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about

:.Hey x3
My name is Emily and blah blah blah.

:.I have a lot of personal, family, and friend issues of my own so a lot of times, I can probably relate to you a lot of times if you have personal, family, and/or friend issues.

:.I can offer a lot of information, help, and advice on family and friend relationships, love lives, depression, stretching/flexibility, weight loss, violin, being organized, dog training, forensics (public speaking), keeping up with school/extracurricular activities, eating disorders, writing (stories and poems), and probably a lot of other random stuff like what to drink when you eat something spicy and why.

:.Although I can help a lot of you guys on the above subjects, I don't tend to take my own advice so it can become quite an awkward/ironic/contradicting situation for me or make myself sound like a complete and utter hypocrite.

:.Hannah Whitall Smith once said, "The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not, and never persist in trying to set people right." I agree 100% of it. Advice is advice and it is given when asked for. I give it and I leave it at that. It's up to the questioner/advice seeker to take it.

:.That point leads onto my philosophies in advice giving:
1. Advice is given when asked and no time else, unless your friend is about to irritate a black bear, then you should definitely advice your friend to back away and run for his or her life.
2. Advice is not critical, not judgmental, and definitely not biased. Advice is advice and should remain neutral.
3. Advice is to help, not to get 5s on every answer. As a result, my advice ends up being quite blunt and frank with a hint of rambling mixed in.

If you have general questions on the topics I can be a lot of help in (as listed above), most likely, they will be in my FORUM

If it is not, you can inbox me to request me to put it up.

:.If you want to ask me a question directly...
a)if it is not urgent and can wait a week or so, inbox me.
b)if it is an urgent question such as "I'm being eaten by a shark! What do I do???" first of all, I'm quite amazed that you can type while being eaten and second of all, e-mail me at cancel.life@gmail.com. I will answer you by midnight of that day (or if it's 11:55PM, probably by 3PM the following day).

advice

15/f

When a guy asks you to see a movie, does that necessarily mean it is a date? What if he is bringing one of his friends but doesn't care if you bring someone?

I suppose I am going to get different answers, but I'm sure there must be a way to figure it out.

Thanks! =)

Theres a possibility that he likes you.
Considering the fact that he's brining his friendand you're brining yours, he probably wants to get to know you a little bit better before making a move or try to figure out how you feel towards him.

It doesn't mean a date by the way.

how can i hide my anorexia from my parents?

Dear, no one on this site is going to help you hide your anorexia. This site is for HELP in a good way..not help someone destroy herself over society's demands.

Anorexia is a serious disease and diagnosing yourself with it is a huge thing. I'm not going to go on about wannaberexics. I'm going to lecture you on this: 1 out of every 100 women suffer from anorexia. 20% of them without help die from anorexia nervosa. Don't let yourself be that 1 out of the 100.

There is no way to hide it from your parents. Mood swings, depression, tiredness, lack of concentration may trigger something but they may think that because your hormones and school. But when that continues on, they're going to suspect something. And losing weight dramatically to an unhealthy level is not possible to keep a secret.

Why don't you just save yourself from causing your family pain form seeing yourself starve yourself, suffer physical and mental damage, and having to go to a counslor to talk to and just stop now. Just don't do it. It's not worth it. Trust me.

All right, my friend and her boyfriend (they're both 16) have been going out for about 8 months now, and neither I nor my friends have seen much of her at all. Honestly, we get to talk to her for more than 5 minutes about once every couple weeks, and it's really getting us all down. We've tried talking to her, but it's practically impossible because she gets defensive and then drags us into an argument, instead of talking and understanding. I understand that now she's got a boyfriend who she cares about we're not going to see as much of her, but it's been taken to an extreme.

I just really don't know what to do about it. I'm really close to her, and it's getting me and my friends down. We don't want to lose her, but it's frustrating that she's dropped us for a boy.

Eh, it will wear down soon. Teenage girls can go without firneds for only so long.

You should make a list of how often she is with her boyfriend. This sounds stalkerish but just do it. Record how often they're together. Then make a list of how often she spent time wwith you and friends. Compare them and show her the big difference

Also, plan like a whole weekend dedicated just to you, her, and friends. No boyfriend! Say it's a girl's night out and if she says she's busy with her boyfriend, dramatically say "When are you not with your boyfriend!!"

Is it true that My Chemical Romance is a band that promotes/worships Satan?

No way dude.
They don't promote or worship Satan.
If they did, I'd know about it
Because I know up to every detail there is to know about them on the nets.

