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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

I am a 20 year old female. I was diagnosed with plaque psoriasis when I was seven. Most of the psoriaisis has been dormant for about 10 years. I got sick with Strep Throat in May, and it caused a flare up of the psoriasis. However, I was stupid and waited a month to go to a dermatologist. She wants to put me on Enbrel to help it. After reading the side affects, I'm really nervous about using it. But she said that young adults have had lots of success with it. Am I just being paranoid? Or do I have a reason to be worried? Have you used Enbrel for your Psoriasis? If so, please let me know how it has helped you.

I've seen the TV ads for this product and I have just reviewed the side-effects listed on the products web site. Some of the common and less serious side-effects are similar to the actual problem the product is suppose to help. The others are quite annoying at best. The more serious side-effect do give a person reason for concern as many of them are life threatening.


This is not a decision I or anyone else can make for you. All anyone can do is offer you advice. Speaking for myself and how I handle situations like this for myself when faced with a medication such as this: I will ask the doctor what alternative medications are available. I will research the medications on-line to see what the side-effects of those medications are and consult with my pharmacist to get his/her input as to how he/she feels about the different medications.


Your pharmacist is a great resource for information on medication as they are the one dispensing. They will know how many of their patients have had serious reactions. How well the drug has worked for other patients and so on.


Doctors are like anyone else. A salesman for the pharmaceutical company calls on them and sings the praises of their products. They leave brochures and sample products for the doctors to try. New medications are always being developed and older medications are always being refined. Doctors want the best for their patients. They listen to what the pharmaceutical representative have to say; add in their own experience and prescribe medication that they feel will work the best.


The more information you can gather the more informed decision you can make. In the end though the decision is yours to make. Most doctors will agree and informed patient is a good patient.

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I am a stay at home mother with 5 children. 3 of my own and 2 step children. I love all of my kids with everything I have! My problem is with my stepchildren's mother. We have full custody of the girls and every time we have to interact with her, she causes a scene! It doesn't matter where we are or what we do, she has to have a complete breakdown so that all the attention is on her and we look like the bad guys. I have NEVER done anything to stop the girls from seeing their mother or defamed her in front of them but she tells the girls all kinds of lies about us. What can I do to try and keep the peace?? I have tried avoiding situations where we have to be in contact but there are certain times when it is unavoidable. I don't know what else to do

The only thing I can suggest is family counseling for the girls to help them understand the dynamics of the situation. If you can get the biological mother to attend counseling as well all the better. If not find a good child psychologist who specializes in children from divorced families.


Children are a lot smarter then we give them credit for. They see what is going on. The problem is they may not understand and become confused, especially if they are being torn between the two biological parents by one or both of the parents.


A good psychologist will do two things for them and you. The psychologist will provide the children with someone they can talk to in confidence about whatever it is that may be bothering them as well as helping you find and age appropriate way to talk with them at home.


As far as biological mom is concerned: If she is unwilling to attend counseling that is on her. The psychologist will help you in dealing with her as well.


I know your question was what you can do in dealing with bio-mom. The real problem as I see it is making sure that the children understand and can deal with bio-moms rantings. If you fix this the other problems you have will go away.

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I am 51 years old. When I was 10 I got molested by my brother in law. I did not say anything because my sister was pregnant at the time. My brother in law told me that if I said anything my sister would loose the baby. I believed him. I have had two marriages and don't trust anybody. When I was in my 20's I had to go to therapy because something was wrong with me. In therapy I found out it was because of what happened to me when I was 10. All these years I have kept it a secret, last week I decided it was time to set myself free from all this.

I sent my brother in law a letter stating how I was feeling and how he messed up my life. I also sent a letter to my sister telling her everything that has happened. Did I do right in doing this, even though it can mess up her marriage? I actually felt better after I did this.

I am so sorry for what your brother in-law did to you. He was wrong to do so and should be punished.


Where you right to do what you did: This is a really tricky question. Since it made you feel better after all this time; then it can't be totally wrong. The the age old saying comes in of; "Do two wrongs make a right." In your situation I'm just not sure. By this I mean is ruining you sister marriage and harming her and her children the proper and only punishment for your brother in-law. By this I mean;if you were to bring any legal action or criminal action against your brother in-law wouldn't it have the same effect on you sister and her children.


