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about
I am straight to the point, My advice is given based on my opinions of what YOU write. I may not always tell you what you want to hear but I am not here to sugar coat shit.
I am honest, I am blunt, At times an asshole but one thing I can promise, I'll never lie.
advice
I am constantly abused physically at home what can i do
Call the police, Tell a school counselor
Or a trusted adult.
If you have bruises, Take pictures. Record the abuse at home by phone but report it.
F/30/US
This is long. I'm sorry.
We met about 2 years ago and promptly started dating. Things got pretty serious; we kind of lived together. Healthiest functioning relationship either of us have ever been in.
We both suffered emotional abuse as children and battle chronic depression; we deal the best we can. Shit went south when he started a hellish job. For a while he at least talked to me about it and I tried to help him the best I could. Eventually our relationship stagnated. No intimacy (neither emotional/physical). Neither of us knew what to do. Neither of us had the will to fight.
Last June I ended it. He said he understood, I cried, he held me. We said we'd stay friends because we both still love each other.
For about a month we didn't really speak. Eventually we started hanging out again and discovered that we are awesome friends. He started looking to date again so I did the same. Sometimes I wondered if we had made a mistake; sometimes I was jealous, but I want him to be happy, even if he's happy with someone else.
I had a brief fling with a random guy. He briefly dated a girl we'll call "C" but she didn't seem to return his feelings. We went to a bar one night and he saw a cute girl, bought her a drink, they chatted for a minute but she wasn't interested. We got drunk. While we waited for the cab, he asked if I wanted to be friends with benefits. I asked him if he thought doing so would complicate our friendship. He said no and kissed me. We went to his house and had sex. He told me that he missed me and loved me, but didn't express any interest in getting back together. The next morning, we had sex again and then he started acting awkward (shut down), so I left.
Not too long after that he had a brief fling with a random girl and hooked up with another friend. He told me about it; I was jealous but said nothing because we are only FWBS. Not too long after that, I decided that I don't want to date anyone. Not too long after that, he decided the same.
Since then: we spend a lot of time together and have become closer. Most of the time we are just friends. Sometimes we sleep together (5 times since we separated) and, emotionally, it is, usually, very intense. Sometimes he shuts down afterward, sometimes he doesn't.
2-3 months ago, I dreamt I was at his house and another girl showed up, unannounced. He didn't answer the door, but he called her and told her that she needed to leave. After she left, he told me that they screwed around every now and then. I wasn't upset but I asked him why he had not told me about her before. He explained that I meant more to him than she did and he was afraid I wouldn't understand. This dream struck me as particularly odd because he hasn't mentioned another female in months.
Some context: he uses sex as a crutch for his crippled self-esteem. Before we dated he slept with over 100 a women and had never really been in a long-term relationship before. While we dated, he would often make me jealous to buoy his self-esteem. He would talk, in detail, about his previous sexual conquests and use his friendships with other females to drive me batshit crazy. He would never admit to any of this; I'm not even sure he was aware of what he was doing or why.
Recently he asked me about my expectations regarding our relationship. I told him that I love him more than I have ever loved anyone; that he is my best friend. I also explained that I do not expect for us to get back together anytime soon, if ever. I told him that I felt, for a while, that he was angry with me for breaking up with him, that I am still afraid that he doesn't really understand my reasons for doing so, and that I have never broached the topic because he hasn't expressed any interest in getting back together. He told me that he also loves me more than he has ever loved anyone else; that I am his best friend. He said that he had gotten over our break-up months ago, but that he thought it was easier for him because he has lost so many loved ones in the past. He told me that he thought it was possible for us to be together again one day, but that he didn't want to date me again until I finished college because he felt that I was changing too rapidly. I said that I feel the same because I do.