15/f. Since probably elementary school, I've had "depressed" periods and overly happy periods. I feel a depression coming on. They usually come after a happy period. I usually get one when I feel like my friends don't like me or I just feel like people don't like me in general, or when I feel like my parents nag me too much, or even not being in a musical or performance for a while can do it. Little things can trigger it. Is there something wrong with me? Can I do anything to make it milder? I hate feeling this way.

Eh, you're 15. We're teenagers which always always ALWAYS equals in emotional bitches. Haha, cruel but true.

Outside influences seem to have a lot of effect on us and it pretty much sucks. Just listen to music you like..not necessarily music that sounds all happy and crap. It could be Trivium for petes sake. haha. Just listen to music you like and you can sing like a moron to. Write down whatever you're feeling...draw, kcik a ball, punch your pillow. Haha or just cry it out. I know, trite, but it works.

Also when you're feeling down, think of happy thoughts =]

ps. music I listen to that kinda cheers me up are headfirst for halos , i'm not okay, famous last words, all by mcr

Ok this will sound weird but how do you get rid of constapation... lol and how to predent it thank you in advance

There are many reasons why you get constipated. Erm, Activia, I heard, is good for it. Eat lots of veggies and fruits because it may help you with your constipation. There are also products out there that are designated to relieve you from constapation.

But an easy way is to exercise regularly, eat lots of fruits and veggies and you should be good to go dear. =]

alright

well my girlfriend's best friend told me last night that my girlfriend is grounded for 4 months and isn't allowed to see/talk to me for who knows how long. 1- i don't know why i got brought into this- she's grounded for using her neighbors wireless internet to talk on aim when she's not supposed to use aim, and 2- what should i do? i care for her WAAAYY too much to just say "hey, you fucked up, so now i'm dumping you"- i don't want to dump her. i absolutely love her, and she's amazing and beautiful and sweet, but if i can't see her or talk to her, how are we going to have a meaningful relationship? i'm very perplexed by the whole thing...

I assume you guys go to the same school, oui? There you go. Talk to her during school and whatever. Give her notes before she goes home. Send her an email every week for 4months so when she's ungrounded she'll have ___amount of emails from you. Haha. Send her a letter through the mail that is. Old, trite, boring, strenuous, but uber awesome =] Plus letters are sweet. But make sure she checks the mail everydayy...

Whenever I have my period, its always really heavy.
So this week I'm going to a dance convention which is like 10 hours away. I'll be there for 4 days
My first question is: how many pads should I pack?
2nd question is: When I'm dancing, I always feel uncomfortable on my period.
3rd question: Since tampons dont work for me yet, what kind of pad should i use?

thank youuu

10 hours--I'd pack 4 with me just in case.
4 days--I'd bring the whole pack and a half along with me. haha, i'd rather bring too much than leak somewhere sometime.

Tampons, I'd say, would be the number 1 choice but since you're not used to them, make sure you get a pad with wings on them. When you're dancing, use a regular or light one that is extra long just you can have a little assurance of it not leaking in the back or the front. Stayfree is the best kind, in my opinion, so get any of these:
Green regular for moderate
Green long for light
Orange for night/moderate to light
Orange for night--light extra long

Sorry, I don't know the exact names but either get the orange ones or the green ones. Regular or heavy..or light if that feels more comfortable and make sure its extra long.

okay.
i'm doing a paper on teenage stress.
more focused "how teenage stress relates to teen drug and alocohol abuse"
meaning, do we drink when stressed.

& id like to do a simple, anonymous survey @ school. just type a paper, with all yes/no or 'fill in the bubble' questions.

k, here's where you come in
one] do you think this is a good idea
& two] what sort of questons should i put

i was thinking something like
when feeling stressed, do you have have an urge to drink alcohol; yes/no
& then they can circle one, you know?

any help would be great ! thanks :]