In my mind the fact that writing to your sister and telling her what has happened to you, has made you feel better; makes it right. Your letter to us tells me that even though you feel better you have your doubts about writing to your sister. Most likely because of what her reaction may be once she receives it. For this reason I suggest that if you are not currently in therapy you find a therapist to help you deal with a possible negative reaction form your sister.


I do not think you were wrong to write your sister as at some point in order for you to totally heal what has happened to you would have to surface. Now you have to deal with the aftermath of the revelation.

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I'm 17 & I've cut myself 4 different times I told my mom cause I wanted to cut again & I didn't want to Hirt myself cause I felt if I did it I won't make it .... So I told she cried & said she wil get me help it's Been 5 days & nothing ... I wish I never told so I can cut myselfvin peace cause my grandma told me I can't do she was crying tellin please don't do it again & I can't do that to her yet I wanna cut so bad I wish I never told !!!!!! Why am I like this ?? I know I shouldn't do this to myself & I know I should've like the fact I told but I hate it why ??????? What's wring with me ??????

You are probably suffering from teenage depression. There is help for you that you can do for yourself.


I would like you to call the following hotline number: 1-800-273-TALK. This is the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. Yes, I know your not planning on suicide but the volunteers who answer the phone are trained to help people who like you cut themselves. They will stay on the phone with you as long as you need to talk with them and help you find people who will help you with your problem.


In your mothers defense the reason she may not have done anything yet is she many not know what to do. Also the shock of not seeing this problem before it got to this point has probably hurt her, further delaying her response.


By calling the hotline I have given you they can help you with over come this by helping you get help. If you do not wish to call the hotline you can always call 911 or the local emergency number for where you live. Tell the call taker you are thinking/needing to cut yourself and the proper help will be sent to you. If you live in the U.S., you can go to any Hospital Emergency room tell them that you are thinking/needing to cut yourself and they will help you.

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Ok so here is the situation, my sister and I are best friends like we are really close. I'm the oldest and recently she did something that I thought was really foolish and very dangerous, so I told on her. My sister is a lot more advanced than me as far as sexual things go (I'm a virgin, she isn't) and so I don't know I think the big sister part of me kicked in. She war really mad at me but she isn't big on holding grudges, Do you think I over reacted by telling on her?

As a big sister it is never wrong to speak up if you think a younger sibling has done something or will do something that will cause them harm. This is what being a big sister is all about. It is called caring.


It has nothing to do with whether she was doing something sexual or whether she was going to borrow the family car without having a drivers license or asking permission. You don't have to know how to drive a car to know this is wrong.


I would say the same is true for whatever your sister may have done sexually. I am proud of you for caring for your sister enough to point out whatever she did was foolish and dangerous. You should be commended.

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so the past few times that ive been having sex with my boyfriend, within the first 2 minutes he feels like he`s about to cum, so he has to keep stopping for 5 seconds each time. so when he finally has it under control and hasnt finished, he starts to become really soft and i can get it hard again, but as soon as we start having sex it goes soft again. and he doesnt know why and neither do i..this has never happened before out of the 4 months we`ve been hanging out..it just started happening about 2 weeks ago..its also weird because he used to not finish for at least 10 or 15 minutes into it..and today he just texted me and said he`s having pains in his penis so i dont know..what do you think the problem is

It is unfortunate but if one is sexually active in today's world one has to be concerned about HIV and STDs. Are your boyfriends problems caused by STDs? Only a doctor and proper testing will give him the answer to that question.


The doctor he needs to see is a Urologist. A Urologist is a specialist who specializes in the treatment of problems of the urinary tract. This would include for a male problems with his penis.
There are many things that could be causing his problem(s). He needs to see a Urologist immediately for the pains in his penis if they are true pans as in any type pains could be very serious.


More important is for you is to be sure you are healthy. No matter what your age, when ever entering a new sexual relationship it is always advisable to be for both of you tested first. The days of one night stands and woodstock, yes I'm that old, are gone for ever as it is to risky to indulge in what was then called free love.