Yesterday I was at his house, we were just hanging out like we usually do. He mentioned (and not randomly, she fit into the context of the conversation) a "friend" that he "used to fuck around with" and, now, "occasionally hangs out with" from time to time. I immediately suspected that he was talking about C. And so, I asked him, "Are you talking about C?" He said that he was and seemed bewildered that I knew she existed. ("I told you about her?")I asked if I was complicating matters by being at the house at the time. He said that I wasn't and promptly dropped the subject.
I don't even know what I'm asking. Maybe I just needed to vent. Maybe I just want help putting the situation into perspective. I don't know how I feel anymore, and I don't know what to do. I love him; I have no desire to be anything more than what we are right now... I'm curious about what she is to him, but I'm not jealous. Not really. I think what bothers me... Why didn't he tell me before? Why did he suddenly stop talking about girls, full stop?
I feel like something very strange is going on. Then again, this whole situation has been rather strange for a while.
Thanks for reading.
I thonk neither one of them are really right for you, Guy number 2 is only their for you physically not mentally. He wants a fuck buddy, Not a relationship.
Guy number one, It is hard to be with someone when two people suffer emotional issues. It is even harder to be with them if neither one of them decide not to seek help for those issues.
You are riding the raft down the wrong river, You need and should seek someone who has the same desires and expectations as you. Someone who also has stability in their life. Clearly, You are looking in the wrong places.
No, Most of the time when a relationship doesn't work out we cannot be friends with that person. You then allow yourself to prolonged the pain if you do
22/m
Hi,
I seem to get really nervous-almost scared about talking in groups. It's weird because if I'm talking to someone one on one it's fine usually. But when the attention of everyone is on me, I turn bright red, my voice cracks, and I start panicking. It's also quite because often it happens when I'm in a professional environment with friends, e.g. a training session with my colleagues.
It usually starts when I have to introduce myself, and talk about myself. I've tried everything you would expect- picture everyone naked, relax, breathe, do it often (introductions etc), remember everyone wants you to succeed and to calm down, pretend noone is around, etc etc.
I've always been shy, but I remember when in high school- I would always volunteer to speak in debates in my school club- I don't know where our c why things turned. I was willing to let it go as a flaw, but it's starting to affect my career now, to the extent of me nearly calling in sick just so I don't have to do it.
Seriously, any help will be welcome - I'm desperate for solutions!
Thanks.
Sounds like anxiety. I have the same problem, I am on medication and it doesn't cure me but it helps.
Not everyone is a people pleaser, You could try it in front of family or a group of friends to get yourself more prepared.
I myself am a little more complicated as I am an extreme introvert. I have a hell of a time just talking with one person.. so there is One thing you ARE good at. ;-)
Try looking into some anxiety medication but speak with a doctor to see if you need it. It may also just be nerves
To be honest, If I saw you speaking, You would be just a person. No different rhen anyone else
What would look good with a knit, pastel yellow-colored long-sleeved sweater? It's a baggy style. Please include shoes and all when answering question :)
You know.. I think some black jean shorts, Or skinny jeans would kill it! :-) As for sneakers? Try converse. Hoops, bangles, and a chain necklace
i went to a party and hooked up (made out) with a guy i was very drunk and he was sober. he was even helping me to walk and shit. i was aquintances with the ex but never like good friends. i did want to hook up with him. so i asked him if he and the girl were still together and he said no we broke up. so we hooked up and i dont feel bad about it at all. hes a senior and im a freshman. so his ex texted me the next morning saying back off hes mine and i just said i dont want him you can have him but before that i said sorry because we did used to talk. but they arent even together now or when we hooked up. if anyone she should be yelling at it should be him like did i do anything wrong? everyone keeps telling me i didnt because he was sober and still wanted to hook up. advice? thankss
If they weren't together then she is just being a typical jealous ex. I would ignore all her calls and text messages or block her.
Also, I don't know exactly what you mean by "hook up" but when someone is drunk, They cannot legally consent.
As for the ex again, Ignore her. She is only making an ass out of herself.
