did not let my thoughts hold me back. We met and all my thoughts of inferiority were unfounded. I knew things he did not know and he knew things i did not know. We would be able to learn from each other.
We are all different with our strengths and weaknesses. Some have a natural ability with a particular hobbie or art such as your violist friend. You have one too. You are able to play an instrument too but perhaps your strength lies in an area you haven't discovered yet. Lets say you apply yourself to gardening and discover you have a natural knack for putting plants in just the right places so that not only does a garden look great but the plants thrive and this is just a natural talent. Once you study botany or master gardening you become so good that everyone wants you to work on their yards. Is one talent better than the other? No. They are simply different. One day your Violist friend and her orchestra members who are in the limelight, will come to you to design and landscape their yards because they not only don't have the time with their music career but they don't have the talent.
You need to learn about 'stinking thinking' i got that phrase from a self help book on how our thoughts can cause a low self image and other problems. And the trick is to catch yourself at it. Which will be every other minute at first. Once you retrain yourself to think differently, it's amazing how your own self confidence will attract people to you. But you'll also want to learn how to be a friend to get a friend. Dont go looking first for what you can get from someone else. When you enter any relationship in life from a stand point of feeling you lack, you will lean too heavily on the other person for your self confidence so that if anything happens and they leave or die, you are helplessly lost again.
Starting looking at self help books. Take your time. Many are written just for teens. Talk to the store clerk and let them know exactly what you want to learn to deal with. Randomly open the books at several different places and read a paragraph or page. If it isn't catching your interest or the style of writing bores you or goes over your head, don't get it. You don't want it to feel like a textbook but a juicy romance novel..the book you can't wait to turn the page to see what you will learn next. Yup, those books are out there!! Again I cant stress enough that you take your time in choosing the right book for you. You may want to try a second book later.When you are so focused on improving your self image, you will find you don't have the time to focus on her or miss her.
I would like one last time to drive home a point about comparisons. You said she was beautiful. That saying, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" It all comes down to personal taste as to what a guy will find beautiful in looks in a female, what a person finds to be their favorite music. I don't like grunge or heavy metal or rap music but thats my personal taste. Does it make those music venues bad? No. They are different than my personal likes. How about looks? Young females freak over their looks way too much. Look up on youtube celebreties without makeup on and you'll begin to get the picture...most of them all look as ordinary as the non celebrity people of this world. When I was on dating sites to meet my husband, I learned a lot of things. Some guys like thin women, some like chubby, some like obese, some guys my age are attracted to younger women, some your age are attracted to older women, some like women who paint their nails, wear tons of makeup and fuss alot with their hair and wear the latest fashion, others like women like me who don't color my hair, let it be natural and no makeup or nails done, just the earthy girl next door look but older than you. I thought maybe as I got older and the type of beauty i had when i was your age is fading, that guys would not find me as attractive. I am happy with my looks for my age and that makes all the difference. In my photos on the dating site, guys would comment that I was cute, beautiful, hot, sexy, look like I enjoy showing off my beauty as my age. I never expected to get comments like that but I met some of the people and they truly were genuine nice people and not making it up just to meet me. What I am trying to say that of all your issues, the biggest one you have to battle is your self image.
I have taken this much typing to give you enough examples cus I really feel for you. I was shy and had a lower self image when i was young but began to outgrow it around the time I graduated. Good luck!
You have answered my last couple auestions about this guy I like. About how we hangout and I'm really starting to like him and you have been giving me the best advice so I hope it doesn't bother you that I'm asking you this question.
Well last night we were talking on the phone and he was asking me why I get nervous around him. That people know why they get nervous and started giving me examples like if I get called into the office at work by my boss I'm going to be nervous if I did something wrong or whatever and a few other similar examples then said examples if "I like someone or have feeling for them maybe I have some kind of puppylove thing are other examples of why someone could be nervous around someone" and I knew right then He knows I like him and I just denied it I said depending on who the persin is I usually just get nervous in general. When I told my grandma she said he opened the door for you and you didn't walk in. And I felt horrible so I texted him and said "hey remember when you told me don't think justreact" and I was going to tell him how I felt well he didn't reply so I messaged him and said that cheesy pickup line "I know who has a crush on you and if I wasn't so shy I'd tell you" and he read it but didn't reply so I went to sleep then today I texted him and said hey I was wondering when we could hangout again cause I have to tell you something important. And he hasn't replied. What do I do . Please. My grandma and coworker said maybe he felt rejected and that's why. But I don't know I'm so lost. And this is the most perfect guy I've met that I believe had feelings for me as well :(
If you were him, wouldn't you feel rejected? Not that i think thats what you're doing. I feel it's more like you are fighting yourself.