Since the problem your boyfriend is having has had a sudden onset and to protect yourself you need to be tested. Not that your boyfriend has been unfaithful while you two have been dating. Some illnesses have a long incubation time and may just be manifesting themselves.


What are the chances your boyfriends problem is STD related. That depends on how sexually active he was before meeting you.

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ok so i was at camp and on the last day was my period.i borrowed pads from a friend but i cant seem to tell my mom. she's super wierd about it. i dont want 4 her to be all exited and telling all her friends.plz give me a good idea of how u2 tell her without freaking out cuz im "becoming a woman". p.s. i"m 11

We parents are kind of weird, we get all excited about the strangest things. I understand you being embarrassed about getting your period, but you really shouldn't be. It is part of growing up and becoming a women. Of course having your mom taking an ad in the local news paper would be a little over the top.


Getting your period is a milestone mom has been looking forward to as much as she did your first step and your first word. Just like those milestones it will be hard for you to keep this from her. What you say to her is mom; "I know you will probably get all excited with the news I have for you but I find this very embarrassing so please can we just keep this between you, me and if you have to tell him just dad." Then tell her you got your period at camp and you need pads. She will have probably guessed before you get to the end of what you need to say to her, but say it anyway.

Know that you have gotten your period, remind mom you will need to see a gynecologist as part of your really back to school physicals.

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Hi! I'm a 20 year old female and I'm very short and petite. I'm 5 ft. Tall and I weight about 108 pounds. I'm at my weight but because I'm so short and small framed, I would feel more comfortable weighing about 96 to 98 pounds. I have weighed much more than now and much less and 96 before. I am comfortable now but I know I'd be much more comfortable at 98 or even 100 because of my size and structure. I am going to start a healthy diet but I guess what I'm looking for is tips. Since I don't have much to lose, how can I lose it quickly and stay motivated? Thanks xoxo

I am going to suggest you not loose any weight. For your height and age you are actually slightly under weight according to some of the charts I looked at. One chart I looked at has you grossly under weight. The problem with these charts are that they are based on parameters. Whether these parameters fit you in an entirety or partly no one can say other than your doctor.


What my quick research did point out is regardless of which chart I looked at they all agreed you are under weight. Being underweight can be as bad or even worse than being overweight. One of the biggest problem that I am aware of in under weight people is keeping their electrolytes in balance. Many are not even aware that they are out of balance until the floor literally comes up and smacks then in the face.


While you may think you are eating healthy and you may be. You may not be eating enough to provide your body with what it needs to function properly. When the body can't function properly it will do everything it can to save itself. It will protect your heart and brain at all costs. To do this it starts shutting down other systems to fuel what it needs to function.


To find out what your ideal weight is I would suggest you visit you doctor. Let your doctor be the judge of whether or not you need to loose weight or even gain a few pounds.

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how do i find a lawyer, let alone pay one when im not working or anything and am not acting right now?

You could try going to Legal Aid Society. You can find them on the web or in your local phone book.

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I am going for my gyno visit this week. I'm a bit nervous about some things. I am 19 years old and am sexually active. My mother does not know this.... and would kill me if she knew. The only reason I am going is because I have a persistent yeast infection. Anyway they said I need to come in a half hour early to fill out paper work. Are they going to ask me about my sexual history in the paper work, because my mom will be with me and I can't write that down with her next to me....What should I do? And when they call me into the room will they make my mom leave if she follows me there? I want to be honest with the doctor I just can't let my mom know....

You are 19 and of legal age. Even though you maybe in College and still using your mothers health insurance this does not give her any right to your medical information. Your medical information is confidential and cannot be released to anyone, including your parents, without your written permission.


Part of the paper work you will be asked to sign will be the doctors office policy in regard to HIPPA. HIPPA stands for Health Information Personal Privacy Act. This act spells out to whom and how your personal medical information can be released. Every doctor and medical practitioner you visit will have you fill out one of these forms for their records. Read it carefully, complete it, sign and date it.


