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Who should discipline this child?
My sister is 58 years old. She is always getting after my 17 year old daughter, because my daughter tells her 5 year old grandson to behave because he is always misbehaving. Is is wrong for my daughter to correct him since she does not do it. He does all this in our house. She has stopped talking to my daughter because of this.
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This is a tricky question for the reasons you have just stated.
My feeling is when a child is visiting the home of a friend or a relative that friend or relative has the right to gently correct behavior that is inappropriate, could harm the child, cause breakage to something or greatly disrupt whatever is happening at that home.
Before taking it upon yourself to discipline or correct behavior a word to the child's parent or guardian that the child's behavior is unacceptable is appropriate before you undertake disciplining the child. If the parent or guardian refuses or ignores the child's behavior i feel you have the right to act as you see fit in your own home.
If your daughter was acting to protect the child from harm, to protect her property from harm or even to just protect herself from annoyance; I see nothing wrong with her actions. Unfortunately not all people see this as you and I do and you end up in a situation as you find yourself in.
Not knowing exactly what is going on it is hard to say who is right and who is wrong in your situation. If the 5 year old is being an annoyance to the 17 year old the grandma should step in. If not then the 17 year old has the right to discipline to protect themselves; which I somehow feel is the situation here.
Talk to your sister, tell her you enjoy her visits and you love your Grandnephew. But if she is not willing to watch him and correct inappropriate behavior when in your home it my be best she leave him home when she visits you whit out his parents.
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