Member Since: September 27, 2013
Answers: 12
Last Update: August 6, 2014
Visitors: 1825
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I'm a female and 15 years old I have no emotions I haven't felt anything since I was 8! My mother is worried about me because I have show a symptoms of depression lately. My mom says I'm depressed because I'm stressed but I think it's because I found out my father killed people and that's why he is in prison! I'm was courious if this was a normal thing or should I be worried or I don't exactly know so if anyone has anything that would help I would really apreciate it! (link)
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I would recommend seeing a psychologist. While it may be diagnosable, sometimes just talking with someone can help us resolve the problems in our life. I'm not sure what you think of your father, but it may also help to speak with him. Sometimes when someone that is a part of your life does something wrong we tend to think of them in a certain way and that affects us. But speaking with him may help to resolve some of the conflicts that have caused you to not feel. Either way, speaking with someone will be the first steps to a happy you.
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19/f
My uni female housemate has invited me and our other housemate to her birthday party. The issue is its over 180 miles away (3hrs by train).
The party is spread over 2 nights and basically shes said the other 2 females in the uni flat are allowed to sleep over-but not me as theres just not enough room.
Tbh I don't want to pay my rail fare and hotel accommodation for two nights when the others arn't-plys I'm not as close to her anyway and my parents won't aklow me to travel/stay alone.
Theres no one I can stay with. I don't want to let my flatmate down on her birthday but think if I do the other 3 girls will become closer and segregate me as a result. The others are all turning 21 soon and I already feel left out due to my youngness.
However going would cause alot of stress for my mum who simply won't allow me to go-fearing for my safety.
What should I do? (link)
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True friends will never put you into a situation that is unaccommodating and avoidable. Trust your instincts and if doesn't feel right, don't do it. If they react negatively, then it'll only help in showing their true colors. Your an adult, trust yourself and your decisions.
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My best friend used to do everything together. I loved hanging out with her. When a girl on her basketball team moved into the neighborhood, whenever I came over, she'd greet me with," don't bother. I'm inviting my NEW bestie over." after a while, i stopped going over. After a while, she apologized. Then she gave me the book we wrote together. She said, "write a new entry, then give it back. Then I'll write one.". But when I tried to give it back, she smirked and told me it was mine now. She had passed off her junk onto me. It has been half a year now, but I can't get over it. I've thought about burning the book. Can someone please give me some advice, because even though she is a jerk, I still cry myself to sleep at night thinking about it. Thanks, ~M&M (link)
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People can be the most lovingly hateful person and that can change based on the circumstances surrounding their life. While their is no excuse for you to be treated in such a way by anyone, much less someone you care for, she may be going through something that makes her feel better by hurting you. Their is very little you can do when someone chooses to not be in your life, but in this situation, it doesn't have anything to do with you and everything to do with her. Move on with your life, make new friends, and maybe in time and if you wish, the opportunity will present itself to be friends again.
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My father took everything of value and left us.
My mother is mentally ill and now has no insurance(so she's off her pills).
My sister is a major suck up to our mother(Favorite child).
Were stuck in an Extended Stay hotel and,its sucking up all the income we have.We have tried all "free" places for medicine and help.But our income is too high,but its not enough for us to live on.
I barely make $150 a week from my job and, its considered part time.I'm at my job all day from 10AM to 4PM and,they don't consider it full time.So because of the time and all the work,I can't get a 2nd job.We have no car,so we take the public city bus everywhere(which is $1.50 there and back per person).
My problem is my mother.She's always been an mental abuser and only to me.She says that "I'll never be anything","I'll never go to college,and even if I did I'd fail it","Ill never be anything in life,or have a husband let alone a boyfriend"... That was just this week.
She said that to me because I told her to "hold on one moment" while I was filling up water bottles,and she wanted me to look for a phone number for her.It only took 2 minutes and I couldn't look away or I'd have water on the floor.
