I work as a Customer Laison Complaints Case Officer at a major insurance company, where I have worked for 3 years. I left school when I was 17, as I had some very bad experiences at school and wanted to see what the real world had to offer.
I now live with my boyfriend of 3 years and spend my spare time reading, writing, socialising with friends or just watching some TV.
Times are still hard and I'm trying to cope with various health problems on a daily basis but I'm working my way through things and really want to stop it from getting me down.
I dream of some day going to America and watching a real baseball game (we don't have that at all in the UK) and perhaps finding a job I find creatively fulfilling. Until then, I'm happy trying to be me and making the best of what I have.
Website: My Space
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset, UK
Occupation: Customer Liaison Case Officer
Age: 21
MSN: hottchickie@hotmail.com
Member Since: January 28, 2006
Answers: 1016
Last Update: March 5, 2009
Visitors: 65023
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I have been going out with this guy for almost a year. And it is pretty serious. I dont get to see him much so it makes it hard for me to say im "with someone" I have cheated on him a lot in the past couple months. I have only told him once and that was almost a year ago. I love him to death and I dont want to hurt him. He is the kinda guy that you wanna be with. If anybody has any advice on how not to cheat on someone. or to tell him please let me know. thanks
dude. (link)
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I don't want to sound mean to you here, but are you sure you really love him? My only thought here is that if you truly did love him, the thought of hurting him is exactly what would prevent you from cheating on him in the first place.
If you don't want to cheat on him then perhaps you need to consider not being with him at all because (and maybe I have this wrong) it seems you might not be totally committed to your relationship and if this is the case, it might be better if you weren't in one right now. Then you wouldn't need to worry about whether or not you were cheating on him and you would be free to live the single life that part of you at least seems to be crying out for.
Whatever you do decide to do, you need to tell him that you have been cheating on him because he has a right to know the truth.
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ok well... i have liked this boy for almost 3 years. and now me and him go out and it didnt take us long to kiss b.c we have kissed b4 and stuff.. but now we are to the point.. that he touches my boob and i like grope his penis. and like we talked about it he doesnt think we are going to fast and nor do i. we have been going out for almost 2 months... and i know! we wont go any farther.
so.. i dont know.. do you think we are going to fast.
and we touch ONLY outside of clothes.
well have like rules we made up..
btw im 14 and hes 14
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Normally, I would say yes quite readily because I think that at 14 you should be retaining as much of your innocence as possible and anything sexual pretty much takes away that innocence.
However, as you have been together for 3 years, I have to admit, I think it's acceptable, as long as you make sure it doesn't get to full sex until you are at least 16. It's good that you feel comfortable enough with each other to talk about it and to create rules about it without fear of embarrassment or same.
So under the circumstances, I would say that your relationship is something unique and no, I don't think you're going too fast. Just be careful with knowing when to stop because it's all too easy to get carried away!
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ok, i have a stye on my eye, and it hurts really badly. I can't blink without feeling pain. What can I do to make it go away? What are the causes of styes? Also, I have an eye doctor appointment tomorrow (4/24). Is the stye going to affect it? Will my doctor still be able to do all the tests he needs to do (its just a regular check up).
13/f if that helps.
♥ (link)
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Styes are usually something as simple as an ingrown eyelash but they REALLY hurt!
It shouldn't affect your opticians appointment too much, as long as you explain to them that it hurts when you blink. As far as I know, there's no real treatment for styes and you usually have to let them disappear in their own time. However, your optician might be able to shed a little more light on this and he may have a way to treat it so let him know what's wrong and see what he says.
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My best friend is a guy. We have no feelings for eachother & we're really close. The guy I'm dating, gets extremely jealous. He says that we secretly like eachother and it's hard for him to accept me being best friends with another guy. Also, they absolutely hate eachother. How do I work this out? I can't just sit them both down and talk, that will in no way workout. Is there a way I can atleast make them tolerate eachother for my sake? (link)
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Men can be REALLY difficult to sort out when they get like this and sometimes you have to accept there's nothing you can do about it and you have a very hard decision to make.
You can do one of two things here. You can try talking to them independently, if you haven't done so already, and explain to each of them that you just cannot keep being put in the middle of their hatred for each other so either they have to learn to get on with each other or you will have to re-think your friendship/relationship with them.