Again even if you are using your mothers health insurance she need not be with you when you visit a doctor. Politely inform you mother that this is a very personal type of doctors appointment and you are now a legal adult and would prefer to visit the doctor alone. When and if she questions you as to why? Simply state that you medical treatments are something that is personal and private. Should you need her advice you will come to her. Of course should she ask the big question; are you having sex? Your answer should be along the lines of; That as an adult you feel that too is personal and private. Whatever you do don't say it is none of her business. While it may be none of her business, putting it that way is just the way to start an argument.


When filling out the doctors heath information forms: Fill them out completely and honestly. This is the only way the doctor can treat you properly. If you are sexually active the doctor needs to know this. If the form asks how many partners you have has put the correct number. If the form asks the type of protection used, say so or if not say that. These questions are designed in your best interest. So answer them truthfully on honestly.

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My girlfriend and me whenever we hang out she always just reaches her hands down my pants and she says she wants to give me a handjob...weve been dating for 7 months and i dont think that she will notice that im small since its her first handjob...i really want one but im afraid she will think im too small....what should i do?

I know you are only thinking about a handjob at this time. I thought the information that follows will help you feel better about your own package size.


To be blunt your penis is designed to do two things. First and foremost it is designed for a male to urinate with. Second it is designed to deliver sperm to a women's vagina. If your penis is functioning properly then it will be able to preform it's two main functions regardless of size.


Again to be blunt and to put it differently than another adviser did: it is not the size that matters, what matters is the person behind the penis that matters.

According to the latest Ansel Research Survey; the average male penis when erect is between 5.1 & 5.9 inches long, Average Vagina Size:


Relaxed
Length 3 1/2 to 4 inches
Diameter 1 Inch

Aroused
Length ("tented) 5 to 6 inches
Diameter 1 1/2 to 2 inches


As you can see by the size chart of the average female vagina. Any penis over 6 inches in length and 2 inches in girth is larger than the average vagina can easily accommodate. A larger penis will cause a woman with an average sized vagina pain during intercourse, especially if the male is not a thoughtful and considerate lover.


Don't worry that you are not hung like some of the porn stars you may see. Not all porn stars are hung like that. Most are average size.

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13/f. my brother lives in california, 23. Lives in an apartment. i want to move when im 14. Would i be an emancipated minior? i dont get along with my mom. and we both go to therapy. i have thought alot about this, and i am sure i want to move. My brothers said ok thats great. and my mom said ok. do i/mom need papers to sign? will my bro be my guardian? what will happen? also my brother and mom dont get along. thnks

There is a difference between being an emancipated minor and living with someone who is your guardian. Further complicating your situation is the thought or fact that you will be a child actor.


To be an emancipated minor means going to court and proving to a judge a number of factors as to why you should be emancipated. Your mother can give your brother guardianship over you with the right kind of legal papers.


Working as a child actor brings in a whole new set of circumstances for guardianship responsibilities and schooling requirements. Yes, you will still be required to finish school under your brothers guardianship and working as a child actor.


Being declared an emancipated minor is not a guarantee it is up to a judge to decide. The facts that you don't get along with your mother and you want to move to California to live with your brother; so you can work as an actor may not convince a judge to declare you an emancipated minor.


In any case; if you want to try for being emancipated or just having your mom give your brother guardianship rights your going to need a lawyer. This is not the type of legal work you want to trust with boiler plate forms downloaded from the web.


Find a lawyer and follow the advice the lawyer gives you.

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could any one give me all details about Concorde, history, how does it work, feature ??

I've answered this question once. The best way to learn anything about anything and everything that is of interest o you is to do the research yourself. You start by typing the subject matter in to a search engine an then go from there. It is really quite interesting to follow the different links. You will also learn more as you will be able to follow links of interest and links of somethings you may never thought of. Try it you will be surprised how easy it is.


You have picked a good subject. The Concorde was a great airplane and one of the few flying built since WWII that I have not flown on.

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Well i am a virgen and My boy friend is one too and he always talks about how he wants to lose it well I said soon and he said how soon and i said whenever (Dumb answer) And he wants to do it in about 4 days Help!!Idont no what to do So plz leave a comment telling me what i should do !!

The best advice I can give you when it comes to sex, be you a virgin or long time practitioner: NEVER EVER ALLOW YOURSELF TO COERCED OR FORCED INTO DOING SOMETHING YOU DON'T WANT TO DO.