Let me explain. Your conscious mind has taken in the fact that he is the perfect guy. But your subconscious mind is fighting you. The subconscious is where all our emotions and feelings come from.
Lets call your conscious self Lisa and your subconscious self Maria. Maria, is for all rules and purposes like another entity living inside of you. Since all her feelings and emotions are holding Lisa back from enjoying this guy, you need to have a heart to heart talk with Maria and find out why. Ok. so this sounds weird..yes i know but i can also tell you I talk to my sub lets call her Selena. If I am feeling kinda not myself and kinda down but i dont know why...I ask her just by voicing the thoughts in my mind. Its easier if you give her a name until she tells you what her name is. Something like this for a convo: "Hey Maria...you get so nervous when this and this happens. Why? I need to know because its affecting my life. I could lose out on a great guy.( Maria is also your inner child. So think of a little kids fears, blown out of proportion but valid all the same. You will need to ask some questions.) Do you feel like you don't deserve to be happy? Why do you feel so nervous all the time? Do you feel not special, insignificant? Because I think you are special. You are part of me, you help me dream, you help run all the things I dont have to think about in my body like automatically breathing and blinking my eyes. I dont have to put any thought to that stuff. You are amazing with all the things you can handle at once. You and I are stuck in this same body together so we're going to have to cooperate. If you are worried about something let me know. I want to address your fears. But you will need to trust me. I will NOT put both you and I in a situation that is dangerous for us, like an abusive relationship. But it is important for us to grow and learn and sometimes that means we will be in situations like at a job where we feel overwhelmed but we can make it through. And for rewards to you, let me know what you want to do, if its just swinging on a swing at the park or watching a favorite movie...i will take time for us."
Now you should have a better idea what to say to yourself. Once both your conscious and sub conscious minds are cooperating, things should get better.
But you are in a crisis spot right now and hurt as he is, your special guy might be so disappointed and moves on soon, he won't keep waiting for ever. It will take more than texting. That is as impersonal as he was treated face to face. Maria is going to have to allow you to do whatever you need to save the situation. I know texting and FB mssgs are the fav. way to communicate but in a close relationship or relating to people my age bracket, we learned first to communicate in person. You miss so much in texting, the look in his eyes, expression on his face and body language when you sincerely want to apologize. He also cant read your eyes and see how sorry you really are. This is something best done in person. Call (not text) and ask if you can meet as you have something to tell him. Hopefully you'll also know something from Maria by then. Tell him you've been suffering from a feeling of _______ personally. Something that explains your behavior. It's not him, it's an issue you need to work through. Nows the time to tell him that you really are crazy for him and want to be his girl. Ask him if he would forgive you and be willing to work with you again to encourage you to change. That you are not going to TRY changing, that you WILL change because you are determined to not miss out on opportunities and relationships in life.
I know my examples sound like something from a Sybil movie on split personalities, but Psychologically it is sound...I just explain it my own way...not professor level. And I have learned more about how our higher self conscious self and subconscious all work together in a book on the ancient Hawaiian Huna spiritual beliefs.
I sure hope you and your sub can learn to work together and in a hurry!
Ok, so there's this teacher at school (who I guess I quite like...) and I'm really desperate to know what he thinks of me... Basically,
1. He always compliments me on my intelligence (oh, you're the best student I've ever taught) and sometimes my looks (he told me I looked pretty at a school party for instance).
2. I'm always welcome to go and sit in his classroom (be it after school or at lunch time) and he'll happily sit and chat about pretty much anything. Normally, when people go in his room he keeps the door open but when it's just me and him he always goes and shuts the door...
3. He gave me one of his old books as a present and wrote an inscription in it for me. He told me that he's never done that before and won't be giving away any more to anyone else.
4. He's always really nice to me but also jokes around a lot and is comfortable making fun of me.
5. He's leaving soon and has said I can add him on Facebook (he literally told me exactly how to find him) and that he wants to keep in contact.