My boyfriend and I went to go see Temptation. We were cuddling and holding hands during the movie. Then the part where the girl starts flirting with the guy that's not her husband comes up and now I see my boyfriend pull away. I put my head on his shoulder and he moves away. then I ask him why he its doing that and he says he had An itch??? during the rest of the movie he is giving me a bad vibe like I did something wrong. the movie end and I'm just sitting. he takes his jacket which I was using for a blanket. Puts it on and the hoodie. asks me if IM coming and then I say yeah let's wait for the people at the end because one of them has crutches. while.I sit I catch him starring up.ag.these girls. I look back towards the screen and then get up. Then I say, "you are smart". He starts walking.ten feet infront me so I take a different exit to the car. An argument follows.thereafter about how the movie reminded him of me.because I don't always answer the phone. And how I told him that I was losing attraction to him. And how he thinks that I have someone else. All is true accept the part about having someone else. I have never cheated on him. For some reason he thinks the worst of me because I don't always answer my phone. please help. What do I do in this situation?
Sounds to me there is no trust, He is making accusations about you. You stated you are loosing attraction to him which makes me ask, Why are you with him? You both clearly are falling out.
My assumption is that he may have interest in someone else, From an outsider: End it it is extremely rude of hom to act so cold. Also taking s different exit? Really?... sounds like he didn't want to be spotted with you. I wonder if maybe there was someone he spotted and he isn't telling you something? Sounds sketchy to me. Either way, If that happened to me..
That would be the last date.
You both sound unhappy
Hey-17/f
Back in August, I had bad anxiety through boredom, which led to terrible insomnia where I didn't sleep a wink for one week before the doctor gave me something. Through counselling and relaxation I slowly regained my life back.
Recently, I've had a cold and its lasted a week, and basically its brought my insomnia all back. I try sleep meds, but I have this thing where I don't feel relaxed enough to sleep until it starts getting lighter! Also, the cold makes it impossible for me to practically breathe, so I'll be tossing and turning all night too :/ What would anyone suggest how to sleep better?
If you have a cold, That could effect your sleep. Try going to bed an half hour earlier then you usually do. This will help you to fall asleep sooner.
Also, If you are congested then try tea or a hot shower.
13/f...well, I've told y'all about how my bf wanted me to have sex with him but i didn't want too, well...i wanted to..and we did. well, it wasn't really considered sex because, i was wearing a pencil skirt...with a thong and he had on khakis..with boxers (obviously) and i took off my pencil skirt and he took off his khakis we started grinding and stuff he kissed down my stomach but..we didn't really do "stuff"...is that considered losing my virginity? and am i considered a slut?
You sound regretful which clearly indicates you were pressured and not ready.
You are not a slut, You made a mistake. If you aren't ready then you need to stand your ground. I believe with all respect, You are way to young. NEVER do something you aren't ready for. Also, Unless his penis was in contact with your vagina, You are a virgin.
Now please stop!
I have this best friend.
Best friend in the entire world.. we are literally inseperable. She understands me better than myself sometimes.
But the only thing is, she always is botherine me. I dont even know why, but it seems like everytime I am not with her, I am annoyed with her. I am so tired of thinking about her literally 24/7, it is just overwhelming. However, when I am with her, I am so happy. So, my qustion is: what do i do? keep or around, or get out. She is sucha stress in my head but socially she is my best friend ! Also if someone knwos why I think about her so much, please tell me. I literaly have no idea..thanks!
You've become dependant upon her. Sometimes when we around someone so much we become used to them. Every relationship needs space. If you become annoyed with her for not beong with you, It may eventually start to get to her. Honestly, What you have written, You sound a bit needy. Spending time apart is healthy and its how you keep a relationship stronger. If you don't learn to respect that then you will eventually smother her and kill your friendship.