Sex has to be mutually agreed to to be enjoyable. If one partner is not willing or is anyway not an active participant it is not going to be an enjoyable event.


It also has to be understood that NO means NO when ever one or the other says it. Stop also means STOP whenever it is said. TO continue is RAPE. You do not want to have sex. If your boyfriend in anyway forces you to do something you have told him you don't want to do that is RAPE. It is that simple.


If your boyfriend has put a time limit on when you have to have sex he is not much of a boyfriend. If he does not respect you enough to wait until you are ready then his only interest is sex not lot love. Tell him to get lost.


There are boys out there who will respect you and love you for who you are . You deserve to find a boy who does respect you and is in love with you not just lusts for you. Many boy confuse lust for love. Your current boyfriend has placed lust ahead of all else. Show where the door is.

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I am a 15 year old girl and I go to a strict Catholic school. I have caught myself "admiring" girl's bodies more than guy's bodies (especially when I go to my gym). I also had a bit of a fantasy where I kissed one of my female friends.... What does this mean? I have never dated anyone, not even guys, so does that affect it?? I know that some people say to experiment by dating a girl, but I am way to shy for that... I have no idea if this is just a phase or what. Any ideas??

You are using the word admiring. Is it possible that the word comparing is appropriate as well. Many teenagers, both boys and girls will compare themselves to their friends and others. It is probably the biggest reason teenagers don't like to shower after gym class.


As for the fantasy of kissing another girl; that is normal at your age. Your going through puberty and trying to figure out your sexuality. There is nothing wrong with experimentation, including sexual experimentation. Although at 15 I would suggest you wait until your older before fully experimenting.


Right now your hormones are playing little tricks on you while they change you from a little girl into a young women. I think it is okay to question and to wonder to learn all you can in a classic theoretical manner. When your older and more mature you can then decide what and how to to use the theory you learned.


For now don't put any labels on yourself. Labels are never appropriate in the first place and in this instance you are far to young to put a label on your sexuality. Just enjoy being you and becoming a young women.

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i love animals and i would love to volunteer for a thing that wants to stop animal cruelty but i dont know whered id find one .. i am 14 and i dont want to donate money i want to give them my time and effort cause im pretty much broke and so is my family. i live in ranburne alabama thats close to heflin, bowdon, GA and places like that . so is there any website or organization i can volunteer for around here?

You may be too young to do any actual volunteer work at your present age.


The one place you might be able to help would be the local animal shelter. Give them a call. If they are anything like the animal shelter near me they always need help caring for their dogs, cats and other animals in their care.

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I woke up this morning and noticed a huge swelled bite below my chest. It is swelled and red with black in the middle of it. It doesn't seem like a normal bug bite. Could it be a spider bite? And how do I treat it? Every time I try to rupture it or something it swells even more. Are there certain types of cream or ointment I can put on it?

Thanks so much!

I did some quick research on the web concerning spider bites. What I found is that spider bites are rare but it does happen. Everything that I read had the same advice: Seek immediate medical attention.


I would suggest going to a walk-in clinic or hospital emergency room.

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Hi,

I'm 20/F/Missouri.

I just recently worked up the courage to visit an Air Force recruiter because I've felt the desire to serve my country for a long time, but never had the courage to do so.

I've been looking into the Air Force for quite some time now, and I have a few questions that I've discussed with my recruiter, but of course, being my recruiter, she will tell me what I want to hear in order to get me to join.

I want to know, from those of you who have experienced it.

1. Which education plan is better for those individuals who are interested in pursuing a different career, aside from the Air Force?

There is the TAP program, where you study your career on your off duty time, while serving active duty.

And then, there is the MGIBill, where you continue your education after serving so many years, active duty.

2. For those of you who are, or know someone who is an EOD (Explosives Ordinance Disposal): What does the job entail on a daily basis?

3. Dislikes, or dissatisfied moments of Air Force life?


I'm going to serve my country, no matter what. I just need to better prepare myself for some things I'm not sure of.

Thank you.


