|
Sensitive boyfriend
I have this guy I've been seeing and he decided that he was in love with me the first time we talked on the phone. He was calling himself my boyfriend and telling me he missed me and loved me on our first date. Now he calls and texts all day, he leaves me voice mails crying when I don't answer my phone. He sends me texts accusing me of ignoring him if I don't answer right away. He's driving me crazy I don't know what to do. How do you break up with someone who is constantly accusing you of being the problem in the relationship??? I've only known him a month and he's talking about our wedding having nightmares of losing me waking up screaming. Does this sound unusual to anyone else or am I just relationship challenged?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
This guy sounds like he needs help. He is clearly the problem here, not you. He is obsessive and has control issues, and in no position at all to be in a healthy or even somewhat normal relationship. As others have mentioned before, you need to cut off all ties with him, no questions asked. Be straightforward with him and let him know exactly how you feel. His behavior is not normal-he has zero respect for you, he is just troubled and has major emotional issues that only a shrink can address. Make it completely clear that you want to cut all ties--you should not have any contact with him. I would even suggest blocking him from calling you (contact your service provider), in the likely event that he continues contacting you after you break up with him...I am almost certain he will still try to. Someone as unstable as him will not let go easily. Take care of yourself, and if he tries to pull some crazy sh*t, like stalking you, you can get a restraining order against him.
]
He is not sensitive, He is needy and jumps to assumptions which in a way very well can lead to a controlling relationship you allow it too.
My advice with something like this is to be honest. Tell him it is not working out and that it's over. When someone is needy and desperate you need to be blunt and straight to the point. Do not give him the benefit of showing him sympathy. If you do, He will use that to try and manipulate you into feeling sorry for him. Once you tell him it's over you need to cut all contact with him. Do not answer his text/calls just move on and let him do the same.
I personally find this behavior to be annoying and smothering. Without trust and respect, You have nothing.
]
He's not sensitive. He's irrational.
He's not 'unsure of how to handle his feelings'. He's cruel.
This kind of behaviour is insulting. Either he is so in love with the idea of being in a relationship that it really doesn't matter who the hell YOU are and what you want, or he is trying to manipulate you with his extreme emotions to make you feel like you couldn't possibly challenge him on his horrible behaviour.
Either way, it's not okay behaviour.
Frankly, if I were in your shoes I wouldn't even discuss this with him. I find this kind of behaviour so creepy and fundementally wrong, that I would simply end the relationship and be clear about why. He is the problem. He'll keep on being the problem until he learns boundaries and respect.
You can let him know all this - but don't waste your time trying to make him understand. The most important thing is to keep yourself safe, and far away from this controlling, disrespectful and irrational behaviour.
]
Well yeah, this is really unusual.
I've dated a guy before who was kind of like that. He would freak out if I didn't answer the phone and then call back like 10 more times and leave voice messages about how I'm ignoring him.
You should first sit down and talk to him. You need to tell him that he is moving way too fast and it is making you really uncomfortable. Hopefully he won't get all dramatic and start blaming himself to try to make you feel worse. Anyways, give him boundaries and see how that goes.
If you plan on breaking up with him, then tell him straight up and don't beat around the bush. Don't let him beg or anything. Just be straight up but be very nice about it.
Lots of people have deep feelings for someone in the beginning of a relationship but they don't handle it correctly. They over express their feelings and scare the other person off.
So try and see if he can take boundaries but if you really aren't interested anymore, just be straight up and kind.
]
Yea you need to drop that fool....hes crazy. Just tell him youwere born with a dick and hopefully he will go away
]
Have an honest conversation with him. Tell him that you really like him and that you want to be in a relationship with him, but he's moving too fast for you. Tell him what you want. For instance, if you want him to call only once a day, let him know that. Tell him what your boundaries are and what is too much. Tell him that he's overwhelming you and you just need to take it slower. You haven't done anything wrong, he's probably just very overwhelmed with feelings and he doesn't know how to handle it yet because he's young. He has to learn how to trust and understand that you're there even when you're not and not be so insecure. He is acting like he's just too immature to handle a relationship. You're you're own people with your own lives. He shouldn't be all of your life, he should just be a special part of it. Give him a chance to respect your feelings. If he can't tone it down and take it slower for you, he's not really interested in you, he's just interested in the relationship. You want to be with a guy that likes and respects you and reacts to your wants and needs, not a selfish guy that loves the idea of love more than he loves you. It's not really a relationship if it's all about him. Definitely give him a chance and make sure that you are very specific with the boundaries that you want. He seems like a nice guy, but like I said, he's just not acting like he's mature enough for a relationship. Give him the opportunity to show you otherwise! Good luck. :)
]
More Questions: |