My sister is a major suck up to our mother.She sides with her even when moms wrong.She won't stick up for anyone and can't even keep a job that long.she keeps calling out at work and lying to them about why.I tell her to quit it and I get screamed at by mom (mom encourages her to call out).
Right now I got no friends,because I don't have time.I got no other family to go to,and right now mother plans on leaving with my sister.They plan to go to grandma's and I can't come.she made that clear.Were all old enough to be on our own,but we weren't ever encouraged or pushed to go on our own.Our mother was one of those ones that did everything for you,even when you didn't want her to (tried getting her to stop,but that only made her mad and she'd guilt me into letting her).
So where do I go?Do I leave my job and beg my deadbeat dad to go,live with him in another state?
Or do I take my chances on the street?If I do that I lose everything I own. (link)
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While I believe family is important, I do not believe it is worth the cost of emotional turmoil. If the problems with your father are resolvable, than that could be a possibility (you should not have to resort to begging him though). However, I would recommend looking into low income apartment complexes. They're are complexes that participate in HUD housing and charge a percentage of your income. Based on your income, you should be able to qualify for public assistance programs as well. It may be time for you to set out on your own and develop your life in a way that makes you happy.
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I'm thirteen years old and female. For much of my life, I have been wearing clothes that I feel are too feminine, and I want to wear things that are more masculine.
Whenever I shop for more clothes (which I honestly don't do often), I stick to the girls' section, because that's what my mom probably wants me to do. But everything in the girls' section is too feminine. I always find myself glancing toward the guys' section and hoping that I can wear clothes from there instead.
I've tried bringing up this topic to my mom a couple of times. But she always says, "No, your clothes aren't too girly. They're fine." She doesn't like it much when I talk about this either. And it's hard for me to bring this up anyway.
Basically, what I'm trying to say is, how can I tell my mom that I would feel more comfortable wearing clothes that are more masculine?
Thanks for any advice! (link)
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I have a feeling your mom is having difficulty understanding why you wish to wear guy clothing. I would try addressing that issue in particular. If she is unwilling to have a conversation about it; than I would do as the other reply stated and save up your own money and purchase the clothes you would like to wear. It's better to use this as a last resort as undoubtedly your mom may be a little upset but it will force the conversation to the forefront.
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Iv been with my bf for a year now I m 18f and he's 20. I do hand jobs for him and can return to me but i got weird when he did oral on me is it normal to feel that way because I kind of liked it but I hate that I can't return that to him I'm not comfortable at all. He doesn't mind that u don't retire it. were not big on religion but we do prefer internal sex When marriage comes . I really don't know if I should've let him go far I kind of wish we were a clean couple again but its late now I left my self go with his sexual moves on me that drifted me to like it and enjoy it. He says he sees me with him for years and years but I simply can't say that back maybe because I see myself pursuing all my dreams before being with someone. I don't want to hurt him what so ever he was there when I went through suicidal thoughts and many other stuff. He means a lot to me. Maybe I'm not high sexual like him. (link)
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You should always listen to yourself, before listening to others. If somethings doesn't feel right or uncomfortable than it may be a good idea to examine why your feeling that way. People don't generally lie to themselves so when you feel something, than their usually is a reason behind it. Above all be honest with him about how you feel, regardless of how he has helped you, he should respect how you feel.
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18/m
So lately I have been having problems liking girls. I start to like them and like them for a month or so then my feelings fade away and get annoyed by them or get really picky of what they do.
I dated this girl for 11 months and she cheated on me and treated me like shit, about a month later or so I found a new girl and I liked her alot then as I said my feelings just disappear and I get annoyed.
This summer I found a good girl who genuinely liked me for me. I liked her a lot for about 2 months then one day was just sick of her and no feelings for her.
Why is this happening and how do I make it stop? It use to never happen to me. I was usually pretty spot on when I liked a girl.
