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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
I recently found out my wife had an affair with my brother about 12 yrs. ago. Not sure if I should confront her about it or not. Feel like I've played a fool for a long time. Unsure what to do.
This is a tough question to answer. I think I know how you must feel just discovering your wife cheated on you and knowing it was your brother of all people it is twice as devastating.
Not knowing how long you and your wife have been married complicates my answering you.
If it is a one time thing that is over and your wife had been loyal to you ever since; if I were you I think I would not confront her with this. Confronting her would only hurt what you have now. The one I would confront, possibly is your brother for I think he is the cop-able one in this situation.
Why? Simply that if your wife has been faithful ever since then to my way of thinking your brother must have been the aggressor in this affair. If I were you and I felt I must confront someone I would confront my brother and in doing so tell him to; one stay away from your wife, two this conversation stays between the two of you three say whatever else you feel you have to say to him.
Like I said it is most likely your brother that has played you for a fool. If you feel you must say something to your wife then I suggest you also consider joint marriage counseling. I don't think you should throw the last 12 years away over something you just found out. Especially if this was a one time thing perpetrated by your brother.
I'm 18 years old and fresh into my first year of college. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly four years now. My boyfriend will be 19 next month. He's also fresh into college and he works full-time. Lately, we've been discussing marriage more and more. We truly desire to get engaged and married within the next year. Is 18/19 too young to be married? What all should we be considering?
Legally you are both of age to marry without parental consent. Therefor you can if you wish marry. Several questions you should ask yourselves before you make a decision.
When you marry you form your own family with it comes your own responsibilities. The questions that need to be answered are.
1)If you marry will you both be able to finish college? Some parents see marriage as the end of their responsibility for things like college.
2) If the answer to question 1 is no in both instances, who is going to complete their education while the other works to support them. Are you sure that the one who gives up college now will not resent it later and will have the opportunity to complete college later.
3)While the working partner may be able to earn enough money for food, rent and other incidental it is doubtful there will be enough to cover tuition. This means upon graduation you will both be saddled with tens of thousands of dollars in college loans.
I could go on with this list but I think I have made my point. Right now your parents are footing the bill(S) for college. I see nothing wrong with a long engagement culminating upon graduation. You can celebrate graduation with a wedding and start married life on equal footing. My suggestions offers more success for your marriage as well as your career choices.
Just something to consider.
Well yeah I am feeling suicidal,
I just completed my ALevels in the UK and got my results about 2 weeks ago. I didn't do as well as I expected.
I literally worked so so so hard and at the end of it I didn't achieve the grades I needed to get into the medicine course at University.
The problem is all I've ever wanted to be was a doctor and I tried soso hard and just didn't make it. In the 2 years it took to do my alevels every single failure has just upset me more and more and now I really don't see the point in life.
Being a doctor means everything to me. The reason being, I lost quite a close fried just before I started alevel course and he commit suicide. This rereally upset me and I've talked about his death to my girlfriend at the time and still my girlfriend for over a year. I know that all I've wanted to do since that point is I wanted to be a doctor to help kids who feel like that.
I turned 18 a few months back and I have felt this feeling ever since I realised I can't do medicine. Its all I want to do, I've asked universities to accept me up to the point of begging but I understand that it will never happen.
My parents are v.supportive and told me to keep at it and as I asked them I told them make sure I stay in the house and just keep working till I get there. But realistically from the 2/3 weeks ago I got my results I know it will never happen and I just don't know what is the point in living this life when I am just empty.
Idk why I am posting on here I just feel like I need someone to talk to:/
Your 18 and you want to end your life because you don't get into medical school. Here in the good old USA you can't even apply to medical school for another 4 years until you complete an undergraduate course at a 4 year university.
To be a doctor in the USA you need to complete 4 years of undergraduate school, take the MSAT exam and score a grade high enough to qualify for the limited number of openings that year. Then complete 3 years of medical school, 1 year of Internship, which is still really the 4th year of medical school. Then you need to complete a residency program. If you hit each bench mark on schedule someone your age may get to start their practice at age 28.
