Gender:
MaleMember Since:
June 18, 2009Answers:
8136Last Update:
May 26, 2019Visitors:
139838Favorite Columnists
karenR
AyyItsKristen
Erinn_the_bamf
Xui
storageanddisposal
lvr
Smartone
bewise
GradingCurve
anonymous99
HildaJrCarter
more...
Main Categories:
General Sex Questions
Abusive Relationships
Cooking
View All
about
My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
Okay I'm 15 and to be honest I've about had enough of this. My mother is another story.Yes i love her but sometimes wow! I just wanna go to sleep for hours sometimes and not wake up. She has parental controls on almost everything! my phone now included because my friend accidentally was messing around and mentioned drugs in one of our txting conversations. My mom freaked when she read it and took my phone away. And my friend is no drug addict she is such a wimp i doubt she would but i havent told my mom yet. Also my ipod got taken away because i let some dude friends of mine use it and well they did some bad stuff on the internet and ya.. so they didnt close then window or erase thier history and my mom saw it and again freaked out!she thought it was me! and thinks im lying!! and kept it who then gave it to my father!!! and once i was watching the E! on tv watching the kardashians and of course she freaked and put locks on the tv. So my mother will not compromise im not sure what to say? Also now shes having trust issues with me about all that! so i need help with that to and to help her understand my side! because she will listen to what i have to say but she doesnt keep it in mind at all! also what do i do if she hates my friend i was talking about what do i do with that to?! Help!
solidadvice4teens has given you some good advise. You have been a little careless with the things you own. By careless I mean allowing others to use your things to do as they please knowing your mother is going to look at them and get upset if she finds things on there that she does not want you into.
As a parent I would say; even if you came to me and told me that what I found on your iPod and phone were from others using them. I might have some trust issues with you as well, especially with the people you pick as friends. Don't take that the way it sounds. I may trust you but I am going to have some strong feelings that your friends could, as we parents say, lead you down the garden path. That by association you could get in trouble. This may be because I do not know them.
On the other side of the coin your friends may be as trustworthy and honest as you are. Their parents may be as controlling as she is. Since you have had unfettered access to the Internet with you phone and iPod they could be using yours to access what they can't just to see what they are missing. I don't know this,mom doesn't know this, we/I can only judge by what is seen.
Now that is what I see from your writing. I could be entirely wrong in my impression of your parents attempts to protect you and their style of child raising. How I raised my children or how your parents raise you can be entirely different. Fact is neither of us can be right or wrong. As I like to say, "it is unfortunate that children don't come with handbooks;" as parents we learn on the job. So will you when the time comes.
So how to defuse the situation with your mom and you. First: If your mom hatted you she would not care enough to try and protect you. So lets put that one to bed right now; your mom cares very much. What you have to do is gain your parents trust, show them that you are not careless and that your friends are not a bunch of hooligans.
I would suggest that you first sit down with your mother and acknowledge that you have been careless with your things. That you have allowed others to use them without supervising what they look at or how they use them.
Tell mom in the future you will strictly restrict who & how you will allow others to use your things in the future. While doing so explain to her that while your friends may have been using your things it was not true carelessness as in you were not aware they were using them. Just you were not aware of what they were doing, you always knew who had your things. In the future you will restrict the usage as well if your are allowed to have them back unfettered.
While you are calmly talking to mom explain to her that your in high school now and that the social life in high school is different and that you need the opportunity to grow with the expanding world you now face. You need the opportunity to learn and to make some mistakes on your own. To learn from those mistakes with her and dad there to help you when you do make mistakes. That every mistake does, at your age warrant a punishment instead should be seen as opportunity to learn from it with their guidance.
This is the best advice I can offer you. Calmly talking and explaining to your parents that your growing up and needing to experience thing, to make mistakes and learn from them with their guidance and not necessarily punishment will help you grow and mature.
