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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

advice

Hii... 14\F I really like this guy , I dream of him and think of him 24\7. I tried but I just can't get over him. he is turning 19. He allways tell me he likes me and loves me, but i dont really know if its true! he lives far away, but me and his sister are really good friends. He held my hand before but just for like 3 min. He is really cute with dark brown eyes and brown hair and his smile is awesome! He have the cutest little dimples. Should I tell him? Im afraid he is not gonna like me back??

You don't have to tell him anything. In fact it's best you say nothing at all. Just enjoy the wonderfulness of the feeling of the first time you are really attracted to someone of the opposite sex. Many people will fantasize over someone there is no possibility of being together with, which for various reasons would not work anyways.

It is okay and quite normal to fantasize about people and/or situations, but to take it from your thoughts and fantasy to real life is another story. Theres the age difference and the geographical distance even if he were your age.
A young man of that age is considered an adult. I am not saying that having a gap of 5 years between ages is the problem. The problem is that you are not the right age yet to comply with the federal law of the legal age of consent. that would be old enough to know what you're doing and make decisions about whom you have sex with.
I know it sounds like we're jumping to conclusions cus all you did was hold hands once and likely have some consistant communication with him thru textings or facebook or whatever.
But that's where it started for all of us who have partners we're sexual with. If there's a strong enough chemistry, it can easily lead to sex. He can go to jail for that. A law doesnt stop anyone from doing sex though so he can easily get into trouble, even if some person, like family or friend accused him of it even if innocent, simply because a 19 yr old is dating and hanging out with a 14 yr old. Thats enough to look fishy. Once you're 18, a five yr age gap is not a problem, its all about being of legal age.
Keep it at the level of him being your friends brother and all should be well.

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Okay so I'm a 16 year old girl and i dated this guy named nick for about 2 months then i broke up with him because i didn't like what some people said about us and i started not wanting to be around him all the time then about 2 months after we broke up i started dating this other guy named jacob and we've been together for 8 months now, but i miss nick alot and i still feel like i really like him and recently ive been thinking about being in a relationship with him again and i think he might still like me back due to our convos, but i also really like jacob and i dont know if i want to break up with him because i enjoy myself when im around him. So i guess my question is should i stay with jacob and forget about nick or should i end it with jacob and try to work things out with nick?

The reason for dating and being with a guy is to get to know how to better understand males in general, more about a guys personality, beliefs, hopes and dreams and his morals and values at core. What you are trying to learn is how to spot what you do not like and learn to stay clear of it. For example, if a guy was really selfish, you quit dating him, if he trys controlling you all the time, time to break up, he's extremely quiet and it drives you crazy cus you're very verbal and talkative, time to part ways, after some time passes in the relationshp and you get to the sexual stage, and you find, you have a high libido and his is low or vice versa and there is no real sexual spark, then its the wrong person and time to break up. So think hard about what you have with Jacob. Any of this dating experience is learning is to find that long term partner, married or not eventually in life.
Very few people meet their life long mate in high-school but it has happened. What most likely will happen is that you go for 2,3 years and at the same time each of your personalitys grow and change a bit as you mature more. Evenetually one or both of you realize that you don't want to be together for the next 10 years or more and so as friends you part. But without due reason to break up, there is no need to break up. Perhaps the lesson to learn is how to remain commited to a person. It's possible to really truly love more than one person at the same time. But in all practicality to live it out, with all 3 or 4 people aware of and okay with it, is less likely to happen though a few individuals manage it, Polyamory. It's harder than handling all the ins and out of just one relationship so if you haven't mastered a healthy relationship for many years, it's not a good idea to add another to the mix. Most guys get real possive and dont like to share anyways. Neither do the ladys come to think of it. Can see you Jacob in love with two ladys and one is you? You'd be involved in cat fights all the time with the other gal and not want to share.
Trying to bounce back and forth between two guys is not going to work. You could end up losing both. If you have a good thing with Jacob, stay. If it's got some serious issues that you two cant work through and resolves, only then do you leave.
You cannot change guys like you change underwear. They are humans with feeelings too.

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So something is wrong with me...girls rate me pretty high in looks and as a person i can't really say im bad.. but for some reason i always get rejected! I asked this girl out, shes been my crush for over a year, at first she said yes but she meant it in a friendly way(which means "just friends") but i didnt know she meant it that way and she didnt know i meant the other...i was celebrating with my best-friend, and all of a sudden she finds out what i meant and rejects me...i dont really have a question...but the thing is..is there something wrong with me?? i keep on getting rejected, and i always get so close to everything but then lose it... Why does this happen?? do girls only look at looks..cause im ok(not thinking highly of myself) but is there something i should know that i dont??