Many good doctors do not get in to medical school the first time they apply. Some have to retake the MSAT exams several times before they score an acceptable grade. The MSATS are scored on a curve. If you take a test that has been around for some time you can score really low even if you answer most of the question correctly, whereas if it is a new test you can answer many questions wrong and score high.
If you really want to be a doctor you won't give up. A doctor who doesn't give up makes the best doctor. A doctor who doesn't give up keeps working to find the answers or solution. Consider this your trial by fire. Keep trying until your are accepted. Then work your ass of to be the best you can be.
I'm a 10th grader so a sophomore in high school (a private high school) and only 3 or 4 people like me in the whole school (its a VERY small school) I notice that a large group of people (the popular people) whisper to other people about me when they see me. I don't know what ther'ye saying, but i can tell that they're talking about me because they look and me and laugh when they do it. Is this considered bullying or not? How should i handle this? I already have way low self esteem and I know that's bad but I don't know how to get a higher self esteem... It makes me feel really bad and I often go home and cry in my bedroom about it I've told my mom and she just said that I need to ignore it...and I've tried but it seems that there is no way I can ignore it. Please I need help. I don't know if I can confront them i'm also very shy and scared... :(
No talking about someone behind their back, or whispering about them where the can see them is not truly bulling them. It doesn't even come up to taunting.
You have some friends which is good. You need to spend time with them and not worry about the other kids in school. I know it is easy for me to write this and herder for you to accept this. Thing is that these kids will only be in your life for another year or two and then you will all go your separate ways. Some of you will go off to college, some will go into the military and some will go off to seek there fortunes in the work place. High school friendships are never or rarely life long.
As for low self esteem. I look at the world this way The only person I have to be better than tomorrow is the person I am today. It is a motto I have used all my life. I am now retired from a great career in Sales and Marketing. That motto and this one; If I leave the house in the morning an not learn anything, I have wasted the day. I never worried about making a sale on a particular day. I was more interested in learning something about my business, my customers business and the people they served. The more I knew the better I was able to do my job which insect was to help my customer make money with my products.
How does relate to you and school. The better you are as a student the more valuable your friendship will be. Yea I know, no one really likes the class nerd. At least in front of the other class clowns and hipsters. Even in school friendships are all about networking. Networking is all about what the other person can do for me. Can being with them make me look good. Can they help me with my studies. This hasn't changed from when I was in school.
You don't need to worry what others think. You just need to worry about you and how you can better yourself. If you can be a better person tomorrow than you are today your self esteem will rise as well.
Which way is the best way to commit suicide which hurts less and is quick
1. You won't find an answer to your question her, that is not what we do. If you would like help that's what we do and we will help you live if you tell us what is bothering you
2. There is no painless way to commit suicide. As a first responder I have responded to many attempted suicide. They all hurt.
emotionally what can happen to a morman man if he does the ultimate betrayal and has sex with a woman of no religious values?
i am left feeling vry confused and am not sure what the outcome will be.
i know this will most likley destroy our friendship but am worried about how this wil mentally affect him?
both people involved are 22
I'm not sure what you mean by: "the ultimate betrayal." other than having sex before marriage or having sex with a non-Mormon. Both of these would be a betrayal of his religion. Dating a non-Mormon would to my mind be a form of betrayal of his religion for as I said they are a very closed religion.
If you are dating a Mormon and he is aware you are a non Mormon two things come to mind. One; he is thinking of using you to experience that which he cannot experience with a women he can marry and bring home to his family. In other words you will never make a life with this man. Two; he has already decided the Mormon way of life is not the way he wants to live his life.
The second possibility is rare but it does happen. Unlike the Amish, who give there children a chance to experience life before committing to the Amish lifestyle, the Mormons do not give their children such an opportunity. Their life style within their religion allows for them to enjoy many of the, as the Amish say, fancy things. What they are not allowed is alcohol, cigarettes, premarital sex and some of the other things their religion considers sinful.
They must also commit a percentage of their income to the Church.
Only he can answer why he has decided to date outside his religion and why he is wanting to have a sexual relationship with you. If you are looking for a long term relationship with this man and possible marriage I would suggest you get answers as to why before you commit any further with him.
