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I'm not sure that I'm ready to loose my virginity... shall i wait?
I have a boyfriend we have been together about a 9 months and he's the first boyfriend that I have felt secure and comfortable with I'm 16 coming 17 and really in love with this boy and we want to take it to the next step but I'm not sure that I'm ready to loose my virginity what shall I do? Shall I wait?
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Virginity?
Now is the time to start talking with him about sex.
Too many teens think that at some point you just decide yourself, they decide, then you have sex. This isn't and shouldn't be a pair of individual decisions. You're old enough that the two of you being intimate should be an open topic of discussion between the two of you. You tell him what you want and what you need, he tells you what he wants and what he needs.
Virginity is overrated. It's pretty much irrelevant, and unless you have sex you really, really regret you will not give a shit about not being a virgin ten minutes after you have sex.
What is not overrated is being in a stable relationship where you feel secure and comfortable with the person you first sleep with, because you will remember the experience for the rest of your life.
The question you should be asking yourself is if you would regret sleeping with him no matter the outcome. Let's assume the relationship is stable and sleeping with him would be fine in the short term. That he'd be a perfectly respectful gentleman about it and you'd functionally enjoy the way he treats you in bed.
Would you be upset that you had sex, even though you didn't regret him being your first? If so, wait. Would you have a problem with the fact that at 16 this guy is more than likely not the last man you will date or sleep with? If so, wait.
If you want to discuss this in a little more detail drop me a private question. Give me detail. Why do you want to take the next step? What is the next step to you? Not just the physical act of sex, what are the emotions that are going with it? Why do you feel you aren't ready to lose your virginity? Why did you feel the need to ask others if you should wait?
It sounds to me as if you're more sure that you want to have sex with him than you are sure that you want to have sex at all, if that makes sense. Like you want him to be your first no questions asked but you're not sure if you're ready to have your first time, like, tomorrow. Is that about right?
If so, talk to him and think about it yourself. At some point it won't be a question anymore.
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Not sure? Wait it out, talk to him about it. And remember we screw things up when we're not sure of it. So, yeah speak to him abt it, get comfortable and hopefully you'll have a speacial time when you're ready :)
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You're not ready
If you were, You wouldn't be debating.
If you feel in anyway you are not ready, Then you should wait. Wait until you are 100% sure and ready. Doing things based on the fact that you been with someone for awhile isn't the right reason.
Yes, You also have my respect for thinking things through also. High Five! ^
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Just because you feel secure and comfortable around him, that is not a clue to someone being ready to go the next step.
If you aren't sure, its not the right time, OR not the right person. If the secure/comfortable feeling is same as you feel with your bestie girlfriend, that's good. But you aren't sexually attracted to her. The same can happen with a guy too. Let some time go by. Either you will discover you have grown into wanting to have sex with him. But don't be alarmed if it doesn't happen.
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I love how you're actually considering waiting, a lot of girls on the site are normally looking for excuses to do it when they're not ready.
If you're not ready, just wait.
I mean it's not that enjoyable until you fully are ready. You'll be way more happier with it then.
I'm sure you have a good boyfriend who will respect how you feel about it. If he doesn't, then he's not the right guy for you.
Anyways, my advice is to wait until you are ready and then once you know you are, then start looking into birth control because you don't want to end up pregnant this early in life. And always use condoms.
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I found the following website, found at bottom of this page) while answering a very similar question for another young lady. I believe you should review this website before making any decision about having sex, starting with “Am I ready?”
On the subject of are you ready: all I will say is sexual intercourse is a beautiful thing between two loving responsible people. At your age sex for you as a woman is different than for the boy. You are more emotionally mature than your partner is at the same age by about 2 years. Sex for a woman must always have a loving relationship, meaning women usually do not hop in and out of bed. Where for a boy of the same age sex is more of a conquest, away to satisfy raging hormones.
The odds are against you marring the boy you give your virginity to, so be selective as to who you chose to be your first. Make sure you find someplace you can have your first sexual experience that is safe, comfortable, relaxing and that you will be undisturbed. You should be on birth control for at least 30 days and always use a condom.
As someone who is old enough to be your grandparent and I believe at 16 you are s little young to be engaging in sexual intercourse. I am sure your parents have already given you this advice and it is good advice. What I will say is there are ways of satisfying the sexual urge without having intercourse. There is masturbation, mutual masturbation, which is general apart of foreplay, BJ’s and HJ’s. These forms of sex should be adequate for now to satisfy both you and your boyfriend without running the possibility of an unwanted pregnancy.
Remember no birth control is 100% effective. End of lecture.
Before you make your decision review the website I have included below:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location).
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If theres any doubt in your mind then you should wait. Once its gone, its gone and that's final. I personally think people should wait at least a year before doing anything sexual.
The thing is, whilst you may think others around you are at it with their boyfriends chances are they're not.
You have to be fully prepared, because its quite a commitment not just sexually but emotionally, something that you have to prepare yourself for.
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