Any help is appreciated! Thanks :) (link)
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It's always difficult when you put your feelings on the line and they're mishandled. It could be the reason why your having difficulty settling into another long term relationship. It also may be because your genuinely not interested in having a serious relationship with these girls. As to how to make it stop, that is the more difficult part; because only your capable of understanding how to do that. Nobody knows you better than yourself. Your off to a good start by talking about the situation. You stated this happened after a bad relationship, so I would start their. Work through the relationship yourself or talk to others, trying to resolve the negative feelings brought from it. I believe when we feel hurt, our feelings have a way of shutting down to prevent further pain and the only way to stop it is resolve the conflict that caused it. Even if it means revisiting times that we would rather not. Hope this helps.
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So ive always felt that the reasons we're here or the best way to spend your time and feel good is to help others. And ive bee trying and trying to do this, but idk what to do. I joined this website in the beginning of the year cause i was always really upset and i thought a good way to feel better was to help people and i love giving advice so i tried this and it was okay. And then i helped my friend with something, but i cant really help her anymore and i just i dont know. I dont have a lot of money so i cant really donate and one day if i have money i will but i dont want to just throw money at people. I like interacting and talking to people but i feel like i havent been through enough to really connect with people about a lot of things and really help them with anything. I dont know maybe i can make people laugh, and one day i want to write books but i dont know how much that can do and i dont know how much my books will really help anyone. I dont know i want to this cause i like making other people feel good, it makes me feel good and not like a total piece of shit who's just wasting their time with other shit and yeah. Please help me with what i can do. Btw im 16/f (link)
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Your already on the right track. The fact that your concerned with helping others is the first step to actually helping others. I also respect the fact that you don't wish to throw money at people because the most valuable thing you can give others is your time. Don't worry so much about being able to relate with others, that'll come with time as you expose yourself to different experiences. For now stick with helping others in ways that you feel comfortable. Your a teenage girl and I'm sure their are plenty of other teenagers that could benefit from your knowledge. If not here, I'm sure a google search about teen advice would find some places that could use your advice. I really believe that whatever you decide to do in the future, as long as you keep your belief in others, will help people.
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I brought up to b told im useless, fat, an embarrassment by mother.So no surprise when dumped, then got married, n treated like dirt, ref to as Yasser Arafat. Divorcedin 1979, dev rels, used like landlady, then made move to eire,rel site in mag., just followed third req.With two kids. He abused n used all 3 of us, n me to childmind his own existing two. Had 3 more, thought as kids all now related he'd accept my own two more. But no, l left twice, n went back as all councils eire and UK, housed us round drug areas. Back eire after many battered wives homes. (I've never been physically battered) He went prison for 7mmonths and got
neighbour to bail him out. He got house, I got derelicht rented, kids n cataracts, Then I shoved by eire council into bad estate. About 15 trips to council to be moved n nothing. Ex in eire won't hurt his own kids so I ask him keep my/our 3. I went Prof job n uni in UK. Came back ten yrs later, Came back, fan member has rel to special needs .All his kids. In care. 3 Irish kids now only speak to their father. Old friends from Ist marriage want no contact with me. That ex ok for them, I only one on welfare. Irish ex said if I ever went work he'd hurt my eldest kids. So no work n im a Prof.. Now ret a pauper. Can't even bury myself. Feel like finding remote place to commit suicide n become skeletonised before found. Against crem, n would cost nothing . (link)
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You've been through a lot of hardships in your life, so what I'm about to say may sound foolish; but I believe it is the key ingredient for anyone to be happy in life. You have find worthiness in yourself and if your having trouble finding it; just look to the five lives you brought into this world, that is a blessing. They deserve for you to be strong, they deserve to have their mother. I'm not sure about the laws where you live; but, I wouldn't think it would be alright for a parent to threaten to harm children if their mother started working. Your life has purpose and meaning but only you can find that; until than, make your purpose your children because that is a good reason to keep on living.