Of course there is always the possibility of you joining the Mormon Church, One thing they are away looking to do as they put it, is save people. From what you originally wrote you are a prime candidate in their eyes for savings.
Please keep in mind these are just my thoughts. But I feel you need some answers before you go any further with this relationship.
My Father died when I was 6 years old, and it is now 10 years later and my Mother still hasn't properly grieved for him. She has not had a job since, (my father, financially, left us off very well) and she is constantly "keeping herself busy" with pointless things to do. She has an extreme ammount of stress for no reason at all, because she is CONSTANTLY worrying about everyone she knows.. She also has a gambling addiction, which she is working on at the moment, and a smoking addiction. She has gotten to the point where she stresses so much that it is starting to effect her health (giving her eye twitches and other physical problems). Her nerves are basically shocked and it is extremely hard to try and convince her that ANY of this is real. I don't know what is wrong with her but she definitely has some sort of a mental illness now, and maybe even a physical. The only option left for her is an intervention. I am trying to plan one, but since I am only 17 it is hard to do this all by myself and make it legit enough for her to see what she is doing to herself. If you have ANY, any ideas, on how to start or have this intervention, or know of any homes that she can be taken to "to heal" essentially that would be great. Thanks so much in advance!
Amber
When someone has a mental illness an intervention is not going to work, I know; I suffered from depression for many years before I finally realized what others where trying to tell me. An intervention would be a case of leading a horse to water and trying to make it drink, it just does not happen.
It is the same thing with addictions. My brother in-law is a member of AA 25 years sober. As he tells it a person has to hit bottom before they realize the need help. It is the same with some mental illnesses.
If a person is functioning then something is needed to happen to them to make them see they need help. For me it was an auto accident than nearly took my life. I was the victim in a three car accident and the only person injures. The stress of dealing with the lawyers and compensation people pushed me to my bottom. This is what your mom needs. Something that pushes her to her bottom that tell her she needs help, that she is not functioning.
You could try talking to your family doctor. Your mother may listen to her doctor. I didn't but we are all different.
The only other option is involuntary commitment. This is an extreme measure and as I said if mom is functioning. Meaning she can care fir you, herself, the house, pay her bill and so forth. You will probably not prevail at a commitment hearing.
No, not clinically depressed, I am not suicidal or anything to that extreme. It's just lately I feel like I don't matter, like whatever I do whether it is great or not ... it doesn't matter. I am a junior in high school. I am taking three college courses this year and it's getting stressful. My boyfriend me get a limited time to talk ( long and stupid story) and we aren't even talking the time allowed. It feels like our schedules are opposites. I went home and crashed yesterday, I slept from 6-8 and then went back to bed at 9 and woke up at 6. I was so tired when I woke up... you would think that much sleep would put me in a good mood. .. right?
Also I feel irritated and all the small things that shouldn't bother me, like how a friend talks a lot < but she's been doing that for a few years and it hasn't bothered me as much till now. ... I don't know what is wrong with me. How can I get more... happy? No doctors, no counselors, no medication...
17/f
It sounds like you are overreaching a bit, stressed out. Other than suggesting you make sure you are eating properly, getting proper rest and exercising. There is not much more I can offer you.
You have said "No doctors, no counselors, no medication." I will suggest you reconsider these options, at least to the point of having a full physical if you did not get one prior to starting school. There are reasons you are feeling the way you are. There can be a medical reason that needs a doctors attention or you could be stressed out by your work load.
Stress is a big problem that can lead to physical problems. Left undiagnosed it can the physical can be very serious, even in teenagers. I suggest you reconsider your No doctors, no counselors, no medication request and at the very least schedule a visit to your primary care doctor.
I'm female, 16 years old. I'm really worried because I've had symptoms like discharge, odor, and bleeding/brown stuff for like the past 3 months. I haven't ever been tested for anything and I regret it.
I've been in a bad relationship for a while and he's had sex with other girls and I've had sex with 2 other guys.
I'm wondering if I should let my mom know and go get tested (because I fear that I'm putting it off for too long... and I don't want things to get worse). Do you think I should? Or should I just wait for these "symptoms" to go away?
I'm scared and it's kinda embarrassing. Please try to put yourself in my place :/ thanks.