19 F
I really don't know how I got to this point, where I had to buy a pregnancy test. I've never really been a rebel, in fact I'm a good kid was a virgin until 2 weeks ago. I guess I got too carried away when my parents gave me liberty and let me sleep over my friends house whose brother is my boyfriend..bad idea. We ended up having sex. 2 times. Unprotected.( I know, I know that was stupid!) He said he never cummed inside of me, but precum can get you pregnant. I got my period last month sept 13. And its the 18th and it still hasn't come. I took a pregnancy test (E.P.T.) With my friend (she helped me, because I know nothing about stuff like this) and it came out negative . So I was off course thrilled. But that was 3 days go. And now its the 18th and I still haven't gotten my period. I'm extremely nervous. The way I took it was I peed on a cup, then put the EPT stick inside and waited 2 mins. It came out negative. I mean could my period just be irregular? Wat are some early pregnancy signs?
Something that scared me so much was what my mom told me this morning. She said she had a horrible dream that I had a baby. And she followed it with "I know that wouldn't happen, I have such a good daughter" go figure. I really hope that's just a coincidence. I pray that it is. Please don't say go to the doctor because my mom has my insurance and she will suspect if I just ask for it. Also, If I am pregnant (which I pray I am not) I heard there is a pill you can take if its early enough? How much is it? Ahh!! I'm so nervous and scared. Please any information would help me. Thank you.
First take another pregnancy test with a different test kit, just in case the first one was to early or the first one was wrong. If the second one is negative then you are probably safe. If the second on is positive go to a doctor for a blood test. Most likely your period is late do to stressing over possible pregnancy. This would be normal.
At 19 you are legally an adult and can visit any doctor you chose without your mothers permission or her accompanying you to the doctor or demanding to be present while you are being examined. As an adult your medical information is confidential. Neither your mother, father, siblings, lawyers or anyone else cannot see them without your written permission.
Your medical privacy is covered under Federal Law known as HIPPA; Health Information Personal Privacy Act. Every time you visit a new doctor they will have you sign a HIPPA advice form which states in part that they gave you a copy of their offices policy in regard to HIPPA. When you turned 18 your family doctor should have done so. If you don't remember signing one ask for one.
Also if you are still seeing the same doctor you saw as a minor give them a note which states that you are now a legal adult and consider you medical information private not to be shared with anyone including family members without your written consent.
Now you can visit any doctor or clinic, using mom or dads health insurance, without having to disclose why you went or what you were treated for. You can request birth control medication or devices without parental consent and could have done so since you were 14.
The Explanation of Benefits that is sent home by the insurance company only says you saw Doctor so and so on such and such date. The cost of the visit is listed and what was paid is shown as well as any co-pay they may have been paid or due. If there is any reference to what the visit was for it is Office visit and codes that there is no explanation for as this would be a violation of privacy.
I know this was long but I wanted to stress the fact that you are and adult and have adult privileges and privacy. How that privacy is safe guarded especially for medical information. So stop stressing and see a doctor and get a definitive answer. Then if you are not pregnant consider asking for birth control.
My upper farthest back tooth is infected really bad and my dentist says I have to either do a root canal or get it pulled out. My insurance isn't that great and I don't have a lot of extra money to spend on it. I'd have to put it all on credit cards. Just trying to get some peoples opinions! What should I do?!
Root Canal is a surgical procedure as is an extraction. As with any surgical procedure there are risks. You need to weigh the risks of any surgery against the benefits. Speak with your dentist and get all the options, pros and cons. Then decide.
As to payment. Let the dentist know you do not have insurance. Many dentists will give you a reduced rate since they do not have the overhead expense of working with the insurance company. Also ask the dentist if payment plans are available. Many dentists have zero interest payment plans that give you 6 months to a year to make payments at zero interest.
I have had several root Canals with no problems and little too no pain. One tooth was even infected, still there was no pain. The crown afterwards fit well and you don't even know it is there. Much better than a bridge which would come later if you have to many extractions rather than root canals when needed and options.
Umm...where do i start? Well im tweleve and Im a male. I have a boy friend who is 12 too (and yes im gay.) I love the sex but I don't know if I should stop or not. And is it okay to be gay?
At 12 years old you are too young to be having sex, gay or other wise. While it is possible that you are gay, it is more likely that you are experimenting as most boys your age do. Your really to young to put a label on your sexuality. Given peoples reaction to people who announce they are gay I would also suggest you keep your sex life private until your much, much older and out of school.