Kinda hard to tell. It might be an age thing. Young girls who are still immature and don't know what they want or go for the bad guys.
Usually at any age if women consistantly reject the nice guy and you witness them hanging with the druggies, smokers, petty theft, high school drop outs, etc...it's because the danger side to these guys make him seem exciting. But if these girls are honest deep down inside, they don't like it when the guy spends all the money on drugs, gets in trouble with the law, in and out of jail, verbally and physically abuses or threatens to, etc...

All the women want is exciting, not boring. So something about you must common across as boring.
Thats all I can say without knowing more what type of girls you're going after and your ages.

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Im a man aged 21 who just received christ but l mastabate is it wrong ?

Keep masturbating honey and don't believe what the church teaches. Its a mis conception from a time when there was less people on the planet and it was crucial to be having children instead of 'spilling your seed on the ground'.
There are a lot of other unhealthy things implied about sexuality.
It is ludicrous to beleive God gave us the sex drives we have and we are not supposed to take care of it in an appropriate manner (meaning not forcing someone else)
It is in fact very healthy to keep masturbating if you are in between having partners. Even at a young age. My husband was coached at a young age by a psychologist family friend to use it or risk losing it. women can go years with out orgasms and if she finds the right man, he can re awaken that in her. Not so for the males, whatever ability they lose, they cannot regain. So keep on masturbating.
Church will teach to not have premarital sex. That is so outdated a view and actually detrimental to marriages that are sexually healthy. I used to attend a christian church. I was a woman who hadnt had sex before marriage tho he had. I had no idea what I was getting into. We were so sexually mismatched it was a disaster and yet we stayed together because the church also frowns on divorce?! There's higher percentage of divorce among Christians now than non christians.
In this advice column I hear so many times from men or women who are in a relationship or marriage where one has lost interest sexually in the other and the other is torn between loving them and wanting to remain are out sexual and not lose it. Affairs or open marriage are out of the questions for these people so sadly, many end up parting. I used to masturbate cus the husband didn't even turn me on. And at first I felt guilty until God during prayers told me it was okay. I have since gone on to study are out books, both from different religious, spiritual views and scientific views. But don't take my are out word for it. Do some studies on your own. If word gets out and you catch too much flack at church, but want to stay with the religious community, I suggest at that point searching for a more open minded church and pastor. Theyre out there but you've got to look for them. Hint: a church that is welcoming to supporting homosexuals is likely to support you having a healthy sex life.
At one point my church told me to stop seeing an acupuncturist cus they were evil and of Satan.
Thats so narrow minded. It is a good thing to belive in CHrist but I think even he is appalled at what so called believers try to pass off as what God says. God cares more about your heart and that you learn and grow as a soul.

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my husband cant satisfy becoz husband is fell down his liquid very soon.i want to do sex long duration please suggest?

If husband has erectile problems he needs to go see his doctor. Thats important in case he is taking medication for another physical condition. Dont want to have a conflict in medications. A medication he is taking can have that side effect, so can males hormones running too low which can be corrected by doctor with hormone replacement. There is such a thing as male menopause too. There are some men as they get older who are affected by drinking too much alcohol, that can also inhibit erection.
If I understood wrong and its not erection problem but once erect, how long it is before he ejaculates, there are exercises a man can do to practice getting good at holding it back but he must be diligent to do them. Here is one of many articles on the internet about premature ejaculation. If you need it in a language other than English I am sure you can find it by doing a search.
http://www.livestrong.com/article/25394-exercise-helps-prevent-premature-ejaculation/

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my boyfriend has been trying to force me to have oral sex with him but im not sure, i was going to but it looked gross,ad felt odd, what should i doo? and it sticks too ewww!

You may be ready for dating a guy and romance, but not ready for sex. Thats what it sounds like. If you aren't ready, thats end of story. You do not have sex unless you are old enough to know you really have deep feelings for this guy and love him and he has proven and shown to you over time that he loves you too, its not just what he says.

Its all too easy for a guy to say, "I love you" and not mean it, just because they think thats what a girl wants to hear and in the end he breaks her heart. A guy who really cares about you dear is going to be supportive and understand if you aren't interested or ready and the good guy will not pressure his girl to do anything. Thats using and abusing you! Plain and simple. Even if it was just what seems like innocent sexting, pestering to send him sex pics....that is still abusive. That is not a healthy relationship. Guys who don't care about you are easily going to cheat on you too...its part of their makeup. They don't know how to be supportive and uphold another person, He may not have had any good examples at home growing up. And these guys are currently incapable of being supportive and loving. They have no code of ethics they live by and no desire to change as long as they can get what they want by promising to be a girls boyfriend. She thinks she's made it status wise, she's part of a couple, but being coupled with a jerk isn't anything to be proud of.
Give yourself more time to grown up and some day you will find a man who is in love with you and you with him and you wont find having sex with him to be gross. Although I must point out, there are adult who have thier likes and dislikes in sex and fantasies. If you at any age, 30, 50 even are with a man where you both don't like the same things and don't have the same libido, you're with the wrong guy. This is VERY important to learn cus if you date or marry someone who is not your sexual equal, he will either cheat or stop wanting sex and not ever want sex with anyone again.