Yes, you need to be seen by a doctor and be tested for STDs and HIV. The sooner you do this the better off you will be. You should schedule an appointment with a Gynecologist ASAP.
As to telling your mother. That is entirely up to you. You do not have to in order to see a doctor. By law you have medical confidentiality for just such reasons as you have right now. So you can go to a doctor and get treatment.
The law, called HIPPA, gives you medical confidentiality; meaning you can see a doctor in private without your mother in the exam room. Your doctor may NOT release any information to anyone, including your parents without your written permission. You will be asked to sign a HIPPA form at the doctors office. Read it carefully and do not allow anyone to force you to waive your rights under the law, which is unlawful for them to do so.
If you wish to tell your mother that you need to see a doctor and what you tell her is entirely up to you. Since you were 14 you have had total medical confidentiality over you medical condition as it relates to your reproductive system. Congress passed this in the HIPPA law just so that young women like you could seek medical help when needed.
I am 18 years old now. ohkay i need help. ive been trying to figure this out for a while. So since i was little i remember humping things, i remember tring to do sexual things to myself and playing "doctor" with other people when i was like 9ish. i was told from my mom that she caught my older cousin kissing me one day, i dont remember this AT ALL. i just remember her never letting me and him alone together ever. Ever since those young years i always get this "guilt" feeling like when i have sex with my boyfriend i have to stop because i get this feeling. but i had that feeling even when i humped things when i was little. and about 3 years ago i fell asleep in my brothers bed and i woke up to him touching my butt so i moved alittle to the side and he started touching my butt again and then after a couple minutes he stopped, i just acted like i was sleeping so idk if he was or not. i just i want this feeling to go away and idk why i get it, but its an occasional feeling. any response is helpful. thank you.
I can't say for sure if you were abused or not from what you have written. If you were abused you may have repressed the event and it is manifesting itself to a degree.
I would suggest you find a therapist. psychologist you are comfortable with. You may have to work with a few before you find one you are comfortable with. Work with the therapist to find and bring forward any repressed memory and then deal with it. Once you have dealt with it the feelings you now have when having sex will go away.
16/F
Well I was suppose to start my period around the 24th of August, but now it's about 2 weeks late. I've taken pregnancy tests & they came out negative.
I also, get migraines almost everyday. & I can't even concentrate on anything.
& I'm always falling asleep during class, or right when I get home. Like I can barely keep my eyes open even when I want to.
I'm iron deficient & just began taking Nature Made Iron (65mg) pills about 3 weeks ago. I'm not sure if that could have anything to do with it.
Any clues as to what's happening ?
First: You need to see doctor and be properly diagnosed. Missing a period is no big deal with the symptoms you have written about. The female body is quite complicated and it does not take much to throw it off cycle.
Second: A migraine can just be a migraine or it can be a symptom of something else. If I take out the Iron Deficiency, which is this self diagnosed, or diagnosed by a doctor, I could see symptoms of Mono. Yes the kissing disease. I'm not a doctor and even if I were I could not make a proper diagnoses over the web.
Third: If you are sexually active you should consider and speak to your doctor about birth control. As a 16 year old you have medical confidentiality in these matters. Meaning you can visit with your doctor, in private and full confidentiality without a parent present. Your doctor may NOT speak to your parent(S) about anything you speak of during the exam or anything he may or may not be treating you for without your written permission.
With all the above being said; go see your doctor. Have mom wait in the waiting room. If need be ask the doctor to have mom wait in the waiting room. Let the doctor examine you. Discuss birth control options with the doctor if you wish to and let the doctor treat you for whatever is currently bothering you.
If you don't know, there is a massive power outage that has most of San Diego county in the dark. My parents live there, and I can't reach them.
How do I contact my relatives in San Diego when their phones don't work since they went out with the power?
If anyone has any ideas, I would thank you for your help!
If your parents do not have cell phones and even if they do it is going to be hard to contact them until the power comes back on. If they have cell phones and you are unable to contact them I would not worry. During power outages cell usage goes up and the system becomes over loaded. If you keep trying you will eventually get through.
