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molestation when I was 10 just coming out now
I am 51 years old. When I was 10 I got molested by my brother in law. I did not say anything because my sister was pregnant at the time. My brother in law told me that if I said anything my sister would loose the baby. I believed him. I have had two marriages and don't trust anybody. When I was in my 20's I had to go to therapy because something was wrong with me. In therapy I found out it was because of what happened to me when I was 10. All these years I have kept it a secret, last week I decided it was time to set myself free from all this.
I sent my brother in law a letter stating how I was feeling and how he messed up my life. I also sent a letter to my sister telling her everything that has happened. Did I do right in doing this, even though it can mess up her marriage? I actually felt better after I did this.
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I am so sorry for what your brother in-law did to you. He was wrong to do so and should be punished.
Where you right to do what you did: This is a really tricky question. Since it made you feel better after all this time; then it can't be totally wrong. The the age old saying comes in of; "Do two wrongs make a right." In your situation I'm just not sure. By this I mean is ruining you sister marriage and harming her and her children the proper and only punishment for your brother in-law. By this I mean;if you were to bring any legal action or criminal action against your brother in-law wouldn't it have the same effect on you sister and her children.
In my mind the fact that writing to your sister and telling her what has happened to you, has made you feel better; makes it right. Your letter to us tells me that even though you feel better you have your doubts about writing to your sister. Most likely because of what her reaction may be once she receives it. For this reason I suggest that if you are not currently in therapy you find a therapist to help you deal with a possible negative reaction form your sister.
I do not think you were wrong to write your sister as at some point in order for you to totally heal what has happened to you would have to surface. Now you have to deal with the aftermath of the revelation.
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Firstly, i am so sorry, secondly, i am not a professional and i feel bad to answer this since i am a very young person but i wish to put my opinion.
i believe that you made the right chose by sending those letters, i think your sister will understand and stand by you and your brother in law should be put away.
You should feel better about this and feel a little bit more comfortable with people.
Live life while it lasts and dont be afraid to engage love and live a bit.
There are so many people in your life who you can talk to.
Good Luck.:)
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