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I'm 13 and ive never kissed(French) a guy and I really want to ...but I don't have a bf. What do I do?

Any kind of kissing, a peck, a regular or french is a way of showing love and affection to someone special. It means you really care about them. I don't know if its the case with all the trade, but quite often prostitutes are portrayed as not wanting to engage in kissing with a client...they do the sex but not the kissing because kissing is the more personal romantic thing so they keep that separate.
Of course, as stated Some will grow up faster emotionally and love already, kissing easily can lead to sex. At 13 boys have very little self control and that can last for many years through school.
Heck honey, I focused on school and had no time for boys until I was out and then found someone. So I didn't kiss a guy until I was 19. Right now its hormones driving you crazy.
So what you do is wait until you have a boyfriend. If you waont one so bad, you're likely to latch onto any old guy, even if he's really bad, just to be able to say you have a boyfriend and you're part of a "couple". Thats not the reason for dating. Dating is to discover what you like and don't like about a guys personality, how he treats you, and break up with the ones you won't tolerate or who are nice but you have nothing in common with. But you break up nicely explaining this to him. You may not find a guy you really care about who really cares about you at all this year or next year. It may be a couple years. There are few guys at this age who have a great desire to have a girlfriend. Yes, there are some. . . but the one guy who really is nice and wants to date might not have anything in common with you at all. So please be patient. It will come in it's own due time.

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also is this feeling weird.

my mother is currently in jail until February for a financial crime and I am her 14 year old daughter. My dad said to find and write her a card to send her there since her birthday will be coming up. I have no problem doing this but some would say it is a bad thing since I would be supporting a criminal. Personally since her crime wasn't against me I think it is OK to support her in some ways like potentially sending her some books or something. If I do decide to send a card what should I write in it (I am horrible at thinking up more than one line to write) and was thinking of getting one of those jail themed related cards on the internet but then it might seem I am making fun of her, though I know she won't mind being teased like that




also, is this weird, I have talked to my on the phone while she is there and for some reason I feel more comfortable being open with her about anything now then when she was actually here. Any reason why I would feel that way now?

I know you have been battling many differing feelings and thoughts since your mom went to jail. I have answered you before. Unless the prison has some rule against sending mail to inmates, I would think it should be okay. You are young and I know its hit you hard.
At your age, I suppose it is hard to relate with other kids whose parent have not gone to jail. They have no way to understand what you are feeling. If they have any thoughts or beliefs, those should remain personally their own thoughts and not influence what you want to do. She's your mom...you want to send a card so send it. The only issue is the battle in your mind. You need to have this question answered: Am I supporting a criminal? Supporting a criminal can be interpreted a little differently depending on the state and to what degree the other person was involved in the crime. Supporting a criminal is only what you have done before the criminal was caught or convicted and put in prison would be seen as "Aiding and Abetting" or an "Accessory" in a criminal case. What happens to the criminal once behind bars. Treating them with love, treating them as a human being who needs love, and forgiveness is important. It is what Jesus would be doing if he were walking on the planet right now. Instead, he dwells in each of us and those who realize that, go into prisons to do prison ministries, show Gods love to the criminals. They don't have to know the criminal or be related, but choose to pay them the positive attention and love because, without it , how are they supposed to rehabilitate, to process through what they've done. A person coming out of jail who is unloved by family or society in general and shunned in every way is going to have a harder time trying to remain a law abiding citizen especially when it included no one willing to ever give the person a chance to build trust with them such as in employment. Without a job, a criminal has no way to live, so as you can see, it would be easier to go back to crime. I hope this gives you more to think about.

Personally dear, I think you're experiencing a battle between both your minds. Your conscious mind understands and is okay with showing mom love and sending a card. Its your subconscious mind that is having a hard time dealing with it cus our subc. minds is where all our feelings and emotions come from and you have a whole set of feelings that are boiling inside, which makes you feel confused, frightened that it could happen again, feeling betrayed, feeling loss of respect, etc... I am guessing on the feelings but it c an be those and lots lots more. It is natural to feel these but they shouldn't take over your life and change it in a restrictive way. If after mom gets out and you've given yourself time to adjust, you see that you are still having too many emotional issues to function right at school or home or in community, then I would suggesst you ask for help because this thoughts and issues won't be visible to parents or school officials, not unless you have a radical behavior change, change of friends to the bad crowd, start taking drugs, drinking, cutting yourself, etc... or failing grades at school. If it becomes a problem, don't let it go far, ask to get some counseling help. Otherwise, I am sure you'll do fine, especially since you're taking the time to process through this stuff now, ahead of the time mom comes back home.