As to having the emergency services check on your parents. Yes this can be done if your parents are truly in need of what we call a "check on the welfare call". Understand though unless one of your parents is in need of power for a machine for life support this is a low priority call and will take time before they can make the check and call you back.
With the advent of fiber over copper wire and wireless phones over hard wire phones the problem you are having in reaching your parents will continue. For your own piece of mind ask your parents to get one old style corded phone to plug in to one of the jacks in the house. In this way in future power outages as long as the phone company is in operation you should be able to reach your parents,
How do you know when you need your tonsils out cause mine are super sollwen they have little white patches my friends say I need to get them out what do you think?
This is a question for your doctor not any of us; we are not doctors.
Back in the dark days tonsils were routinely removed if you had severe bouts of tonsillitis. Today doctors are not as fast to remove tonsils. It may be that we have better antibiotics today or that doctors have found that the tonsils serve a purpose more than they knew back then.
For what ever reason the only person that can tell you for sure is either your family doctor or an ENT Specialist.
emotionally what can happen to a morman man if he does the ultimate betrayal and has sex with a woman of no religious values?
i am left feeling vry confused and am not sure what the outcome will be.
i know this will most likley destroy our friendship but am worried about how this wil mentally affect him?
both people involved are 22
I wish I had a good answer for you; I do not. I roomed with a Mormon when I was in the Air Force, at training School and found him to be very attached to his religion.
I'm not sure what you mean by: "the ultimate betrayal." other than having sex before marriage or having sex with a non-Mormon. Both of these would be a betrayal of his religion. Dating a non-Mormon would to my mind be a form of betrayal of his religion for as I said they are a very closed religion.
If you are dating a Mormon and he is aware you are a non Mormon two things come to mind. One; he is thinking of using you to experience that which he cannot experience with a women he can marry and bring home to his family. In other words you will never make a life with this man. Two; he has already decided the Mormon way of life is not the way he wants to live his life.
The second possibility is rare but it does happen. Unlike the Amish, who give there children a chance to experience life before committing to the Amish lifestyle, the Mormons do not give their children such an opportunity. Their life style within their religion allows for them to enjoy many of the, as the Amish say, fancy things. What they are not allowed is alcohol, cigarettes, premarital sex and some of the other things their religion considers sinful.
They must also commit a percentage of their income to the Church.
Only he can answer why he has decided to date outside his religion and why he is wanting to have a sexual relationship with you. If you are looking for a long term relationship with this man and possible marriage I would suggest you get answers as to why before you commit any further with him.
Of course there is always the possibility of you joining the Mormon Church, One thing they are away looking to do as they put it, is save people. From what you originally wrote you are a prime candidate in their eyes for savings.
Please keep in mind these are just my thoughts. But I feel you need some answers before you go any further with this relationship.
if the hymen in the virgina is torn without the woman having sex does it mean that she is no longer a virgin
There are a number of definitions of Virginity and the loss there of.
The most common definition of being a non-virgin is when a female is penetrated by a male penis in her vagina. The least common definition of being a non-virgin is when you have any type of sexual, I'll use the word intercourse all though it does not mean vaginal sex, intercourse. Meaning Being fingered or hand lob given, oral sex given or received or any other type of sexual contact.
A broken Hymen is not a sign that a women is no longer a virgin. A women can break her hymen riding a bike, horse back riding or doing athletic exercise.
The short answer to your question is: No; a torn Hyman is not a sign a women is not a virgin.
Is their really no such thing as believing in God and Evolution??? Really? Am I the only one? I mean everyone I tell this too gives me crap about how there's no such thing. In my perfect ideal mind, God is not discriminative against gays, bi's or lesbians, skin color, or form of religion. He created the world (well, more like lives amongst the universe) as is and created it to change and shift forms along with the products living among it. Animals are just as important as human beings and God loves and is not to be feared.
My parents are Catholic maniacs and their ways of thinking and belief are just not the kinds of things I belive and feel are truely correct. If their God is the real God I may as well be down in hell right now! I mean what the heck? Is there anyone out there who sees things the way I do?
I'm not the most religious person in the world either. At best I am an agnostic. What I believe is what I believe and if people don't agree with me, well that is there problem not mine.