I don’t know if I’m thinking too deeply into this, or trying to imagine something that isn’t there so please help!
wow, this sounds identical to someone who wrote in a while ago. There must be an epidemic of teachers getting too friendly with their students.
While the teacher may be innocent in all his attention, during the teen years, what had one effect in building the esteem of a shy child in grade school is in danger of having a different affect on a teen during the years of their hormones going crazy.
What worries me is that I don't know what you mean when you say you like this teacher and are desperate to know what he thinks of you. Teen girls all go through the experience of needing validation that she as a female is a very nice person and pretty or attractive. I did at that age. Many are unaware they are hungry for this input. My dad pointed out that I was asking his opinion more often of what my outfits looked like on me and that I was asking for more hugs from him. All very innocent. It becomes tricky when a female student is not getting that from a dad figure or uncle or grandpa but some male outside the family. It's even trickier when that person is someone you see on a daily basis, your teacher at school.
Many schools are starting to notice that teachers and students are friending on facebook. While right now only some schools are banning that, some school districts are choosing to do so until guidelines can be created and set. Some states at state level are already looking into this. To have his personal email even if you were not his student, could put his job in question if the school he's moving to has banned it.
This is going to be a bit long. Theres much I didnt say to the last girl who wrote in but now i see its a really big issue.
Tell me, what signs does a teen girl look for in a boy to know that he is interested in her? You know the usual, looks at her a lot even if not talking yet, finds excuses to be near her a lot. Boy more self assured have conversations with you, give you gifts and hang out in your company and call and text and friend you on FB. You have an inborn need for this kind of attention if youre young. But I dont know your age here. If you are in college, you are of legal age, no problem. But if in high school or younger, he is making everything appear on the line if anyone cared to look. However one example of strange behaviour on his part is what he said when giving you a gift. Teachers sometimes give gifts to their students but from what my daughters told me, everyone got something, usually a bookmark, like LOTR when the movie came out. your words were: He told me that he's never done that before and won't be giving away any more to anyone else.
All he had to do was give the gift. But he added that he had never done this before and no one else was getting a gift from him...because he WANTED you to know how he feels about you. If a boy gave you a gift and says he's never given a girl a gift before and you're the only one he ever will give gifts to, I'd say the kid has a major crush on you and you two will be dating in no time. But a teacher? No he hasn't propositioned you or said anything wrong. But he's leaving you all the clues that he's got a crush on you. At his age though...I wouldn't call it a crush. He knows what he is doing, a fine game of cat and mouse. You think you're trying to imagine something that isn't there. If I had a male teacher treating me that way when I was your age, I would have felt warning bells going off in my head and stopped approaching him. Because you continuously seek him out for alone time to chat, you are also showing him as plain as it could be that you are attracted to him as well. Its as plain as it would be if you were crushing on a hot guy in your grade and doing the same thing with him. It's a good thing he's leaving soon. My advice would be to not add him on facebook. I am betting your parents and friends are not aware of this. If your parents know and other teachers know and your friends all know and still think what he's doing is ok, then why did you write us?
I think deep down your gut is telling you no matter how much you like him as a person that right now is not the right time to be close to him. Keep his name written down somewhere and when you turn of legal age, then find him on facebook and friend him if you haven't already found a sweetheart your own age.
I am 11 years and my brother wich is 10 years keep on fighting we've been fighting for 8 years please help me!
You started fighting approximately at ages 2 and 3?
Could be sibling rivalry. What is your home like? Is it a peaceful place, relaxing, parents easy going and laidback and encouraging? Or is it the opposite?
Let the parents know that you want to work on not fighting so much with your brother and ask for their suggestions. It is hard for there to be a fight if one of the people chooses to not yell or react to what the other is doing. This is a good thing to learn because you will find even adults do this. I know from someone i interacted with who had mental illness and tried to pick on me and make me angry. I would walk away and not say a word. However if you are chased from room to room by brother trying to still get you to react, its time to call in mom and dad and calmly tell them what is going on. This is a part of what growing up and maturing is all about. Best to try and learn it now, hard as it might be. Some people are adults and they still have not learned.
At the moment I've had quite a lot on in my life and have been struggling to motivate myself - I'm constantly feeling really low. I now know that I had glandular fever a few months back and that I may just be quite tired from that but I think it's more than that.