It is not unusual for boys and girls to have their first sexual encounters, at young ages, with people of the same sex. For one thing it is safer than trying it with a girl as frankly most boys your age don't know how to approach a girl on matters of sex. Sure some boys at school may talk about it but that is what it is talk. Same sex, sex helps you explore and learn about how you work before you start exploring the opposite sex.
I am not sure if any survey has bin done on this subject though I would not be surprised if the results showed that most males experienced gay sex in the early teens. Most girls I believe will respond that they have and may have continued through college even though they will now say they are strictly straight.
So while it is very possible you are gay. Wait awhile before you make that a final decision on your sexuality. Chances are better than 50/50 you are merely experimenting.
Two weeks ago when I was in school the stairs were wet and I slipped and landed on my upper back. I say slipped but I really mean I fell straight on my back and really hurt it. I didn't hit my head so that was good. But I did hurt my back really bad but my parents still won't take me to the hospital or at least the doctors. They just tell me it's not that bad and to stick it out. I know that if that happened to anyone elses kid they would take them to the hospital. I'm still in pain and they won't. The sport that I do really works the upper back especially the special part I play so it hurts sooooo bad. Should I just try to stick it out and in 6 months it still hurts then it's obviously not a bruise or should I try again with my parents? I just don't know what to do.
Zane's advice is good. If you visit the school nurse and he/she feels you should see a doctor they will call for the paramedics.
If you are over 14 you do not need parental permission to see a doctor. You can pick up the phone and dial 911, actually you don't have to be 14 to do that. But if you are over 14 you can visit a doctor or go to the hospital on your own by law. The law is called HIPPA.
Can't get to a doctor or hospital on your own. The call 911 or go to the nearest police or fire station. Visiting the school nurse is the best option as falling in school places them in a position of liability and they will want to have you seen by a doctor.
My vagina smells disgusting. I'm clean, I shower everyday but it seems like an hour after I shower the smell just comes right back and its really strong i can smell it through my pants and it leaves my pants smelling gross and I can smell it throughout the day and it makes me feel so self-conscious. I know vaginas aren't supposed to smell like roses but mine is just out of control. I know there's douching but I heard that causes infections. Is there anything I can do?
Being a male I'm not sure how I can help you. What I can tell you is that douching is not the answer as it upsets the natural pH of your vagina. This can lead to things such as yeast infections and the like.
Some women do have strong vaginal odors. It is their natural scent. In today's society we put to much emphasis on these scents being offensive. When in reality they are designed to help attract a mate. That being said I would suggest you look at the different feminine hygiene deodorants on the market available in the pharmacy departments of most big box stores or your local pharmacy.
I will make one other suggestion to you. If as I suspect you are a teenager; for questions such as this one which are not truly sexual question, but deal with your vagina or breasts. You best source of information will always be your mother. There is nothing in this question to be embarrassed about. Body odor, even from your vagina is a natural function of your body. Talking to your mom will tell you if this is a family trait or if she feels this is something that might be wise to see a GYN about.
We are strangers we don't know you and can only offer generic advise. Cultural and family history play a large part in who and what we are. This includes what are bodies are like. So questions such as these are always best answered by mom or an older female member of your family if mom is not available.
While I'm at it if you have not yet seen a GYN and you have already started your periods; you should start having yearly GYN check ups.
what occurs when a person is being raped
There are several different types of rape. One thing rape has in common is the lack of consent of one party.
While men can be raped by a women, the most likely targets of rape are women so I will use women in my explanation.
One of the most common forms of rape has to with the inability of a women to give consent. The is usually referred to as Date Rape. An example of date rape is a women gets drunk and her date or acquaintance takes her up to his room and has sex with her. She wakes up the next morning and finds herself in bed with him, realizes that they had sexual relations that night. She doesn't remember anything, doesn't remember consenting and never would have consent to having sex with him. She has been raped. Just because she may not have said no does not mean she consented. She was unable to legally consent.
A person that is intoxicated to the point of being incapable of giving consent cannot give consent. In the past a boy could bring a room full of witnesses into a court room to testify to her consent or initiation to sex and he would get off. That has changed. She has to meet the legal definition of being able to give consent. Drunk or sober he had to realize the fact that she is too drunk to give consent.