If they still can't be around each other without fisticuffs (or perhaps they just slag each other off to you) then you need to decide which of them is more precious to you. Would you rather keep your best friend or your boyfriend? I know it's a terrible thing to say and I hate suggesting it but if your boyfriend cannot accept this friend in your life and, more importantly, can't find it in himself to trust you and trust your feelings then perhaps you need to consider letting him go. After all, can the relationship really go anywhere if he can't bear you to be friends with other guys? You have a right to be friends with whomever you wish and if he can't see this, as much as I hate to say it, perhaps you are better off without him.
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heyy! soo i was wondering which would kill my hair less..like not giving it more split ends and making it unhealthy?! putting gel in it..as in scrunching it lol or straightening it? because i either have to do one of those each day and im TRYING to keep my hair as healthy as possible..because it just doesnt seem to grow and i am tryin to get it long! well thanks :]
i will rate anyone who answers 5!
(link)
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As far as I know, the only damage that might be caused to your hair through gel would be possible slight chemical damage. However, any damage would, I imagine, be very light and I don't think this would be much of an issue.
Straightening on the other hand, is a lot more damaging. It looks REALLY nice afterwards but straightening your hair on even a semi-regular basis can cause terrible damage over an extended period of time.
For example, I straightened my hair twice a week ever week for 2 and a half years. I had to stop straightening it in October last year because my hair was actually getting shorter where the ends were so badly damaged!! I still can't straighten my hair now because the ends are recovering. It's getting better but it will be a year or two before I can do anything proper with my hair again.
The best things you can do with your hair if you want to style it without a lot of damage are moussing, gelling and perhaps putting it in some rollers or a similar natural curling tool and leaving it to dry naturally. You can blow dry your hair if you must but do so on a low or medium setting. Blow dry it hot for a few minutes to stop it from being soaking wet but as soon as it gets to a damp stage, switch to a low setting.
Also, NEVER towel dry your hair, as this helps to damage the hair.
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Alright so me and my best guy friend, we are close. Close as in he tells me mostly everything. He's such a cool guy and I love him to death. [I'm not sure if I have feelings for him, I'm sure I don't] Well, people at school always tell me that he likes me, but I usually don't believe it. But lately he has been acting strange around me. Yesterday night we had a party thing, and I asked him if he wanted to dance[It wasn't even a slow song, and I wasn't trying to make a move or anything.] And he goes, and I quote, "No. I mean do you know how akward that would be later? I mean we are in the same math class." Yes we are in the same math class, and that seems to be the number one problem. If I ever ask him something in a friendly way [Like do you wanna dance?] he always uses the excuse that we are in the same math class as a way not to do it. But he always dances with my other friends and has a good time. But refuses me. I don't understand what's going on with him. Does he have feeligns for me and is trying to hide them? Or does he just not like me at all? (link)
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Unfortunately, it's rather difficult to tell for sure. It could be that he does have feelings for you and is trying to hide it. On the other hand, it could be that your friends or his friends have been telling him that you like him and he's worried it might affect the friendship so is trying to deflect what he sees as moves on him. While you see asking him to dance as being a friendly thing, if he thinks you like him, he might think it's your way of trying to hit on him.
To be honest, there's only one thing you can do to clear this up and that's talk to him. It doesn't have to be anything heavy. Just sit him down and say that your friends have been saying to you that he likes you and you just need to know if it's true or not. If it isn't true then you can just continue to be friends. If it is true then at least it is out in the open and you can decide what you want to do about it from there on.
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Yet, I still find myself caring.
I used to go to language school early last year with this guy I met there and we spoke a bit then I left and we spoke sometimes on MSN. Well tonight we were talking and he basically joked "What's a hot sexy girl like you doing alone" and I asked if he really meant that, and he said then I wasn't hot and sexy at all, and I would be if I wore a bit more makeup. I felt very upset by this comment and got mad at him and called him a whole lot of names, and said I was only nice to him because I felt sorry for him, blah blah blah. I didn't mean a word I said.
Well he just emailed me, not apologizing or anything, but saying he was upset by what I said, and that its true i wasn't the most attractive girl there, everyone else was prettier but he doesn't try and sugarcoat things. Then he went on to say he feels horrible he wasted effort and breath on me when i was only being nice to him because i felt sorry. He said this cut him pretty badly because he thought we could've been friends.