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I'm thirteen years old. I have identified as a girl for most of my life, but I have felt rather confused lately.

I feel like I have two genders, if that makes any sense. I sometimes feel like a girl, but there are many times when I feel, er, gender-neutral I guess.

If it helps, I am attracted to girls . . . I just don't see guys in that way. And I prefer to wear gender-neutral clothes.

I guess my question is, why do I feel like this? And does this mean something?

Thanks for any advice!

I wouldn't worry about it. How you feel about your gender and sexuality can change a lot between now and your mid 20's. For now, don't be afraid to explore and learn anything about your sexuality and gender. Gender is something on the inside of you, not based on whats on the outside.
There are some people who feel they are one or the other or both or neither, genderless. And then sexually, not attracted to either sex too.
Some people end up attracted to the same sex, opposite sex, both sex or neither and guess what, all of that is normal. The only one least talked about and understood is the last one, not attraction to either and no interest in ones own sexuality or gender, and that is Asexuality.
so her's a couple short videos by a favorite 23 yr old you-tuber who has great info for todays young people.
first one is labeled Pansexual
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bv5k9w6Hpi4

Next is one on being Asexual
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77o83_U8O5o

Bi-sexuality
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmwi-475VIM
Transgender
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrjzlttZeik
And lots more to cover anything about relationships and sexuality. Enjoy.

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I like her very much, but i never talk her, and also she know about that i like her. But i think that she does't like me because of her no response towards me . But i make eye contact with her many times. And i am madly falling in love with her..... Now what i do? I am from India.

First, theres a difference between being attracted to someone and liking someone. Attraction is based only on what you can observe from a distance, how the person looks and how they carry themselves, how they interact with friends...but thats about it. You really do not yet know enough to know if there's enough in common between you two to have either one or both of you "liking each other". Sometimes one will like a person and the other person doesn't like you in return. Or you both like each other enough to want to learn more about each other so dating starts.
The eye contact stage is just the attraction stage for you and you've been there 2 years. 2 years of any man staring at me isn't enough to make me feel secure that he really has an interest in getting to know me. If your friends have told her friends passing on messages that one of you likes the other, it could be the friends making it up cus they're imagining it due to a wish to play match maker. Other than somebody telling her that you are interested in her, you have done nothing to give her something more solid to go on to determine for herself if you are interested or not. Not every girl is going to make the first move, especially without any signs from you. Do you ever approach her, get close? A person who is interested will have certain body language accompanied by conversation. You walk up to her, stand within arms length away. This means you are close enough to be able to reach out with your hand and touch her shoulder if you wished. If the girl isn't attracted to you, she will step back to create more space. Its subconscious reaction and she wont likely know she did it. You have to be saying something to stand so close for conversation. If you just go up that close and silently stare at her, she'll get spooky vibes, like you're a stalker or there's something mentally wrong with you. If you can talk, you can get a better reading of her level of interest in return. If all goes well, watch how you both act in conversation, do you both tend to slightly lean towards each other when talking, reach out and seem to accidently touch hands, or touch their arm or shoulder in conversation for emphasis, these are ways of flirting that show interest. Mimicking each others body movement, each scratching your nose or moving a hand through your hair can be mimicked.
So hon, you need to do more than stare at her. Lots of girls like a brave bold boy. If he's too scared, she wont have any interest. Think of how it is in nature. Two bucks want the same doe, female deer. The one that wins is the stronger one is the fight. Sometimes, the one male doesnt really fight, he is just scared off so he comes across as weaker.

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There's this guy I like but ive never gone up to him or said anything to him. What do I do?

THats good advice you've been given. Eventually as guys grow up past the initial hormone stage where anyone female is interesting, they begin to develope their own taste in what they are visually attracted to in a girl. So you can be the prettiest girl, meaning looking like a fashion model and yet he goes for the plain Jane type with hardly any chest at all. So just in case he doesn't show any interest in return, I don't want you to think there's something wrong with you or cus you're to shy and quiet. You will be perfect for the right guy. It's easy to be attracted to someone. The person we are attracted to is sometimes perfect for us, sometimes not. SOmetimes they are interested in us and will respond, sometimes not. But....you will never know unless you try to start conversation.