Then their is statutory rape: If a women is below that age of consent and the boy is more than 3 to 4 years older than her. Depending on the laws in that state the boy can be charged with statutory rape and other offenses. A girl below the age of consent cannot legally consent to sex. Statutory rape does not mean sex occurred either. Just that these two are together and she is to young to consent could bring the charge of statutory rape.
The their is forcible rape which is self explanatory. No consent is given. The women is over powered by the male and raped.
Then there is the Mann Act: The Mann act is not exactly Rape but it may as well be. The Mann act has to do with taking a child, someone under the age of consent or a women against her will across state lines for the purpose of immoral acts. The term immoral acts is so vague that sex does not have to actually take place for this charge to be levied. The Mann act is a Federal Law.
If any of this has happened to you call the police and report what has happened. Then for your own self interest call the rape hotline 1-8220-656-4673(HOPE). This is a 24/7 hotline maned by professional volunteers who will help you find people in your community to help you deal with this.
Rape is not something that can just forget about and moved on. It will come back to haunt the victim. Getting help when and if rape happens will allow the victim to hopefully live a good life afterwards.
Okay, I'm just going to start off by saying that this will be a little long so please bear with me :) Oh and this might seem totally materialistic and shallow but I can't help it, its really a problem for me.
I'm 14 and I'm seriously depressed. Here's the problem: I'm poor.. Not 'can't eat three meals a day' poor. Just 'can't afford a car' poor. Like middle class. Not that I care much about these things but everyone at my school does. My dad gets like a very normal salary but that's not enough so my mom has to work too. Together they put enough money for me to go this really good school. The thing is, the school fee is REALLY high, for people like me I mean. So only rich kids go there. So my parents own like this little apartment where we live, and they can buy me fancy clothes and stuff (not branded but not that its a problem) and we can eat out once in a while. But we just can't afford a car. And that's why I have no friends at school. Everyone there is rich, and has a car. I'm not and I can't afford one. So all my classmates are really mean to me. They don't talk much about money but that's why they don't like me. Shallow, I know, but what can I do? The guys totally ignore me and when they talk they're really mean. The girls act like they're my friends but they bitch about me all the time and they only call me when they need something done. I try so hard to fit in but I'm afraid I never will.. I can't become rich just to get friends. That wouldn't be real friendship. Is money all that matters? If so, will I always be alone in life? I'm sure I'll never ever get a boyfriend but I reaally want a friend :( And since I'm focusing so much on this my grades are dropping.. I used to top the class but now these mean girls do. I'm afraid I'm letting my parents down now too.. what do I do? Please don't make rude comments, reply to me only if you really want to help. Thanks in advance :)
Let me first say I'm an adult of retirement age. I tell you this so you will have a better understanding of what I'm saying.
First to heck with the snotty rich kids. They are not rich, their parents are. Someday they are going to have to go out on their own and want everything they had as a child. They will dig themselves a financial hole so deep they won't be able to climb out of it.
You on the other hand understand what the value of a dollar means. Your parents are working hard to put you in a private school and hopefully a good college after high school. They are doing this so you can have a better life later then they are able to provide now.
It is the hope and dream of every parent to provide for the children in a manner that allows for their children to have a better life then they have. You and your parents are living that dream.
I know what it is like to go to a school where you have few real friends. The only thing I can tell you, and it won't mean much now, is that these kids in school will never be life long friends. After high school you will all go your seperate ways. In college you will make some real friends as your studies will provide a common ground based on interest rather than a common generic course of studies as in primary school.
Once you complete your education you will be able to go out in the world and make your own way in it. Hopefully the economic situation will be better than it is today and you will find a good paying job that allows you to have all the things your parents sacrificed for. So that you could get a good education.
Your private school is being paid for by your parents sacrifices. One such sacrifice is the car you speak of. Even if the car was paid for in total the cost of insurance, fuel and upkeep is probably half the cost of your tuition.