Should I apologize to him? I have absolutely zero interest in him, but I feel guilty now. He did hurt me pretty badly though. I don't take comments about my appearance too well. Then again two wrongs don't make a right. I did insult him pretty badly. So what do I do? Sorry this is so long. (link)
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You were kind of both in the wrong here really, I'm afraid to say.
Although what he was saying was, as far as he was concerned, the truth, you just don't say things like that to someone. Not just because it can hurt someone's feelings but it's also pretty bad manners and I think that under the circumstances, you had ever right to be upset. For one thing, for someone to say that you might be prettier if you wore more make up implies that you can only be attractive with cosmetic help!
However, reacting the way you did probably didn't help the situation and while I completely understand your reaction, it wasn't reasonable to name call and say that you were only friends with him because you felt sorry for him. I appreciate that he hurt you and automatic reaction when someone does that is to make them feel just as bad, it's always the worst thing to do.
The best thing you could probably do now, mostly for peace of mind, is to send him an e-mail explaining why you reacted the way you did. Point out that what he probably saw as harmless and truthful comments hurt your feelings a lot and although you were right to be hurt under the circumstances, you should not have said the things to him that you did. Also make sure you say you weren't friends with him just because you felt sorry for him but that you said it so that he would feel hurt the way you did. Tell him that there was no real excuse for saying the things you did and that you're sorry you hurt his feelings and you hope he can appreciate why you acted the way you did.
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what are some signs of alcohol poisoning? and what does it mean when you throw up blood? (link)
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Usually people only throw up blood after a LONG time of extensive binge drinking. Alcoholics are most likely to suffer from this sort of symptom. It can be a sign of alcohol poisoning but it's unlikely.
If you are trhowing up blood, you should see a doctor about it, as it could indicate something along the lines of a stomach ulcer, unless you have been ill otherwise. If you have had a stomach bug, this can cause it too but to be on the safe side, you should see your doctor.
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Me and my boyfriend have sex. But whenever we do, he can only last like 2-5 mins. He has no idea why. Before with his ex he said he used to be able to last like 20 mins+. Is there anything that he or I can do to make him last longer? (link)
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Normally this is a good indication for the girl involved! If he can't lost long inside you then you must feel pretty good to him!!
Unfortunately, it sounds as though he enjoys it so much you don't get a chance to! When you're having sex, get him to stop when he thinks he's close. This might be quite difficult for him to do at first but with practise it should get easier to stop and eventually he shouldn't need to stop for greater lengths of time. Please bear in mind that this usually does work but it DOES take time and you will have to be patient with him in the meantime.
The only other things I can think to suggest are that he either tries thinking about something else while you're having sex or he tries following tantric sex!
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Okay I have three questions.
1) Could discharge be a sign of pregnacy?
2) Is there anyway I can take a test befor my missed period? Like if I waited at least 3 weeks after the guy came inside of me?
3) Can I get a Serum Beta HCG test at like a local drug store? (link)
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1) Discharge is absoloutely normal at any stage from puberty onwards so it's actually more of a sign that everything down there is working properly.
2) Most pregnancy tests these days will be accurate from (in some cases) as early as four days before your period is due so you don't need to wait too long.
Unfortunately, I have never actually heard of Serum Beta HCG test so I'm afraid I can't help you there.
If you do have any concerns, do a test as soon as possibly can. If it should be negative but your period hasn't come within 3 or 4 days of it's normal start date, you should see your GP just to be on the safe side, as although pregnancy tests or mostly accurate, sometimes the results do show incorrectly.
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15/f. i like this guy, i told him i like him, but all he said was thanks for being honest. Later on i asked why he wasnt honest to me, in telling me that he didnt like me, and he said i never said that, i cant tell you an answer because i dont know how i feel yet and it takes me awhile to know about these things. what does that mean in guy terms, and btw all my friends think he likes me and hes always acting like he does, soo im confused!!! (link)
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Some guys are (sadly) like this and sometimes they just don't make their minds up. For whatever reason, some guys are extremely indecisive when it comes to girls they like. Partially possibly because they have certain other things going on or possibly because they are worried about what might happen if you got together.
