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Why are my parents so protective of everything?!
Okay I'm 15 and to be honest I've about had enough of this. My mother is another story.Yes i love her but sometimes wow! I just wanna go to sleep for hours sometimes and not wake up. She has parental controls on almost everything! my phone now included because my friend accidentally was messing around and mentioned drugs in one of our txting conversations. My mom freaked when she read it and took my phone away. And my friend is no drug addict she is such a wimp i doubt she would but i havent told my mom yet. Also my ipod got taken away because i let some dude friends of mine use it and well they did some bad stuff on the internet and ya.. so they didnt close then window or erase thier history and my mom saw it and again freaked out!she thought it was me! and thinks im lying!! and kept it who then gave it to my father!!! and once i was watching the E! on tv watching the kardashians and of course she freaked and put locks on the tv. So my mother will not compromise im not sure what to say? Also now shes having trust issues with me about all that! so i need help with that to and to help her understand my side! because she will listen to what i have to say but she doesnt keep it in mind at all! also what do i do if she hates my friend i was talking about what do i do with that to?! Help!
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OMG! My Mom is the same in some ways.
Your Mom dose not know when enough is enough(so do so many other Mom's)
Maybe you can get your friends to tell your Mom the true(talking about your iPod)
if that dose not work then really what can you do?
All so try talking about this with your Mom. Say that she is being unfair. And say why you think she being unfair.
All you can do is try and talk this out(If you find an other way give me a yell up. I can use it.)
If she still being unfair then you just know that you said what you feel and why you feel that way. And tell the true. I mean wouldn't the true come out in time?
That's all I've got to say.
Wish you luck.
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solidadvice4teens has given you some good advise. You have been a little careless with the things you own. By careless I mean allowing others to use your things to do as they please knowing your mother is going to look at them and get upset if she finds things on there that she does not want you into.
As a parent I would say; even if you came to me and told me that what I found on your iPod and phone were from others using them. I might have some trust issues with you as well, especially with the people you pick as friends. Don't take that the way it sounds. I may trust you but I am going to have some strong feelings that your friends could, as we parents say, lead you down the garden path. That by association you could get in trouble. This may be because I do not know them.
On the other side of the coin your friends may be as trustworthy and honest as you are. Their parents may be as controlling as she is. Since you have had unfettered access to the Internet with you phone and iPod they could be using yours to access what they can't just to see what they are missing. I don't know this,mom doesn't know this, we/I can only judge by what is seen.
Now that is what I see from your writing. I could be entirely wrong in my impression of your parents attempts to protect you and their style of child raising. How I raised my children or how your parents raise you can be entirely different. Fact is neither of us can be right or wrong. As I like to say, "it is unfortunate that children don't come with handbooks;" as parents we learn on the job. So will you when the time comes.
So how to defuse the situation with your mom and you. First: If your mom hatted you she would not care enough to try and protect you. So lets put that one to bed right now; your mom cares very much. What you have to do is gain your parents trust, show them that you are not careless and that your friends are not a bunch of hooligans.
I would suggest that you first sit down with your mother and acknowledge that you have been careless with your things. That you have allowed others to use them without supervising what they look at or how they use them.
Tell mom in the future you will strictly restrict who & how you will allow others to use your things in the future. While doing so explain to her that while your friends may have been using your things it was not true carelessness as in you were not aware they were using them. Just you were not aware of what they were doing, you always knew who had your things. In the future you will restrict the usage as well if your are allowed to have them back unfettered.
While you are calmly talking to mom explain to her that your in high school now and that the social life in high school is different and that you need the opportunity to grow with the expanding world you now face. You need the opportunity to learn and to make some mistakes on your own. To learn from those mistakes with her and dad there to help you when you do make mistakes. That every mistake does, at your age warrant a punishment instead should be seen as opportunity to learn from it with their guidance.
This is the best advice I can offer you. Calmly talking and explaining to your parents that your growing up and needing to experience thing, to make mistakes and learn from them with their guidance and not necessarily punishment will help you grow and mature.
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Protect your stuff. Don't allow friends to use anything electronic of yours. That's the mistake you have made several times that lands you here. As long as your parents pay for your phone and the Internet they have the right to put filters in. They do it out of caring and trying to ensure you are safe.
How could they not think you aren't telling them the truth? You're the owner of the phone and 100% responsible for who uses it and what that person does or doesn't do. The same situation with the Internet. If someone does something wrong it's still your account, your phone so who can they believe? Same thing with the TV.
What do you do? Admit you made a mistake in letting friends use the phone and the Internet and didn't supervise them and that they went to those sites or sent those messages. Tell them who the friends were and have them consult their parents. Aside from that all you can do is protect your phone, don't let others use the Internet and show consistently that you aren't doing wrong and eventually these constraints will be lifted.
If she dislikes your friend she's entitled to and has reasons. I'm sure if she talks to that friend, their parents and yourself that it will be ironed out and the real culprit dealt with over the Internet and phone issues. But yes, be more responsible and don't let the phone out of your sight or people use Internet accounts attributed to you.
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