I know your depressed about the material things your missing and lack of friends at school. Make friends at home. Be thankful you have loving parents who are not materialistic and willing to make sacrifices so you can have a better start in the world. Take full advantage of what they are doing for you and get good grades. Tell your parents you love them and thank them for their sacrifices.
I went to a physician and they told me I had trich. I told my girlfiend and she went to the doctor and they told her she dont have any traces of a std. We have sex on a regular basis. What could be the issue?
I did some research for you : Below are some of the things I found and are direct lifts from different websites I found that I felt would help you understand the how. I also provide a link to one of the websites I found.
Should you have more questions, use a search engine and just type in your question. That is how I found this information.
The human genital tract is the only reservoir for this species. Trichomoniasis is transmitted through sexual or genital contact.[5] Although internet searches may yield common theories of transmission from objects (e.g. toilet seats, towels), they have not been reliably established.
(This also means it can't be dicounted)
Symptoms
Trichomoniasis infection frequently has no symptoms. There have been rare cases where the incubation period of the infection has covered years, but usually symptoms appear within 4-20 days of exposure, and include: ( This means your girlfriend may have to be checked again after a waiting period.)
http://www.cdc.gov/std/trichomonas/stats.htm
My boyfriend have been dating for about two months now, and usually I wait to have sex, but he and I have been best friends for so long, that I'm totally comfortable and feel safe with him, and we decided to have sex on Friday. We used a condom, and it felt good at first but we didn't have a lot of time because his mom came home, so we stopped and just hung out for a while.
A few hours later, we messed around for a little bit, and he told me he wanted to do it without a condom. I trusted him, and told him it'd be fine as long as he knew how to control himself. He stayed in for about two minutes but promised he was very careful and far from cumming. I don't know if it's my paranoid mind, but I've been worrying about that since the day after. My period is very inaccurate and skips a day or two than normal, so I never really know when it is going to show up, but this time I counted ahead. It should come sometime this week, but I'm letting my worries get the best of me. My boyfriend is very responsible and fatherly to my sister, so if chance happened that I did have his child, things would be fine...
Anyway sorry for the long question, but any advice to ease my worries?
You have every right to be concerned. The pull out or withdrawal method of birth control is the least effective method of birth control.
The male ejaculate has the most amount of sperm, some where between 20 and 150 million sperm. But the male pre-ejaculate or precum also contains sperm. The amount of which depends on the amount of precum emitted. The male does not feel the precum/ejaculate emanate from him as it is a lubricant for sexual intercourse.
Whether the sperm enters you from precum or total ejaculation the sperm know no difference. All sperm are programed to find an egg to fertilize. On the positive side we know that out of the millions of sperm that enter the total amount that actually reach the egg, if one is there, are very few.
You had sex on Friday, today is Tuesday. The plan "B" pill is not as effective after 48 hours. You can talk to your pharmacist about whether taking it now will do you any good. You don't need a prescription for the plan "B" pill.
In a week or two you can start taking home pregnancy tests or wait to see if you get your period. You nervousness over a possible pregnancy can also cause you period to be late or missed as well so a home pregnancy test is in order if you miss your period.
In the future use some type of birth control when having sex. Otherwise it is like playing Russian Roulette with a fully loaded revolver.
Here's the thing, I have never smoked or done drugs.. but 3 weeks ago..I ended up basically doing a deal for my friend..and I put his dub in my pocket for a few minutes until he got there for me to give to him..
Today, I just took a drug test for a job, and I was wondering what would be the possibility it shows up? Rare right?
I feel like now I'm freaking out for nothing because I didn't actually do anything besides hold it for someone for a few minutes.
It is a funny thing about how our bodies' absorb things. Just for the record I think you'll be fine with the drug test. In the future be careful around friends that smoke dope or do drugs.
Our body's absorb things in different ways. We ingest them, we inhale them and by contact. If you are in a room with people that smoke dope, even though you don't. The second hand effect of their dope smoking will effect you and could or would cause a positive effect on a drug test.
I had or have friends that smokes weed. They have/had jobs that don't drug test. I worked at the time at a job with high security needs. We had random drug tests. When they got the weed out I left.