Like you I believe that we are all one. In the Bible it says someplace that we are all made in gods image. To me that includes people of all color, and sexual preference.
I believe we should all have the right to believe as we want too as this is why we have free will. This is also why we are fighting a war in Iraq and Afghanistan now against Religious fanatics and there goal to rule the world under their religious beliefs.
These are my thoughts and I am entitled to them just as you are entitled to yours. While you live under your parents roof they will try to change you to believe as they do. They really have no right to do so. They believe the right to do so comes with parenting.
Dear adviceman49 you answered my question about showering with my dad and i need to know more. I didnt think it was wrong and im still a little confused on why exactly it is because my dad loves me. Why is it so wrong, Ive done it since i was 5 and dad says its fine that we do. IM really confused! But i have apologized to my friends since reading your advice. But I dont want my dad to go to jail or anything. I live with my mom part time and she doesnt know. Should i tell her? Also I thought i would talk with my dad about it and ask him and he didnt like me bringing it up and we got into a huge fight! he slapped me and told me not to talk about it again! He came into the shower again and apologized later. It was the first time in ten years since i have showered without my dad. Im scared now and dont understand. What should I do?
Did you call RAINN as I asked you to do. At this point they are far better qualified to help you then I am as they can talk to you an ask questions of you. There are questions that need to be asked and responded to.
You have done nothing wrong, please understand that. As I thought you have been doing something that you have found to be quite normal as you have been doing it since you were to young to no better. It is not normal for a child your age or even age 5 to shower with a parent or any adult of the opposite sex.
You father got mad because he knows he has been wrong. He may have not done anything wrong in a sexual sense. But under the law he didn't have too. Whether he goes to jail or not is not up to you. One of your friends is bound to tell their parent or a friend of theirs who will tell their parent. The cat so to speak is now out of the bag. Even in telling your friend you did nothing wrong for you did not know what you where doing is wrong. So do not blame yourself for whatever happens.
You need to tell your mom and go back to living with her. What happens next is really up to you mom. Please call RAINN and let them help you and call mom now and tell her everything.
21 female
Last night me and my boyfriend started making out, which lead to us both being really horny. I took my shirt off and he started rubbing my boobs and licking my nipples. Then he pulled down his pants and I started touching his penis.
The thing is I've never given a hand or blow job before! So when i tried giving him a little hand job, it basically turned out horrible. My hands were clammy/sticky so my hand wasn't sliding right and it just seemed awful. Then I started feeling something come out of his penis and I thought it was cum, and it went on my leg. I freaked out a little bit because I made it clear I didn't want him to do that on me but then he said noooo it's not that I wouldn't do that to you. So I don't know what it was like pre-cum or what? So I basically made a fool out of myself and stopped.
I am terrified to try this next time. I want to do it so bad but I feel like i failed miserably. Should I use some type of lotion or at least Vaseline to make my hand move more smoothly? How cam I make next time better, I have no idea what I'm doing! :\ A little embarrassing.
There is a first time for everything and your never perfect the first time you do anything.
The nice thing about sex is the intimacy. I'm sure your boyfriend appreciated your effort knowing this was your first time. Like everything else you will get better with practice. Yes, getting some massage oil or lubrication will make it better for both of you.
As a general rule here; a man cannot control his precum and there will come a point where he will not be able to keep from ejaculating. I would suggest the next time you and he are in bed together you keep a towel handy. The precum is a lubricant and is all protein with some sperm mixed in. It won't hurt you and should not spurt out but more come out in the form of leakage. If you want to bring your BF to completion tell him to tell you when he is going to cum, then hold the towel over his penis so when he ejaculates his cum hits the towel and not you.
I would also suggest that if you are not on birth control you consider getting on birth control. Why? At some point this activity will lead to intercourse, if you consent to it. Condoms alone are not as effective as you being on birth control. Even so he should use a condom as well.
I'm now a sophomore in high school and it's so much harder then freshman year...I'm taking an AP world civ. class but for some reason when i sit down to study I can't keep my mind on what i'm reading and when i get done reading a big long paragraph I don't even know what it's about? How can i become more focused? I'm already failing the class I have a C- and it seems that almost everyone else is passing...How am I supposed to study and stay focused?