I feel so crap about everything I do and feel like giving up. I never have enough energy to go out, going to school is literally the only time I go out of the house. At school I just sit on my own and stare into the distance... I've tried talking to teachers but I don't really know what to say. My head is so overcrowded with stuff and I can't think clearly about anything.
I don't know what to do.
You sound depressed to me. If you are not depressed, you're awfully close. It might be a good idea to talk to your Dr.
There are a few things you can try but they're no replacement for professional help.
Sounds like there's no joy in life. Time to help your inner child escape the prison she is in. Do something silly or fun, maybe totally out of character or way different from your current schedule. Laughter is a great booster of those neuro transmitters in our brain that keep us from becoming weary and depressed. Another way to get your low vibrational levels up is movement, like dancing, jogging, or something silly like skipping like a kid. I am grandma age and tried skipping the other day, and could not do it without having a goofy smile on my face or giggling. Also therapeutic is music and singing. Not all music will help but there will be certain songs you've listened to in the past that make your spirit inside feel lighter like a helium balloon that wants to just float out of your chest. Hugs, good long bear hugs are needed on a daily basis to be in good emotional health. Sounds like you dont get any not even once a week and the minimum needed according to statistics is 8 per day. No one gets that so we have to boost our vibrational levels and neurotransmitters in the other ways i have mentioned.
Try also taking time to do some Yoga breathing. It can help to clear your mind along with meditation. Look it up on line or find a meetup group in your area that focuses on yoga, health and emotional wellness. Meetups .com has so many meet ups. They are usually free or a minimal charge and held at coffee houses to library meeting rooms. Find one that sounds like a positive up beat group. Some groups offer energy healing for each other and visitors. You need to be proactive and do these things even tho at first you really dont feel like it or have the energy.
My prayers are with you dear.
This guy I like. Everything about him is perfect everyone I've asked had nothing bad to say about him. His closest friends and people who see him and talk to him everyday. When I think about him or get a text from him I have the corniest biggest smile. My stomach starts fluttering. And hurting really bad I start feeling nausious. I've got like no eating appetite. I don't underatand why he makes me feel like this. I get really excited out of no where and ill just start feeling really sick. Can someine explain why this is happening?
Its normal for you to feel this way. Your body reacts to seeing him, hearing his name or his voice and its all because you are really into him.
Thing is, does he know that you are interested in him like this. Sounds like you're friends if he texts you. Sometimes the period of time before the mutual attraction is shared and acknowledged and you start dating can be intense to the point of not having an appetite. Everything should become less intense and your body calm down once you get comfortable with him. This does not diminish any romantic feelings...just the extremes of nauseousness or no appetite.
My baby's momma acts really weird lately she gets annoyed by anything she yells at me fights with me and I love her a lot I'm still trying because she's pregnant I'm really trying for my future family but I wanna kill myself most of the time
I am so sorry to hear that things are not going well in her pregnancy causing you to be miserable.
I can't say that it will be over with end of pregnancy so you both need to talk to your doctor.
It's common to have mood swings during pregnancy, because of hormonal changes that affect her levels of neurotransmitters in the brain and the broad range of feelings you may have about becoming a parent. Everyone responds differently to these changes. Some moms-to-be experience heightened emotions, both good and bad; others feel more depressed or anxious. Statistics show that most find moodiness flaring up at around 6 to 10 weeks, easing up in the second trimester, and then reappearing towards end of the pregnancy.
However there are women that fare pretty well during pregnancy but are hard hit by post partum depression (after giving birth).
It is important that we get you back to feeling mentally and emotionally healthy, strong and not depressed also. Both of you in that condition is not going to be good for baby now or after its born. Babys can pick up the mood in utero from mom and be born an anxious unconsolable child.
Time to talk to her Dr. and see what they can suggest. During pregnancy Drs are not much into giving out meds for fear of harming baby but you never know, there could be something on the market now that helps. Plus, they may suggest some counseling. Please get the professional advice!