Our body is full of pores. We absorb things through our pores. If your were and explosives expert and traveled by air you would always trip the explosive meters at the airports because your pores have absorbed and retained some of the chemicals in the explosives; even though you wore gloves. The unprotected port of you is still exposed to absorbing the chemicals.
In your case you probably did not hold them long enough to score higher than if you had eaten a poppy seed roll. In the future tell your friend to score his/her own drugs; for if caught it matters not who's/ they are you are in possession and you get charged.
hello everyone.. i can't stop thinking about my girlfriend's past.. she had relationship with other guy for 6 yrs...we have been in relations for 8 months now.. lately i only picture of her being in physical activities wid other guy. i am sorry i might sound somewhat weird but it wasn't my problem when she told me everything at the beginning.. sometime i think i deserve better woman than her... i tend to think nowadays that she was used and dumped so i don't know if i would be able to love her as a wife.. having these things in mind.. we used to talk about getting married soon but now i am confused. can you guys give me some advices..
its not that i have not fool around wid other gals before but still ....double standards i guessss...
You seem a bit old fashion. Let me ask you a question. Do you feel it is okay for you to come to the marriage bed after sleeping with one or more women for however many differing periods of time; yet your wife should be a virgin?
If your answer is yes, than you are living in the wrong century or at least in the wrong society. Sexual freedom and equality has been around for a long time. Since the sexual revolution in the early 60's women have been more sexually active prior to marriage. Now because of diseases more women are putting off having sex until they find themselves in long term relationships; still it is rare to find a true virgin over the age of say 21.
This women was in a long term 6 year relationship with a man who she thought she would probably marry. You are in an 8 month relationship, having sex with her, even though you are thinking of marring her. Did you think this is the women I'm going to marry the first time you two had sex?
Do you see the point I'm trying to make? She was in a long term relationship versus being in a new relationship with you and your condemning her for her past. The problem is all your not hers.
If you can't get past this then don't string her along and break her heart again. End the relationship now. But be sure to give her your honest reasons for doing so.
Im 13 and female. I know what your going to say, youre gonna say its just a teenage phase im going through. Id believe that if i hadnt been thinking this since i waz 4. So lemme start my story. Im scene, just saying, most ppl call it emo. But my parentz dont get scene so they just think imma freak. How can i get them to understand im not emo anymore?
sinK is sort of on the right track with the advice given. You do need to talk with your parents and let them in on how you feel and who you are as a person.
It's funny in a way but we parents joke that we wish our children came with an operators manual like the car or the washing machine. But children don't. They just pop out into our world and expect us to have all the answers and we don't. We learn on the job. The first child is the hardest to raise; it gets easier with the second and future children. The first and onlys pay the biggest price in the parental learning curve.
As parents we learn by asking questions. Our children, especially teenagers think we are being intrusive and tell us nothing or scream at us to stay out of their personal lives.
I'm a little concerned that you feel the way do for as long as you have. Unfortunately other than the emo reference you did not expand upon your reason(s). If you would like to discuss your reasons for your feeling this way private message me with the how and why of you feeling as you do and maybe I can give you some insight or help you find a better way to connect to your parents.
In the mean time, try talking to your parents, really talking, calmly without tears or screaming. Tell mom or dad or both together how you feel and how long you have felt this way. If you were my daughter and came to me in a calm manner and tried to explain all this to me. I would be both surprised and hurt. For the same reason; first that I failed to see it and second that you have been hurt by my failure to see it.
We all love our children, that is a given. some parents raise their children with an iron fist others use a softer method. The difference between parents is in how we raise our children. Somewhere in how your parents have chosen to raise you is probably the problem that causes you to feel as you do. It is not because they do not love you.
Im 13 and my parents wont let me have a cell phone. They say its just because ill lose it. Is that completely unfair or completely fair?
I'll be up front with you and tell you that you won't like my answer.
It is not our place to say what is fair or unfair as to how your parents raise you or what they decide you can have or not have. They are your parents and they know you best. They know if you are responsible or not.
From what you wrote it sounds as if your parents feel you are not responsible enough to have a cell phone;"They say its just because ill lose it" They know you best. If they think you will lose it who am I to argue with them.