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Me and this guy i became friends with starting talking for 3 months straight, non stop..he always showed me he liked me, or made it seem like we were together because of so many things he used to do. When i realized that he wasnt bringing anything up, i decided to. and i confronted him and told him that i want to know what we are exactly, he told me i was special to him and he likes me but that he doesnt want a relationship right now because he isnt ready to change. So i thanked him for his honesty and we went on talking. I realized that he was still treating me the same, constanly being cute, calling, texting and i thought it wasnt fair to me.. so i started being cold with him until he brought it up and asked "why are u being so formal" i simply said "Im not being formal, i just think its best i keep my distance, you made your point clear last time about what you wanted, and i feel like its for the best if i just keep my distance" he said "thats your choice, if you feel like its best for you then okay, i respect your honesty" i told him that maybe we can talk again someday, and he said hed leave that to me. I cant say im surprised because i kind of saw this coming, however, will he miss me at all? we've gotten pretty close, talking day and night, always knowing where the other one is.. i do know that he probably doesnt like me as much as i like him..even though he showed he did, but i guess people just do things like that sometimes. Im hurt honestly, and i KNOW i shouldnt care if he misses me or not, i just want to know if you guys think he will, because it does matter to me, it makes me feel like i was atleast important somehow. I feel down about myself because i feel like he doesnt think im worth it. Thanks for any advice. :) (link)
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I believe anytime a person gives their time getting to know someone is a good sign that person cares for them. I'm sure he misses you and probably knows your worth every minute you spent together. If you both enjoyed each others company as friends than perhaps that is a good place to stay. A relationship has to happen naturally that way you know its genuine.
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(Previous question: http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=614922)
thanks for ur advice .. I know u r ri8. but i love him so much really. he is a nice guy and not so religious but he don't like that his wife is not a virgin.After knowing my past he started behave like this. all the time he teasing me about my past and tell that i deceived him ,used him.i tell him all the matter of past and how much i suffer mentally and physically but he doesn't have any care foe this. his only question is why i told him lie ! i lied because i think he don't accept me and leave me alone.so i hided it. i know i hurt him.but i ll try my best to improve our relation but he don't give me the chance and tell me that if i leave my study and marry him and being loyal with him. then he again love me if i proven to be a good wife to him.i feel very lost. he is 34years old m 20years. he behave like a child !!i told him that i love him truly n deeply. but he has no faith on me. he thinks that m telling lie to him. i m so confused and feel very bad.I tell him everything that how much i suffer in past.but he don't believe me. and say that i used him and play with his emotion. i say sorry to him about 100times in last month, also cried before him. but he has no care for me. (link)
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No person that loves another should make them feel this way. We all have pasts and your partner should love and accept you regardless of what happened in your past. You should not have to apologize nor feel guilty for making choices in your life that may have felt right to you at the time. The fact that he is setting conditions in order to love you again is not right. If he truly loves you he'll be able to live in the present and move forward with the relationship; but you may have to present him with the ultimatum: either let go of the past or let go of me. If he truly loves you the choice should be simple; otherwise, your better off finding somebody that loves and accepts all of you.
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So I have a boyfriend I've been dating for 5 months and my parents have met him but they don't know we're dating and they think where just friends and I'm not sure if I'm even aloud to date but this boy means the world to me and I only get to see him once a week at church and every time I do I have to be sneaky.......and I want to see him more and not have to be sneaky.....and my parents are super overprotective and strict...I'm 14 years old...........so how do I tell my parents that I'm dating him?
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I would recommend speaking with whichever parent you believe will be more understanding first. If your not sure either will be understanding, than speak with them together. I'm not sure I would tell them you've been dating for five months but, whether you decide to tell them your dating or not, I would start along the lines that he asked you out on a date with a parental escort, preferably your parents. This will make you both seem responsible, put your parents mind at ease, and give you more opportunities to see one another. Regardless of your parents response, keep cool; the more you act as an adult, the more likely they'll treat you as one. Remember to pick a time when your parents are not distracted or stressed and able to listen.
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