i am 16/f.my boyfriend is very frank with me. he says there is nothing to be shy about when we both love each other. i know he has a point but i just can't stop getting shy. one of these days he asked me what i use to shave my genitals and i went red like a tomato. he laughed....did not mind though.i love him a lot and truly i have no problem with him. i just start getting butterflies when he gets closer with naughty chats or physically...and i am shy though i know i am very comfortable with him in every aspect . i know he will respect my feelings but still i am shy. and yesterday...he said he could not control so he started kissing me and stuff.....he didnot penetrate but he was touching me and licking me over there....i was moaning like hell....and twisting like anything...he had a hard time to put me in place and continue and i pleaded him to stop bcuz i was feeling shy but he continued..and suddenly i felt this urge to pee.....but he still continued and....i started feeling something i can't explain...like someone is tickling me and i want it to get over but i don't want it to stop .... finally he pinned me down with his weight n made me helpless n continued doing his stuff till i ....started trembling...he stopped and asked me to let go but i didn't, he said he wanted to see it but i didn't....finally he gave up. is this shyness normal?..was the moaning and twisting and asking him to stop normal?...was the urge to pee and trembling normal?....if i really let go infront of him...will he feel good or..will nothing come out other than urine?...plz help. he is really sad and i am too.
Girl, you were on the verge of a G-spot orgasm. The gspot is right next to the urethra of your bladder. Manipulating the gspot will give an urge to pee followed by a powerful orgasm and sometimes a woman ejaculates a gush or a little trickle but not necessarily, If you are afraid of it possibly being pee- which is sterile so its not a big deal, then empty your bladder before trying it next time.
Even if you both are not doing penetration yet, all this playing around and maybe sometimes you or him touching his penis and then yourself next, the precum has sperm which can be transferred by hands so get on some contraception right away. Look up all the kinds online first and read about what the side effects are...you may be ok with it or if hormonal ones aren't the way you want to go get the Copper IUD. Planned Parenthood can help with that too.
I think it's time you and he together do some learning about things like sexuality, relationships and learn from someone who is your peer, well educated, funny short video lessons and has her own sex positive youtube channel. Her name is Laci Green. I will post the link for the one on Gspot. I highly recommend her. Very knowledgeable stuff. Watch em all and subscribe to her channel.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yz68K2qAlkE
watch the one on squirting after.
Watching Laci will give you a positive view of your sexuality so you will likely lose that shyness.
I have a boyfriend we have been together about a 9 months and he's the first boyfriend that I have felt secure and comfortable with I'm 16 coming 17 and really in love with this boy and we want to take it to the next step but I'm not sure that I'm ready to loose my virginity what shall I do? Shall I wait?
Just because you feel secure and comfortable around him, that is not a clue to someone being ready to go the next step.
If you aren't sure, its not the right time, OR not the right person. If the secure/comfortable feeling is same as you feel with your bestie girlfriend, that's good. But you aren't sexually attracted to her. The same can happen with a guy too. Let some time go by. Either you will discover you have grown into wanting to have sex with him. But don't be alarmed if it doesn't happen.
I came into Walgreens to take my assessment test on Saturday and the hiring manager that was there told me to give him a call back on Wednesday around the same time I came in. Today I called into Walgreens and asked the speak to him but he wasn't in yet so the lady who was given the phone who was a store manager took my name and phone number down and she asked what I was calling for and I didn't understand her question, so I said I don't know Quincy told me to give him a call after I took the assessment test, and she asked me again what I was calling for...so I said the same ting, and she caught an attitude with me and she said that Quincy isn't here right now, I'm the store manager! And I'm not sure but I think she hung up on me. What was I suppose to tell her? I was really confused that she asked that question because before we said anything I greeted her and told her the reason why I was calling.
There could be a zillion reasons why the mgr acted the way she did and none of them are your problem.
LEts say when you hesitated just a bit and next said I don't know... that's all she zero'd in on even tho you finally explained that he asked you to call him.
Maybe she is at her wits end with rebellious teen kids of her own and that set her off because your voice reminded her of her kids. Who knows.
You can try a call again and ask what hours Quincy is in today, then go in person.
Good luck!
f/15 my friend who is 17 goes tanning at this place and when I went they said I could only do it if my mom came in to sign for me and show ID because you have to be 17 without parental consent. my friend would take me whenever we wanted to go. but I just need my mom to come in and sign for me the first time. I know my older sister when she was about my age started going into tanning beds at this place actually. and my mom let her do it. but the only this is that my mom would probably say something about me getting burned or something because I am light skinned but when I lay outside in the sun I tan fine but It takes a long time to even get a little bit of a tan so that's why I want to go to the tanning salon. that's the only thing I could think of her saying no to me going because of my skin color and how you can get skin cancer but its not fair because my sister went but then again she is darker than me but still. any advice?