What you need to do is to prove that you are responsible. Just how you do that may differ from family to family but their are some basics. You keep your room clean. You help out around the house and do whatever chores you have been given without being reminded or told to do them. You do your homework on time. You observe any curfew you may have. You make sure your parent know where you are and when you are going to be home. Then be home when you said you would be or try to call them and let them know you will be late.
This is what being responsible is all about. If you can do this with regularity you parents might have a change of heart.
Im 13. How can i tell my family im a cutter? And once i tell them, how do i get help to STOP cutting?
You have taken the most important step in how to stop hurting yourself by asking for help, even if it is from strangers. The next steps get easier.
Children cut themselves for a variety of reasons. For the most part they are trying to get attention that generally does not come. The second most often given reason is to feel something.
What I would like you to do while you find someone to tell that can help you is to do what some doctors suggest. It is called transference. I would like you to find a big rubber band and slide it loosely over your wrist. Next time you feel like cutting yourself, snap the rubber band against your wrist instead until the desire to cut goes away. This will work if you give it a try and really put the same thought into it that you put into cutting.
Know how to get help? Who to ask?
If you cut as a means to get attention and didn't get the attention from your parents you want or wanted. Don't take that as meaning your parents don't care. As a parent we have trouble understanding and remembering what it was like to be a teenager. We are very quick to write off moodiness in our teenagers as a fact of puberty that hopefully will pass sooner rather than later.
If you will not talk to us we can't help you. We get as frustrated with you as you get with us. Our frustration is just a little different than yours. We are not mad at you, we are frustrated because we know you are hurting and just don't know why and therefore don't know what to do.
If we try and talk to our children it usually ends up in a no win situation. So we sit and eat ourselves up over this hoping you will come to us and ask us for help or tell us what the problem is. So talk to mom, dad an Aunt or Uncle or one of your grandparents. The conversations starts with; I need help, I've been cutting myself.
If for some reason you feel you can't talk to a family member then find a trusted teacher to talk to. Your teachers, school principals and guidance councilors are all trained to help you. The conversation starts with the same 7 words.
Please trust me when I say you are not alone. There is help for you. You just have to take the next step. You have taken the hardest step by admitting you have a problem. The next ones' get easier.
Everyone knows me as a like funny guy who goes all out for the dress up days in highschool. Can you guys help me think of something like outrageous to wear?? ill wear almost anything!
iwantthetruth thinks your a girl. You say your a funny guy. Which makes me think your a boy.
Not knowing where you live I can't account for the weather. You could start with wearing things inside out. Wear you underpants over your pants or shorts. Maybe wear a boot or shoe on one foot and just a sock or go bare foot on the other. Shave only one side of your face.
If you want to go a little further you could try brushing your teeth with mom or your sisters lip gloss. If you have any piercings exchange them for mom or your sisters earrings.
One other thing; You could just wear a toga and sandals. It is not really crazy but I think you would stand out as I don't think any one else would think to wear one.
That's about as crazy as I can get at the moment.
A very good friend of mine will call her Ann for years has never invited me to her parties . Every time confronted her she had different excuses. I am talking for about a fifteen yr friendship. So finally I quit talking to her for a year . Then I called her up and said I didn't care anymore about this. She then invited to an event for her daughter. I graciously went and thought everything was fine. But the other it started again. The strange thing is this event was a home party with kinda of a unique product that I really like and she knew how much I liked it. I am so hurt again. I am sick of it. I don't think she wants me around but were good enough to talk all the time. Don't get it any advice?
I'm not sure I would refer to this women as my friend if I were in your place. I mean if our friendship was one of mere convenience. Meaning good enough for talking but not good enough to invite to dinners or special events. I would put that person in the category of an acquaintance.
What I mean is friends do things together such as going shopping, exchange dinners in each others home, have family events together and so forth.
You spoke to Ann one time about this and she made a one time exception then went right back to her old ways. While two wrongs don't make a right I would say next time she calls tell her your busy and you'll call her back, then don't. If she stops by your home tell her your really busy and don;t have time to visit and you'll call her, then don't. Maybe after experiencing this she might get the message and call you to find out whats wrong. Maybe she wont'. If she doesn't you have an answer to how much Ann values your friendship.