1. Do you think that drug use and drinking will help deal with your stress?

2. Have you often turned your thoughts to drugs or alcohol when you're stressed?

3. Have you been tempted to try drugs or alcohol when you were often under stress?

4. Do you know anyone of your friends that turns to drugs and alcohol for stresss relief.

A few years ago i went away to a ball camp held by a local college, that had the players as the actual camp counselors.
To this day she still plays ball, but she is a senior now, and they only have about 4 home games left. I email her sometimes, and i meet up with her after the games to just catch up, but its not that often.

~~~The Prob~~~
I think that im in love with this woman! I even broke up with my girlfriend of almost 1 1/2 because of the way i feel about her... the thing is, i dont even think she has a clue. Everytime I seee her I think about telling her how I feel, but age, sexual orientation (yes im gay) they all play a factor in this. Like i said, she only has a few home games left, and I dont know if I should tell her, or just go through life not knowing the answers to anything!

Someone plz give any advice!

If you just sit there and wonder the "if's" and "if i've done that" or "this might've..." it's not gonna get you anywhere dear.

It's hard to ask a girl out when you're a girl because you never know what response you're going to get especially if you don't know the orientation of the person you're going to ask out. Do you know if she's bi or not or lez or not? (age would've helped..for you that is)

Just get a fake screen name, ask her what her sexual orientation is and if she doesn't reply to that, add in the "i'm a girl and i like you." part without your name. See how see reacts to that. If she's bi or lez, ASK HER OUT. If she isn't, ehh you can't really force her to turn bi or lez so ..hmm.

Hi. I'm 14 years old and a female. I have gone to the same camp for years. Everyone basis how good their experience was during the summer on how far they went and with how many people. I too, took part of this. I hooked up with six people and gave one of them head and hand, but everyone did that. I ended up pissing off the wrong people and they called me a whore despite the fact that many had done the same thing. I left camp and it was rumored that I got kicked out. Now, when I went back to school, they got a lot of people who weren't even there and have created their own elaborate versions of the story and are mean to me. They openly talk about it during class even in front of the teacher during my presentations and such. I now know what I did was wrong but how can I get people to stop?

First thing I'm gonna have to say is that your teachers are idiots for not hearing/stopping all these conversations going on in class.

You know that going around from guy to guy was wrong and YOU know it and that's really all that matters. I know really trite and corny answer. Hmm, yet again I seem to use thse 2 quotes.

"Be yourself. Don't take anyone's shit and never let them get you alive." Gerard Way
"No one can make you feel inferior without your permission." Eleanor Roosevelt.

Keep your head up hide and don't seclude yourself or walk away ashamed because you're just letting them confirm their little chit chats. The next time you hear something about you being a slut, go up to them and say "Were you at the camp? (If they were): Then you should know better that everyone took part in this and secluding me from doing what everyone else did doesn't make much sense. (If they weren't) No you weren't. You don't even know what you're talking about and enjoying repeating other's words that are false just proves how pathetic your life is."

Or just point out that what they're saying is called a R-U-M-O-R and that rumors have no basis for facts and they have no clue as to what the hell they're saying. They should really get over themselves and the stupid words and move on with their lives instead of trying to make someone else's life miserable just to boost their little self confidence up.

My boyfriend & I had sex unprotected. We didn't use a condom because he said he can control himself and it was only for a few minutes so that it wouldn't happen. I just got off my period the day before.. is there any chance of me getting pregnant? I also heard somewhere that smoking weed affects sperm count or whatever.. and he does weed & drinks. Does that lower the chance any? I'm not wanting to get pregnant by the way, I'm just wondering so I can know if I will or not. Thanks.

Drinking and smoking weed decreases your chances by a little. But even if he didn't come, there's still a slight chance of sperm being on his pre-cum. Its unlikely but there's still a chance and it's possible that you might get pregnant but rare.

14/F

(sry this is so long)

hi!!, okay, so, im really shy when it comes to guys. especially with this one in particular. we are in the same english class and are sort of friends. we WERE in the same studyhall peer group (where seniors come and hang out with us freshman and just hang out during our free time in studyhall), but now that the semester is over, he's switching into a new class, and we will no longer have studyhall or peer group together. (we will still have english togehter though!) i REALLLLLLLLY want to ask him to turnabout/sadie hawkens dance, but i'm WAY TO SCARED!! :( your probably wondering what the real issue is, but there are two HUGE ONES...

in peer group, we did this activity, and we just had to answer honestly and then share our answers with the group. the question was: what is one thing that you will never forget? his answer was this girl at his old jr. high. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??? does he still like her, is he dating her? i just can't seem to figure this out.

the other issue is that for homecoming, he didn't ask anybody because #1, he's shy also, but more importantly, #2, he doesn't like dances. this is the big dilema. i can't seem to figure out if he said this because he truely doesn't like dances, or was just to shy to ask someone.