You can look up on line the side effects to tanning beds. one piece of info from online article:
The really bad news is that tanning beds emit more UV radiation than the sun. So the UV rays are more damaging to the body in a shorter span of time
Plus it mentions skin cancer too. Here's one of the articles if you care to read.
Whether your mom's decision is based on this knowledge or not, you need to know so you can make the best decision for yourself once you turn 17.
Your mom may have had 2nd thoughts since allowing your sister to go tanning. I know it doesnt sound fair to you but mom has the option to change her view on anything regarding whats best for her children. I laid out in the sun alot at your age. Now that I am older the sun damage shows up delayed. Didnt show until I was in my mid thirtes on. Darker brown splotches on my face and forearms. And thats just from the sun. With tanning beds, I likely would have got cancer too. You may be upset cus you want to look pretty. Well, when you hit 35 and older, you'll wish you left your skin alone because you'll have to wear tons of makeup the rest of your life to make your skin look even in tone or go for expensive dermabrasion treatments which may or may not help. Or like me, just live with it, splotch skin.
I don't know what to do anymore... I have been with the same person for over a year. They have a 3 year old little boy that I love and we are happy a good amount of the time. However there are a few issues.
They don't have a babysitter so I always get stuck babysitting. It has turned into an expectation and they rarely ask until they are leaving. We talk about this all the time but they never follow through even though all I ask is that they get my okay to babysit before setting and making plans. They also are usually 30-60 minutes past the time they said they would be back.
I do all the cooking and dishes, I normally do not mind but, they have a roommate who sits around and never cleans up after themselves. Went out for dinner to get away from dishes and I come back to a messy ass kitchen and smoke filled house.
This roommate also treats me like a maid. (Conplains when I don't cook, leaves messes and then bitches when it is still there later) I have constantly asked my significant other to speak with them but they don't.
And a big one. I never get to do things just us two because they find the need to invite the roommate and 2-4 other friends. It is embarrassing showing up to a friend's house with a car full of people who didn't even ask if they could come. How do I tell my significant other that I don't like this? It is a constant thing and it is driving me to the edge. I need advice desperately.
Anything helps.
Girl, I believe your significant other does not sound very significant as a person and having other roommates that Use you becausenthats not a good situation either.
Have you asked yourself why you are still there? Is it because you need a place to live? Start looking for a different living situation. Is it because you dont think another guy is going to be interested in you or that you can't find someone better?
Being driven to the edge of your sanity sounds like something you do not like. So the answer is simple, don't allow it in your life. But I can't make them change you say. Thats exactly right! Because you can't make them change, you must be the one to leave. Maybe this saying will help you in life, "If you're not having fun, you're doing it wrong." Being someones maid is not fun, its a drag. So the way you are living your life right now according to that saying would be 'wrong'.
Change is scary, it's not always easy and can be as painful at first as your current situation but if you truly are looking for something better, eventually you will reap the rewards.
Hi, I am a 14 year old girl. I think I'm very smart when I try and apparently everyone else that I know of thinks I'm very smart. I'm going to be a freshman next year and I wanna make all A's in high school, I know it will be hard but I think I can do it. Also some of the kids in my grade make it look so easy, how can I do that?
You probably already know which are your strongest subjects and which are your weaker ones. For those, I would look for study partners in class who are better at that subject and see if you can do a trade and help them study for a subject they aren't as strong in. Never be afraid to ask for help. Ask the teachers after class if you didnt during class for explanation on things you're not clear on. If you get less than an A, ask if its a test that can be retaken. Or ask if there is extra credit you can do to bump up your grade. Keep things in balance. You want your high school years to have lots of good memories so you'll also want it to be fun.
If you're not having fun, you're not doing it right!
Good luck dear.
i mean i was sexually abused as a child but i don't remember any of it, could that be a factor?
Yes that definately could be a factor. thankfully our conscious minds don't always recall the really traumatic things that happen to us. But it gets buried in our subconscious minds. I can not predict as no one can whether it will ever surface in a more pronounced way like crazy dreams, nightmares or actual recollections, fear, anxiety around men.
Love your yourself by not forcing yourself to be someone or something you are not comfortable with.
