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Is it alright to send a birthday card to someone incarcerated?
also is this feeling weird.
my mother is currently in jail until February for a financial crime and I am her 14 year old daughter. My dad said to find and write her a card to send her there since her birthday will be coming up. I have no problem doing this but some would say it is a bad thing since I would be supporting a criminal. Personally since her crime wasn't against me I think it is OK to support her in some ways like potentially sending her some books or something. If I do decide to send a card what should I write in it (I am horrible at thinking up more than one line to write) and was thinking of getting one of those jail themed related cards on the internet but then it might seem I am making fun of her, though I know she won't mind being teased like that
also, is this weird, I have talked to my on the phone while she is there and for some reason I feel more comfortable being open with her about anything now then when she was actually here. Any reason why I would feel that way now?
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She is your mother. Nobody has a right to say anything to you for supporting her. You have every right to. Also it would show her that you are thinking about her and I'm sure that receiving a card from you would make her smile.
~PJC
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I think you should definitely send her a card. No matter what she has done she's your mother, the person who brought you to this world. As for "some would say it is a bad thing since I would be supporting a criminal" don't care about what they say, it's your mother and she loves you.
As for what you should write in it:
-Say how much you miss her and how you're looking forward to spend more time with her after she gets out of jail.
If you do decide to send those jail themed related cards and you're sure she won't mind, then do it. Who knows if she won't actually have laugh at it and find it fun.
Finally as for why you feel more comfortable to being open to her about anything it might be because she is not present in your daily life so you feel like you should share with her all of what you've been up to. And you don't see her often so you feel like you should make up for that time by being more open to her?
Much love to you, I hope this helped a bit. :)
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Your mum sounds like a cool lady with a colourful past to me. Send her a card! Maybe not a jail themed one, but in the card don't get too serious. Say some funny stuff, but remember to say you love her! That will be important to her. Maybe even make a cool card. That would mean a lot to her- knowing you put the effort in. Good luck! PS your mum sounds so cool, can we trade?? ;)
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She's your mother. It's a good thing to write her a card. I wouldn't suggest the jail themed card.
I don't understand how getting her a birthday card is supporting a criminal. It's being kind and supporting her to get better.
My brother is in juvenile hall and I've given him a card. It's because I love him and it's the right thing to do. It's not saying, "Keep doing what you're doing." It's saying, "I'll love you no matter what."
Who is saying things like that? Telling you it'd be supporting a criminal? Seriously, it's none of their business and they shouldn't be telling you things like that. Don't get people like that in on your business, it's like their trying to break up a family.
As for why you're feeling that way about feeling more comfortable talking on the phone with her. It's easier to talk to someone who doesn't live with you. At least in my opinion it is.
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I know you have been battling many differing feelings and thoughts since your mom went to jail. I have answered you before. Unless the prison has some rule against sending mail to inmates, I would think it should be okay. You are young and I know its hit you hard.
At your age, I suppose it is hard to relate with other kids whose parent have not gone to jail. They have no way to understand what you are feeling. If they have any thoughts or beliefs, those should remain personally their own thoughts and not influence what you want to do. She's your mom...you want to send a card so send it. The only issue is the battle in your mind. You need to have this question answered: Am I supporting a criminal? Supporting a criminal can be interpreted a little differently depending on the state and to what degree the other person was involved in the crime. Supporting a criminal is only what you have done before the criminal was caught or convicted and put in prison would be seen as "Aiding and Abetting" or an "Accessory" in a criminal case. What happens to the criminal once behind bars. Treating them with love, treating them as a human being who needs love, and forgiveness is important. It is what Jesus would be doing if he were walking on the planet right now. Instead, he dwells in each of us and those who realize that, go into prisons to do prison ministries, show Gods love to the criminals. They don't have to know the criminal or be related, but choose to pay them the positive attention and love because, without it , how are they supposed to rehabilitate, to process through what they've done. A person coming out of jail who is unloved by family or society in general and shunned in every way is going to have a harder time trying to remain a law abiding citizen especially when it included no one willing to ever give the person a chance to build trust with them such as in employment. Without a job, a criminal has no way to live, so as you can see, it would be easier to go back to crime. I hope this gives you more to think about.
Personally dear, I think you're experiencing a battle between both your minds. Your conscious mind understands and is okay with showing mom love and sending a card. Its your subconscious mind that is having a hard time dealing with it cus our subc. minds is where all our feelings and emotions come from and you have a whole set of feelings that are boiling inside, which makes you feel confused, frightened that it could happen again, feeling betrayed, feeling loss of respect, etc... I am guessing on the feelings but it c an be those and lots lots more. It is natural to feel these but they shouldn't take over your life and change it in a restrictive way. If after mom gets out and you've given yourself time to adjust, you see that you are still having too many emotional issues to function right at school or home or in community, then I would suggesst you ask for help because this thoughts and issues won't be visible to parents or school officials, not unless you have a radical behavior change, change of friends to the bad crowd, start taking drugs, drinking, cutting yourself, etc... or failing grades at school. If it becomes a problem, don't let it go far, ask to get some counseling help. Otherwise, I am sure you'll do fine, especially since you're taking the time to process through this stuff now, ahead of the time mom comes back home.
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I think sending your mother a Birthday card would be very nice. I would suggest not getting a jail themed card but some other funny type would be appropriate. You never know what the jail mail censors will with hold.
As for you other question. I think mom being in jail you have become more empathetic with her plight and she with you which makes it easier to talk. I think it will remain this way when she comes home.
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