i would really like someone's opinion on this (guys also please) on what to do. if i ask him, its gotta be soon becuase the dance is in about 3 weeks.

(if i do end up askin this guy, and he says no, or i just chicken out, i have an alternative guy to ask, that wants me to ask him) is using this guy as a fall back slash backup a bad thing??

thanks so much, and again, im so sorry this is so long.

Okay, when he said "This girl at his old jr high" he meant that the girl he was thinking about was and is still special to him. There's not much chance that he'd be still going out with her. She may have been his bff or an old gf. Who knows? He probably thinks of ehr as special but I don't know if he still has feelings for her or not. And don'tworry about it.

Next, write down your "Wanna go with me?" question on a piece of paper. Write:
Just wanted to know if you'd like to go to the dance with me. And don't say you won't because you can't dane or don't like the dances because I can't dance either and the dances are a blast and how would you know if they're fun or not if you don't go to them? *smiley face* It'll be awesome, I promise soo will you say yes or no? (Preferably a yes? =P)

Or something like that. Give it to him the last time you'll see him before the weekends. Like if he's in your last class on Friday, give it to him then so he can think about it over the weekend.

And if he turns you down, go to the other guy that wants to go out with you. It's not a bad thing. It's called using your resources wisely...

Haha

13/f

ok well i was beset friends with this girl last year...we'll call her sally. well over the summer sally and i got in a huge fight where she basicly dumped me as a best friend. i got over it (i mean a best friend who would just dump you isnt that hard to get over) and you know we're still like ok friends. like were in teh same group of friends and we dont hate each other (sometimes). she keeps changing her mind bout me, like one minute she'll be all like "i miss you" and the next she'll be telling everyone she hates me (i kind of do the same). Its been calm between us for like 2 months now though. well yesterday she called me (for the first time in months) and just asked if i wanted to come over (for the first time in six months). I was like um sure. I thought it would be really awkward, but it was kind of like comfortable. i just could walk in her fridge and get a glass of juice. she's been hanging out with these two other girls a lot lately so i guess you could consider those her "best friends" and i have two new "best friends" also, but it was just so random and i dont know what to make of it. it's not like i'd run back to her after what she did, but i didnt hate hanging out with her yesterday. it's so confusing. someone please help me!
thanks!

Your friendship is history. Okay, get over it. She dumped you and you got over it without much sorrow. You have new friends she has new friends. Being best friends again won't work out that well considering that fact that it's most likely to end with another huge argument. So just be her friend but focus all your friendship more on your two new friends

OK me and my boyfriend have known each other for a very very very long time and have always been best friends. We started going steady this year and it is working out very well... and we love each other VERY MUCH! But we are only in the 7th grade and we are only 13 and i dont know if we will be able to last for a long time..
DO yall think we will be able to last???????

Well, transitioning from being bff's to bf and gf is pretty awkward. No one can tell you if it will last or not because no one knows what will go on between now and in the future.

But don't fall for him so deeply. You guys are only 13 and it's a little to far ahead to be thinking of the future.

Just enjoy what time you have with him now and savior every minute of it. Don't be too persistent or clingy and such stuff..

But here's a positive information: my friend Heather has been going out with John since 6th grade and they still are...after 3yrs.

ok well me and my boyfriend are both in grade 8 and we have been going out for almost a year and we have been fighting over alot of stuff lately. He always says its my fault and Ill admit to it sometimes. But when im alone with him were not angry and im fine. He keeps saying im boring at school or dont give him enough attention. We are together all the time so sometimes I talk and I cant help but flirt sometimes and he gets really mad. But he also gets mad all the time about it and he likes to fool around alot like taking really stupid picturtes of himself or poking me all day. Its very annoying. I still love him please help!

I'm not gonna get into the whole "I still love him please help!" statement.

Ask him if anythings bothering him right now because it seems like he's letting out his anger on you. Ask him that and tell him that you feel like lately it's been nothing but yelling and fighting. (If you guys yell that is XD)

And he does have the right to be a little mad at you if yo flirt with some other guy while you have a bf right there....but talking..?

Just tell him that he needs to cool down and not get angry so much because you'd rather be in peace with him than fight with him all the time. And that if he can't resolve things without getting mad, threaten him with a break up or a "let's take some time off" statement

