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BFF vs. BF
My best friend is a guy. We have no feelings for eachother & we're really close. The guy I'm dating, gets extremely jealous. He says that we secretly like eachother and it's hard for him to accept me being best friends with another guy. Also, they absolutely hate eachother. How do I work this out? I can't just sit them both down and talk, that will in no way workout. Is there a way I can atleast make them tolerate eachother for my sake?
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Men can be REALLY difficult to sort out when they get like this and sometimes you have to accept there's nothing you can do about it and you have a very hard decision to make.
You can do one of two things here. You can try talking to them independently, if you haven't done so already, and explain to each of them that you just cannot keep being put in the middle of their hatred for each other so either they have to learn to get on with each other or you will have to re-think your friendship/relationship with them.
If they still can't be around each other without fisticuffs (or perhaps they just slag each other off to you) then you need to decide which of them is more precious to you. Would you rather keep your best friend or your boyfriend? I know it's a terrible thing to say and I hate suggesting it but if your boyfriend cannot accept this friend in your life and, more importantly, can't find it in himself to trust you and trust your feelings then perhaps you need to consider letting him go. After all, can the relationship really go anywhere if he can't bear you to be friends with other guys? You have a right to be friends with whomever you wish and if he can't see this, as much as I hate to say it, perhaps you are better off without him.
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Oh man yeah this sucks.
You have the crux of it at the end there- they should bloody behave themselves FOR YOUR SAKE. Basically these are two of the closest people to you in the world supposedly and should respect and trust you. You need to say this to both of them in one way or another (and separately and calmly).
Your best friend may have genuine concerns about this guy, in which case give him a chance to express them, listen, and then ask him not to mention them again until/unless you break up with your boyfriend, or he may just be afraid he's going to lose you to your b/fs jealousy in which case you need to reassure him you're not going anywhere.
Your boyfriend jsut on a basic level needs to be able to trust you. It will be difficult for any guy at first but the basic question you need to ask is "do you trust me?". If no, i'm afraid your relationship is pretty doomed. If yes then he has to accept it's just jealousy on his part and not your problem. If "yes but I don't trust him" give him a slap for such a stupid, crap answer- it doesn't matter if he thinks your bff fancies you, if he trusts you he knows YOU would never let him act on it.
it's never fun but it can work. x
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Ok I say that you should like secretly have them both over in your house then sit them down and talk about it like say.... If you guys care about me at all you will stay here and lissen to me talk. And then tell them how you feel say they should be friends... or that.... or break it off wit the guy no guy is worth it if they make u feel bad being bffls wit that one person theres jst no need and trust me it causes ALOT of drama. i should no. If you need anymore help feel free top im me anytime @ strawberryicex1 on aim.
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Your friend sounds like he extremely understanding of you - considering you call him your best friend-
Just explain you would like for him to be more polite. Same thing should work with your boyfriend.
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