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Fear of Public Speaking
22/m
Hi,
I seem to get really nervous-almost scared about talking in groups. It's weird because if I'm talking to someone one on one it's fine usually. But when the attention of everyone is on me, I turn bright red, my voice cracks, and I start panicking. It's also quite because often it happens when I'm in a professional environment with friends, e.g. a training session with my colleagues.
It usually starts when I have to introduce myself, and talk about myself. I've tried everything you would expect- picture everyone naked, relax, breathe, do it often (introductions etc), remember everyone wants you to succeed and to calm down, pretend noone is around, etc etc.
I've always been shy, but I remember when in high school- I would always volunteer to speak in debates in my school club- I don't know where our c why things turned. I was willing to let it go as a flaw, but it's starting to affect my career now, to the extent of me nearly calling in sick just so I don't have to do it.
Seriously, any help will be welcome - I'm desperate for solutions!
Thanks.
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Many of us have that problem. I have the same problem although I do much better in front of strangers then when I was in front of people I know.
I found that practice, practice, practice by rehearsing in front of a mirror helped. By knowing my material to present solidly so that I did not have to follow my notes or refer to a written presentation helped a lot. I would also try to find, when in front of my work group, a really good friend I could make eye contact with, this also helped.
The only other thing I can offer is to take, if it is still offered. The Dale Carnegie Public Speaking Course. It is a wonderful course though a bit expensive. This course does help those of us afflicted with such problems you and I have.
The biggest problem with making a presentation in front of friends and coworkers is the anxiety over looking foolish or failing in front of them. This is where practice, rehearsing and in depth knowledge of your subject matter is of great importance.
When I finally realized this and had to stand up before my co-workers and my boss. I would say to myself. Okay guys bring it on, give me your best shot, your the ones who will crash and burn. You would be surprised as I began to believe myself I got more confidence in myself in front of them and the problems disappeared. Even my manager took note of this and made mention of this to me.
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I have anxiety to. I'm only 17-but this is what I do to help myslef.
1)Put myself in public speaking situations. For example, volunteer as a spokesperson for somewhere. Force yourself to speak to people on the phone not by email. Get work experience or volunteer with things like scouts/guides or whatever. If you arange things like this where you can't get out of speaking to people, then you'll have to. You'll feel scared on the day and jsut ebfor ethe event, but amazing afterwards. The thing is the more you put yourself in these horrible situations, the less they will seem so scary.
2)Get wise about anxiety. It is a very common illness-you're not alone by any stretch. Understand what it is. It's not going to kill you-it's your fight or flight response which is designed to keep you safe. Whilst it feels really rubbish-it's only there to keep you safe.
3)Try medidation. Take a few minutes out every day to meditate. Research 'mindfulness' online-it helped me no end. Also, acknowledge that ok, you feel anxious to speak in front of others, but just acknowledge this and let the thought pass, without commiting to it (dont allow the thought to get you anxious, just be aware its there)
4) Don't try to 'not' think about your nerves. If I told you now, whatever you do, do not think about a pink elephant-guess what you though about? So just role with it. Allow yourself to feel this way and use the nerves to your advantage.
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Sounds like anxiety. I have the same problem, I am on medication and it doesn't cure me but it helps.
Not everyone is a people pleaser, You could try it in front of family or a group of friends to get yourself more prepared.
I myself am a little more complicated as I am an extreme introvert. I have a hell of a time just talking with one person.. so there is One thing you ARE good at. ;-)
Try looking into some anxiety medication but speak with a doctor to see if you need it. It may also just be nerves
To be honest, If I saw you speaking, You would be just a person. No different rhen anyone else
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