This is awakward but yeah uh I'm 13 and when I need the bathroom then like its there but it can't come out like its really sore when I try push it to come out and stuff pls help
Hello
Stool softners should help. Also, Try adding more fiber to your diet. (Beans, vegetables, fish)
me & this guy grab each other ALOT & we both REALLY like it so he asked me 2 grab him & we got alone IN SCHOOL 2 do it & he said go 2 thi place if u want me 2 F u& I whent, I walked intha room he told me 2 grab im asked me if I liked it whent 2 a dark corner & told me 2 come ther , when I got ther he started taking off me shirt & I got really nervous & pulled away after i had collected my thoughts he pulled out HIS DICK & STARTED JACKIN OFF & told me to give him a hand job I did & he told me 2 suck his dick I did when we was done he told me to put his cum in my mouth I did well my question is is it normal for me to really like it and have a stroner tension for sex??? thanks we r 14
This behavior is rather a bit compulsive and disrespectful.
Whether there is sexual tension, It is rude to come out and grab someone. Also, Very risky and inappropriate to be doing on school grounds. Technically, His actions are more of someone who would be sexually harrassing someone only you seem to feed into his lack of common sense.
Shame
I am 15 years old. I cannot eat, drink,sleep, or smile with causing more harm than good. I will go days without any of it and that's not my choice. I have anxiety attacks daily and find myself repeating things constantly; whether its counting, checking work, or cracking my body. I just get stuck looping and looping untill I'm in serious pain or tears. School has become impossible and my social life has vanished. My parents treat me like their burden. I am affaird ask for further help because I know they will say I am wasting their money and being over dramatic. I have tired every form of help out their, but have not gotten any closer to finding relief. I feel weak all the time; like i am dying. Every minor task is effort now, even walking up the stairs. I just do not have the strength and energy to keep on going. All I want is the pain to end and I will do anything to make it end if I do not find actual help. Please if you know how to help me do not hesitiate I am barly hanging on here.
You are over rhe age of 14, Meaning you can legally see a doctor without your parent in the room with you. The first syep is to try and have someone take you to the doctors office. Whether it would be a parent or someone you trust.
Next, You can talk to your doctor about how to get yourself into counseling.This is where you start
Last night I kissed another two guys while drunk, I feel so guilty, but like my boyfriend never wants to do anything like go out an drink and hang out with other people and stuff like that which I like doing, he's more the type to just chill at home and we barley even have sex anymore or hardly even kiss. I just feel like I have no social life, and the way we never had sex or kiss more than just a peck on the lips it drives me crazy and makes me feel like I'm shit or something? So like while being out drunk for the first time in ages and having so much attention from guys I like kissed one and when he left and I was talking to the other guy an he full understood me we ended up kissing too. I don't even know what to do, I really love my boyfriend and want us to work but I feel like I'm not wanted in that kind of way. :(
If you love him then talk to him, Tell him how you would like to spend more time together. Getting drunk is not how you solve a problem.
Perhaps you both aren't compatible, It's hard to say with such little detail. Also, Kissing men while drunk is seeking the wrong type of attention. Talk to him, Work it out or move on
Hey guys, so im gonna be 16 next month and my boyfriend is 17, anyway, we have been dating for 8 months now and today he just texted me telling me that his grandma bought him a new car its a really nice one too and he is so excited about it. Ok so im happy for him but to be honest i dont think he needs one, he doesnt even have his license yet! And he doesnt really go many places besides hangng out with me. The thing is, i just dont want him to start getting a big head about it and start being spoiled cuz he seems to be getting alot of things he wants right now:(see, ny ex boufriend when he got a new truck, thats ALL he talked about and cared about it was so annoying and frusterating that i finally dumped him because he was starting to act like a jerk. I dont want the same thing to happen now with my current boyfriend:( what should i do/sat without sounding like an attention-hog?
You are over reacting. If you keep being needy you will eventually kill your relationship.
Any Guy who gets a new car is going to be excited. It's not you, It's a guy thing. Be happy for him
Unless he starts not wanting to spend time with you and would rather sit in his car 24.7 then stop worrying so much.