So my boyfriend and I have been dating around a year. We always hold and hands and he puts his arm around me, but we didn't kiss for a long time. Once we finally kissed like a month later he tried to French kiss me, I was expecting it so I backed away but the next day I gave in. After that we were sitting together one time and he starts kissing me and then puts his hand on my chest and then he even slipped his hand in my shirt an was messing around. I liked it so I didn't stop him. The very nex day we were watching a movie and e does the same thing but this tine he slipped his hand down my pants.
Now two days ago we were walking an we went under a bridge and started making out and he kept lifting my shirt up and finally I undid my bra and he was touching and kissing me there and he unbuttoned his pants and put my hand down there.
None if this feels wrong because I know I'm not going to actually go all the way, and I love him. But I don't know if he'll stop loving me or feel differently about me. Should I stop doing this stuff? I'm 16 and he's 14 by the way.
I'm both a little impressed and surprised at how aggressive your 14 year old boyfriend is. When I was his age I don't remember being that aggressive. Then again I wasn't going with girls two years older than me.
Since you don't plan on going all the way and since sometimes things get to a point of no return for both of you; I would suggest you dial it back a couple of notches with him. Such as keeping your clothes on and his hands staying above your waist. Let him know this is as far as your willing to go.
He's 14 so expect him to be a little childish about this and do some, call it begging, since you have already gone father than I'm suggesting. Since you have; he is expecting to eventually hit a home run and even at 14 he is more powerful than you and can overpower you.
If you ever let it get to the point of being naked with him or just down to pantie's I would suspect he will try to force you further as a 14 year old horny male does not know from NO or stop.
21 female. Boyfriend is 19
Me and my boyfriend has sex for the 2nd time together last night. I have been on birth control for about 4 years now, and about 99% of the time I take it at the exact same time every day. My boyfriend also wore a condom. The thing is, literally like 2 minutes before we were done having sex he said he made sure the condom was still on, and then when we were done I felt it was off. And I was like Nick, the condom. And he checked his penis and he was like omg where is it? And I'm almost positive it was stuck inside of me, I'm not really sure what happened. But it was not on him. I immediately started freaking out.
Do you think I'll be okay? I know there is always a chance of getting pregnant but I'm hoping being on the pill will save me. I've been sick just thinking about maybe getting pregnant because of this. My boyfriend said at least I was on birth control, and that no matter what he would stand by me and he tried calming me down but it's not working.
The fact that you are on birth control limits the chances you will become pregnant. Most birth control pills are 99% effective and when used with a condom it increases the effectiveness.
There are only two reasons I can think of that Nick lost the condom before withdrawing or upon withdrawing.
1. Nick was wearing the condom incorrectly or it was the wrong size.
2. Nick lost his erection before he withdrew and the condom by friction held within you.
I would suggest you make sure that Nick has a properly sized condom and knows how to wear it. Condom breakage and loss of condom during sex is usually the result of improper application or sizing.
Do you really believe that there is life after death because I've been thinking of ending mine. Than I realised eternity is a long time to spend in the company of the things that made me end it in the first place.
First of all suicide is never an answer. There is no problem so devastating that can not be resolved. All one needs to do ask the right people for help. In the U. S. the right people are the volunteers at the Suicide Hotline, which operates 24/7 365 days a year. Their number is 1-800-273-8255(TALK).
Call them and talk to them. They will help you and help you find people in you community to help you resolve whatever it is that is making you feel this way.
If you feel like hurting yourself call 911 or the emergency number for where you live. People will be sent to you to help you. The 911 people will talk with you and stay on the line with you until help arrives.
I have suffered from depression for a long time. My depression is in remission right now but it is an everyday awareness that I have of how I use to be and the battle I fought to recover. Because of this I think I may just know a little bit of where you find yourself at the moment.
I can tell you that depression cause you to see things, not as they truly are but through a distorted image caused by the depression. Once you seek treatment for the depression and can see thing more clearly you will find that whatever the problem that sent you into depression is more easily addressed or corrected than it appeared.
Please take my advice and see your doctor and be screened for depression, then follow the doctors advice. I am a depression survivor and speak from experience.