Always promise your subconscious, which is like your inner child that you will protect her and not put her in any dangerous situation with a guy. You will know when your subconscious is uncomfortable because this is also where all our feelings and emotions come from. Good luck in life sweetie
Ok so i am a 16 year old girl and i think that I’m either bisexual or gay. Because i am not emotionally attracted to men, i feel like i can't trust them and i don't know why, I’ve never been hurt by them. I’ll look at a guy, say he’s hot but that’s it I feel like I can’t ever emotionally connect with them. As with women I’m both emotionally and physically attracted to them. But I can see myself with both. I’ve never really told anyone of how I feel because I am so confused and scared that if people knew they’d hate me. please help!
Honey thats perfectly normal. Many have heard of gay people but not as many have heard or learned about bi sexual people. there are a way greater number of bisexual females than there are bi men.
It is for the reasons you already mentioned, they feel like they can't trust men. It could come simply from how you've observed men in your life treating their wives, or perhaps past life experiences if you believe in that thing.
Some women have been hurt by men physically or emotionally in some way and turn to women because women don't have the physical strength to overpower and force them so they are safer. In a survey i read, that almost all of bi sexual women had been hurt or raped in their past.
In my life time, I have been to clubs where bi sexual women hang out with their husbands. In talking to them, I learned that he is the one and only man they learned to trust but they still dont trust other men. And they have fun dancing with and kissing other women and probably exchange numbers to meet with some of the women later for sex. In our male dominant society there are not going to be many men who fit your need. But if you want to find a guy, you will need patience, and enjoy females for now.
But here's a suggestion. I am married to a man who is i am guessing the type of guy you might connect to. Like a gay guy...he has all those characteristics of loving jewelry or anything beautiful that catches his creative artistic eye, he is very sensitive to emotions, supportive and caring and all the good stuff of a bestie girlfriend, just like a gay guy...except for one thing, he does not have the body mannerisms of a gay guy and his sex drive is wired for women only.
That is the kind of husbands these bi women had, the kind I have. I don't believe you are gay because you are able to look at a guy and see that he is hot.
At your age, guys are still learning and changing. I dont know how easy or hard it might be to find the type of guy i mentioned. If you're up to it, just start practicing trying to spot the guy who seems to be a little gay but you can't tell for sure and he does not hang out with a gay male. Talk to him and get to know more about him. Befriend, find out what kinds of things does he like, how does he act.
im 13/f. my friend is 13/m and he likes me and i really dont like him like that back but i dont know how to tell him. he hangs out with me more than he does his girlfriend and it makes her upset. his girlfriend is my bestie and i dont want to make her mad either. if you guys have been in a situation like this and nave advice for me please tell me PLEASE :) PLEASE.
Wow if its your best friend, I'd have a talk with her asap tell her that you only feel like friends with the guy and that recently he started showing interest in you like romantic and dating. If you're too chicken to tell him, at least tell your best girlfriend. Since she is the one he is ignoring without any explanation in choice of chasing you, it's high time the two of you girls go together to approach him and level with him. Be nice and dont call names. Teens don;t have much experience yet in relationships. Girls sometimes come with a built in sense of what is ok or not but guys have a harder time. So you both may have to teach him.
So get him to agree to meet both of you at same time for a private chat. You tell him you aren't interested in him that way, and she can tell him she IS interested in him that way. Then find out if he is interested in either of you or both of you. On rare occasions there are teens who have been comfortable with a MMF relationship or a FFM relationship but i find it unlikely at your age, maybe 16 and older. IF he is no longer interested in your bestie, teach him how to be polite about communicating that and not just walk away without saying a thing. There is nothing she can do to change his mind. At your age, most relationships average about 5 month in length according to statistics. Your teen lives are going to be a learning process of what you like in the opposite sex beyond just looks. So you will likely over your teen years date many different guys and when you find something you dont like, dont stay with the guy but move on to learn more elsewhere.
Hope this helps you dear. Talk to your bestie!
hey! well I originally asked this question
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=612716
then I posted this one..
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=612735
well, last night was amazing, we went to a couple different rivers before just chilling at a school. we danced a lot, and I swear he pulled off a scene from the notebook, I mean the dancing and the humming to make a song and everything. he pushed me on the swings, and made fun of my hugs. we were pushing eachother back and fourth and he pushed me against a fence, and held my hands above my head, but he never kissed me, I want to say I know he likes me, but its hard cause im usually blind to subtle clues. or even extravagant ones to be completely fair. what should I do? should I just let nature take its course, and take the days as they come, or should I say something or make a move or something. I need advice, please.