When two people are interested and attracted, theres something called romantic body language that is a pretty good clue that someone is interested. A person who has interest in you for example will find excuses to be near you, come into close proximity, like an arms length away. That is too close for people if they dont like the person who just approached them and they will take a step backwards to create more distance between them and the other person. The thing is, they don't know they're doing it. Its a subconscious reaction of our bodies. Another is that we tend to lean toward the person while in conversation, it means they are comfortable with and feel a friendship connection. Haven't you done the same with girlfriends? It verifies a friendship is there. It isn't a sexual thing, just indicates being comfortable enough together and discovering common interest in same topics or hobbies, subjects. Thats a good place to start with a guy. If either of you catch yourself imitating each others movements, thats another thing we do when we really like the other person.
So approach him on several occasions and talk a bit and see what his reactions are.

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Hi,on the last day of my periods on the 17 August 2013 I started with trigestrel,and I had have sex 9 days after that, can I be pregnant, I'm asking cause I did finished with my last red pill today but still did not have periods.

From what I've read, it takes a week for the effectiveness of the pills to build up in your body. If you waited nine days, then you are not pregnant.
When you take the pill, it does have side affects in quite a few females. Some get break through bleeding, bleeding when they shouldn't and others don't get their period when they should...and its all because we are messing with the bodys natural cycle. Literally, the hormones you are taking are tricking the body into believing it is pregnant. If a women was truly pregnant, there are certain changes that can happen but don't happen to all of them...but one that happens to all is, there is no period. Eventually the lining in the uterus thats waiting for a fertilized egg has to flow out, right now its just delayed due to confusion.
Other symptoms from taking the pill can be weight gain, tenderness in breasts, moodiness, headaches...the list goes on. For peace of mind though, it would be good to call and talk to your doctor and see what they have to say. They may have you wait a certain amount of time for period to start and if not, then take a pregnancy test. and they will monitor how you do on the pill and if there are too many other symptoms you can't live with, they will try you on a different birth control.

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I am thirteen years old, and I've decided I want to write a new book. I wrote my first book when I was nine or ten, and it was a completely made up, and all that. Now I want to write another little story, but I just can't decide what the title should be. I want something I can really build on, like about 200-300 pages like my other book. If you have any suggestions I'd like to hear them, because I'm kind of stuck right now.

Hello dear. I enjoy writing. I remember coming home from 1st grade the first couple days of school and practicing trying to write complete sentences with the few words I knew. LOL
I have finally decided to write my first book of publishing quality. When you have the right topic and scenerio's the ideas and scene's will play out in your head in detail faster than you can get them out on paper.
So think of some things you are interested in or passionate about, those will make good topics in a book.
I love romance stories, I love stories set in the historical past, I love the topic of time travel, I love gardening, the outdoors, sightseeing, and tho from a christian background, am more spiritual than religious now and lean toward earth based belief systems, such as pagan, wiccan, druid. So my book has two main characters who are pagan, both in a stone circle in their own time when lightening storm takes the man from the past into our time and the shock it is to his system. He meets the girl, they get married with a handfasting marriage, and later go to visit the country he was from only in todays time. There's the sightseeing part. And it continues on with more adventures and twists and turns.

So you can very easily put lots of things you already have an interest in, into your story. If it is to all be imagination/made up with is the fictional stories, pretty much anything goes...like time travel.
If you want something that feels more non-fictional, perhaps you could even write a story of a teen who is an outcast who secretly writes a book and never tells any peers. It becomes a hit and all the teens are talking about it. She's gone by a different name to publish so not even the school knows its her. So if she as the writer was invited to show up at the school to speak in a teachers language arts class or do book signings at local bookstores, it would be interesting to see what happens when others discover who the real writer is.
That is one where you can put all your experiences as a teen into the story and make it have some very real points, but at the time of the writing be totally fiction.
If you are into research, you may want to do one on relationships for young teens by having the characters experience the stuff teens write us about every day: How do I know if he's attracted to me, how do I know if he likes me, what am I supposed to say when we talk, how can I know when he's flirting, how do I flirt back? What should I do if he's pressuring me for sex or sexting, what does he mean when he says ....... the list is endless and there are few places young kids can go to learn the real hard and helpful facts. I have one good site for you to visit if this is what you choose to do. Let me know. It is very much needed. What a teen goes to read for entertainment value, may then indeed teach them some skills about relating to the opposite sex.

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Hi. I am 18 years old and a female and as of the last 2 weeks I have started smelling really bad of BO. I literally just showered this morning and I stink again already and I don't even know why. I have tried different soaps and dont know what else it could be. Please help!

