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How Can I Tell My Mom that I Want to Change My Style?
I'm thirteen years old and female. For much of my life, I have been wearing clothes that I feel are too feminine, and I want to wear things that are more masculine.
Whenever I shop for more clothes (which I honestly don't do often), I stick to the girls' section, because that's what my mom probably wants me to do. But everything in the girls' section is too feminine. I always find myself glancing toward the guys' section and hoping that I can wear clothes from there instead.
I've tried bringing up this topic to my mom a couple of times. But she always says, "No, your clothes aren't too girly. They're fine." She doesn't like it much when I talk about this either. And it's hard for me to bring this up anyway.
Basically, what I'm trying to say is, how can I tell my mom that I would feel more comfortable wearing clothes that are more masculine?
Thanks for any advice!
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I think you need to sit down and talk to her about it. Show her pictures of what you like. Everybody has different tastes in clothes, so I think you need to let her know that you want to make your own decisions, to an extent. I mean you don't want to get clothes that are inappropriate.
So start off by showing her pictures. Also try looking in different stores. Some clothing stores do have a lot of girly clothes but some have different styles.
I'd also suggest saving money up so that you can buy your own clothes. I'm just guessing that she's buying it all for you.
You want to wear things that aren't inappropriate and also make you feel confident.
So just gather a bunch of pictures of girls wearing the clothes you like. It'd be good for her to see girls wearing them. And then look online at different stores with different styles.
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I have a feeling your mom is having difficulty understanding why you wish to wear guy clothing. I would try addressing that issue in particular. If she is unwilling to have a conversation about it; than I would do as the other reply stated and save up your own money and purchase the clothes you would like to wear. It's better to use this as a last resort as undoubtedly your mom may be a little upset but it will force the conversation to the forefront.
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Does your mom have any idea what the clothes you like really looks like? you said you brought up the topic. Do you bring it up in the store with examples to show her? At your age you shouuld be allowed to exercise your own sense of stYle with some guidelines, like for example what some schools do like skirts and shorts no shorter than so many inches above the knee, daughters school didn't allow spaghetti straps or hats worn in school was a no no.
My guess is you haven't had a real thorough discussion with mom yet. Go on the net and find pics of girls and women wearing the type of clothes you are talking about. When one daughter was choosing her own clothes, every item of clothing was blue, no other color at all. It drove me nuts but it wasn't hurting her or anyone else for her to wear only blue, it was what made her happy so I stopped making suggestions.
I suggest you show her examples from pics on the web. Mom needs to realize that how one person sees or interprets something isn't going to be seen as the same by everyone. When I say the word dog, what pictures come to your mind? Your mom might see a poodle and you see a Black lab. They're dogs, just different types of dogs. Its a good time for her to encourage you to start making good decisions. If she has seen the clothing you like and still rejects it. Get some other peoples opinion, like an aunt or close friend. Maybe if they see nothing wrong with your choice of clothing, they might talk to your mom about it if she isn't willing to hear your side of it and see samples of what you are talking about.
Maybe talk of a compromise. You'll wear some of her choices if she lets you totally make the other choices.
I assume she's the one paying for the clothes. At 14 I was doing babysitting and saved up all my money and from that point on, bought all my own clothes. If you're the one paying for them, you should have free reign to buy what ever you like as long as it won't cause trouble at school or draw the wrong kind of attention to you, like guys trying to pick you up on the street cus they think you're advertising for sex.
So just start out by saying, that you feel you are old enough to start learning how to make choices for yourself, and ask how are you going to learn if she makes all the choices for you? You could ask her if she was given a choice to pick her own clothes? Whether she says she went along with mom, or resented it and wanted to chose her own, you say, well, I want to make my own choices too, or well, I am not like you, maybe you had the same tastes as your mom but I don't have the same taste as you in clothes. Heres what I like just so you know...then show her.
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