When I was in the Air Force we had the Armed Forces Extension Program which allowed you to study during off duty hours. Those course were self-study courses and had no time limits for completion. Whatever credits you earned were transferable to whatever College you chose to go to after discharge, using the GI Bill. This may be what the TAP program is, ask your recruiter to clarify this for you.


My son wanted to follow me and join the Air Force, he chose to join the Army when we found that only the Army guaranteed your military career duty prior to enlistment. The Air Force may be telling you that you are qualified for EOD but you will be classified at Lackland AFB while in Basic Training and could end up going to cooks and Bakers school. You will be trained for whatever job the Air Force needs you in based on their needs at the time and your qualifications.


As to what EOD is: You will be trained to defuse unexploded mines and ordinance. A very dangerous job and one that can have a very short life span.


I was an aircraft repairman during my time in the Air Force. Once I finished basic training and AIT I thoroughly enjoyed my Air Force career. Had there not been the Vietnam war going on at the time I may have made it a career.


As to rape and women in the military. Rape and sexual harassment is something that the military, all branches, are working hard to change the occurrence and attitude towards. Military bases are little cities. The same precautions you would take against rape at home you take against rape on a military base or Navy ship. As to sexual harassment, you do not have to put up with it. There are procedures in place to report it. Disregard what others may tell you: The military takes all reports of sexual harassment seriously. If you are harassed and your report is not taken seriously a letter or phone call to your congressman will fix that in short order.

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my dad wont let me date does he not trust me or what

To answer this question I need to know how old you are.


I will tell you this though; no matter how old you get you will always be daddy's little girl. That is the double standard between boys and girls. Boys grow up to be men. Girls will grow up have their own families and still remain little girls in their fathers eyes.


This has been this way since just about forever. There is no man who is ever good enough for daddy's little girls and whoa on to the man that soils daddy's little girl.


If you are old enough to date the fact that your dad won't let you date has less to do with trusting you and more to do with not trusting boys. Remember at one time all us dads were boys who wanted to date girls and we remember what we were like.


Your dad is just trying to protect you. fighting, crying, yelling and screaming will not change his mind. What might change his mind is what worked with me. I don't have any daughters. But I helped my sister raise my nieces. When my oldest niece wanted to date she asked me to come over to talk. She crawled into my lap and put her head on my shoulder the calmly explained to me that she wasn't a little girls any more. That in order to grow she needed to be able to experience things, make her own mistakes and hopefully my sister and I would be there to fix the mistakes she made.


Now of course these are my words not hers. But her words worked and I spoke to my sister. We gave my niece a little more freedom with the knowledge that this freedom was given not earned. If she wanted more freedom she would have to earn it by not abusing what was given.


This worked out well for my niece. It might work for you if you CALMLY TALK WITH YOUR FATHER.

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My sister is 58 years old. She is always getting after my 17 year old daughter, because my daughter tells her 5 year old grandson to behave because he is always misbehaving. Is is wrong for my daughter to correct him since she does not do it. He does all this in our house. She has stopped talking to my daughter because of this.

This is a tricky question for the reasons you have just stated.


My feeling is when a child is visiting the home of a friend or a relative that friend or relative has the right to gently correct behavior that is inappropriate, could harm the child, cause breakage to something or greatly disrupt whatever is happening at that home.


Before taking it upon yourself to discipline or correct behavior a word to the child's parent or guardian that the child's behavior is unacceptable is appropriate before you undertake disciplining the child. If the parent or guardian refuses or ignores the child's behavior i feel you have the right to act as you see fit in your own home.


If your daughter was acting to protect the child from harm, to protect her property from harm or even to just protect herself from annoyance; I see nothing wrong with her actions. Unfortunately not all people see this as you and I do and you end up in a situation as you find yourself in.


Not knowing exactly what is going on it is hard to say who is right and who is wrong in your situation. If the 5 year old is being an annoyance to the 17 year old the grandma should step in. If not then the 17 year old has the right to discipline to protect themselves; which I somehow feel is the situation here.


Talk to your sister, tell her you enjoy her visits and you love your Grandnephew. But if she is not willing to watch him and correct inappropriate behavior when in your home it my be best she leave him home when she visits you whit out his parents.

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