Just in case that the odor of concern comes primarily from your private area, I will say this:
there are some odors that are normal and healthy. And there are others that are not.
Periods can smell bad. Blood when it comes into contact with oxygen will begin to smell, blood otherwise doesn't have a bad odor.
Your vagina has a natural cleansing process that takes care of itself and will clean out any bad bacteria with the clear to milky discharge you get between periods. This cleansing is done by a good bacteria. Girls who use soaps, douches and other personal hygeine products are actually killing the good bacteria so the bad ones have a chance to take over. This is one of the most common causes for vaginosis which causes a foul rotting fish odor. If thats whats going on, you need to go see a doctor to get anti biotics. It won't go away on its own.

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So my boyfriend and i just got into a fight and he told me that the reason he stopped giving as muh effort in the relationship is because i changed him into someone hes not. I molded him into my perfect boyfriend without any flaws and now he wants to be himself. Since were senior now we have to really find ourselves before we head off into college so yeah. I feel so guilty that ive done this to him and the one time he decides to have a serious conversation with me about it wihtout knowing he wanted a comversaion i triggered his hormonal side. And now were in the biggest fight ever and almost breaking up since i brought up the breaking up part because i got tired of crying because he didnt give enough effort. But i also really want to be with him so much im willing to accept this flawed boyfriend because he said that the only way a couple will last that if they respect each other and their flaws. But do you think hed be willing to give our relationship a try again? Should i break up with him so he can find someone that wouldnt want to change him?? Im in self conflict. We're both seniors.

Zane was right, you have the wrong idea about relationships. But hey we all have to learn somewhere and this isn't a subject taught in school, however it is in books and I highly suggest you start checking out what the local bookstore has, find an author easy to understand and follow who explains the difference between men and women, mentally, emotionally, how they think, perceive, etc... There's lots more to discover and learn about than just the changing of oneself issue. One of my daughters after a breakup read a book and told me she could now see some things they she was doing wrong.

The answer to your question is to let the boyfriend go. It will be hard because while your conscious mind see's that it isn't going to work, your subconscious mind where all our feelings and emotions come from, isn't going to necessarily be on the same page and feel that hurt.

I will say this for the boyfriend, he's smart to see that it is important to respect each other and realize that changing yourself for someone is not good and he's feeling the frustration for it. However, he is incorrect in that it is your fault. Throughout our lives we will come up against many situations all with their own pressures, like the pressure he felt from you.
These are opportunities for personal growth. A few of us are strong and smart enough to resist the pressures and stand up for what we believe is best no matter what. But a good many of us, especially when we are young, cave in to pressure from others and then can't face the fact that we were weak and allowed it, so we point the finger and blame others. You will never be able to make a person do something they don't want to do. We can be a point of pressure, but how the other responds to that pressure is a process that takes place entirely inside of them, the responsibility for their response rests entirely on their shoulders. If a friend began to relentlessly pressure you every day to go jump off a bridge, you would never give in to that pressure. You know that would be a life threatening decision. So if they didn't stop with their harassment, what would you do? You'd stop seeing them, you'd separate your association from them.
That is what is happening here.
As for being perfect, while I agree there is no one who is perfect, I must state that there will be people who are more perfect for you than others.

Why is it that you aren't best friends with every type of girl in school? Because you weren't naturally drawn to each other, you had too many differences and not enough things in common. Have you and girlfriends had misunderstandings and gotten angry at each other? Sure, we all have, me included. The same applies to having a boyfriend or a life long male partner. The only difference is that there is the sexual side of things here, unless the lady was bi-sexual.

A lot of the possibility of issues or fights erupting come from either both being too immature or inexperienced yet in relationships or a combo of both......or......from having too many differences. We tend to stick with or stay with what feels comfortable because most people hate change so we'd rather have the relationships that don't even have a chance of surviving long rather than end it and start the scary process of searching all over again for someone.
He's not willing to stay with you because to some extent, he has figured it out that you aren't right for him. And its not because you are flawed or lacking in some way. A person who is not right for one individual, will find they are perfect for another.
Flaws should be minor, the little irritating things that give you a chance to learn to better control your self and your emotions, not major differences that will destroy a relationship in the end.

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I'm 13 and I just moved into a new house. I have a dresser and it came with a mirror, then my aunt gave me a vanity and it also has a mirror. But the thing is is they can't fit my whole body so I will probably need a full length mirror. But although I love looking at myself when I have friends over it will be too many mirrors. What should I do?

