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Too soon to walk down the aisle?
I'm 18 years old and fresh into my first year of college. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly four years now. My boyfriend will be 19 next month. He's also fresh into college and he works full-time. Lately, we've been discussing marriage more and more. We truly desire to get engaged and married within the next year. Is 18/19 too young to be married? What all should we be considering?
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Four years is a long time to be together, especially at your age. So it's normal to be thinking, whats the next step?
Before you make any decisions, let me share some experience and some of my opinions with you.
It sounds like you two have been very serious and exclusive for a long time. Have either of you dated anyone else? Slept with anyone else? You may only desire to be with each other now, but do you really want him to be the only guy you've ever been with? Honestly, if you date another guy you will either realize that your current boyfriend is the one for you or that there is more out there that you want to experience. You don't want to one day be married with kids and regret not exploring your options.
My boyfriend's parents got married at age 18 and 20. Neither of them had an education or steady, well paying jobs. They lived together with their parents. Do you and your boyfriend have the funds to live on your own? And you realize that once you are married, your debts become combined? So if your husband goes bankrupt, it hurts your credit score. Are you prepared to make financial choices? That's why I think it is so much easier to get married after you graduate and have a steady job. Then there is less to worry about and things can progress gradually, you won't have to make a rash decision to get by.
My boyfriend's parents also got pregnant with their first child within their first year of marriage. They had to work crazy hours at odd jobs to get by, didn't live in a great area, and it was very tough. Don't jump into adulthood when you don't have to.
There is no harm in waiting longer to make this decision. I would live with each other before deicding to get engaged, and I would have a stable income and college degree.
There isn't a rush to get married, you have plenty of time. These days, people get married towards their late 20's. Do what is right for you two, and don't guess, be sure.
Good luck,
-Abby
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Legally you are both of age to marry without parental consent. Therefor you can if you wish marry. Several questions you should ask yourselves before you make a decision.
When you marry you form your own family with it comes your own responsibilities. The questions that need to be answered are.
1)If you marry will you both be able to finish college? Some parents see marriage as the end of their responsibility for things like college.
2) If the answer to question 1 is no in both instances, who is going to complete their education while the other works to support them. Are you sure that the one who gives up college now will not resent it later and will have the opportunity to complete college later.
3)While the working partner may be able to earn enough money for food, rent and other incidental it is doubtful there will be enough to cover tuition. This means upon graduation you will both be saddled with tens of thousands of dollars in college loans.
I could go on with this list but I think I have made my point. Right now your parents are footing the bill(S) for college. I see nothing wrong with a long engagement culminating upon graduation. You can celebrate graduation with a wedding and start married life on equal footing. My suggestions offers more success for your marriage as well as your career choices.
Just something to consider.
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