well my boyfriend is in 8th grade and i'm in 7th. but were both thirteen. we've been dating for almost 4 months now but i've been getting kinda bored with him. i don't know. lately everything just seems sort of dull. like before, when ever i would get a text message i would stop wat i was doing and look right away to see who it is and what it say. but lately i've been just like kay whatever, i'm going to finish what i was doing before i look at it. and also before i was always excited and anxious to make plans with him but lately i couldnt care less if we made plans or not. i'm always just like kay, whatever. don't really matter.. and its not that i met someone new or anything, i just also feel like i'm loosing patience with him and some of my feelings for him. my best friend yesterday told me he went out and bought condoms recently so last night when me and him were texting i didn't let him know that i knew but i told him that i wanted to start over with him and slow things down even though we weren't moving fast, i just wanted to move a few notches slower and start over. and kept asking me why and stuff and i didn't want to tell him that i knew so i lied and came up with the excuse that i didn't want to do anything that would ruin me and him or become part of our relationship no matter what it was besides hugs and kisses. and he was like asking me a billion questions about it and the one answer i can come up with, i don't want to tell him and that is that i don't want to start to do something and then have it lead farther on because i know that it always leads up to sex and i don't want to have sex at 13. i want to keep my virginity for awhile. and i already told him that once and he said he was okay with that and he would wait until i'm ready, but the truth is is i want to just act as boyfriend and girlfriend all the time with him like holding hands and him putting his arms around me like he always does but not do anything more than that. if you know what i mean. please, any advice would be helpful!

Okay, first of all, although she is your best friend, don't rely on what goes on about another person unless it came directly from that person. For all you know, this could be a part of a rumor she's heard.

Also, it seems like you made it clear to your bf that you don't want to go too fast or have sex right away so that's a good thing. If he's persistent, threaten to break up with him and if he does, then it's his lose and you'll know that he only wanted sex.

Also, boyfriends are not just some thing you get happy about then throw away when you're dull sooo you try and make some fun from it, oui? Haha, okay. Soo why don't you guys go ice skating (if it's cold where you guys live) or rollerskating at a rink? Ask if you guys can go to an amusment park (that's always fun) Or ask your friends who are going out with other guys what they do for fun and do that..if its possible. Or even just have a little party and invite your bf and your friends and some of his and just hang out and play some games and have fun

I have bad acne all on my forehead and chin and nose. It's really embarrasing and I don't want to go to school tommorow because i'm always scared to look at or talk to people because i think there thinking that it's really gross or they might make fun of me. and to make it worse im in speech and we have to get infront of the class allot and talk. im going to the dermatologist but i dont think im going to survive the weeks it will take for me to get clear skin. :(

Well, no one's going to look at you and grossed out or make fun of you. If they do, that's their problem and they're being immature.

Dermatologist--they give you products and depending on what it is, it was fantabulously (I only know one that works which is an oral medication. Starts with an A...I forgot) But remember, these products are addictive and as soon as you stop using them, your acne will break out and your skin and pores will be damaged from such harsh effects of the medications.

Don't put on make up to conceal it..if that's what you're planning to do because it will just make it worse. Don't try to hide it with hair falling over your face because the dirt and oil from your air will make it worse too...

Use Neutrogena's Clear Pore Cleanser/Mask. Use it day and night, and make sure you have some lotion (that won't clog pores/oil free) or a toner (I use Neutrogena Toner (alcohol free) It's in a blue bottle) Take a shower at night and put the Clear Pore on your face like a mask. Leave it on there for 2-3min and wash it off and proceed wiht your shower. In the mornings use it as a cleanser. That's what I did and I got really sweet results pretty quickly. (I think it was quicker than dermatologist stuff without all that dry red irritated skin)

is there anyway to shrink? Because I'm 6'1 and i'm only a freshman. and i'm too tall for all the boys in my grade. so, how do you shrink??

You can..surgically...

There's not way to "shrink" yourself unless you want to slouch and get a horrible posture.

Just wait...I wanna be tall because EVERYONE is taller than me. So heh. Chillax. It's cool to be tall and soon guys will be taller than you

So, I'm attempting at writing a book, and I was wondering opinions on this subject..

I have three main characters, and this story is supposed to be a romantic drama kind of thing. I'd like one of the characters to be the one to tell the story, but she ends up dying towards the middle. I was thinking I could switch around with point of views, either that, or switch once the girl dies.. but I'm not sure.
I don't like telling from the author's point of view, but I know it gives more chance to describe more...

Any help is appreciated on when you think I should do. =)

Okay, do this.

Start off with the girl's name (the one who dies) on the top of the first page. In bold large font so it stands out. When she dies, again in the same large bold font, write the other character's name.

Or when the girl who dies tells the story, let it be like a prelude to the story and let the actual story take place through the other character's view.

ORRR haha, let the story take place from all character's view. Like switch from character to character telling from each view..and with as I said seperating chraracters with bold large fonts.

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