Extra info: I don't wear makeup, I love doing my nails, I really need a desk, I was thinking of turning the vanity into a desk, idk how to turn my vanity into a desk (if I decided to do that)

At your age I understand the need for the full length mirror. All my daughters at your age loved dressing up, usually borrowing anything very grownup and sexy for each of them to dress up in, do their hair and makeup and take cute pics in. If the room is going to be crowded, a good place the full length mirror works is on the back of a door. So when your bedroom door is shut, it could go right there on it.
About the vanity, I haven't seen many in my life but the few I have, dont have a spot in the middle big enough to slide an office chair under. If it's to be comfortable whether your playing on computer or doing homework, you'd need to find a chair of some sort that fits it, not a backless stool where you can't relax. The mirror would be attached to the back, and may be easily removed by dad and then you could hang a bulletion board of some sort of the wall right behind it. Real desks that are small and can fit a bedroom are out there to be found. Try to make it work, but if it doesn't let the parents know so they can measure the space and start looking for a small desk to fit the space.

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18/m

So lately I have been having problems liking girls. I start to like them and like them for a month or so then my feelings fade away and get annoyed by them or get really picky of what they do.

I dated this girl for 11 months and she cheated on me and treated me like shit, about a month later or so I found a new girl and I liked her alot then as I said my feelings just disappear and I get annoyed.

This summer I found a good girl who genuinely liked me for me. I liked her a lot for about 2 months then one day was just sick of her and no feelings for her.

Why is this happening and how do I make it stop? It use to never happen to me. I was usually pretty spot on when I liked a girl.

Any help is appreciated! Thanks :)

Something important to a relationship is trust. Trust was broken when you were cheated on. I have the feeling you are going into a new relationship thinking you should be able to feel total trust right at the beginning until they do something to break the trust. There's the problem. Trust takes some time to build up in any relationship, even like parents trusting their kids, or business partner trusting the other partner. Trust must be earned over time by an individual. It is very fragile and can be totally destroyed so easily. You can't expect yourself to fully trust a girl immediately....but you can spend time with and get to know her. If you are not giving any girl enough time to have the chance to prove herself and gain your trust over time because you lose interest, I'd say its more of something going on in your subconscious mind. The subc. mind in wanting to protect you, has decided to make you lose feelings for a girl before it can get far enough along to possibly end the same way.
That is defeatist thinking. Your conscious mind may not believe that but your sub. does and the subc. mind is where our feelings and emotions come from.
If you can learn to trust your ability to be a good judge of people, if you know what you're really looking for, then all thats left is that you understand that dating is a process where we slowly get to know another person to see if over time they are still the perfect match for us in all ways, as best friends which includes the unconditional love, respect, trust, good communication, etc...and sexual compatibility meaning you have the same level of libidos (not all people do) and have the same fantasies and fetishes.
In the dating process, we won't find the perfect person the first time. Its a process where we get better and better at spotting the things we don't like in the other person and we back away from that. Its get to be such a good ability that you c an observe this gal interacting in a crowd and already see that which you don't like and won't tolerate and you don't even have to date to find out. People will put up a false front to look their best for someone, so often it takes about 2 months for the fake mask to slip to allow you to see the real person. On a 3rd date with a guy was when the mask slipped and I could see that he was a man with a temper, and verbally abusive, directed at his housekeeper. Just like my ex. So I finished dinner with him and when he called next, I told him that after 3 dates, I decided we didn't have enough chemistry. You may still need to do the same thing. Don't be afraid to discover a person who cheats or shows their true self early on in the relationship, thats actually a good, thing that it is exposed quickly so you can move on. Inventors and scientists know you dont get it right the first time, you have to try over and over and over and over.....etc.... before you have success. Other than the 1% who meet the right person, first one they date...the rest of us have to go through the process of sorting through lots of duds, before we discover the gem.

So you need to have an honest talk with yourself, and your subc. mind, cus it acts often like a 2nd person inhabiting the same body and many people fight their subc mind and it fights them. So you need to come to a happy medium you are both comfortable with. If in the long run, you can't get past this, you may need to see a hypnotherapist since they deal with treating the subconscious mind. Good luck!

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18/m

I apologize if this is in the wrong section.

First and foremost, I know smoking is bad for you. I am here for my question(s) not a lecture on my health. I have learned about smoking and tobacco products in school and from other people. It is my choice after all. Thanks!

I am not a very experienced smoker at all and I only have had a few cigs here and there. I don't even smoke a pack a month, which I'm proud of. I haven't ever had nicotine cravings or anything of that sort.

But I do want to learn about smoking cigars and what kinds are good for people just getting into that stuff. Any information will be helpful! Maybe any websites to visit?

What are good cigars for beginners? Best cigars out there?
What to expect when I go into a tobacco shop or Cigar shop?

Thanks!