The advise given by the other two adviser's is good advice. My son was in College when he was diagnosed with ADD, so I believe it is something that can strike at any time.
You need to ask your parents to have you tested by your doctor. IF you are not add then a learning disorder that was easier to cope with in the lower grades may be the problem. This too can be tested for.
Also give yourself some slack C's and D's to my knowledge are not failing grades, F's are failing. To me this means you are comprehending some of what you are studying. It is possible that AP Wold Civics is more of a challenge than you expected. If you feel you are not up to the challenge; Talk to your parents about asking the school authorities about changing your class to general studies World Civics. Just a thought.
Most importantly is to ask that you be checked fro ADD or a learning disability. If you have none of the above, then think about changing your class assignment.
I'm a 16 year old girl and I've noticed my attraction to the same sex since I was 14. I'm also attracted to some guys too but that's usually so rare I find it hard to define myself as bisexual. Or lesbian. I'm just undefined right now I guess. Last year, I came out and told my dad and my step mother I had feelings for other females while driving in the car one day. They're strict Catholics and I knew that they'd give me all this shit about, "being gay is a sin" and "gay people are forever banished heaven" also "gay people can't create children therefore an abomination." I was prepared for all that mess. I have my own mind and challenge written/spoken authorities. I also believe that it's not a crime to appreciate the same sex by love. That's what makes sense to me, and they hate that and preach to me every day about it. "Thou must honor thy father and mother....etc"
To this day they bug me about being baptized into the church. After I told them about how I felt they preached to me and denied my feelings. They told me that I was just confused without god in my life and that once I found him and let him in then I would lose my sinful "thoughts." (Yes.....they actually refered to them as thoughts. As if I hadn't ever explored my feelings before in order to verify them myself.) Since then they've been setting me up on play-dates with some of their friends kids who are guys. I'm not allowed to have any girls come over to the house anymore, or guys. Anytime they catch me looking at a girl in anyway they find unsuitable they ignore it or steer me in the opposite direction. I'm forced to attend church twice a week and sing at the shitty ceremonies. And get this.....if they do catch me checking out a dude that I find attractive or if I say I find a guy attractive they automatically assume that I'm completely straight again! (Like I was ever completely straight)
I talked one on one with my dad last night and again brought up to him that i was interested in girls. He stared blankly at me and then kept talking about the previous subject that we were on as if I'd said nothing. When we got home, we came across the subject again this time with my step mother too. She yelled at me for about a half an hour about how women were put on this earth to be with a man and blah blah blah. I'm just sick of them telling me that I don't have feelings for women and I DO! Not that I don't have them for men to, but I'm more attracted to women. My parents can't truely and completely love me until they accept what and who I am. What can I say to make them understand that I DO have feelings for the same sex?
First: Stop having these conversation with your parents for now. They are not accepting of your feelings or what you feel is your sexual make up.
Second: At your present age I would not be in a rush to put a label on your sexuality. At sixteen you should be coming into your own sexually, but in your case I feel you may have been sheltered somewhat and you are just now starting to explore your sexuality.
Every teenager,male and female, is sexually curious about the opposite sex and same sex. Males are more homophobic then females thus more secretive in their exploration. Females find same sex exploration safer and thus more satisfying of the sexual urges teenagers have. This does not make them lesbians or even bi. One could say these girls are bu-curious. I would say they are just curious.
From what you have written I would say you are curious as you have not had the opportunity to explore. This does not mean have male/female sex or even female/female sex. You can explore your sexuality without actually having intercourse.
For now back off on the conversations with your parents. You need to find out just who your are sexually.Then you can have a discussion with your parents if you feel you need to.
Your sexuality is yours and no ones else. If you decide you are bi, bi-curious, lesbian or heterosexual that is your business. The fact that you want to discuss your sexuality with your parents is good. The problem is they are not willing to help you define your sexuality in any way other than heterosexual. This is wrong.
I am not a very religious person. I believe the Bible say says we are all made in God's image. To me this includes people of all colors and people of all sexual make up. Unfortunately your parents do not agree with me.