When I told my now boyfriend how I felt about him, he said basically the same thing to me for two days before he finally told me he liked me!
It sounds as though he probably does like you but he's not sure if he is ready to date someone right now perhaps. Give it a week or two and if he still hasn't made his mind up, don't hang around and wait for him. Life is too short to wait for people who can't make up their mind. If he really liked you enough, he would say yes before two weeks went by.
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Were Adam and Eve the first people on Earth? If so what about the cavemen? I thought they appeared first? I am confused. I mean, are the cavemen really the "people" in Darwin's theory of evolution? And so not supported by the bible...umm.. (link)
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I personally am an atheist and am not particularly open minded about the Bible and so on because too much of it has been proven impossible through Science.
For example, hundreds of thousands of people have searched a particular mountain range, because they are certain the remains of Noahs Ark are preserved there but scientists have proven there's nothing but mountain there.
Like you say, the existence of cavemen (or homosapiens) has been scientifically proven. It's fact. The Bible tells us God put man here but if that is the case, how come that cannot be proven but we can prove man evolved from apes?
I can't understand really why so many people have faith in the Bible. It might have been the first book ever published but in my opinion, that is all it is. A book. A book written possibly by many people over a great length of time but it is either fiction or exaggerated stories.
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My guy friend puts his hand on everyone's shoulder (guys and girls) when he's talking to them or whatever, standing or walking through the hallways. What's up with that? (link)
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It's really just a social gesture a lot of people make. Some people throw their arms round their friends shoulders when they talk to them, some people sneak up behind them and tickle them, some people touch their arms and others put their hands on people's shoulders.
It's really just a sign that whoever it is is comfortable around you when they do it.
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well;;i am 13.
and have yet to start my period.
i have had discharge for 3 1/2 years now. and have hair down there. i dont no really when i will start. when will i start? please dont tell me your lucky or everyone starts at different times.:] also, how should i tell my mom i started my period. i dont want her to be all weird about it. thannks! (link)
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Unfortunately, it's absoloutely impossible to predict when you will get your period. It's a very difficult time because you don't know whether you should be carrying something around with you 'just in case' or if there's something not quite right because it's not started yet!! I remember it all too well.
If you've got discharge, it does mean that you're on your way to getting it but you have to remember that women can get their period any time up to the age of 17/18 so it could be that you have a while to go yet!!
As for your Mum, there's no real way to tell her without her getting 'weird' because all Mums do it!! The best thing you can do is when it happens, tell her calmly that you don't want a fuss about it but you got your period and you thought you should tell her. You can try that to reduce the reaction but Mums have this weird thing of being very proud of their 'litle girl becoming a woman'!! So I'm afraid that unless that works, you will have to grin and bear it!!
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if a guy older than you who you like is pressuring you to have sex or oral sex and you are not going out and are only friends is he only in it for sex? btw im 13 hes 16 (link)
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Oh yes, he is definitely only interested in the sex.
You're only 13 years old and although this is no comment on your maturity as a person, at that age you just aren't ready for sex of any kind and if he had any sort of respect for you or any other kinds of feelings, he would NEVER be putting you under this sort of pressure.
Please remember that there are a LOT of guys out there like this and as time goes on, more and more of them will appear, who will have their own subtle ways of trying to convince you into bed with them. Things like telling you they love you when you've only been going out for 2 weeks and telling you if you cares about them you'd do it.
Whatever way they spin it, any guy who has respect and real feelings for you would wait for you to be ready and would certainly not push you into sex while you are underage!!! You're barely a teenager at the moment and you should make the most of being so young while you can because it goes fast. Don't let him make you feel you should be growing up faster than you are and if he's putting this pressure on you, you need to get rid of him as a friend and fast. He's clearly NOT your friend.
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14/f I like this guy dylan and he told me he likes me. I went out with him last year and broke up with him because he wasnt a great boyfriend. He was too clingy and he wasnt allowed to use the phone and stuff so I couldnt talk to him that much out of school. Now he can talk on the phone and stuff but I dont know how hes going to be. Also, all my friends think hes too much of a best friend to be a boyfriend. He is going to ask me out when he comes over. I dont know if i should say yes or no. Dylan is like my best friend and I want him as my boyfriend but i dont know what I should do? (link)
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If you really like him then give it another go. If he was clingy, this is something that he might have learned to get over. Clingyness is just an insecure behaviour and in most cases, time and experience allows people to get over their clingy behaviour. As for the talking on the phone thing, if this was beyond his control then you can discount it completely because you know that will be different this time round.
