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Money matters?
Okay, I'm just going to start off by saying that this will be a little long so please bear with me :) Oh and this might seem totally materialistic and shallow but I can't help it, its really a problem for me.
I'm 14 and I'm seriously depressed. Here's the problem: I'm poor.. Not 'can't eat three meals a day' poor. Just 'can't afford a car' poor. Like middle class. Not that I care much about these things but everyone at my school does. My dad gets like a very normal salary but that's not enough so my mom has to work too. Together they put enough money for me to go this really good school. The thing is, the school fee is REALLY high, for people like me I mean. So only rich kids go there. So my parents own like this little apartment where we live, and they can buy me fancy clothes and stuff (not branded but not that its a problem) and we can eat out once in a while. But we just can't afford a car. And that's why I have no friends at school. Everyone there is rich, and has a car. I'm not and I can't afford one. So all my classmates are really mean to me. They don't talk much about money but that's why they don't like me. Shallow, I know, but what can I do? The guys totally ignore me and when they talk they're really mean. The girls act like they're my friends but they bitch about me all the time and they only call me when they need something done. I try so hard to fit in but I'm afraid I never will.. I can't become rich just to get friends. That wouldn't be real friendship. Is money all that matters? If so, will I always be alone in life? I'm sure I'll never ever get a boyfriend but I reaally want a friend :( And since I'm focusing so much on this my grades are dropping.. I used to top the class but now these mean girls do. I'm afraid I'm letting my parents down now too.. what do I do? Please don't make rude comments, reply to me only if you really want to help. Thanks in advance :) <3 <3
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Work/School Relationships?
If you don't mind, I would like to cut right to the heart of the matter:
Money comes and money goes. Even if you were rich today, you may not be in the same position a year from now.
So, with that in mind: Do you want friends who actually like you, or only what they can GET from you?
Would you be stupid enough to accept a boyfriend who only cared about what brands you wore?
The long and short of this, and this is from a good amount of experience on both sides of this issue:
Every place you go, you will meet people who only care about money, brands and sparkly things.
You will also find people who don't care about these things.
Just wait until you get to college! Boy what a change that is going to be. You are going to have anti-establishment hipsters and people who have already have 23 plastic surgery operations at the age of 21... in an effort to be something that doesn't exist in real life... only in the airbrushed world on magazine covers.
Stop trying to fit in with spoiled rich kids, and start growing your own personality.
When you do find someone who you like, and likes you back... what are you going to do when they find out you are a fraud or rather a fake who is just trying to be something she isn't?
Then you will lose that person because you weren't being yourself.
If you take the time that they spend talking about money and looking down on other people and you study with that time, you will be the one who does best in life.
One more thing: Your parents are sending you to this school. I suggest you say thank you to them. Always remember: If they didn't love you enough to have you, raise you and pay for your schooling... they could afford that car.
They chose your future over that car. Time for you to wake up and realize how lucky you are to have parents who aren't selfish.
I wish you the very best.
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Let's get things straight here.
One: You are not poor. Poor would be you can't put food on the table or you have no shelter and you can't provide for you or your family that is poor. Middle class is not poor. People on wealthfare are poor.
Two: You should be thankful for the things you have rather the things you don't. Appreciate what you have now! Your parents are providing you with an education by paying for a good school. They are buying you clothes and you have a home to live in. Some people don't have any of that. Some people can't go to a good school and some people can't afford any clothes nor food.
Three: If the people at your school only care about having a car and having materialistic things why would you want them as friends? Material items don't make friends it's your personality and hwo you treat others that makes friendships last. The people at your school seem shallow if they won't talk to you because you don't have a car.
Four: Money isn't everything. Yes it's needed to pay the bills and to obtain necessities but it isn't everything. You want friends to like you for you not just for money. Money changes people. Maybe instead of trying to find a friend at school try joining a club outside of school or do an activity outside of school where you can meet other people.
You need to not let these girls get to you. You need to stand up for yourself and take back control. Think about what's important. Maybe try speaking to a guidance couselor at school who may point you in the right direction. I'm sure at your school there is someone going through the same thing as you and they are just afraid to speak out about it. Another thing, if you really want a car go get a job and start saving up for a car of your own. Don't leave it up to your parents to buy you one!
Hang in there and if you want to change something then you need to find ways to do it yourself!
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Sometimes its not good to fit in, if you fit in, you probably won't be remembered as much. If they're that mean then they're not worth being your friends. I go to a poor public school. The people there even call me a poor bum: winters with no heat, low hot water, reposessed car, lost jobs an arrest, drugs, and a crazy uncle .BUT, I don't consider myself poor. I have everything I need, it may not be the best but its there. They don't understand your struggle. Its classism. Once you get to college, you'll most likely meet people who feel the same way and understand.
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Hello I just want to say I had a friend like you a couple of years ago(I'm 14 and in 9th grade) so I kinda know what you are going through. I know that you probably don't want to hear this but alot of people dont want to be friends with middle or lower class people because they are afarid that the people that they use to hang around with would laugh at them. Me on the other hand I don't care what others think about me but I do care what they think of my friends. If I were you I would concentrait on school and not on those around you. I know that its hard for me to say that but it is true. I know that you know what the true meaning of a dollar is and alot of people and I mean alot of people dont realize that. I know that you are very thankful for you parents and what they dfo for you. I do agree with Zane and Adviceman49 they do have a point. Just remember it is not what you have of what is on the outside, what matters is what is on the inside.
Hope I helped
If you need any more help please ask me
blr51697 :D
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I know you may not want to hear this but kids are shallow, They are rude, ignorant and just don't give a shit. That isn't towards you, That is towards your classmates.
Sometimes you just need to focus on what you do have and not what you don't. You have a family that loves and provides for you and in the end that is should be what matters not the fact that your parents don't own a car. Also, Adviceman is right your classmates are not rich, They do not make the money their parents do. I am 27 years old and I am yet to own a car myself, The point I'm trying to make is you aren't the only one in the world that doesn't have a car. Be grateful for what you have because it could be much worse and don't pay attention to what other people say and think let them be little assholes.
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Let me first say I'm an adult of retirement age. I tell you this so you will have a better understanding of what I'm saying.
First to heck with the snotty rich kids. They are not rich, their parents are. Someday they are going to have to go out on their own and want everything they had as a child. They will dig themselves a financial hole so deep they won't be able to climb out of it.
You on the other hand understand what the value of a dollar means. Your parents are working hard to put you in a private school and hopefully a good college after high school. They are doing this so you can have a better life later then they are able to provide now.
It is the hope and dream of every parent to provide for the children in a manner that allows for their children to have a better life then they have. You and your parents are living that dream.
I know what it is like to go to a school where you have few real friends. The only thing I can tell you, and it won't mean much now, is that these kids in school will never be life long friends. After high school you will all go your seperate ways. In college you will make some real friends as your studies will provide a common ground based on interest rather than a common generic course of studies as in primary school.
Once you complete your education you will be able to go out in the world and make your own way in it. Hopefully the economic situation will be better than it is today and you will find a good paying job that allows you to have all the things your parents sacrificed for. So that you could get a good education.
Your private school is being paid for by your parents sacrifices. One such sacrifice is the car you speak of. Even if the car was paid for in total the cost of insurance, fuel and upkeep is probably half the cost of your tuition.
I know your depressed about the material things your missing and lack of friends at school. Make friends at home. Be thankful you have loving parents who are not materialistic and willing to make sacrifices so you can have a better start in the world. Take full advantage of what they are doing for you and get good grades. Tell your parents you love them and thank them for their sacrifices.
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