Just as cigs can be a matter of personal likes and tastes, it should be the same with cigars. Its best you start trying different ones to see what you personally like.
Our taste might not be at all like your taste. For example, I made suggestions as to what my daughters might want to wear, but they always rejected my ideas of what I thought looked great.

Just another thing to think about. If you've only smoked a few cigarettes, it's not likely been enough exposure to develope a nicotine craving. You go along thinking you still dont have a craving and suddenly one day you're doing without and all of a sudden you have problems. Like my friends who insist they're not addicted to caffeine and when they havent had coffee in quite some time are suddenly having the worst headache ever due to caffeign withdrawals.
Be sure this is something you really want to do.

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18/m

Hello! I was looking for some extra information on either getting a German Shepard or a Lab.

I won't be getting a dog till after college when I am able to afford it and take care of it the way it needs to be. Was just trying to get information on them so I can do my research for my decision in a few years.

I love German Shepard and Labs.

I guess my question is...

Which one is more suitable for an average American? Based on my low income out of college I want to know which one would be better to take care of and to give proper things in it's life.

Thanks!

Lots of places won't even allow dogs, so unless you plan on owning your own home or renting a room from a homeowner who has, and loves dogs, there's not much chance of getting to have a dog. Some places will allow small dogs.
Big dogs need to run. Daily. They cant be cooped up all day in an apartment. The dog needs to get proper training, dog obediance or will become too unruly or destructive where ever you live. It needs to be taken out for potty and you must clean it up.
The bigger the dog, the more they eat.
It can be quite expensive to feed a dog. Then theres vet visits. A pet needs their shots and if it becomes sick they need to see a vet. Getting a pets is a big decision, not one to take lightly. Pet deposits are required if you will be renting. First and last is hard enough, not to mention adding pet deposit.
No one can tell you what dog is suitable for you. A suitable dog depends on your situation, what you can offer the particular breed, what a dogs needs are and whether the two aspects match. Then there's always different animal personality types too. No can answer for you.

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I'm thirteen years old and female. For much of my life, I have been wearing clothes that I feel are too feminine, and I want to wear things that are more masculine.

Whenever I shop for more clothes (which I honestly don't do often), I stick to the girls' section, because that's what my mom probably wants me to do. But everything in the girls' section is too feminine. I always find myself glancing toward the guys' section and hoping that I can wear clothes from there instead.

I've tried bringing up this topic to my mom a couple of times. But she always says, "No, your clothes aren't too girly. They're fine." She doesn't like it much when I talk about this either. And it's hard for me to bring this up anyway.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is, how can I tell my mom that I would feel more comfortable wearing clothes that are more masculine?

Thanks for any advice!

Does your mom have any idea what the clothes you like really looks like? you said you brought up the topic. Do you bring it up in the store with examples to show her? At your age you shouuld be allowed to exercise your own sense of stYle with some guidelines, like for example what some schools do like skirts and shorts no shorter than so many inches above the knee, daughters school didn't allow spaghetti straps or hats worn in school was a no no.
My guess is you haven't had a real thorough discussion with mom yet. Go on the net and find pics of girls and women wearing the type of clothes you are talking about. When one daughter was choosing her own clothes, every item of clothing was blue, no other color at all. It drove me nuts but it wasn't hurting her or anyone else for her to wear only blue, it was what made her happy so I stopped making suggestions.

I suggest you show her examples from pics on the web. Mom needs to realize that how one person sees or interprets something isn't going to be seen as the same by everyone. When I say the word dog, what pictures come to your mind? Your mom might see a poodle and you see a Black lab. They're dogs, just different types of dogs. Its a good time for her to encourage you to start making good decisions. If she has seen the clothing you like and still rejects it. Get some other peoples opinion, like an aunt or close friend. Maybe if they see nothing wrong with your choice of clothing, they might talk to your mom about it if she isn't willing to hear your side of it and see samples of what you are talking about.
Maybe talk of a compromise. You'll wear some of her choices if she lets you totally make the other choices.
I assume she's the one paying for the clothes. At 14 I was doing babysitting and saved up all my money and from that point on, bought all my own clothes. If you're the one paying for them, you should have free reign to buy what ever you like as long as it won't cause trouble at school or draw the wrong kind of attention to you, like guys trying to pick you up on the street cus they think you're advertising for sex.
So just start out by saying, that you feel you are old enough to start learning how to make choices for yourself, and ask how are you going to learn if she makes all the choices for you? You could ask her if she was given a choice to pick her own clothes? Whether she says she went along with mom, or resented it and wanted to chose her own, you say, well, I want to make my own choices too, or well, I am not like you, maybe you had the same tastes as your mom but I don't have the same taste as you in clothes. Heres what I like just so you know...then show her.

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