The only thing you need to do is give serious consideration as to whether or not you want to risk your friendship with him. After all, if you really like each other but end up splitting, what will happen to the friendship you once had? If you think this can be overcome then go for it. If not, hold back until you think you could remain friends in spite of a broken relationship.
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you know, sometimes i would hold back on goin out with a person because i want my frist relationship to be perfect. i know nothing can be perfect but still you know waht i mean? is this bad? i'm i juss bein too picky. i dont feel anyone around me is right for me (link)
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I don't really think you're necessarily being picky in a negative sense. After all, there's no reason you should go out with someone just for the sake of it.
However, you need to learn that relationships can never be perfect from the get go. You already say that nothing can be perfect but you need to risk being in a less than perfect relationship because otherwise, you could really miss out! Basically, it's just that you can be too careful.
To make a relationship work well, you need to have (in most cases) experiences with other relationships first because you can't learn how to make something right unless you make a few mistakes first.
You don't have to settle for someone you don't think you will like but what you do need to do is to get the idea of a 'perfect' relationship out of your head and just focus on how you feel about the guy in question. If you really like him then take the risk. If it's not perfect, you learn from it and you move on. That way, when something really great comes along, you'll recognise it and you'll have a better idea how to keep it.
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Ok... here's the situation...
I'm a senior in high school (17 female) ...I have a crush on one of my teachers (25 male) ... hes cute and funny and all that... we're really good friends and many of my close friends seem to think he likes me back... but im not sure ... to get to the point ... my question is that would it be considered un-ethcial for us to go out after i was to graduate? (link)
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Well, it would probably be frowned upon by the people he works with but technically, there's nothing strictly unethical or illegal about it as long as he's not teaching you any longer.
Please tread carefully though because whether you are a student or a recent ex-student, he still runs the risk of getting into trouble because generally faculty members are considered less trustowrthy if they act on such feelings.
If you really want to do something, wait til you graduate but still b careful.
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My pee smells funny and I didn't eat asparagus either. It smells like alcohol? Apple juice gone bad? I don't know. (link)
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If your urine looks the same in colour and you aren't going to the loo any more or less than normal, I doubt there is anything wrong and it is more likely to be something else you ate that changed the smell. Although people always put changes in scent or urine down to asparagus, any number of foods can alter the smell and colour. For example, if you eat a LOT of beetroot, it can make your urine go pink.
So unless you notice anything else strange, there's really no need to worry as it's probably something very simple. Also remember that some people are more sensitive to the smell of urine than others. You might be able to smell it very strongly but someone else might not be able to smell it at all!
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I'm 18/F and I have literally done nothing sexually. The furthest I've ever gone is one closed-mouth kiss 4 years ago that lasted a few seconds. How pathetic is this? Why aren't guys attracted to me at all?
There's a guy I kinda like now and I really want to hook up with him but I have no clue how to go about that considering I've had zero experience. Help! (link)
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Believe me it is NOT pathetic. Why would you think it is?
The problem is, there is so much pressure on girls and boys today to have sex that they're often considered socially retarded if they are still virgins in their late teens.
If you ask my opinion, I think the more people that stay virgins longer the better. When you're older, most people have a better sense of responsibility and are more aware of STI's, STD's and the likelihood of pregnancy. Not to mention that fully fledged adults are more inclined to have sex for love and not just for the pleasure.
The fact you have had no experience is very seldom a put-off for guys, as a lot of them like to be the one who 'de-flowers' a girl. However, before doing anything, please consider carefully whether you REALLY want to do it with him or if you just want to catch up to everyone else. After all, first times are meant to be special and theirs probably weren't. Why should you ruin that chance just to catch up when you could save it until someone good and decent and special comes along? After all, there is an emotional aspect to having sex for the first time. You don't want to waste any of it on someone you don't think is worth it, just for the sake of it. So please think carefully before you do anything.
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