Sounds like a wonderful guy. He finds something in you that he is attracted to. It is a good thing that he wants you to work on eye contact. The eyes are the window to our soul. Sometimes you can just see, feel, sense things about a person by looking into their eyes. For you to look away and not allow someone to look into your eyes may mean you struggle with being afraid of people seeing what is inside you, a fear of be intimate with another to the point that by one look at your face, they know what you are feeling or about to say. It could be hinged on having a low self image. Do you feel too plain or uninteresting inside? Thats so far from the truth because he is attracted to you.
Is he attracted to you only because he thinks you are an easy target to get the sex he wants? No I don;t think so. When he had you backed up against a fence and held your hands up, he did not kiss you or force you in any way. He is being a gentleman. It is so rare to find a man who shows you in this way that he is very attracted to you but leaves it up to you to make the first move when you are comfortable and ready. At the fence, he was leaving it to you to move to kiss him or ask him to kiss you. If I were you, I would get a self help book on boosting your self confidence and ask him to help you with the exercises in there and of course with the eye contact. Be willing to make the little steps but only if you really like him and want him to be in your life. Thank him for being willing to work this out with you and give him a kiss and tell him thats for him seeing something in you and not giving up on you. Enjoy your man honey, I think you have a keeper just like i have.
Question::
I am a girl 38 years old and my best friend is 27 years old she is a girl too.She kissed me on the lips passionately six years ago so i told her not to do it that time so she didnt do that ever again to me.Now we are still best friends but she has two kids and is married.Shes getting marriage problems at the moment and we went clubbing last saturday night, i think i still have the same feelings for her but dont know if she still loves me the same back.But a couple of days ago she was holding my hand in the stree,hugging me on the bus,hugging me in the nightclub but then she told me that she wasnt a lesbian when i was playing with her at the nightclub on last saturday night.What should I do?We have been best friends for 13 years?
You ask what you should do...you mean a decision to continue to remain friends or not? I do not see a problem. 6 yrs ago she was 21 and at that age possibly still in the mode of exploring and defining her sexuality. A few dont do it until they are much older and braver to do the exploring.
You did not mention your situation whether married or not, have a current boyfriend, lack of intimacy and sex with a man. You only mentioned your friends situation. So that makes it harder so i will try to cover all possiblities and make some guesses.
Usually a person knows whether they are lesbian or not. Same goes for the bi sexual female as far as how she feels about another woman. It's more than admiring the looks of a woman and finding her pretty, its actually that drive and desire to want to have sex with a particular female. And in the act finding a great fulfillment from being with a female.
Some are wired that way from birth. Others are not but still comfortable being les or bi. WHY? A survey of bi women I came across showed that an overwhelming percentage had been raped, assaulted, or abused by a boyfriend or husband in their past. As a self protection thing, their mind and psyche wouldn't allow them to get close to a man ever again except for the one they trusted that they married. There are women also who are lesbian not because they are wired that way but because they had same experiences and women are just safer to be with in a relationship. They can get the tender nurturing care a man didnt give or couldn't give.
And that brings me to the last type of woman. The last is a heterosexual woman for sure, she likes and relates to men sexually. However, over time in a marriage that used to have sexual intimacy it has dwindled to almost nothing. She is compelled to stay until her children are grown and can take care of themselves. So what does she do in the meanwhile? Most these women do not make a conscious thought or decision to seek out another woman but it just happens. They both have a lack of sexual intimacy with a man, both females are not bi sexual or lesbian but both after talking about their lives, want to be there for each other because they are good friends and help support each other through the rough times which include sexual intimacy. My guess is that not only is she going through a rough time in that area but you are too.
So have a heart to heart chat with her. If you need some kind of intimate love from each other, decide to what level or degree you're both comfortable with. All humans need hugs and love on a daily basis to keep the naturally occuring hormones that prevent depression from occuring from falling too low. This is a very important need. If all you decide to do is kiss and cuddle and hug and hold hands...thats good enough to take care of your emotional health. If you feel the need to go further, nothing wrong with that. The future could find both of you with new men in your life who are Mr. perfect and you both no longer have the need to be so intimately close and just switch back to being the non sexual girlfriends you were before.