I'm 21. Okay, first I been with my boyfriend Meechie for about two months, and he is already pressuring me to have sex with me. When I tell him "no", he gets mad and just stop talking around me, but he would talk to his friends, and act like I'm not there. We are never alone, the only time we are alone, is when he wanna have sex. His family and friends are ALWAYS there. A week around I was waiting on my bus to go home, and his brother asked him to go to the mall with him. Meechie did ask me did I want to go, but I told him no. So long story short he left me at his house to go to the mall with his brother and friends. He work a couple to blocks from my house, and he never came over my house not even once. I always gotta go to his house. He never take me out, when I do see him he just go to his friends with his friends, and half the time I'm with him he is high. That's all his friends wanna go is smoke weed. I don't smoke, and I hate the smell. There not allowed to smoke in the house. I think he is the worst boyfriend ever, and i'm going to break up with him. I am over reacting about him?
He is not a good match for you.
Honestly, He doesn't even sound like good boyfriend material. This guy wants sex, Not a relationship.
Find someone who is right for you and makes you a priority in their life.
Hey im 15 and have been texting this girl recently and we both like eachother and today i met up with her and went for a walk.the conversation was a bit awkward but not THAT bad and shes a bit shy (which i find cute).anyway we want to go on an another walk and i want to do more things with her now so i want to know how to keep a conversation interesting for both of us.its difficult to talk because i already know so much about her from texting her like just all the basic questions.any help appreciated
Sometimes it takes people a little while to come around. Once she becomes patient with you, She will open up more.
It maybe one of those things were you do the talking and have her listen. Try to talk about things that she likes and interest her. Offer to take her to the park, Then slowly work your way towards a conversation. Maybe try lunch, golfing, arcade etc. Be patient with her
im 13 and live with my mother her boyfriend my aunt uncle and 2 cousins . thats to many ppl in 1 house. i have a sister who lives in nc with her friend and she like my sister too they say i should live with them because ive had some personal problems but how do i tell my hatian mother who says no to everything
You are a minor and cannot move out. If you do or attempt to do so you will reported as a runaway and escorted home by the police.
Hey im 15 and have been texting this girl i like a lot recently.we flirt sometimes and her friend says she wants to kiss me if im out with her soon,so youd expect her to be quite outgoing in our conversations.sometimes she can be really flirty and reply instantly but a lot of the time she takes along time to reply,sometimes ignores messages and i have to start another conversation topic and she never texts me first i always start out chats.what is going on? Im clueless
1, Never listen to what other people have to say. People lie and spread rumors all the time. Unless it comes directly from that person, Never assume.
This girl may be either. I am also not the type to respond right away either. If you really want to know then ask her. However, I would not continuously send her text measages as that can get very annoying to some people.
I just curious and im asian . Rate out of 10 . Thats my pict http://m.flickr.com/photo.gne?id=8624338456&
That photo is hard to see.
I have this guy I've been seeing and he decided that he was in love with me the first time we talked on the phone. He was calling himself my boyfriend and telling me he missed me and loved me on our first date. Now he calls and texts all day, he leaves me voice mails crying when I don't answer my phone. He sends me texts accusing me of ignoring him if I don't answer right away. He's driving me crazy I don't know what to do. How do you break up with someone who is constantly accusing you of being the problem in the relationship??? I've only known him a month and he's talking about our wedding having nightmares of losing me waking up screaming. Does this sound unusual to anyone else or am I just relationship challenged?
He is not sensitive, He is needy and jumps to assumptions which in a way very well can lead to a controlling relationship you allow it too.
My advice with something like this is to be honest. Tell him it is not working out and that it's over. When someone is needy and desperate you need to be blunt and straight to the point. Do not give him the benefit of showing him sympathy. If you do, He will use that to try and manipulate you into feeling sorry for him. Once you tell him it's over you need to cut all contact with him. Do not answer his text/calls just move on and let him do the same.
I personally find this behavior to be annoying and smothering. Without trust and respect, You have nothing.